Overcoming Betrayal & Addiction
174 episodes - English - Latest episode: 5 months ago -The Overcoming Betrayal and Addiction podcast, featuring Dr. Rob Weiss and Tami VerHelst, presents a conversational Q&A style discussion drawn from listener questions about sex and porn addictions, infidelity, cheating, and hard work required to heal relationship betrayal. Dr. Rob and Tami are very good at engaging people struggling with painful life issues in a useful, respectful way. They also invite you to join them on their live weekly webinar (Mondays, 5 p.m. Pacific at https://bit.ly/DrRobandTami), where they answer questions live Dr. Rob is Chief Clinical Officer for Seeking integrity Treatment Centers. He is a 30-year licensed therapist, a PhD sexologist, and author Sex Addiction 101, Prodependence, and Out of the Doghouse, among other books. Tami is Chief Relationships Officer for Seeking Integrity LLC. Tami brings over 40 years of personal addiction knowledge, helping supply struggling individuals and couples with the resources and direction they need to heal.
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Episodes
I Am Married to an Addict and I Don’t Want to Break Up My Family
December 14, 2023 17:01 - 35 minutes - 81 MBDr. Rob and Tami talk about a young mother of two who is struggling to deal with her acting out and abusive husband. She doesn’t want to break up the family and she’s scared for her future, but Dr. Rob and Tami offer a beacon of hope in what should be some of her next steps. TAKEAWAYS: [1:05] After a betrayal, when does it make sense to have sexual intimacy again? [9:35] He’s blaming me for his addiction and he’s relapsed. I don’t want to break up the family, so what should I do? ...
He Betrayed Me And Yet Believes All The Flirting He Does Is Completely Innocent!
December 07, 2023 19:53 - 35 minutes - 80.5 MBDr. Rob and Tami talk about how an addict might be skirting the boundaries with his betrayed wife. Is flirtation seen as an active addiction, especially when the addict does it when his wife’s not around? The 1# thing addicts love is attention and/or admiration. So, they might be a little sneaky in how they get their fix. TAKEAWAYS: [:25] She says I ruined her life. Can I salvage this relationship? [7:45] I don’t have a lot of money. Why is a CSAT necessary for my recovery? [14:4...
He Feels So Uncomfortable In Recovery. Will It Get Better?
November 30, 2023 18:09 - 26 minutes - 60.3 MBDr. Rob and Tami talk about why someone might feel uncomfortable in recovery. A betrayed spouse was asked by her addict to join a couple’s support group, but after all the positive praise she was getting, he told to stop going. Dr. Rob and Tami break down how couple’s support groups can be a life-changing and positive experience for couples, but only if they embrace the not-so-comfortable parts of it. TAKEAWAYS: [1:15] My addict asked me to join a couple’s support group, but after h...
I Have a Restraining Order. Is There Any Hope He’ll Ever Stop Using?
November 23, 2023 05:00 - 22 minutes - 51.6 MBDr. Rob and Tami answer a question from a betrayed spouse in her 50s. She has been a stay-at-home mother for 23 years and is having a tough time reconciling the ending of the relationship with her violent addict. Is the relationship really over despite a temporary restraining order? Can this be salvaged? Dr. Rob and Tami weigh in their thoughts during this horrible time. TAKEAWAYS: [:25] How do I apologize to my children for being a bad parent? [2:45] How do you define recovery? ...
The Separate Journeys of Couples in Recovery
November 21, 2023 18:02 - 30 minutes - 69.6 MBDr. Rob and Tami answer listener questions about getting back together in sobriety, support for the betrayed wife, getting to know each other in recovery, taking your recovery seriously, and not asking forgiveness but making amends. Every lie resets the relationship to the beginning of betrayal. When is the right time for couples therapy? TAKEAWAYS: [:23] My SA husband’s one-year sobriety date is today. It’s also my one-year discovery date. He is in recovery. Where are couples at the...
Am I Just Having Fun, or Is This a Full-Blown Addiction?
November 08, 2023 05:00 - 31 minutes - 72.8 MBDr. Rob and Tami break down the gray area between just having fun, being “at-risk” for an addiction, and being a full-blown addict. It can be difficult to define the line fully when you’re in the middle of a “good time.” Dr. Rob offers various considerations for you to think about to determine whether you’re barely teetering the line or if you’re in a bad and unsustainable place. TAKEAWAYS: [:35] I believe my partner is a narcissist and a sex addict. He’s hurting me but I can’t seem ...
