Marriage Quick Tips: Affairs, Communication, Avoiding Divorce, and Saving Your Marriage artwork

Marriage Quick Tips: Affairs, Communication, Avoiding Divorce, and Saving Your Marriage

53 episodes - English - Latest episode: 2 months ago -

Each week the Marriage Helper team of experts share insight on common (and not so common) marriage pitfalls. We give you research-based advice backed by years of experience that you can implement immediately. Learn how to strengthen your relationships and become the best version of yourself. If you’re ready to make your marriage stronger than ever before, then this podcast is for you. https://www.MarriageHelper.com

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Episodes

Relationship Expert Explains The 4 Pillars Of Attraction

January 14, 2024 17:00 - 12 minutes - 8.93 MB

Explore the "PIES of Attraction" with Kimberly Beam Holmes in this enlightening video. As the CEO of Marriage Helper, Kimberly delves into the four pillars of attraction: Physical, Intellectual, Emotional, and Spiritual. Learn how each aspect contributes to a strong, vibrant relationship with your spouse. She emphasizes the often-overlooked role of intellectual and spiritual attraction, providing practical tips to nurture these areas in your marriage. This video is perfect for couples seekin...

How To Deal With A Toxic Relationship

September 23, 2022 05:00 - 9 minutes - 6.39 MB

If you want to know what a toxic relationship is, or how to deal with it, we’re here to help. We want to give you some guidelines to think about and provide you with truth, hope, and plan going forward. To start, we’ll cover these two questions: 1. What do people say about toxic relationships? 2. What is a toxic relationship clinically?   “Toxic Relationships” are a difficult topic to approach because there are many varying opinions and experiences surrounding it. It seems like everyone ha...

Rejected By My Spouse - Can A Marriage Last Like This?

September 16, 2022 05:00 - 8 minutes - 6 MB

If feeling emotionally or sexually rejected has stolen your joy and made you feel like less of a person, then you're not crazy and you're not alone. You're wanting to try and turn your marriage around, but you don't know how. In this video, Kimberly Holmes (CEO Of Marriage Helper) is going to share with you the next steps that you can take to feel like yourself again. by going through these steps, we hope you find that you DO have worth, you DO have value and you CAN turn your relationsh...

My Spouse Is In Love With Someone Else

September 09, 2022 05:00 - 15 minutes - 10.6 MB

So your spouse said they’re in love with someone else? Here are 3 things you can do to get them to fall in love with you again & restore trust in the relationship. See how to avoid accidentally pushing your spouse further into the arms of this other person, and how you can react in a way that will make them attracted to you instead. Visit marriagehelper.com for more resources that apply to your situation.

Betrayed By My Husband

September 02, 2022 05:00 - 10 minutes - 7.22 MB

You've been betrayed by your husband. Maybe they they hid an addiction from you. Maybe they have been living a lifestyle that you didn't even know about. Or worse, they had an affair with another woman and you just found out about it. It could be that your husband knows that you know, but maybe they don't. You may be contemplating how you plan to approach him about it. But before you do anything, you need to understand a few things. In today's episode of Quick Tips, Kimberly Beam Holmes ta...

3 Tips To Regain Connection When Feeling Alone In Marriage

August 26, 2022 05:00 - 5 minutes - 4.07 MB

It's scary to feel alone. From birth, we are wired for connection. We strive to feel seen, loved and heard. When you first got married, you likely felt as though your partner was your best friend. Over the years, you have drifted apart. What once felt like a deep longing for one another has now turned into a numbness to the relationship. Because of this, you feel more alone now than you did before you got married. Although you may feel like you are completely by yourself in your marriag...

Feeling Neglected By My Husband

August 19, 2022 14:00 - 10 minutes - 7.62 MB

If you feel as though you are no longer a priority in your husbands life, then this is for you. It’s important that we define what type of neglect we are referring to. For this episode, we are talking about being neglected in the form of intimacy, lack of sex, or feeling like you are no longer a priority. If you are being neglected in the form of feeling unsafe, not provided for, not fed, or abused then you need to call the National Domestic Abuse Hotline at this phone number: 800-799-7233 ...

