Is Limerence Bad? How Marriage Can Often Start With Limerence

Often, clients will tell me that they are sure that they were in limerence with their spouse before they were married. But does that mean that the relationship with their spouse was bad from the beginning? 

If you were in limerence with your spouse when you first entered a relationship together, it doesn't mean it's doomed. Your spouse being in limerence with you or with them is different from being in limerence with an affair partner or limerent object. But we'll talk more about that in a minute.

What Is Limerence?

Limerence is a type of love with identifiable characteristics. We can identify if it is limerence or not by those characteristics. It is important to note that limerence doesn't always occur in every relationship. But when it does, it is a powerful emotion. 

Limerence is a deep longing for an emotional connection with a person that supersedes nearly anything. A person in limerence is willing to sacrifice almost anything to be with this person. Another characteristic that a person in limerence may have is thinking that this person is perfect. Even if the person has identifiable flaws, someone in limerence will explain those flaws away because of the "halo effect." 

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