Part 1 of 3: Emotional Handling - Breathing, Grounding, and Physical Awareness

Emotions are an essential part of our lives. One minute we are happy and laughing, the next frustrated or the next discouraged. Our emotions whether good or bad, high or low they have a tremendous impact on our physical, mental, and emotional health.

 

How can you control the damaging emotions like anger, temper or resentment?

 

In general, emotional control is not something that is taught to us. As we get older, it really starts to affect our decisions and it affects all every aspect of our lives including our business. If we don't understand how to get a handle our emotions, then we end up being ridden by them.

 

In this episode, we'll be discussing three techniques to teach you how to gain control of your emotions. We're going to learn how to get out of the road and onto the sidewalk with your emotions.

 

Imagination Time

Imagine standing in the middle of the road and there are several cars and trucks headed your way. These trucks and cars represent your emotions. If you don't know how to get to the sidewalk, then you are in serious trouble.

 

Usually, we’ll let those trucks and cars run us over, leaving us desperate to make any quick decision that will get us out of harm's way, the quickest. Even if it is not the best decision, no one has time for rational thinking while standing in the middle of speeding traffic.

 

Now, imagine yourself standing on the sidewalk looking at those passing cars and trucks. It's a different point of view. Notice that the cars and trucks or your emotions have not stopped their travel. They're still going to happen.

 

Now you're observing the traffic instead of being in the middle of it and you can make better decisions based on that traffic that is passing by.

 

How do you learn how to do that? We're going to be discussing the 3 techniques that I was taught is still used today to keep me on the sidewalk and not in the road.

 

Three Techniques on How to Gain Control of Your Emotions

 

Breathing

We’ve all heard about deep breathing. But sometimes we need a reminder and sometimes we need to actually do it instead of just saying in our heads, “Yeah. We already know this” You already know it, but do you actually do it? Make note of how you feel -- your physical awareness. How's your heart? Where's your mind at? Do you feel heavy? Do you feel right? Do you feel happy or sad? Then take three deep breaths. Now make note of how you feel. More than likely there is a difference. Maybe you feel calmer. Your heart slows down. Maybe your mind quiets a little. Maybe your shoulders relax. Breathing is an amazing technique and it's best used when you're in the middle of an emotional situation in which you need to gain back control. Deep breathing, you can do it anytime. And no. You don't have to do 10 deep breaths. You should take three deep breaths or one huge breath. That's enough to stop the physical reactions that are happening in you. That's what deep breathing is good at. It stops the physical response. If you're a woman, more than likely, you have this wonderful skill of crying when you are frigging angry. This helps slow down or stop the crying. When you feel that big old ball of emotion coming up, take a deep breath and it will slow it all down.

 

Grounding

When people hear grounding, they think of, “Take your shoes off and go stand out in the grass,” or, “Go for a long walk in the nature.” But when you're in the middle of something that's causing you to be emotional, more than likely, you don’t have time to take off the shoes and go stand underneath the tree. That's not to say that those aren't good ideas, but they're not the best ideas when you need something to work now. These techniques are meant to teach you how to deal with things now.

 

What to Do For Grounding

Wiggle your toes and feel the sensation of your toes wiggling together. Once you've honed in on the sensation of your toes wriggling together, that skin to skin contact, now try to feel the solid ground underneath you. This is a very good way to ground yourself when you don't have time to take a walk. So, take a deep breath and then start wriggling your toes. While breathing stops the physical emotions, grounding stops the mental reactions. When you start becoming energetic in your head, you start to leave your center. You start to go off into another place. It's hard for you to concentrate on what's happening now and in a calm manner if your mind is going 100 miles an hour and floating off into different areas, because you want to be prepared to defend or you’re having a bad memory, or whatever the case may be. Grounding takes you from all over the place and brings you back to you again. It brings you back to center and back to the present. It's a wonderful way to come back to yourself and not be drugged around by your emotions.