How To Save Your Marriage From Ending

August 12, 2022 05:00 - 6 minutes - 4.31 MB

Your marriage is about to end.  At least, it feels that way. You've desperately searched for answers, but you're worried that anything you do might only make the situation worse. You want things to go back to the way they were before this crisis happened, but you don't know how to get there. It seems like if you don't do something now, that all hope will be lost. Well, we are here to tell you that there IS hope. In today's episode, Kimberly Beam Holmes shares 3 ways to REVERSE the bad thi...

How To Stop Being Jealous In Marriage

August 05, 2022 05:00 - 4 minutes - 3.3 MB

Jealousy happens when we are insecure. It comes from the insecurity about not being good enough, attractive enough, or intelligent enough. And we all know that jealousy is the thief of joy. And it will steal the joy in your marriage, too. Why? Because it keeps you focused on what is not enough, how you are not enough, and how your relationship is not good enough. And if you are struggling with your relationship, then you're not alone. But jealousy will wreak havoc, and it probably already ha...

Marriage Counselor Gave Bad Advice - What Now?

July 29, 2022 05:00 - 6 minutes - 4.7 MB

Not all counselors believe that you should stay married. This statement may surprise you, but you should consider that not all counselors are pro-marriage. And sometimes, they may say something that goes against what you want.  You know this though, because to your shock, your counselor has said that you should divorce. So what now? At Marriage Helper, we still believe that you can save your marriage. Here's what you need to know if your counselor is saying that your marriage is over. Clic...

Lazy Husband And What To Do About It

July 22, 2022 05:00 - 7 minutes - 5.3 MB

"My husband won't do anything. He is so lazy. Everything ends up on my plate, and I’m drowning in responsibility. I can't keep living like this." Does this sound like you? If your spouse seems like they don’t want to do anything or don’t care about anything, it can be hard to know where to start in turning things around. If you're struggling with a husband who doesn't seem to invest in or care about helping you out in your day-to-day relationship, I totally get how frustrating this can be. ...

Not Attracted To My Husband After He Cheated On Me

July 15, 2022 05:00 - 8 minutes - 6.01 MB

I just don't know how to get past what has happened. I can't get the images out of my head of who he has been with and the things that he has done. I've had so many women who have been divorced and even some that are in a second marriage happily married say to me, "I wish I would have made my first marriage work." If you feel like you don't know how to do that, we can help. Does this sound like you? If you are struggling with feeling attracted to your husband after he has cheated on you, t...

Why Men Pull Away In Marriage

July 08, 2022 05:00 - 7 minutes - 5.06 MB

Is your husband pulling away from you, and you don't know why? The one quote you need to remember when trying to understand why your husband is pulling away is that people don't leave what they have unless they believe what they are going to is better. This can mean that it's time to do some self-reflection. What are some reasons why men pull away? Things like work, addictions, stress, experiencing any loss or going through grief, or it could even be another person. So what are the things t...

How To Rebuild Trust In A Relationship

July 01, 2022 05:00 - 10 minutes - 7.41 MB

Have you ever been hurt by somebody that you loved or trusted? The feeling of betrayal might not stem from just one incident, but instead, many different times that your trust was violated where now you don’t feel like you can trust anyone. You might begin to close yourself off because you expect to be hurt. So, how can you rebuild trust in a relationship once it’s lost? As deep as your mistrust might be right now, you can rebuild trust in a relationship. At Marriage Helper, we’ve worked wi...

Signs Of Insecurity In Men And How To Respond To It

June 24, 2022 05:00 - 9 minutes - 6.54 MB

Everyone has insecurities of some sort. Most of the time, they stem from something that happened in childhood or perhaps from a traumatic event that occurred later in life. These insecurities can present themselves in many ways, both emotionally and physically. The American Psychological Association reports that insecurity is multifaceted. It pertains to an overall sense of uncertainty or anxiety about your worth, abilities, skills, and value as a person conveying the message that you're at...

Infatuation Vs. Love

June 17, 2022 05:00 - 8 minutes - 6.11 MB

Have you ever felt the excitement of new love? When love begins, it’s exciting, and you think about the person often. But is this genuine love, or is it infatuation? Infatuation refers to the early stages of a relationship when the adrenaline is pumping and chemicals are produced in your brain that make it exciting and euphoric. But can infatuation truly be a form of love? In the social sciences, we study love in different ways. Many models have been made of the various types of love, and i...

