Ultimate Authority

If you've watched the new documentary, Shiny Happy People, then this episode is for you! We talk through the idea of authority and how dangerous it is to teach kids to follow and obey all authority, no matter what.

The idea of authority will always increase the risk of abuse. When we think about how we want our kids to react if they're being abused, including kicking, yelling, biting, sayng no, then we have to help them learn how to react similar ways when they're not being abused.

I will always back my kids up if they feel like they need to challenge someone in authority over them.

Almost all abuse of children is perpetrated by people in authority over them and people they know well. This means kids have to know how to challenge people in authority over them and tell us when something doesn't feel right, no matter who the person is.

When our kids aren't allowed to have an opinion or reaction to a directive being given, they will not be able to learn how to discern what is good or appropriate. This skill has to be taught, and that has to start with challenging our authority and directives as parents.

Parents are squandering the best tool we have to keep kids safe for the sake of obedience. 
Kids have the same ability to feel unsafe around certain people.  Their feelings or uncertainty can come out in lots of different ways - anger, frustration, withdrawal, not wanting to go somewhere, etc. Our job as parents is to listen to them and help them learn to listen to their system and give them control over themselves in those situations.

When it comes to things kids can't communicate clearly, we need to trust their systems and believe they know what is best for them in those moments.

I regularly think about not disrespecting my kids, just like I don't want them to disrespect me. 

Parents would die to keep kids safe; but would you let them tell you 'no'?

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