Page 69
168 episodes - English - Latest episode: over 2 years ago - ★★★★★ - 89 ratingsComedian best friends open a book they've never read and start reading at page 69 and goof on it.
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Episodes
Post 100: Fifty Shades Freed: We Tell You Our Addresses So You Can Sex Us
October 28, 2021 12:00 - 34 minutes - 30.2 MBThe steamy Fifty Shades trilogy ends and we've learned nothing.
100TH EPISODE! Fifty Shades Freed: Hours and Hours of Moments
October 25, 2021 12:00 - 1 hour - 104 MBHoly crap, billionaires. We did it. 100 episodes of the podcast. To celebrate, we finally finish the Fifty Shades series. We outlived Fifty Shades! And were more successful! Riffs include dick stickers, Bugs Bunny's indecent proposal, the impression bot, judo championship, the best way to end a book series, burning down buildings, get out of jail free cards, and dreams. Thanks for 100 episodes everyone.
Post 99: Bonfire of the Vanities: Steal Everything from Target
October 07, 2021 12:00 - 33 minutes - 28.9 MBI'll be honest, I don't remember what this one is about. I slept till basically 8pm today
99: Bonfire of the Vanities-The Lost Episode of Page 69
October 05, 2021 10:00 - 1 hour - 72.6 MBWow, what an episode. The famous lost episode. We call it that because we almost gave up during recording three times. But we didn't cause it's great and so are we
Post 98: Marley and Me: Folks, the Dog is Real
September 30, 2021 12:00 - 24 minutes - 21.3 MBPlus we learn about celebrities!
98: Marley and Me: More Like Cujo and Me Lol
September 27, 2021 12:00 - 1 hour - 66.6 MBBen and CJ read Marley and Me! A book about a dog and some other crap, probably. This episode rules and we're back from a wedding, CJ's wedding, in fact! Also features one of our best opening bits ever. You'll love it!
Post 97: Shutter Island: How to Kill a Goose
September 02, 2021 12:00 - 41 minutes - 37 MBYou ever want to know how to kill a goose? This is the podcast for you
97: Shutter Island: Hooters on Ice
August 30, 2021 12:00 - 1 hour - 70.4 MBThe billionaires read Shutter Island, the only book that ever became a movie!
Post 96: We Learn about Guinea Pigs! Like, we actually learn this time
August 26, 2021 12:00 - 40 minutes - 35.7 MBThey're interesting little pigs! Yet they're not actually pigs??
96: Guinea Pigs by Animal Planet: How to Raise a Guinea Pig (for food and pleasure)
August 23, 2021 12:00 - 1 hour - 73.7 MBIt's a goofy book episode! We read the book they give children about how to raise guinea pigs. It's honestly a great time
Post 95: Alex Cross by James Patterson: 700 Million Dollar Man
August 19, 2021 12:00 - 32 minutes - 28.8 MBI'm still baked, alright? I upload in batches. If I'm being honest? I'm higher than when I uploaded the Monday episode. But we learn a lot of fun stuff and fill in some informational holes.
95: Alex Cross by James Patterson-Is this for Uncles or Moms or Grandmas?
August 16, 2021 12:00 - 1 hour - 78.3 MBI'm posting this very high and I'm too cooked to write the description but this is a great episode
Post 94: The Soloist-George Lopez Never Would Have Let This Happen
August 12, 2021 12:00 - 34 minutes - 30.9 MBWe learn about the Soloist! A book so good it doesn't even have a wikipedia page. Amazing stuff.
94: The Soloist by Steve Lopez-About A Guy who Hates the Homeless
August 09, 2021 12:00 - 1 hour - 56.3 MBWe're back! With a more regular release schedule? Or do we just release on a cool Death Grips schedule? You'll find out! We read the Soloist! About a man who hates the homeless.
Blast From the Past: Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert
July 26, 2021 12:00 - 1 hour - 76 MBBen is sick! We couldn't record this week. But we can still y'all with a favorite episode. Check out one of our all time classic eps, Eat Pray Love!
Post 93: Lake Wobegon Days: Ok, he's cancelled. Everyone is cancelled.