Why Do You Love Someone? Falling In Love Explained

June 10, 2022 05:00 - 5 minutes - 4.12 MB

There's a process to falling in love. At Marriage Helper, we call it the love path. Whether you knew it or not, you followed a process that led you to fall in love with your spouse. There isn't a soulmate that you are waiting to connect with, and it has nothing to do with horoscopes or the alignment of the stars and moon. But why do you love someone? There are four parts of attraction that we have labeled the PIES; physical, intellectual, emotional, and spiritual. The first step of falling ...

Signs Your Wife Doesn't Love You Anymore

June 03, 2022 05:00 - 7 minutes - 5.38 MB

Something has changed in your marriage, but you can’t quite put your finger on it. You’re trying not to panic, but you can’t shake this feeling that your wife doesn’t love you anymore. This can be a terrible feeling, but there is hope. But first, we will share with you the three things to look for if you feel like your wife doesn’t love you anymore. Distance doesn’t always make the heart grow fonder. Having physical or emotional distance in your marriage can be one of the signs that your wi...

How Ultimatums In Relationships Can Either Work For Or Against You

May 27, 2022 05:00 - 9 minutes - 6.27 MB

Has your spouse ever given you an ultimatum? Have you given your spouse one? Not all types of ultimatums can be bad. Your motive behind them is what’s important. Are you trying to control them, or are you trying to protect them or your loved ones from their destructive behavior? An ultimatum says that a specific thing needs to stop or occur in a certain time frame; otherwise, a negative consequence will be the result. People react to demands such as this differently. There are psychological...

Married To A Controlling Wife

May 19, 2022 14:00 - 11 minutes - 7.87 MB

Being controlled by anyone is terrible, but it's especially painful when the person controlling you is your wife.  How can you break free of someone who controls your thoughts, decisions, passions, and hobbies?  At Marriage Helper, we have developed an acronym called PIES to determine your physical, intellectual, emotional, and spiritual wellbeing. Then, we can use that same principle to demonstrate how control manifests in a relationship.  Regardless of its form, no control is good for a...

Husband Looking At Other Women Online & What To Do About It

May 11, 2022 20:00 - 6 minutes - 4.6 MB

What do you do if you find your husband looking at other women online? You should talk to him about it if it's bothering you but the question is "how?" Join Kimberly this week as she walks through the pitfalls that can come from these types of conversations and how to approach it if it's happening in your marriage.  Mentions: Free mini-course: https://your.marriagehelper.com/how-to-get-your-spouse-back-mini-course

Feeling Disrespected In My Relationship

May 06, 2022 05:00 - 9 minutes - 6.63 MB

Most people want out of a marriage, either because they don't feel loved, don't feel liked, or don't feel respected. But what is respect? And how do you show it? In marriage, we tend to feel respected if each of us feels heard, each of us feels lovely and lovable, and each one of us feels like we're part of a partnership. Problems usually arise when one spouse treats the other like a child or tries to control the other.  That's not a partnership. That's not a good marriage. Find out how ...

How To Win Back Your Wife

April 26, 2022 17:00 - 14 minutes - 9.84 MB

Are you and your wife going through a separation or becoming emotionally distant?  Are you wondering how to win your wife back? Men make three common mistakes when they feel that their wife is leaving them. From manipulation to snooping, these mistakes only wind up causing more issues.  So what’s the best option? Make you the best you can be, so it’s harder for her to leave.  Follow along as we break down the areas in your life that can make the most significant impact when you’re trying ...

Gaslighting In A Relationship

April 22, 2022 05:00 - 9 minutes - 6.54 MB

Have you ever, in a relationship, begun to doubt your own mind? You may have experienced gaslighting. In this episode, Dr. Joe Beam explains what is and isn't gaslighting and shares ways you can overcome it. If you're having an issue with communication in your marriage, you may want to work on SMART Contact. You can get started with the SMART Communication eBook. https://your.marriagehelper.com/smart-communication-ebook-sign-up SMART Contact Toolkit - https://marriagehelper.com/produc...