My Wife Has a Pattern of Infidelity, but I Love Her
November 03, 2023 16:58 - 26 minutes - 61.4 MBDr. Rob and Tami answer a question from a betrayed partner about his wife’s recurring infidelity. What first begins as innocent text messages with a stranger quickly turn sexual for her. It’s a pattern that has repeated over and over. As he is trying to save the relationship, he wonders if this is all due to her traumatic and awful past where she was a victim of sexual abuse as a child. Dr. Rob clarifies on what might be going on with a female sex addict. TAKEAWAYS: [:35] My wife go...
She Cheated on Me! And Yet, I’m the One in Recovery?
October 26, 2023 04:00 - 32 minutes - 74.4 MBDr. Rob and Tami answer a question from an addict who has also been betrayed by his spouse. They have both hurt each other with their addictions/infidelities, however, it seems unfair that he’s in treatment for his demons and she is running around scot-free. Dr. Rob and Tami explain how you can move forward and focus on your own recovery despite experiencing a betrayal from your partner. TAKEAWAYS: [:45] I’m absolutely DONE with my addict. I can’t move out yet, so what can I do for m...
Why Should I Write Down All My Anger and Hurt?
October 20, 2023 18:50 - 31 minutes - 72.2 MBDr. Rob and Tami talk about the healing properties a journal practice can have. A listener wrote that her therapist wants her to journal out the resentment and anger that her SA has caused her, but the mere thought of doing this gets her re-triggered and angry all over again. Is there really a point to all of this aside from re-remembering the betrayal? TAKEAWAYS: [:25] My SA husband’s entire family has suffered from some sort of sexual addiction or abuse. Is all of this hereditary?...
Can Harm Reduction Be Considered Sober?
October 11, 2023 04:00 - 28 minutes - 65.9 MBDr. Rob and Tami talk about whether it makes sense for an addict to be put on a harm reduction treatment for sex addiction. A listener writes in wondering if he should completely stop or if reducing the impact and damage through harm reduction is a good starting point. Dr. Rob sets the record straight on what he thinks about harm reduction and honesty. TAKEAWAYS: [:45] My partner admitted he’s a liar and a cheater, but will not admit he’s an addict. He doesn’t “relate” to it. Will he...
I Really Want to Change but My Empathy is Broken
October 10, 2023 19:50 - 33 minutes - 75.6 MBDr. Rob and Tami answer a question from a listener who is struggling to be a more empathetic person to their partner. Despite his best efforts, he can’t seem to be present and emotionally available for her. Is this because he has ADHD? Is he just broken? How can he fix this? Dr. Rob and Tami offer a more detailed insight into what might actually be going on. TAKEAWAYS: [:25] How do I build trust with myself again to pick better after dating a sex addict? [2:35] Date them long enoug...
He Is Super Jealous Despite Being the One Who Cheated on Me!
September 28, 2023 21:53 - 27 minutes - 63.6 MBDr. Rob and Tami talk about what to do when your addict is incredibly jealous when you have friends of the opposite sex. It seems very hypocritical when they’re the ones who caused harm and cheated in the first place. Dr. Rob and Tami talk about how to set healthy boundaries with someone who is out-of-their-mind jealous. TAKEAWAYS: [:35] How do I believe my addict is being honest without a polygraph? [6:25] My boyfriend is obsessed with his niece. Very touchy with her. This seems v...
The 12-Steps Just Don’t Work For Me. I Just Don’t Fit In
September 22, 2023 17:17 - 31 minutes - 72.6 MBDr. Rob and Tami discuss what an addict can do if the 12-step program just isn’t for them. Should they stop going? Should they keep white-knuckling it? Tami offers resources for those who feel very out of place at these particular meetings. When it comes to recovery, getting the help you need and doing so correctly is the most important step in the process. TAKEAWAYS: [:35] I noticed my SA and other SA men do not have healthy male friendships. Is this normal? [4:15] If these unheal...
What Are the Triggers of a Midlife Addiction?