July 15, 2021 12:00 - 32 minutes - 28.8 MBI mean, of course
93: Lake Wobegon Days by Garrison Keillor: The Best Literature We've Read on the Podcast
July 12, 2021 12:00 - 1 hour - 62.3 MBNo spoilers but this is a banger
Post 69: Nicholas Sparks The Longest Ride: Cowboy Says What?
July 01, 2021 12:00 - 36 minutes - 31 MBThe billionaires learn more about the cowboy book by the romance guy
92: The Longest Ride by Nicholas Sparks: Obama and A Futuristic Game Show
June 28, 2021 08:44 - 1 hour - 75.8 MBNicholas Sparks cowboy novel. Absolutely sick episode, folks. Really great stuff. Just listen.
POST 91: A Clear and Present Danger: Reagan is at it Again
June 24, 2021 12:00 - 41 minutes - 36.4 MBRonald Wilson Reagan. Spies. Tom Clancy. Wikipedia. Get into it.
91: A Clear and Present Danger-Tom Clancy: A Guy Who Sweats Gatorade
June 22, 2021 05:35 - 1 hour - 82.6 MBThis one is a great one. No spoilers. Just listen
POST 90: My Life by Bill Clinton" An Autobiography is Just a Long Wikipedia Article
June 17, 2021 12:00 - 38 minutes - 34 MBWe learn about Bill Clinton's life. And you'll be shocked at what we discover if you weren't born in the 90s.
90: My Life by Bill Clinton: Every Thought Bill Clinton has Ever Had.
June 14, 2021 12:00 - 1 hour - 83.1 MBBen and CJ read Bill Clinton's long ass autobiography! Simple country lawyers, yawn with us!, buckets of beers, old men in the locker room, red Slimer, and the Olympics
POST 89: Kidnapped by Robert Louis Stevenson: The Reason Pirates Talk Funny
June 10, 2021 12:00 - 25 minutes - 23 MBTime for the internet! The billionaires get into wikipedia and learn about pirates and shit
89: Kidnapped by Robert Louis Stevenson: Mike's Hard Molotov Cocktails
June 07, 2021 12:00 - 1 hour - 78.4 MBCJ and Ben read a book by the author of Treasure Island and Dr Jekyl and Mr Hyde! It's a pirate adventure! We talk dangerous public pools, getting punched by a goon, the muppets trapped in an IKEA, Mike's Hard Molotov Cocktails, mall wars, drunken arguments, yo-yos aren't cool but they're not not cool, eskimo kiss of death, spitting sunflower seeds, and nobody likes tennis.
POST 69: Oliver Twist: Big Dick Dickens
June 03, 2021 12:00 - 48 minutes - 41.7 MBLearning! Recorded early in the morning and the riffs are HOT! Get into it. Learn about Charles Dickens, who was English
88: Oliver Twist by Dickens: Oliver Twist was the first Stewart Little
May 31, 2021 12:00 - 1 hour - 75.5 MBThe billionaires read Oliver Twist! By big dick Dickens. We talk redistributing height, JFK is Stewart Little, racism is hack, yogurt names we shouldn't try to pronounce, why do British people talk so funny?, Ketamine, big green, 7/11 water is full of teeth, and we consider truing crack.
POST 69: Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter: Is Drew Carey the Cure for Depression?
May 27, 2021 12:00 - 36 minutes - 31.3 MBWe think he might be!
87: Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter: Better than it has any right to be
May 24, 2021 12:00 - 1 hour - 74.6 MBBen and CJ read "Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter". It's surprising, in a positive way! We talk fast food eggs, perforated buttholes, chewing pennies, the alt-right fitness culture pipeline, how to write a screenplay, the people's history of the united states, UFO encounters, Elon Musk sucks, the gay agenda, diversity in advertising, punting squirrels, and will it float?
POST 69: Why Do Men Have Nipples?: CJ's Adventures in Italy
May 20, 2021 12:00 - 40 minutes - 39.9 MBWe learn! And more importantly, CJ tells good stories about a trip to Italy (the birthplace of yelling).