The Difference Between An Emotional Affair And Friendship

April 15, 2022 05:00 - 9 minutes - 6.41 MB

When a married person looks to another most of the time, someone of the opposite sex, to fulfill an emotional need, that is emotional cheating. Going to someone else instead of their spouse and being unwilling to give up that relationship is emotional cheating. At the bottom of it, emotional cheating is when you look to someone other than your spouse to fulfill you in areas that only your spouse should fulfill you.  So, working with the definition that emotional affairs occur when a person ...

I Hate My Wife

April 08, 2022 06:00 - 11 minutes - 7.7 MB

You never thought you'd get to this place. Your bride, your best friend, the woman you fell in love with, has become someone you despise. Does this sound like you?  If you hate your wife and are unsure of what to do about it, you've come to the right place. I'll be talking you through some of the emotions you're probably feeling and giving you three things to do to help you process what to do next in your marriage.  Join our Certified Marriage Helper Coach Nathan as he digs into the three ...

Marriage Separation

April 01, 2022 11:00 - 9 minutes - 6.91 MB

Have you been unhappy in your marriage but not sure if you're ready for divorce? Perhaps you're thinking, "I don't want to live like this, but I'm not sure I'm ready to end this thing. Maybe we need to separate for a while to see if we can figure some things out." Maybe somebody is recommending marriage separation.  If you're considering marriage separation, listen to this episode where Dr. Joe Beam shares some things to consider before choosing to repair or end your marriage.  Mentions: ...

When To Break SMART Contact With Your Spouse

March 22, 2022 04:00 - 8 minutes - 6.12 MB

SMART Contact is one of the pillars of what we teach at Marriage Helper. It helps to reset the communication between you and your spouse. Often, we get so caught up in the business of life or some perceived or real hurt that's come from our spouse that we may forget that we love them and need to talk to them that way.  But how do you break out of the consistent use of the SMART Contact framework? Join our Head Coach  Melody as she talks about when to break SMART Contact. She'll remind us t...

Positive Signs During Separation That Could Mean Reconciliation

March 18, 2022 10:00 - 7 minutes - 5.44 MB

So you're separated, but you don't want to be. What are some positive signs during separation to look for that may indicate you can put your marriage back together?  I was on a podcast recently where we talked about how difficult it can be to put a marriage back together when one spouse wants out. And that is likely where you are right now. You have a spouse who wants out for whatever reason; you're separated, divorcing, whatever it might be. The podcast hosts asked how we at Marriage Help...

Emotionally Exhausted Because Of My Cheating Spouse

March 11, 2022 10:00 - 11 minutes - 7.94 MB

My spouse is cheating. I'm hurting and emotionally exhausted. How can I stop hurting and become emotionally healthy again? In almost every conversation I have with a client, these are the statements I hear. I have so much compassion for these clients because I know all too well how that feels.  If this is where you are emotionally, then this is for you. Some researchers say that finding out your spouse is cheating is worse than experiencing the death of someone you love. The reason is that ...

Emotional Cheating In A Marriage

March 04, 2022 10:00 - 9 minutes - 6.55 MB

What is cheating? Is it still cheating if it never becomes physical? Is there such thing as emotional cheating? The answer is yes.  Emotional cheating is real and probably happens way more than people realize. This episode will teach you what emotional cheating is, how to know if you are emotionally cheating or your spouse is emotionally cheating on you, and what to do about it. I'm also going to tell you how you can access a free guide to understanding more about emotional cheating.  How ...

Is Limerence Bad? How Marriage Can Often Start With Limerence

February 25, 2022 10:00 - 10 minutes - 7.64 MB

Often, clients will tell me that they are sure that they were in limerence with their spouse before they were married. But does that mean that the relationship with their spouse was bad from the beginning?  If you were in limerence with your spouse when you first entered a relationship together, it doesn't mean it's doomed. Your spouse being in limerence with you or with them is different from being in limerence with an affair partner or limerent object. But we'll talk more about that in a ...

How To Tell Your Spouse You Want A Divorce

February 18, 2022 10:00 - 10 minutes - 7.33 MB

Do you want to divorce, but you haven't told your spouse yet? Maybe you're just waiting for the perfect moment to present it to them to where it prevents any more damage to the relationship. Or perhaps you're plotting the best way to throw it in their face because you feel fed up with their actions. You're done with the relationship, and you've likely lost any faith in the marriage coming back together. However, you are not sure how to tell your spouse you want a divorce.  Even though you h...

