BIG COLUMBUS ENERGY

It’s the end of February! And in 2020, that means we are sandwiched between primaries and debates like some kind of Arby’s “we’ve got the meats” scenario except instead of meats it’s just unrelenting campaigning. Maureen is back from her vacation. She saw a boat! She saw a fish! She didn’t see the last debate, but that’s okay! Dan will fill her in.

Michael Bloomberg continues to be the Frye Festival of candidates, offering microinfluencers and randos money to text their friends because…why not? It’s 2020. Do your grift out in the open. And while we are on the subject of Team Bloomberg, Maureen wants to know what the fuck those guys are doing. She demands to know.

Trump was raveling this week. He went to India, and Dan and Maureen are here to do what they do best—look at the menu. He was also mad about the Oscars, which prompted Maureen to have a look back at a very informative profile published in 1997 that contains some truly remarkable tidbits. It turns out things have been weird for far, far longer than we knew.

Says Who: brought to you by Michael Bloomberg.

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