How to Ask for What You Want

Crash Courses in Communication with Alex Perry

English - September 01, 2022 05:00 - 7 minutes - 7.2 MB
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Asking is awkward. We stumble around our words or avoid asking because sometimes it seems easier to do without. There are times when I say to myself...

"I don't really need help; I can handle this on my own." Then I work twice as hard while being mad about doing it all myself. Or when I want to have a conversation with someone I perceive as having more power than me, I don't ask because I think, "I'll be bothering them." I miss the opportunity to connect and learn. Or sometimes it's as simple as wanting my hubby to take out the trash but not asking because "He's just supposed to know that's what I want."

Can you relate?

Asking can be challenging because it makes us feel vulnerable. It's a hit to the ego, reminding us that we don't know everything, and we need other people to help. Ouch. The good news is that you can get better at asking and get more of what you want. I'll walk through my process.

1. Determine what you want.

Seriously, this is the first step. Do yourself and the other person/people a favor by first figuring out what you need/want.

2. Determine the best person to ask.

In business, this is the person with decision-making power. If you don't know who has the power, ask around first. You'll save yourself time and frustration.

3. Choose the appropriate time and channel.

This is key if you're making a big ask, e.g., a raise, funding for a project, approval for a new hire; you want to do that face to face or voice to voice at a time that makes sense for the other person. Save email, text, and other messaging apps for simple requests.

4. Make the ask.

Muster up your courage and get right to it. Lead with what you need/want. Be ready for questions and let go of the outcome. Sometimes no means not yet.

I can't guarantee you that you'll get what you want if you follow these steps. I can guarantee that the more you practice, the better you'll get. Give these and try and let me know how they work for you. I'm rooting for you.

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