How To Heal After Being Cheated On

February 11, 2022 10:00 - 7 minutes - 5.58 MB

You're in pain. You just found out your spouse is cheating on you, and you're not sure what to do. In today's episode Director of Coaching, Melody Oseguera is going to share a few tips that will be very beneficial for you to start healing your pain.  When you begin to take steps to heal, you're already improving your situation. If you want more help, we have a free mini-course on how to get your spouse to fall back in love with you. We know you're in pain. We want to encourage you today tha...

How To Save A Marriage On the Brink Of Divorce

February 04, 2022 10:00 - 13 minutes - 9.12 MB

If you are trying to figure out how to save your marriage from the brink of divorce, then this is the information for you.  At Marriage Helper, we have worked with 1000s upon 1000s of marriages to help situations just like yours. The majority of people who come to us are those where their spouse wants out; They want a divorce or have already filed. And we still have an incredible success rate at saving those marriages.  We have a couples workshop with a success rate of over 70% at saving m...

How to Futureproof Your Marriage

January 28, 2022 10:00 - 8 minutes - 5.66 MB

If you want to future-proof your marriage, then this episode is essential. Whether you are newly married, about to get married, or have been married for 20 years, this episode is going to help you know how to stay married.  Now, there are no guarantees. But I will teach you tips today to improve your marriage and have a long-lasting relationship. How do we future-proof your marriage? As I said, there are no guarantees. But if anything works, this will work.  In this episode, you will learn...

Reasons For Divorce

January 21, 2022 10:00 - 9 minutes - 6.66 MB

Why do people divorce? Quite a question, isn't it? So let us walk you through what the research says. When we start talking about divorce, we can speculate all day long. If you ask people on the street, "What do you think is the biggest problem with marriage?" They will say something like communication. But when you start asking them, "What does that mean?" you begin to realize that they're talking about something other than communication.  If you look at the literature out there, you're g...

You Want A Divorce? Listen To This First

January 14, 2022 10:00 - 16 minutes - 11.2 MB

Do this today before filing for a divorce. Has divorce ever crossed your mind or you’ve already broken the news to your spouse? If the answer is yes to any of these questions, watch this video first. Research shows that couples wait an average of 6 years before seeking help for their marriage. Think of that timing in terms of your relationship. How many conversations did you avoid? How many times did you scream without hearing what the other was saying? Is there a time you could have sat do...

Signs Your Husband Doesn’t Love You Anymore

January 07, 2022 10:00 - 5 minutes - 4.15 MB

It’s a painful feeling if you believe your husband doesn’t love you anymore. Many marriages fall into a rut or a hole where intimacy gets lost, and it just doesn’t feel like your husband is paying attention or wants to be around you anymore.  They no longer seem present in your life, and you are simply cohabitating instead of building a lasting and meaningful relationship. If you feel this way in your marriage, stay calm and try not to jump to conclusions.  People change, and so do relatio...

What To Do When An Affair Ends Abruptly

December 31, 2021 10:00 - 10 minutes - 7.46 MB

If you were involved in an affair and it suddenly ended, we know you are feeling a whirlwind of emotions. It feels like you're being torn apart and thinking, "that's it. No one will ever love me like that again." It hurts when the people we love leave us, especially when it comes out of nowhere.  It's even more painful if you've given up the most critical parts of your life to be with this person. Your marriage, your family, or your friends, all because you never felt a love that strongly b...

Understanding The Pain Your Spouse Feels After Cheating On You

December 24, 2021 10:00 - 7 minutes - 5.39 MB

How does your spouse feel after cheating on you? Is it guilt or remorse? Maybe they don't even care. Discovering your spouse has cheated is like being on an emotional roller coaster. You feel like you have no control and no way to understand what went wrong in your relationship altogether. There are many reasons for an affair, something feels off, falling out of love, the absence of affection, and more.  Regardless of the reason, your spouse's affair doesn't mean he's having the time of his...

Can A Relationship Go Back To Normal After Cheating?

