28: Marriage And MLM Lessons...

What's going on everyone? This is Steve Larsen and you're listening to Secret MLM Hacks Radio. So here's the real mystery. How do real MLMers like us, who didn't cheat and only bug family members and friends, who wanna grow a profitable home business ... How do we recruit 'A' players into our down lines and create extra incomes, yet still have plenty of time for the rest of our lives? That's the blaring question and this podcast will give you the answer. My name is Steve Larsen and welcome to Secret MLM Hacks Radio.
All right you guys. Hey, recently I was on stage for several days. And I was teaching. And everyone in the room had paid anywhere from 15 to 25 grand per seat to be in the room. And ... a lot of fun. It's a part of my job. I absolutely love it. It's probably one of my favorite aspects of my job and what I do. And I was on stage, and I was teaching and a lot of marketers in the room, almost all of 'em are marketers, and you know business owners, of course. And everyone was ... anyway it was really fun, having a good time.
There was a lady though, who stood up and I think she'd be okay if I share this. She stood up and she started telling us this story and we were on a certain subject here. And she stood up and we were all kind of sharing and stuff. And she stood up, and she started telling this story of when she was pregnant. Now she is in kind of like the mommy weight loss industry. She helps women basically get the results that they want without ... I'm sorry, after being a bit ... you know, giving birth, without giving up their bodies.
It's a huge, huge industry obviously. This is something that isn't talked about that much. And she's sitting there, and she's talking to us about an experience she had while she's on camera. The camera was up and running. She was teaching. And she was showing a particular ... she was showing some exercises. And at this time, she was trying to just be as vulnerable as she could. She was trying to just be 100 percent herself, no fluff, no strings attached. And she leaned over, and she had lifted up her shirt just a little bit to show her stomach. And she leaned over, and she ... you know, she was showing all the skin from the stretching, from being pregnant.
There was all this skin there. Right? And she'd stand up straight, and there was like a six pack. Then she'd lean straight over again, and there'd be all this extra skin. And she's like ... "It's weird. These are things that women don't talk about at all when they're with pregnancy and such."
And all of a sudden, while she's doing ... Now, think of that. First of all. Just right off the bat. Amazing courage to do that on camera. Right? Just to do that, when most people are out there so busy posturing, and most people are out there going crazy about all the things that they need to be doing to make it look like they're professional and stuff like that, she's lifting up ... you know, showing her labs and then leaning over and showing all the actual saggy skin and stretch marks from her pregnancy. Number one, crazy amazing props. Absolutely incredible. All right. Then, she stands back up and the abs come back. And she was talking about, "Hey these are things that most women don't ever talk about. It's not really something in the industry that much."
And while she's doing it, she pees her pants. After women give birth, the pelvic floor isn't as strong anymore. It just ... it's really easy for women to do that. [inaudible 00:03:31] it's kind of weird that I'm talking about this, but there's a whole point behind it. Okay? And she kept the camera running. And instead of getting freaked out and running around, she had no control over it, she pointed it out. And she goes, "Women. This is exactly what I'm talking about. I wanna teach you how to reclaim the body after you have something ... you know, after you have child birth happen to you. You don't have to give up."
And she posted the video. And the video got passed around like crazy. And she ... that event that she was at, that I was helping to run, that was only a couple months ago. And on a $37 product, she has made over one point, I think three million dollars, something like that. Over a million bucks on a $37 product. You think about it, that's over 40,000 customers that have to come through. Let's think about this. That's ridiculous, first of all. Now, typically I teach people how to sell more hi ticket things, and she did it on a $37 product. And she got out there and just did it and posted it.
Number one, ridiculous mad props. I just ... I'm so ... oh my gosh. Like I'm so ... I feel so blessed to even, that she was in there and telling us this story. And it all revolves around what I call and we call "the attractive character" and this notion of vulnerability. The attractive character is something that is ... it's how we speak. It's how we interact with people. It's the stories we tell. It's our parables. It's the things we like, the things we don't like. Right? It's our ability to tell our own backstory and where we came from. Right? It's our voice. And what's funny is that when you think about, "Hey. Let's go get into business. Let's go get into MLM. Let's go get into this. Let's go get into that," whatever it is.
The tendency is to jump out and start putting on a freaking tie, and go to the dry cleaner, and get my suit dry cleaned, and get starch put in there, and go look all postured, and try to make myself look like I'm better than I am, look like I'm farther than I am, look like I'm different than I am. And what sucks about that is you end up cutting out so many people, who may have otherwise followed you. Does that make sense? When we start to posture ourselves, and we try to act like we're something that we're not, we end up cutting out part of the market.
I realized this early on, not just in MLM, in other industries as well. I was doing these different ... you know, I'm a funnel builder. I build internet sales funnels as a living, and put all the pages together, and all the automation, and all this stuff. You know that's ... and I love it. It's a lot of fun. But I remember I was putting these products out there, and I was doing this fun stuff. And it was awesome. And I was really enjoying it. But these people started coming back to me and saying, "Gosh Steven, I'm so happy that you can go do X and Y and Z, but I just can't."
