Savage Lovecast
892 episodes - English - Latest episode: 20 days ago - ★★★★★ - 5.9K ratingsDan Savage, America's only advice columnist, answers your sex questions and yaps about politics. To record a question for Dan to be answered in a later podcast, record your question and send it to [email protected], or call 206-302-2064. For a much longer version of the show, with no ads, visit savage.love and get yourself a subscription.
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Episodes
Savage Lovecast Episode 865
May 16, 2023 11:00 - 49 minutesA small time influencer has just been propositioned by an aspiring “pay pig” asking her to be his findom. He backed up this offer with $5 for coffee. Enticing! Should she do it? And if so, what are the rules in keeping the relationship lucrative and ethical? The other day? This guy was wanking? And guess what came out of his wiener along with the usual stuff…Blood! This call is disgusting. But Dan answers it, and manages to make it even grosser. On the Magnum, uh oh! It’s time for a Second ...
Savage Lovecast Episode 864
May 09, 2023 11:00 - 55 minutesA woman suddenly started having orgasms while using the elliptical machine at the gym. To help explain this potentially embarrassing phenomenon, Dan brings on Dr. Debby Herbenick, author of The Coregasm Workout: The Revolutionary Method for Better Sex Through Exercise. And you now have a new goal. A dom woman and her bi male sub are having a trouble trying to find a male unicorn. They have time constraints, and they live in a suburb, not a city. The guys they meet either can’t get it up, or g...
Savage Lovecast Episode 863
May 02, 2023 11:00 - 49 minutesA very vanilla woman is so vanilla that she “doesn’t know what a kink is.” That’s really vanilla! Here’s a complicated three-way situation: He is the top with his husband. But he is the sub for his Dom boyfriend. When the three get together, who does what? On the Magnum we welcome back Dr. Carlton Thomas, the intrepid gastroenterologist who fears no anal sex question. Example! One caller wants his butt to feel raw from rough use. Then, a woman wants to stretch her asshole for her boyfriend an...
Savage Lovecast Episode 862
April 25, 2023 17:48 - 46 minutesA gay man living in the south is having a heckuva time trying to find a trans man to hook up with. Also he doesn’t want to come across as a chaser… Hear the unpleasant tale of the careless, selfish dom who boxed his lover on the ears twice (after being told not to) and took some non-consensual pics as well. You hate to see it. On the Magnum, Dan brings on non-binary the comedian Mae Martin. They talk about “the gender thing” - gender fluidity, top surgery, the difference between sex and gend...
Savage Lovecast Episode 861
April 18, 2023 11:00 - 57 minutesIs it feasible to start your pro-Domme career at age 43? This married woman with kids wants to get back in the life. A lesbian is married to a woman with a Catholic upbringing and actively religious family. They live in a country where they have to pay dues to the church. When her wife goes to Catholic ceremonies like baptisms and funerals, the caller feels white hot fury. Should she let her wife go with the conservative flow, or fight it? Dan’s answer…may shock you. On the Magnum, Dan chat...
Savage Lovecast Episode 860
April 11, 2023 11:00 - 53 minutesA theme emerges! Sadly, the theme is seeing your dad’s dick. Would you be able to pick out your dad’s dick in a dick line-up? No, you would not. A woman’s brother is about to do time for pedophilia. Compounding the tragedies here, the caller has lost all sense of her own sexuality due to her brother’s crimes. How can she get back to herself? On the Magnum, Dan chats with artist, writer and gay activist Leo Herrera on gay men using words like “pussy” and “mangina” to refer to their butts. Th...
Savage Lovecast Episode 859
April 04, 2023 11:00 - 53 minutesHave you ever been to a terribly complicated orgy? This one promises to be epic. Hear about the game they invented called “Spin the Bottom.” A trans woman has started feeling claustrophobic when she goes down on either her male or female partner. Oral is her favorite! What gives? On the Magnum and the Micro, Dan welcomes professor and sex researcher Dr. Lori Botto to talk about the nature of asexuality. Is it mutable? Can you be in a relationship if you’re ace? On the Magnum, Mistress Mati...