86: Why Do Men Have Nipples? : Twitter for the Amish
May 17, 2021 12:00 - 1 hour - 76.6 MBBen and CJ read Why Do Men Have Nipples? It's basically fun fact tweets! We talk about how pig pen was the poor kid, voting for people who do good impressions, agoraphobes who like to fist fight, single guys hanging out at bus stops, Fred Flintstone gets therapy, that guy with long ass fingernails can't text, Ben gets acupuncture, CJ is scared of acupuncture, TikTokers who don't think Hellen Keller is real, CJ's disembodied and freezing cold arm, diarrhea bite stick, Reagan kills Droopy Dog,...
POST 69: King Lear: WW2 is why Italians are like that
May 13, 2021 12:00 - 50 minutes - 51.7 MBWe get on our phones, not for jerkin it, but for learning! We learn about King Lear, just in time for Sparknotes season! Also we learn about cool ass fools and clowns.
85: King Lear by Shakespeare: A Play About Ronald Reagan and The Devil
May 10, 2021 12:00 - 1 hour - 94.2 MBCJ and Ben read King Lear by Shakespeare! Pretty good book, great episode We talk Epic Meal Time ruined bacon, the difference between improv and stand up, we turn the lights on in the room, time travel to save JFK, we talk to Tony the Chatty Real Estate Agent, Lexapro can be really good for you, Ronald Reagan hangs out with the devil, lots of music talk, then we finally talk about King Lear, Mel Gibson, and Cunt: Pig in the City
POST 69: Busting Vegas-Learning How to Count Cards, Sort Of
May 06, 2021 12:00 - 53 minutes - 53.7 MBA follow up to the podcast episode from earlier in the week! You know how it works! We learn about Ben Mezrich, who is a pretty good author. He wrote that movie 21, basically!
84: Busting Vegas: Using Math for Stealing
May 03, 2021 12:00 - 1 hour - 70.1 MBBen and CJ read "Busting Vegas" by Ben Mezrich! Stellar episode about gambling. Topic include dollar sign "S", Uncle Ben dunking on Spiderman, we're the brothers from Oceans 11, Yosemite's law of safe compression, a drag queen dressed as a nun named "Friend of Mary", president Biden is banning menthol cigarettes, witchy girls smoking herbal splifs, Igor BuyAVowelOvitch, Emporer's New Groove, Jimmy John's hostage situation, and a sit in at a zoo.
POST 69: F*** Glenn Beck, we read about Duck Tales
April 29, 2021 12:00 - 48 minutes - 50.4 MBThis is the duck episode. We were supposed to read about Glenn Beck but honestly he sucks, so we learn about Duck Tales. It's actually fascinating!
83: Conform By Glenn Beck: Glenn Beck Sucks
April 26, 2021 12:00 - 1 hour - 91.7 MBCJ and Ben read Glenn Beck's "Conform"! Glenn Beck has bad opinions, expressed badly. We talk a lot and learn very little. Ben can't do math! Nobody can! We talk Ponce De Leon, elitist democrats, homeschooling, we both storm off, bullying stories, fun with wheelchairs, Ben Franklin runs bit, P.O.D., and fuck that Louis! You love it
POST 69: Dear John by Nicholas Sparks: Watch the Movie, Don't Read the Book
April 22, 2021 12:00 - 37 minutes - 38.8 MBThe billionaires learn more about Nicholas Sparks red headed stepchild of a book! We outline the plot, so spoiler alert. Also Nicholas Sparks is a dang freak
82: "Dear John" by Nicholas Sparks: A Lifetime Movie Written by an AR 15
April 19, 2021 12:00 - 1 hour - 88.3 MBCJ and Ben read "Dear John" by Nicholas Sparks! It's a great episode! Nicholas Sparks might be very mentally ill, though. We talk about a lot of president stuff, what Ben loves about Schindler's List, CIA funded movies, where were the psychics on 9/10?, Juggalo book club, Yogi Bear and Boo Boo huff paint, Ben needs a vice, fav parts of college, poisoning crows, and a bucket of shrimp comes up a lot! You love it!
