How You Come Across in Your Physical Delivery - Part Two

Bart queen here, and welcome to the remarkability Institute. Now, if you've been following me over the last couple of weeks or so, we've been focused on this idea of how do you physically come across or what I call your delivery mechanics.

[00:01:42] Your delivery mechanics are just as important as your content, and many times folks will spend hours and hours and hours on crafting content. You've probably done that. Maybe you even spent all day on a Sunday. You didn't spend time with your family. You locked yourself in your home office, maybe even drove to the office, and said, I've got to get this presentation together.

[00:02:05] And you go to the nth degree on what that PowerPoint slide is going to look like, and if you're crunched on time, like the majority of folks, you're doing that kind of twisting and tweaking right up to the very last minute. What just absolutely amazes me. Out of all the years that I've been coaching and helping people is this, they spend hours and hours on making a perfect PowerPoint slide, but they won't spend any time around what does this physical thing, you're you, yourself look like when you're sharing information.

[00:02:46] Remember that I've shared with you many times that what you say and how you say it, guys, has to match. Those two things have to be the same, and when they're not the same, people don't buy into what you're saying. People buy what they see before they buy what they hear. It's got to be congruent. You've seen this many, many times.

[00:03:07] We can see this from our politicians, our world leaders, many times, maybe a government office where they're sharing information, and you go, I just don't believe what they're telling me. Often, that's because what they say and how they say it just doesn't match. You've also heard me say that if I could give this to every 17 and 18 years old, that I would know guys.

[00:03:31] Anytime I have an opportunity to travel internationally, I go overseas. I do my best to find a youth group or a nonprofit that I can give this information to. That's how important I feel like it is. Getting it out to our high school students, I think, is critical. I can sit next to somebody on an airplane, and they'll say, well, Bart, what do you do?

[00:03:54] And I'll come back sometimes, and I'll say, I'm in the confidence business. And they'll say, well, what does that mean? And I'll share with them how this skillset, just this vehicle in helping our young people, gives them the confidence to stand up on their feet, articulate their message, what they're passionate about to get out there and make a difference in whatever they want to do in their world.

[00:04:20] In my years of working with MBA students, one of the schools that I worked with came back, and they had done some type of a small survey, and they found that the students who went through this program went through this confidence-building program, learn to articulate themselves. If they practiced and showed those things during their internship, they received a 10 to 15% higher.

[00:04:45] First-time pay offer than someone who was not giving you. Giving anyone the ability to articulate what they're passionate about, what's important to them to communicate their message is the key competitive advantage that you're looking for. It will set you apart from everybody else. You and I have both heard our ability to communicate verbally, and our ability to communicate from a written perspective are the two things that will set you apart above everybody else.

[00:05:20] But it's the two things we spend the least amount of time with. So as we walked through our program today, guys, as we share our time, I want you to become aware of the number one skill. The number one skill that will separate you from everybody else. What I want you to do is not only learn about it, but I want you as soon as this podcast is over, begin to implement it with your family, with your friends, with your colleagues, with your presentations, with your demonstrations, with your WebExes, with whatever you're doing virtually.

[00:05:55] Now, here's what I'm going to promise that you're going to find. Number one, you are going to be perceived as far more confident. Number two, you're going to find that you're far more articulate in your information because you're focused because of this one skillset. And number three, and in my mind, the most important, and you've heard me say it many times, that you can exponentially grow your ability to influence people.

[00:06:22] Now, if you've been listening to some of my podcasts, I've given you an overview of your posture, the number one skill that communicates confidence before you open your mouth. I gave you some ideas and tips and tricks around movement. Now remember this, the number one reason you move is to raise that level of engagement.

[00:06:40] The question that we're going to look at today is what drives movement, and that's that idea of your eye contact in my mind. In my mind, of all the delivery skills you're going to look at the delivery mechanics, your eye contact is the number one skill you should practice. Guys, forget about posture.

[00:07:01] Forget about movement, forget about gestures. Forget about all those things. Focus just on this one. The simple idea of your eye contact. Now, here's, here's your rule of thumb. It's that simple. It's this easy if you want to come across as knowledgeable if you want to be perceived as a subject matter expert if you want to be able to drive people to take action, if you want to be influential in what you do if you want to connect with people, if any of those things mean anything to you, this one skillset.

[00:07:40] Will be the foundation. It will be the cornerstone. It will be the catalyst that will create that for you. So here's your very simple rule of thumb. Do not speak, do not speak period, unless you're looking at a soft set of eyes. Do not speak unless you're looking at a set of eyes. This will change everything.

[00:08:06] Little children do the best at this. Parents, I want you to think back when your children were, say two to about five or six. Yeah. How many times when you were at your laptop, or you're doing something, you're watching a game. One of your children came up to your side, grabbed your shirt, sleeve, your pant leg, and said, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy.

[00:08:31] I have a question for you as you think about that, as you remember that. When did they stop? They did not stop until you looked at them. Little children are brilliant cause dad, mom; if you're not looking at me, you're not listening. How many times when you were younger did a parent walk up to you and say, young man, young lady, you look at me, what I'm speaking to you.

[00:09:01] They wanted that eye contact when you were a child, or maybe how many times have you said that to your child? Young man, young lady. You look at me when I'm talking to you now, in that situation, most likely you were kind of in trouble. So make an application of a teacher that you admired, whether that was high school or college.

[00:09:24] Think about who did the majority of your teachers talk to. If I thought about that, most of my teachers talk to the chalkboard or the whiteboard as they taught, and I can tell you from my experience that's what I may be picked up my phone. I had a chit chat with a buddy. I looked at something important to me.

[00:09:45] I thought about what I was going to do after I got out of class. It gave me an opportunity to check, just check out. But guys, if you'll think about the teacher that engaged you, t...