Savage Lovecast Episode 857
March 28, 2023 11:00 - 52 minutesA couple with adult children want to start using apps together. The kids know their mom is bi, but they don’t know about the open relationship. What happens if their kid sees them on one of the apps? Some people need sexy costumes for their scene. Some people need toys or bondage gear. This lady needs a large quantity of blood. On the Magnum, have you ever thought about how awkward it would be to have to act in a sex scene? Dan brings on Intimacy Coordinator Jessica Steinrock to explain her...
Savage Lovecast Episode 856
March 21, 2023 11:00 - 53 minutesWhat is up with using the word “cuck” as an insult? Has it replaced “faggot” as the slur of choice? A man has been dating a woman for a few months. He feels they could have long term potential, even with the possibility of children. But! He doesn’t feel a chemical attraction to her pussy like he does with other women. How ill does this bode? On the Magnum, Dan chats with Paul Scheer- actor, comedian and host of the film podcast Unspooled, about the Oscars, belly fetishes, noisy sex and what ...
Savage Lovecast Episode 825
August 16, 2022 11:00 - 56 minutesA polyamorous trilingual woman wants to explore dirty talk. Her lovers all speak different languages. But she finds that when she’s talking dirty in her mother tongue it sounds and feels more aggressive than she would like. Any multi-lingual dirty talkers out there with wisdom to share? A bi woman and her man used to go to co-ed bathhouses. Once covid hit, they stopped. Now that there’s monkeypox to consider, should they stay out of this bathhouse? Or can they still go if they only play with...
Savage Lovecast Episode 824
August 09, 2022 11:00 - 1 hourA man is about to have his wedding. He and his fiancé are swingers, and he wants the whole wide world to know it. His fiancé is more reticent to let family members know. Should he tell his children that they will be staying at a swinger’s resort after the ceremony and that they plan to bang a couple of their wedding guests? Monkey pox isn’t going anywhere folks. Dan brings back Dr. Carleton Thomas to talk about the vaccine, and how to communicate about it better. On the Magnum, Dan brings b...
Savage Lovecast Episode 823
August 02, 2022 11:00 - 48 minutesSo many bi and adventurous queer men this week! A 61 year-old gay man has never, ever, ever been near a vagina since he emerged from one 6 decades ago…until now. He is seeing a trans man and finds he is loving pleasing him, but can’t quite make penetration work. And, another gay man had a great time with a trans man. So much so, that he wants to start seeing cis women. Is he ethically obliged to tell them that he has been gay all his life? On the Magnum, Dan chats with Zachary Zane, aka BOY...
Savage Lovecast 822- Extra
July 27, 2022 11:00 - 45 minutesWe’re putting out a special extra show for you all. It is becoming clear that monkeypox is spreading quickly through the gay community, and that the national response has been disorganized and unclear in its messaging. Dan spoke with Dr. Carlton Thomas, a gastroenterologist, who has been treating gay men, and attests to how painful this disease can be. The two talk about the disease, dispel some myths, and discuss the danger of anonymous, multi-partnered sex right now. [email protected] 206-3...
Savage Lovecast Episode 822
July 26, 2022 11:00 - 57 minutesMy boyfriend is TOO HOT! A woman is dating a very gorgeous man. The ladies come running when they walk into the bar, and some of them get nasty. At first the caller found this an exciting turn-on. But now she just feels jealous and demoralized. How can she turn the jealousy into arousal? A woman was perusing porn, and saw a man she is convinced is her ex. It’s been six years, and they parted amicably. She thinks it’s great that he’s doing this, but she feels compelled to let him know she saw...
Savage Lovecast Episode 821
July 19, 2022 11:00 - 52 minutesA bisexual woman came out to her conservative mother, and amazingly, she didn’t flip out. But she did beg the caller to keep it secret from the rest of the family. Mommy thinks there should be white pride parades. The caller’s girlfriend is Black. What could go wrong? A transman likes violent sex, almost crossing the line from consensual non-consent into rape. His wife worries that he will resent her for objecting. Therapy for all! On the Magnum, anxious polyamorists rejoice! Our guest this w...
Savage Lovecast Episode 820
July 12, 2022 11:00 - 50 minutesA bi man in an open relationship is disgusted by sweat- his lover’s and his own. How can he mitigate his revulsion? A macho, macho man wants to know why he (or anyone) is into hot wifing. Dan breaks it down and spells it out. On the Magnum, a man with cerebral palsy doesn’t have use of his hands, and cannot masturbate. Even worse, he lives in a small town, so sex workers are hard to find. Dan chats with disability awareness consultant Andrew Gurza, about sex with disability, and a special se...