 

Physical Awareness

Physical awareness is all about learning how to feel your emotions. That means when you are feeling anything, actually describe how it feels. Does it feel like a hard knot at the bottom of your stomach? Does it feel like a heavy weight upon your chest? Is it large? Is it small? Is it a hairy ball that's stuck in your throat? They can't seem to get out of the way. Is it warm? Is it cold? Is it dark? Is it light? Is it sharp? Is it smooth? Really get into what that emotion feels like. What happens when you do that, it teaches you to understand what is really happening versus just assuming you know what is happening. For example, every emotion has a spectrum, but most of the times you won't ever hear anybody talk within the spectrum. A lot of times we hear people speak in the vague. Like, “I'm angry, I'm sad. I'm happy.” Most of the time we don't hear people talk about their emotions in a defined manner. Like, “I'm disheartened, dismayed, displeased, disquieted, edgy, concerned. I feel dejected, detached, or I'm feeling interested, intrigued, invigorated, involved, gratified, hopeful, inquisitive and I’m feeling pleased and pleasant and perky and peaceful, overjoyed enlivened, engrossed, amused, alert, affectionate, adventurous, absorbed, confident, contented, cool, curious, and dazzled, and delighted, eager…” the list goes on and on. Each spot on that spectrum has a different way it feels, but you can't understand the differences and how an emotion feels on the spectrum, if you can't even identify how the base or the overall emotion feels. Physical awareness gives you that skill. It gives you the skill to start to define what's actually happening. Are you actually angry or you just nettled? Are you happy or do you just feel content? These are all important. When you understand what's actually happening on inside, you're able to make better decisions.

Summary

All of these things will help you remove yourself from the road and put you onto the sidewalk. Emotions, they're going to happen. Feelings, they're temporary, but they're going to roll through like those cars and trucks. When you stand at the sidewalk, you can get a good idea about what's coming, and what to expect, and how to best prepare for it, and how to cross the street if we need to. We can't know these things if we don't understand how to slow our physical reaction with breathing, how to slow our mental reaction with grounding, and how to truly identify what is going on the inside. When we do those things, we can make better decisions in life and in our business. Fear is a great example of this. Fear, for most of us, is a big old, scary monster. A lot of times we don't know how to move through it. Through these techniques, you can learn how to identify fear and the different types of fears and know what to expect when they come. Instead of running and hiding, because you’re being eaten up with fear, because you’re standing in the middle of the road getting hit by the cars and trucks, you’ll be able to see the path through. Always take time to really hone in on what's going on inside of you because you are going to know best about what's happening and how to handle it.

Resources:

 

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**Rich in Differences Podcast is not intended to diagnose, prescribe, treat, or cure any disease, physical or mental.

Any advice given on the Rich in Differences Podcast should not be construed as a prescription, a promise of benefits, claims of cures, or a guarantee of results to be achieved.

The information, instruction or advice given by Rich in Differences Podcast is not intended to be a substitute for competent professional medical or psychological diagnosis and care. You should not discontinue or modify any medication presently being taken pursuant to medical advice without obtaining approval from your healthcare professional.

As a listener/reader, you must take complete responsibility for your own physical health and emotional well-being.

 

TRANSCRIPT BELOW

 

Hey, everyone, welcome to Rich in Differences, I'm your hostess with the mostess, Brooke, welcome. This is our first full episode so I'm excited to get started. Actually, this episode is going to be one of three. I figured I would start with a three-part series because these first three episodes are what I teach anybody I coach.

And these three things were taught to my, by my own coaches and therapists. Believe it or not, we coaches, get coached too, all right. So, what I'm going to be talking about in this three-part series is emotional control. I don't believe this is something that is taught to us, in general and as we get older, it really starts to affect our decisions, especially in our business, it affects all of our lives. I don't mean to be like, especially in business, but this is a business podcast. However, that being said, this is totally valid for everyone because our emotions follow us through every aspect of life. If we don't understand how to get a handle on them, then we end up being ridden by our emotions.

So, in this episode, we'll be discussing three techniques to teach you how to gain control of your emotions. Now this will be part one of a three-part series and in this episode, we're going to learn how to get out of the road and onto the sidewalk with your emotions.