September 14, 2023 04:00 - 29 minutes - 67.3 MBDr. Rob and Tami discuss why someone would “suddenly” become an addict in their mid-40s. Sometimes, there were no inklings that this person was even an addict in the first place, but how true is that? Dr. Rob breaks down why someone might become an addict out of the blue in this week’s episode. TAKEAWAYS: [:35] My husband has nocturnal emissions. Is this normal or is he just lying? [8:05] My husband left some things out in formal disclosure. His therapist doesn’t think these detail...
Am I Ready to Date Again as a Sex Addict?
September 07, 2023 16:58 - 29 minutes - 66.9 MBDr. Rob and Tami dive into when it makes sense for someone to date again after being sober and in recovery from sex, love, or porn addiction. This can be tricky for some professionals to determine, but Dr. Rob and Tami walk through some of the questions you need to ask yourself before you take that next step in the relationship. Remember, the goal isn’t to have sex in the dating process, it’s to get to know that person. TAKEAWAYS: [:35] How do I know if someone in recovery is ready ...
He Blames Me for All of His Affairs. What?!
August 31, 2023 04:00 - 29 minutes - 67.4 MBDr. Rob and Tami answer a question from a betrayed spouse whose sex addict husband isn’t doing the work. He says that he won’t act out anymore because she’s “fixed” after all the therapy she’s doing. What kind of logic is this? Dr. Rob calls out this deflection behavior and wants every betrayed spouse to remember three important and critical things about themselves. TAKEAWAYS: [:35] My husband says he’ll kill himself before he’ll act out again. Not sure what to make out of this? Shou...
My 9-Year-Old Daughter Found Out About His Affairs and Now She’s Self-Harming
August 28, 2023 06:01 - 25 minutes - 58.7 MBDr. Rob and Tami answer a question from a distraught mother who has no idea how to work through her daughter’s feelings and emotions about her father’s sexual betrayal. Despite the young daughter going to a therapist, the mother is receiving news from him that she should be 100% honest with her daughter about what’s happening in the household. Dr. Rob weighs in on how this isn’t healthy or good advice, and how to best approach this instead. TAKEAWAYS: [:45] My 9-year-old daughter fou...
No! You Ruined My Life and I Hate You!
August 10, 2023 04:00 - 32 minutes - 73.8 MBDr. Rob and Tami talk about how a betrayed spouse can work towards forgiving their partner who is suffering from sex addiction or other related issues. Many addicts fail to understand why it takes their spouse so long to recover from their betrayal. Dr. Rob explains from a betrayed spouse’s point of view how, and when, to move forward. TAKEAWAYS: [:35] What’s the difference between chronic cheating vs. being a sex addict? [3:55] It’s easy for SA to justify their poor behaviors. [...
I’m Sober But I Still Get Turned On by My Own Body
August 03, 2023 18:05 - 34 minutes - 79.6 MBDr. Rob and Tami discuss whether a listener is truly living a sober life. The listener asked if it’s okay to masturbate to pictures of their own body now that they’re sober from porn. Dr. Rob weighs in on his interesting thoughts on the matter. Dr. Rob also answers questions about when is a good time to initiate intimacy with a SA, and much more. TAKEAWAYS: [:45] My addict is doing “borderline” sketchy behavior but hasn’t actually done anything or crossed a line. Should I be mad? [...
She Hates My Past. How Can I Support Her?
July 28, 2023 17:02 - 30 minutes - 70.8 MBDr. Rob and Tami offer advice from a husband who has betrayed his spouse. Although he’s been sober for 22 months now, his wife still feels so hurt by his past actions. He automatically wants to be on the defensive when she’s upset, but can’t. What are some of the best ways he can comfort his wife? Dr. Rob and Tami share different approaches to help this couple move forward and toward healing. TAKEAWAYS: [:25] My spouse and I each have our own therapists. Does it ever make sense for u...
I’m Not Ready to Tell My Spouse I’m an Addict
July 21, 2023 16:00 - 33 minutes - 75.9 MBDr. Rob and Tami answer a question from someone who is “white knuckling” their recovery. They’re not leveraging their resources to the fullest because their recovery and journey to sobriety are still in secret. Dr. Rob and Tami explain why this isn’t considered a healthy path to long-term recovery, despite being sober. TAKEAWAYS: [:50] I really feel like his recovery journey is too good to be true. Is he really progressing, or is it all still a lie? [9:45] I am 100 days sober, but ...