Savage Lovecast Episode 819
July 05, 2022 11:00 - 49 minutesLook out, it’s a nibbler! A woman hates the way her new boyfriend kisses her. He nibbles on her lips even though she tells him to knock it off. Is this a worthy reason to dump him? A married gay man and his husband are newly polyamorous. But the caller wants absolutely nothing to do with his husband’s boyfriend. The boyfriend keeps making friendly overtures, like inviting the caller to parties. Can the caller maintain a social wall keeping invaders out? Should he? On the Magnum, learn a thi...
Savage Lovecast Episode 818
June 28, 2022 11:00 - 55 minutesA gay Irishman had a terribly unpleasant experience, when the man he was screwing twerked and gyrated until it felt like his dick was about to fall off. Is this a thing that’s happening? Or only on the Emerald Isle? A singer is worried that rough oral sex could harm her vocal cords. But she shouldn’t worry because Dan somehow roped in Jamie Barton, a very delightful mezzo-soprano opera singer to offer her professional reassurance. On the Magnum, Dan chats with former ugly duckling, current ...
Savage Lovecast Episode 817
June 21, 2022 11:00 - 51 minutesKissing?! Blecchhh! A 33 year old woman is a bit of a late bloomer. She has just started dating, and likes to have sex. But the kissing? It disgusts her. Her shrink told her she just hasn’t met the right guy. But she knows better. She doesn’t like to kiss and that’s that. How can she tell her fellas this? A bi woman is into daddy dom/little girl play. But she was incensed to see a warning on Porn Hub comparing her harmless kink to child pornography. Porn Hub is riddled with far darker stuff....
Savage Lovecast Episode 816
June 14, 2022 11:00 - 52 minutesBelieve it or not, a straight male dom is struggling with how to be selfish in bed. As a dom, he learned to please his sub and obtain consent every step of the way. But his current girlfriend wants him to do whatever he wants. He just doesn’t know what that is… A mother overheard her daughter’s friend say she was bi. The mother wanted to pounce and avow her support and acceptance, but she said nothing. Should she say something super-nice next time? On the Magnum, Dan chats with kindred spiri...
Savage Lovecast Episode 815
June 07, 2022 11:00 - 51 minutesA woman has been with her boyfriend for one year. She knew he was into cam girls from the beginning of the relationship. But lately he watches cam girls all the time- even when they are having sex. Now that he is choosing cam girls over the caller, she’s beginning to wonder if there might be... a problem. A man is coming to the end of his 9-year relationship with his girlfriend. But she is about to have surgery on her leg, and will need a lot of help. Is this a terrible time to break up? Can...
Savage Lovecast Episode 814
May 31, 2022 11:00 - 52 minutesA bi man in a monogamous heterosexual marriage keeps having his sexuality questioned by gay friends. It’s super annoying! Should he even bring up his bisexuality? Should he feel miffed? A woman with a newish boyfriend wants to try some consensual non-consent. Specifically, she wants to be woken from a deep sleep to him having sex with her. He readily agreed saying he would also like to be woken up mid-blow job. But how do they negotiate this ahead of time? When he’s sleeping so peacefully, s...
Savage Lovecast Episode 813
May 24, 2022 11:00 - 56 minutesA trans man used to be an escort before his transition. Now that he is hornier than ever on testosterone, he wants to try sleeping with gay men. But in his escorting days he would disassociate to get through the sessions. How can he learn to be more present in bed with cis men? A woman has started dating an older man. In sharing their secrets, he confided that he likes to cross-dress. She’s game to indulge him, but what does she need to know about it? In these dark times there is only one ...
Savage Lovecast Episode 812
May 17, 2022 11:00 - 51 minutesAn Australian woman in her mid 20s fondly remembers the intimate online relationship she had throughout high school. She thought he was 20, and though they never met in person, they would chat well into the early hours every night. Recently, she became curious about what became of him. She learned that he was in fact 35 at the time, with a wife and kids. When she confronted him, he was self-pitying in his defense. This relationship was good for her at the time. But the lie is galling, and if ...