And I realized that I had been posturing myself too much. There was a site that I launched first, not first ... there was a site that I launched about a year and a half ago called Sales Funnel Broker, and it's still up right now. I have not had a chance to go back and change it. But it's with me wearing a shirt and a tie. And I was like hey ... anyone to give me some feedback on this, I just want to see if it's set. I gotta go switch it right now. I probably will after I do this episode. But it was me wearing a shirt and tie and ... I had a buddy reach out to me, really quickly, and he goes, "Dude. Site looks great. Love all the stuff you're doing. Love the value your giving out there."
He said, "Just one piece of feedback though." He said, "You're not really a shirt and a tie guy." I was like, "Well, I like to wear 'em." He was like, "Yeah. But your personality, the way you market, the way you put yourself out there, your voice is not really shirt and tie crap. You're more of like just kind of tell it how it is a little bit." I was like, "You know, that's really interesting feedback."
And I thought that's actually really valuable feedback. Thank you very much and I started going ... I started podcasting like crazy on a different show that I have. And I was out there, and I was doing all this stuff. And I realized, quickly, as I started finding my voice, that more people were resonating with me as I would talk about the things I like, as I would talk about things I didn't like, as I would talk about my failures, as I would talk about ... and anyway I could get vulnerable. The game for me became so much less about how to actually look like I'm being professional. I'm a good funnel builder, you know. And I know that the stuff that I do is world class, you know. And I know that.
And that's okay to know that, and it's okay to know what you're good at and I know that I'm good at it. But when I come off in a way that is too ... what's the word? How we say, "starch in your shirt." When I come off looking too professional, and when I come off looking too like I'm trying to posture myself and looking up like ... you know what I'm saying? It actually pushes people away. And it's the same thing for your MLM businesses. Guys, I promise you if you want to have success in this faster, stop acting like you're a pro if you're not. Even if you are a pro, stop acting like ... people are not attracted to that, because I believe that I have to be on your level just to learn from you.
If you start acting like you're all professional, and talking ... if you're not vulnerable with your people, if your attractive character is too high up, people don't think they're good enough to even get near you. Does that make sense? They start comparing themselves. And the question is no longer, hey that guy is awesome, or that woman is amazing, or ... they're not, that's not the question in their head. The question in their head is, "Oh my gosh. Do I even have a shot at looking like that? Do I even have a shot of going from I am to where Steve Larsen is. Or from where, whoever, Natalie Hobson is, or for whoever ..." You know what I mean?
Wherever you guys are right now, even if you're killing it, even if you're doing ... I've got several messages coming back from you guys. It's been a lot of fun, learned more about who you guys are who are listening to this show, which I love. I've learned more about ... and there's a lot of you. It's a lot of fun. The show's blown up a lot faster than the other one did, which is a lot of fun. This is a huge need. I know it is in the industry. But I've been very careful to not position myself as someone, or somebody, or my brand as Mister Steve Larsen, Commodore Steve Larsen ... you know what I mean? Like some kind of like Commander Steve like ... no. My name's Steve Larsen. I'm from Littleton Colorado. I'm living in Boise Idaho, potato land right now because that's where my full time job is. And while I know that I could leave and be fine. I love my job, so I'm staying at it.
And it's a lot of fun, and I really enjoy it, and I build internet sales funnels. And I know that I, you know, the work that I do, both MLM style and funnel building changes lives. And it's very motivating for me. And it's a lot of fun. And there's this sense of the walls drop as soon as you become real. And that's what Natalie Hobson had figured out. And she figured it out in ... I'm not kidding guys, it's only been a couple months. And on a very cheap product she made a crap ton of money. Right? It's because of her ability to be vulnerable that made her sharable.
And if you're not talkable, if the brand isn't talkable. Let's think about it. So let's think about you and your MLM right now. You're literally the exact same as everybody else out of the box. Right? I've pounded that point like crazy in this podcast. MLM is broken as soon as you get it. Right? Same scripts, same everything, same products, you're literally competing with your upline. Okay? It's like a red, red, red, red, really freaking bloody red ocean. Does that make sense? And if it's that red and you don't do anything different, there's no reason [inaudible 00:11:17] gonna join you.
So one of the easiest ways to start setting yourself apart, besides creating additional products and actually making new offer, and all that kind of stuff, is just to highlight your actual difference. There's a great book ... I cannot remember the title of it. I actually only read the back, which is a lot of you guys are gonna laugh about, but that's me being vulnerable. I only read the back of the book, but it hit me so hard, I've never gotten the line out of my head. And it said, "Stop highlighting your strengths. Don't focus on your strengths." It said, "You need to highlight your differences."
How are you different than everybody else around you. If you start focusing on what you're different at, and you actually make that the loud piece rather than the strength ... someone's always gonna be stronger than you. Someone's always gonna be bigger, faster, better, you know whatever it is. But only you are you. And you've got differences. What makes you different than everybody else. Right? Now go highlight that. Be really, really, really vulnerable.