POST 69: Bleachers by John Grisham: A Parrot Painted Black is Basically a Penguin
April 15, 2021 12:00 - 49 minutes - 51.5 MBThe billionaires learn more about Bleachers by John Grisham! Wikipedia has all the answers, per usual. Turns out the legal guy wrote a football book!
81: Bleachers by John Grisham: Sports Guy Has Dad Issues
April 12, 2021 12:00 - 1 hour - 86.7 MBCJ and Ben read "Bleachers" by John Grisham, a book about a football player who goes to bury his coach. Written by the guy who usually does legal dramas! First time we saw weed, cheating in high school, CJ has to take his driver's test, don't talk to me till I've had my Oxy, Princess Diana playing Basketball, a fucked up radio show in a hardware store, giant real estate, and dog nut fingers
POST 69: Fast Food Nation: Literally All of the Food is Poison
April 08, 2021 12:00 - 46 minutes - 48.9 MBThe billionaires get down, dirty, and dives (Guy Fieri reference, LOOK IT UP) and learn even more about Fast Food Nation! Sometimes we learn too much and fly too close to the sun but that's the price you pay for great podcasting.
80: Fast Food Nation: Food Court of Law
April 05, 2021 12:00 - 1 hour - 84 MBBen and CJ read "Fast Food Nation"! It's education but daunting! Super fun episode! We talk about Yogi Beat, The Great Emu War, Flamingos with Cankles, Camel Toe is coming back, Schizophrenics and the Matrix, Michael Jordan's Hitler 'stache, homeless Meow Wolf, hot dogs are asses and beaks Ketchup as lube.
POST 69: What to Expect When You're Expecting: Best Seller of the Year Every Year
April 01, 2021 12:00 - 58 minutes - 60.9 MBThe billionaires deep dive into What to Expect When You're Expecting! So hire them for your next live birth. We learn so much!
79: What to Expect When You're Expecting: Drugs are bad for babies
March 29, 2021 12:00 - 1 hour - 93.9 MBCJ and Ben read the baby book! If you're pregnant this episode might be helpful! It's very good and fun. Topics include: twins, bees, adopting an adult, the circus, jugglers that hang out outside a Denny's, babies who are into jazz, pigs pooping spiders, and Tom Selleck's pussy eating moustache
POST 69: George Carlin's "Last Words": Monster Trucks and Private Planes
March 25, 2021 12:00 - 42 minutes - 43.6 MBThe billionaires dive in and learn about George Carlin's life! He did like, a lot of shit!! Jump in and learn with us
78: George Carlin's "Last Words": The Seven Words You MUST Say on TV
March 22, 2021 12:00 - 1 hour - 84 MBBen and CJ read "Last Words" by George Carlin. The autobiography that Carlin wrote from beyond the grave! Topics include The seven words you must say on TV, the best places to die, we invent the Screamophone, moving furniture mixed with boxing, the word seminal, hotel room hot tubs, Pepsi vs Coke, Schrodinger's high school, and we buy off a politican! Very fun time!
Post 69: Taming of the Shrew- Sparknotes for people who drink too much
March 18, 2021 12:00 - 50 minutes - 43.6 MBIt's the post show review show walking talking dead show about our own show, show! We're still snowed it! Zoom episode! We talk stories, we learn about why every character's name ends in "io", and we learn about street urchins, and Shakespearean innuendos and words. Good fun!
77: Taming of the Shrew by Shakespeare-Italians doing conflict and misogyny
March 15, 2021 12:00 - 1 hour - 72.1 MBA special episode recorded on Zoom because of a crazy ass snowstorm! CJ and Ben read "Taming of the Shrew" by Shakespeare starting on page 69! We talk Madea Ends Hannukah, Calvin and Hobbes, annotated notes, Italian lawyers, Italian Minions, how short Vin Diesel is, and chimpanzees with no hair. A lot of Italian stuff, tbh. But it makes sense cause the play happens in Italy
POST 69: "Hocus Pocus" by Kurt Vonnegut: A Round-Up of Every Character from the Podcast's History
March 11, 2021 13:00 - 50 minutes - 50.5 MBWikipedia! We're surfing it! We learn so much about the world! Eugene Debs! Kurt Vonnegut! Articles that have issues. You're gonna love it!