Savage Lovecast Episode 811
May 10, 2022 11:00 - 51 minutes“Help! I’m trapped with my very nice in-laws! “ An introverted woman loves her husband’s family dearly. But when they all descend on her house and stay for weeks with their kids and their dinners and their constant togetherness, she loses her mind. How can she carve out a little alone time without offending the herd? A lesbian connected with a super-hottie bisexual. They planned to hook up, but the hottie asked if they could get some video or pics and show to her boyfriend to turn him on/mak...
Savage Lovecast Episode 810
May 03, 2022 11:00 - 49 minutesA man is excited to marry his beloved fiancé. But he harbors a corrosive secret. Early in their relationship he went to massage parlors for happy endings. He’s done with all that now, and feels terribly ashamed. But should he tell her? Does he owe her the truth? Can she handle the truth? Can he handle a lifelong secret? A woman used to have bad sex in her youth, with lots of unrequited blow jobs. Now that she’s with an attentive, loving boyfriend, she would like to give him toe-curling oral ...
Savage Lovecast Episode 809
April 26, 2022 11:00 - 58 minutesA gay man discovered that his friend had a nude photo of him on his phone. The caller had asked him to take the picture so he could edit it and send it to someone. But the friend kept the pic for himself and sent it to other people without the caller’s knowledge or consent. So. Can they still be friends? How bad is this? A queer woman has been on 2 dates with a gal, and they are getting along really well. The caller did a deep internet search and discovered that her date is in fact trans. Not...
Savage Lovecast Episode 808
April 19, 2022 11:00 - 52 minutesMazel tov, you’re a new daddy! And by “daddy” we mean a queer, dirty-talkin’, older dom. A newly single bi man in his 40s suddenly finds himself with a bevy of young men who want him to play this role, and he doesn’t know where to begin. More semen please! A man wants to know if the various foods and supplements that promise to increase semen volume really work. On the Magnum, you should have seen the Tech-Savvy At-Risk Youth™ scurry around when we found out that Anna Sale was coming on the...
Savage Lovecast Episode 807
April 12, 2022 11:00 - 55 minutesA woman discovered that her boyfriend cheated on her. How did she know? He washed his own sheets for the first time EVER. When confronted, (after lying at first,) he said that men need variety and monogamy is unnatural. Is this correct? A man and his husband now live apart because one of them didn’t want to live in the cold, dark, rainy Pacific Northwest. But they still love and miss each other so much. The caller feels like his house is a museum of their love, with objects everywhere to rem...
Savage Lovecast Episode 806
April 05, 2022 11:00 - 49 minutesA woman and her husband are getting into group sex. The catch? She’s newly pregnant. Should she disclose this to participants? 4 years ago, soon after a woman got together with her boyfriend, in a fit of paranoia, he checked to see if she was indeed doing what she said she would be doing with some friends. When she found out about this, she confronted him and he apologized. He’s never done anything like this since and their relationship is good. Still. Should she dump him for this past trans...
Savage Lovecast Episode 805
March 29, 2022 11:00 - 54 minutesStrap in (or on) for a wild ride folks, because this is the April Fool’s Day show. We asked you to send in fake calls and you came through in a big way. It is Dan Savage’s challenge to spot the phonies. A woman wonders how to help her friend dispose of his unwanted sex doll. Can he just take it to the dump? A man and his wife both got Fitbits. But now, when they have sex, they both immediately check them to see how they did from a fitness perspective! Some kinks explored on this show: glob...
Savage Lovecast Episode 804
March 22, 2022 11:00 - 59 minutesA woman with teenaged kids has started seeing a man she’s known for a decade. It’s a dom/sub relationship, where she is the dom. Part of their arrangement is that she gets to date other people and he does not. She has always been transparent and open with her kids, but she hasn’t told them about this new relationship. Should she? A man has decided he never wants to bring kids into the world. But he’s eager to adopt and have a family. How and when can he explain this on his dating profiles? On...
Savage Lovecast Episode 803
March 15, 2022 11:00 - 54 minutesGather round listeners, and hear the gruesome tale of a spit roasting mishap. A Ukrainian queer woman living in Canada is horrified and heartbroken that her Russian grandmother is not only homophobic, but pro-Putin as well. How do you maintain a relationship with such a person? On the Magnum, Dan chats with his old enemy, reformed Republican strategist Tim Miller from The Bulwark about Florida’s reprehensible “Don’t Say Gay “ bill. And finally! Dan offers THE definition of sex. voicemail@...