All right, imagination time, don't roll your eyes. Most of you are probably driving right now so you have all the time in the world to picture in your mind's eye when I'm about to describe to you. Now, imagine standing in the middle of the road and there are several cars and trucks headed your way. Now these trucks and cars, they represent your emotions, and if you don't know how to get to the sidewalk, then you are in serious trouble. As we usually are with our emotions, we'll let those trucks and cars run us over, leaving us desperate to make any quick decision that will get us out of harm's way, the quickest, even if it isn't the best decision. No one has time for rational thinking while standing in the middle of speeding traffic. Now, I want you to imagine yourself standing on the sidewalk, looking at those passing cars and trucks. It's a different point of view. Notice that the cars and trucks or your emotions have not stopped their travel, they're still going to happen. But now you're observing the traffic instead of being in the middle of it, now you can make better decisions based on that traffic that is passing by.

So, how do you learn how to do that? Next, we're going to be discussing the three techniques that I was taught, is still used today to keep me on the sidewalk and not in the road.

Alright, pop tarts, we're going to be discussing our first technique, breathing. Now, don't roll your eyes, right, because we all know we've all heard breathing, breathe, deep breath, it's all good for you. But sometimes we need a reminder and sometimes we need to actually do it, instead of just saying in our heads “Yeah, we already know this.” Yeah, you already know it, but do you actually do it? So, right now, I want you to make note of how you feel, your physical awareness. How's your heart? Where's your mind at? Do you feel heavy? Do you feel light? Do you feel happy, sad, like, where are you at?

And then I want you to take three deep breaths with me. All right, you ready? Here we go.

In. Out.

In. Out.

One more time, in and out.

Now make note of how you feel. More than likely there is a difference. Even I feel calmer, your heart slows down, maybe your mind quiets a little, maybe your shoulders relax some. Breathing is an amazing technique, and it's best used when you're in the middle of an emotional situation in which you need to gain back control. Deep breathing, you can do it anytime.

And no, you don't have to do 10 deep breaths, I do not do 10 deep breaths and I can't imagine what I would look like if I was in the middle of a heated discussion be like, we got to hold on a second, I need to take 10 deep breaths. I mean, I usually do one to three, usually is one, huge one, if I'm being honest. And that's enough to stop the physical reactions that are happening in me. And that's what deep breathing is good at, it stops the physical response.

So, if you're a woman, more than likely you have this wonderful skill of crying when you are frigging angry. This, this keeps me from crying. When I feel that big old ball of emotion coming up. I take that deep breath and it slows it all down.

The next one is grounding. Now when people hear grounding, they think of, take your shoes off and go stand out in the grass, or go for a long walk in nature. But when you're in the middle of something that's causing you to be emotional, more than likely, you don't got time to take off the shoes and go stand underneath the tree.

Now, that's not to say that those aren't good ideas, but they're not the best ideas when you need something to work now. And these techniques are meant to teach you how to deal with things now. So, what can you do for grounding? Wiggle your toes, and I want you to feel the sensation of your toes wiggling together, and once you've, kind of honed in, on their wiggling, or not really so much the movement but the sensation of them wiggling together, that skin to skin contact. Now, I want you to try to feel for the ground underneath you. Can you feel the solid ground beneath you?

This is a very good way to ground yourself when you don't have time to take a walk. So, sometimes we don't have time to take that walk. So, take a deep breath and then start wiggling some toes.

Grounding is good because it stops the mental reactions. While breathing stops the physical, grounding stops the mental. So, what does that mean? When you start becoming energetic in your head, you start to leave your center, you start to go off into like another place and it's hard for you to concentrate on what's happening now and in a calm manner. If your mind is going 100 miles an hour and floating off into different areas, because you want to be prepared to defend or you're having a bad memory or whatever the case may be. So, grounding takes you from all over the place and brings you back to you again, brings it back to center, brings you back to present. So, it's a wonderful way to come back to yourself and not be drugged around by your emotions.

Next up we will be discussing physical awareness.

Alright, so we just finished discussing grounding, but this last one I bet you've never even thought of. And you're probably thinking I'm crazy, God knows I thought I was crazy when I first did it. Physical awareness is all about learning how to feel your emotions. Now, what does that mean? That means when you are feeling anything, actually describe how it feels. Literally. Does it feel like a hard knot at the bottom of your stomach? Does it feel like a heavy weight upon your chest? Is it large? Is it small? Is it a hairy ball that's stuck in your throat? That can't seem to get out of the way. I know some of you just laughed at that, because God knows I just laughed at that in my head. Is it warm? Is it cold? Is it dark? Is it light? Is it sharp? Is it smooth? Like really get into what that emotion feels like because what happens when you do that, it teaches us to understand what is really happening versus just assuming you know what is happening.