Now the first time I ever shot videos, and I put 'em out there, they were freaking awful. The reason I don't go update them is because if I go out ... now, the content's amazing, actually the delivery's not that bad either. But I'm really boring in the videos. You know what I mean? I think so anyways. The content is incredible. And the things that I'm teaching are amazing. But like ... and every time someone watches the five video series, it's the MLM Masters Pack, if you guys go to SecretMLMHacksRadio.com there's a five day master pack. Anytime anyone watches that, they always ask to know more, or join the down line, or whatever it is. Then that's the reason I did that.
I could go back and update it. I made those videos years ago. But the reason I don't is because I don't want to come off as like all ... too professional. You know? And it's fine if the stuff that you use, and the members areas, and all this stuff that ... the other products that I create, yeah, they're more professional looking. But man, all those front end videos, all the products and everything that's way out into more of the cold market, man, I do not make it look pro. And I do it on purpose. So, that's my invitation to you. I want you to ask the question to yourself right now, is there a place inside your MLM where you're acting too professional? Where you're acting like someone you're not?
And if that's the case, I'm begging ya, I'm asking ya, for the good of the people who you could run into and help change their lives, stop acting professional like that. Start acting like you. Actually, it's funny, the same as in marriage. You know my wife and I have been married almost six years now. We've got two kids and a lot of fun. And I made the mistake, when we first got married, that I had to start losing parts of my identity. I had to actually become an adult, you know. Get my responsibilities in order. You know what I mean? That kind of thing. Or it was like, oh, there's no more fun for me. You know what I mean?
It was almost like this mentality that I felt like I had to take on, because that's what society was telling me. The problem is that sucks. You become someone that you weren't. And you become someone that the other person didn't fall in love with. That was the other person, you, your real self. You know? It's the same thing with your customers. Especially if you've never done anything in business before ever, a lot of what happens is there's this persona that Hollywood puts out that all meetings are in suits, that you have to have meetings. I hate meetings. Meetings are dumb. Maybe I go to one, one hour meeting a week. That's it. Max. And I barely have anything to do in it, because ... and I run a big organization.
I'm not at all ... I hate meetings. But I thought I had needed it, and I thought I needed my business card. And what's my logo? And all this garbage that has nothing to do with actual sales, or business, or making money. Right? It's all this posturing crap that ... the personas of Hollywood and all the stuff start to put into our heads. And it's the same thing ... and I realized, luckily, even in the marriage and everything. Didn't mean to relate it to that, and was not planning on that in this episode, but it's true. The more I remembered who I am internally, and spoke to those things more loudly, you guys, that's where a lot of the attractive character came from. That's where a lot of finding my voice came from. That's where a lot of confidence in what I'm trying to say in my messages ... that's where a lot of it came from. When I'm just more true to myself, and it's true for you in your MLM as well.
Anyway, it's kind of a deep episode. My gosh. But hey, I hope that you guys enjoyed it. Go be vulnerable. Find places to be vulnerable. Stop worrying. You know, I would go get on Facebook Live and I would just start talking. Do it every day. And you do that every day ... if you publish every single day for a year, you will change your life before a year's even up. It's just the formula. It happens every time. Every time I tell someone to go publish or whatever ... it's happened many times now. A lot of my buddies, a lot of friends, a lot of people I've coached, a lot of my students ... they go out and they go start publishing, and the ones that are vulnerable have success very quickly, because they are being them. And it's sort of attracting like minded people.
But if it's too professional and you're speaking like you're writing a freaking essay in college, no one cares about that. Talk like you're talking to a sibling. You know? Talk like you're talking to ... and do that to your MLM people, do that to your upline, your down line, just be a very loud version of you. And I promise, that's gonna pull a lot of the attractive character out and people are gonna start loving that. They'll like to be around you. Take off the dang suit if it's not you. Right? Stop doing that. I gotta go change that picture. I just still haven't ... it's been a really busy year.
Anyway. Hey guys, hope this was helpful, a little bit of a rant there. But I just hope that it was something that you guys can really use and apply in your MLM right now, because that is ... it's one of the keys that I feel like most people focus on the product, which is good. You have to have the product, or the message, or the marketing and that's good. You have to have that as well. But there's this underlying piece when it comes to recurring buying, and brand building, and the ability to communicate your message, and your confidence, and the speed that you move will highly be dependent on you as a person, as the leader, as the attractive character and your vulnerability with that.
Anyway. Hopefully, it's been helpful guys. I really appreciate all of you. Love the engagement back and forth. I've really enjoyed that a lot. And I'll chat with y'all later. Bye.
Hey, thanks for listening. Please remember to subscribe and leave feedback. Would you like me to teach your own down line five simple MLM recruiting tips for free? If so, go download your free MLM Masters Pack by subscribing to this podcast at SecretMLMHacksRadio.com.