Savage Lovecast Episode 802
March 08, 2022 12:00 - 54 minutesA man matched with a woman in an ethical non-monogamous relationship. She proposed they meet at a lifestyle club. He had never heard of lifestyle clubs before and wonders if this is an elaborate scam to boost the club’s membership. Is this on the up and up? A man started seeing a new woman, and it’s time to share his kinks. He is into cross-dressing. (Ho hum.) And wearing maxi pads. (Oh my!) How can he tell her this without scaring her off? Speaking of scaring people off…our What You Got is...
Savage Lovecast Episode 801
March 01, 2022 12:00 - 53 minutesIt’s pretty much the nightmare scenario. Her new boyfriend gave her a digital picture frame. She mischievously sent him a nude, not knowing that it would post to a whole network of his friends, including his conservative Evangelical Christian mother. She hasn’t met his mother yet. When the day comes, how can she look her in the eye? A brave woman has taken up being a Dom to men she meets online. They come to her house and the fun begins. But she hates the awkward chit-chat at the beginning, ...
Savage Lovecast Episode 800
February 22, 2022 12:00 - 58 minutesHey everyone! Meet your new co-worker, and her …master. At the work party, the new gal showed up with her 24/7 master who fed her in front of everyone, the whole time. Now, the caller doesn’t want to be sex-negative or anything, but is this appropriate workplace etiquette? Next up! Do you like to crank them hogs? This widower had a rich, fulfilling sex life with his wife Barb, but she passed away. How can he find sexual fulfillment in his golden years? (And, Nancy has an important message fo...
Savage Lovecast Episode 799
February 15, 2022 12:00 - 50 minutesHoo boy do we have a goodie for you today. First off, a woman and her boyfriend have been together for 2 1/2 years. They stay home, watch tv, play videos games and don’t have sex. When one of them tries to initiate, they both feel too silly to get in the mood. How can they get their mojo back? Our guests are Corinne Fisher and Krystyna Hutchinson from the Guys We F****d podcast. Why we haven’t had them on the show sooner is a mystery to everyone. Dan and the ladies gab about dating younger ...
Savage Lovecast Episode 798
February 08, 2022 12:00 - 54 minutesAh Valentine’s Day. This year, Dan will finally teach you how keep it spicy...very, very spicy. Let’s tuck in. Inevitable Divorce: A man with a history of divorce in his family was chatting with a friend about how he would consider marriage when he could afford to get divorced. But his boyfriend of 3 years overheard and now there’s hell to pay. A lesbian bought a delightful dildo to use on her girlfriend. But guess what. They broke up! Does our caller have to throw away the sex toy, still in...
Savage Lovecast Episode 797
February 01, 2022 12:00 - 55 minutesA man regrets breaking up with his girlfriend. He always does this! He ends his great relationships because his expectations are too high. Would she consider coming back to him? Should he even ask? Erika Lust who is making waves with her ethical, woman-centered erotic films. She and Dan have a long convo on how porn is our default sex-ed, what porn made for women can be like, and how to consume porn thoughtfully and ethically. On the Magnum, a man has started dating a rather demanding virgi...
Savage Lovecast Episode 796
January 25, 2022 12:00 - 51 minutesThat’s right, all of you who enjoy watching your partners sleep with others now are officially celebrated ALL WEEK LONG. And here at the Savage Lovecast, we’re delighted to take part. Venus Cuckoldress is on to talk about her podcast, and to advise a woman about her plan to have a gang bang on her wedding night. And there’s more on the big ole Magnum version of the show. Then, also on the Magnum, Dan chats with David Ley, who literally wrote the book on cuckolding- “Insatiable Wives: Women ...
Savage Lovecast Episode 795
January 18, 2022 12:00 - 55 minutesOh no, it’s a three-way gone bad! A woman and her fiancé agreed to sleep with their friend. She set her very clear boundaries, and guess what? He and the gal broke them all in a triumph of cruelty and inconsideration. Now what? They have been together for 12 years. Can you imagine? A poly woman with a chronic medical condition has been attracted to a good friend for a while. The sexual tension is building…but she found out that not only is he unvaccinated, but he never intends to get the vacc...