For example, every emotion has a spectrum but most of the times you won't ever hear anybody talk within the spectrum. A lot of times we hear people speak in the vague, so like, I'm angry, I'm sad, I'm happy. Most of the time we don't hear people talk about their emotions in a very defined manner.

Like I'm disheartened, dismayed, displeased, disquieted, edgy, concerned. I feel dejected, detached or I'm feeling interested, intrigued, invigorated, involved, gratified, hopeful, inquisitive and feeling pleased and pleasant and perky and peaceful, overjoyed, enlivened, engrossed, amused, alert, affectionate, adventurous, absorbed, confident, contented, cool, curious and dazzled and delighted, eager, the list goes on and on.

But each spot on that spectrum has a different way it feels, but you can't understand the differences and how an emotion feels on the spectrum if you can't even identify how the base or the overall emotion feels.

Physical awareness gives you that skill. It gives you the skill to start truly identifying what's actually happening. Are you actually angry or are you just nettled? Are you happy or do you just feel content? These are all important. And when you understand what's actually happening on inside, you're able to make better decisions.

So, all of these things will help you remove yourself from the road and put you onto the sidewalk.

Emotions, they're going to happen, feelings, they're temporary, but they're going to roll through like those cars and trucks. But if when you stand at the sidewalk, we can get a good idea about what's coming and what to expect and how to best prepare for it, and how to cross the street if we need to. But we can't know these things if we don't understand how to slow our physical reaction with breathing, how to slow our mental reaction with grounding and how to truly identify what is going on the inside. When we can do those things, we can make better decisions, in life and in our business.

Fear is a great example of this, fear, for most of us is a big old, scary monster. And a lot of times we don't know how to move through it. But through these techniques, you can learn how to identify fear, the different types of fears and know what to expect when they come. I used to be, I would get so nervous about doing anything regarding asking someone who I thought was a mentor, instead of a peer, to help me on something. And I would have these fears of like, “this person is going to think I'm stupid. They're going to hate my idea. Oh, my God, what are they say? No.” And I would talk myself out of it. Like, I'm pretty sure there's a lot of people who do this. I'm not the only one. But when I learned how to use these techniques, I saw fear coming a mile away.

So I needed to ask someone for help regarding one of my programs, and I was hoping that she would be willing to give me some advice, though, she definitely did not have to. And as I sat in the chair waiting to speak to her in her office, I started, I had started to have those thoughts. But then it was interesting.

So, instead of letting those thoughts just sit around in my head, beating me up, it literally was like I had stepped onto a sidewalk. I was like, “Oh, look, there's fear.” Then fear come to say what it needs to say. So I tell fear “You know what fear? I think we got this. I don't think this is going to be the end of the world, and even if they do say no we're going to go ahead and do this.”

And I just went ahead and did it, regardless of the fact that fear had come rolling on through. So, I made a better decision, instead of running and hiding, because I was being eaten up with fear because I was standing in the middle of the road getting hit by the cars and trucks. I was able to say, I see you, but I think I can see the path through, and I think we're going to make it so I'm going to go for it, you know, and I did, and I got the yes.

So, always take the time if you can to really hone in on what's going on inside of you, because you are going to know best about what's happening and how to handle it. In the next part of the series, we're going to be discussing how to take back control of the bus. A lot of times our emotions are the ones driving that bus instead of the bus driver i.e. you. So in the next part of this series, we will be talking about, taking back the bus.

Be sure to subscribe and join our Facebook group, Rich in Differences, where we will collaborate to see what works best for you and your business.

Have any questions you would like to be answered in an episode, be sure to email me or ask in the Facebook group.

Alright, pop tarts. At the end of each episode, I'm going to leave a special message to my dad, my biggest fan. So, here goes “Hey, Dad, call me if you want to go to lunch sometime this week. Love you.”