December 17, 2021 10:00 - 9 minutes - 6.71 MB

Does a relationship go back to normal after cheating? Is it possible to move past the hurt and deception and go on like it never happened? These are all tough questions, but we have the answers in this video.  Cheating is a significant moment in your life. Cheating changes everything you ever knew or felt about your spouse. How could they do this to me? I thought we were in love? Where did we go wrong? These questions and feelings circulate in your mind over and over with no end in sight. T...

Top 3 Unhappy Marriage Signs

December 10, 2021 10:00 - 12 minutes - 8.52 MB

Signs are all around us, and today we discuss the Top 3 Signs of an Unhappy Marriage. Wouldn't it be great always to know what your spouse is thinking? Imagine how fantastic your marriage would be if you could just read their minds and be ready with solutions to their problems.  As a married partner, sometimes it's hard to tell what your spouse is going through and how they're feeling. There isn't a giant sign or thought bubble floating over them saying, "Hey, something is wrong, or I'm fee...

How To Fix A Broken Marriage

December 03, 2021 10:00 - 11 minutes - 7.66 MB

If your marriage feels broken or like it’s falling apart, stop what you’re doing and watch this video. At Marriage Helper, we dedicate our time and resources to saving marriages and families, and we want yours to last a lifetime. The first thing to remember is, no one is perfect in a marriage. We all make mistakes, and if marriage were easy, being single wouldn’t exist.  Many things contribute to distancing and emotional disconnect from our spouse. Simple things that you wouldn’t believe ca...

Micro-Cheating: What It Is & Why You Should BEWARE

November 26, 2021 10:00 - 13 minutes - 9.27 MB

What is micro-cheating? Micro-cheating is doing something that may open the door to another relationship besides the one you're in, right now. In other words, an activity that we would call inappropriate. You might be saying, well, what do you mean, if I'm being funny with somebody, is that micro-cheating? It may; then again, it may not. Flirting, if you're in a relationship very easily can open a door to another relationship, whether you intend for that to happen or not. In this episode...

Micro-Cheating: What Is Is & Why You Should BEWARE

November 26, 2021 10:00 - 13 minutes - 9.27 MB

What is micro-cheating? Micro-cheating is doing something that may open the door to another relationship besides the one you're in, right now. In other words, an activity that we would call inappropriate. You might be saying, well, what do you mean, if I'm being funny with somebody, is that micro-cheating? It may; then again, it may not. Flirting, if you're in a relationship very easily can open a door to another relationship, whether you intend for that to happen or not. In this episode...

How To Get Your Husband's Attention

November 19, 2021 10:00 - 10 minutes - 7.2 MB

If you are wondering how to get your husband to pay more attention to you, you'll want to listen to this episode to gain more information on ways to draw him closer and get him to start seeing you again.  There is nothing more frustrating than feeling like you are fighting to get your husband’s attention. Sure, you hang out and spend time together but he isn’t really there 100% of the time or his mind seems to be wandering elsewhere. It feels different. You have tried different ways to reac...

How To Get Your Husbands Attention

November 19, 2021 10:00 - 10 minutes - 7.2 MB

If you are wondering how to get your husband to pay more attention to you, you'll want to listen to this episode to gain more information on ways to draw him closer and get him to start seeing you again.  There is nothing more frustrating than feeling like you are fighting to get your husband’s attention. Sure, you hang out and spend time together but he isn’t really there 100% of the time or his mind seems to be wandering elsewhere. It feels different. You have tried different ways to reac...

Difference Between Lust and Love

November 12, 2021 10:00 - 11 minutes - 7.83 MB

Lust—that's a powerful word.  Sometimes people confuse love and lust, and they ask, "Am I in lust or am I in love?" Lust is a desire to mate with an appropriate partner because we are hard-wired to procreate, part of our brains are always looking to make a baby. So the lust part of us is thinking about pleasure, not relationships. Let's look at love. Dr. Sternberg says love has three basic components, intimacy, passion, and commitment. He says lust in the relationship called love is not ju...

Is Marriage Worth It? Choosing Between Marriage & Divorce

November 05, 2021 09:00 - 12 minutes - 8.77 MB

Let's look at the research that shows what the benefits are of marriage. Let's approach this from the data and research perspective. We know from research that married people are more likely to have better health physically and emotionally. They have more robust immune systems, better financial stability, and the earning power of a married couple is well above that of a single couple or couples that live together and aren't married. They also live longer as well as they have drastic decrease...