Savage Lovecast Episode 794
January 11, 2022 12:00 - 45 minutesA happily married trans man came out to his mom. She didn’t take it well. She told him that if he changed his name it would kill her. Then she died. Now he is faced with a choice- should he use his former name at the funeral gathering, or use his true, current name? A married woman enjoys animalistic, primal, rough sex. Her husband is also gentle and sweet and affectionate. She loves both, but has a hard time transitioning from one style to the other. On the Magnum, Dan brings on Dr. Debby ...
Savage Lovecast Episode 793
January 04, 2022 12:00 - 55 minutesLet us start the New Year with…blackmail! A woman’s boyfriend got ensnarled by an extortionist on a kink website who sent private sexual photos to her family. Now she has to work through her anger and worry around sex and kink. Yuk, right? But then! You can hear the triumphant story of a man who batted away an aspiring blackmailer by telling her to go ahead and send out his pics “but be sure to use a filter to make my eyes look pretty.” A woman in poly relationships has gained a lot of weigh...
Savage Lovecast Episode 792
December 28, 2021 12:00 - 50 minutesHappy New Year? Boy oh boy, Dan tells a lot of people to break up on this episode. There’s the gay man with an older boyfriend who might want to go poly despite his boyfriend’s commitment to monogamy. There’s the woman who is finally in a healthy, caring relationship, but it’s booooring. And, there’s the woman whose boyfriend emotionally abuses her and refuses to go to therapy, insisting he will never treat her better. Out with the old, people! Let’s all treat ourselves right in 2022! On the...
Savage Lovecast Episode 791
December 21, 2021 12:00 - 56 minutesHappy Solstice everyone, who’s up for some label salad? A cassgendered (look it up- we did,) demi, pan person has a partner who was assigned male at birth but is taking hormones to be more feminine. The partner feels non-gendered, and enjoys having both a penis and breasts. But they feel they have to present as male because they live in a conservative area. They are only attracted to women, and wonders what label to use when filling out dating profiles. A bi woman met a man on an app, who li...
Savage Lovecast Episode 790
December 14, 2021 12:00 - 54 minutesWhy was he such a bad lover? A woman hooked up with a younger man, and endured mediocre sex. He didn’t reciprocate oral, for instance. She blew him off, and when he reached out to her, she was honest about his lack of skill. Later, he drunk-dialed her and confessed that it had been his first time. Now she feels guilty and wishes she had been more compassionate, knowing what she now knows. Does she owe him anything? A woman has discovered that her new boyfriend follows porny, blonde bimbo typ...
Savage Lovecast Episode 789
December 07, 2021 12:00 - 56 minutesCLEAN MY HOUSE. A woman has been seeing her new boyfriend for a few months. He is kinkier than she’s ever been, but she’s willing to try his things. A dom friend of his has commanded him to clean her house as a service sub. Suddenly the caller feels jealous. Also, if he’s going to clean anything, it should be his own damn house. A woman drunkenly made up a project she was working on in order to entice a former teacher of hers on LinkedIn. He responded right away, offering to help. Now what? ...
Savage Lovecast Episode 788
November 30, 2021 12:00 - 52 minutesIt’s a sexcess story...sort of! A woman tells us about how she relieved a 32 year-old man of his virginity. She recommends it! A woman had a wonderful hook-up with her neighbor. The next morning they made plans to have dinner that night, but she never heard from him again, in what turned out to be a literal ghosting. He died that day. Now she feels heartsick and guilty that she is grieving such a short relationship. Dan counsels her on the phone as only Dan can. On the Magnum, it’s a “What Y...
Savage Lovecast Episode 787
November 23, 2021 12:00 - 52 minutesHappy Thanksgiving, and welcome to the homo takeover! We’re focusing on queers exclusively this week, so MOVE OUT OF THE WAY, breeders. A newly sober lesbian wonders if it’s normal to get SUPER-HORNY when you quit booze. Or is she #blessed? How are you supposed to live your life when you are an ex-marine, macho, rural, hunter bro and also…bisexual? He knows he should be out, but worries he won’t be able to find women to date who would be cool with it. Next, we crank the queer dial up to a b...