My Husband Publicly Exposes Himself for Fun
July 13, 2023 04:00 - 29 minutes - 68.5 MBDr. Rob and Tami talk about sex offenders in this week’s episode and how to work with someone who exposes themselves to people non-consensually. The listener admits that her husband has been exposing himself in public parks for a number of years and is concerned that there is no hope for this person in recovery. Dr. Rob and Tami talk about how you begin to work a recovery program as a sex offender. TAKEAWAYS: [:50] Will my spouse unlearn his toxic masculinity while in recovery? [4...
Why Is My Addict Such a Liar?!
July 06, 2023 04:00 - 27 minutes - 62.1 MBDr. Rob and Tami talk about compulsive liars in this week’s episode and the reasoning behind someone who can’t seem to tell the truth. If you are a betrayed spouse to someone who regularly lies and deceives, it can be hard to understand why lying can be the go-to safety mechanism for protection. Dr. Rob explains further in this episode why some addicts just can’t stop lying. TAKEAWAYS: [:30] Why is sex addiction not about sex? [3:35] I had a relapse and my partner is fed up. I want...
He Just Doesn’t Care About Sobriety. Can An Addict Ever Recover?
June 29, 2023 04:00 - 29 minutes - 66.9 MBDr. Rob and Tami discuss if it’s possible for an addict to get better when he/she shows all the signs of not putting in the work. Will this person ever wake up to the reality of the pain that they’re causing friends and family? And if not, what can the partner do to protect themself from this situation? Dr. Rob and Tami answer all of this and more. TAKEAWAYS: [:30] I’m on my last hope with my partner. Will he ever get sober? [5:35] The path to recovery is bumpy, but so worth it. ...
Can My Children Inherit This Addiction Disease?
June 22, 2023 18:25 - 29 minutes - 67.4 MBDr. Rob and Tami talk about whether your children can become addicts if there’s been generational evidence that addiction and disorders run in the family lineage. The listener also asks if it makes sense to Dr. Rob and Tami to disclose their spouse’s addiction to their grown children to warn them about this disease being hereditary. This can be a bit of a complicated question to answer, but Dr. Rob and Tami do a deep dive into ways to approach this subject. TAKEAWAYS: [:30] I want to...
If They Really Knew Who I Am, They Would Leave Me
June 15, 2023 04:00 - 34 minutes - 77.9 MBDr. Rob and Tami answer a question on whether you can become “cured” of narcissism. Narcissism is very common among addicts, especially early in recovery. It’s important to note that there is a path forward to becoming a more empathic person, but there is a specific process to work through to achieve it. In this week’s episode, Dr. Rob and Tami explain that narcissism is often born from deep insecurity and offer important reasons why you should stay sober. TAKEAWAYS: [:30] I think I’...
How to Set Healthy Boundaries with Your Addict
June 08, 2023 04:00 - 29 minutes - 67.4 MBDr. Rob and Tami answer questions from listeners about setting healthy boundaries and what that might look like. You should never feel compelled to do something just to appease the other person, especially if they’re on a path to recovery. When you set a boundary, it’s not for them, it’s a way to take care and protect yourself. Dr. Rob and Tmai explain more in this week’s episode. TAKEAWAYS: [1:00] I want to help my addict hear, but I don’t know how. What can I do to support him? [...
Can You Cure Narcissism?
June 01, 2023 16:38 - 34 minutes - 78.3 MBDr. Rob and Tami answer a question from an addict that is struggling with their own narcissism. Can this condition truly be cured? In this episode, Dr. Rob and Tami explain what a narcissist is and why so many people in recovery have narcissistic traits and qualities. TAKEAWAYS: [:45] How do you work with narcissists? [3:35] Dr. Rob explains how you can work on breaking out of your narcissistic mold. [5:30] Part of recovery is being 100% honest. If you’re honest, your narcissism ...
Why Can’t I Get Past the 9th Step?
May 25, 2023 04:00 - 30 minutes - 68.8 MBDr. Rob and Tami help someone going through the 9th step process and are currently struggling to reconcile with their wife during this process. His partner still feels incredibly hurt and he is wondering how he can make amends while also soothing her. Dr. Rob and Tami give insight on what living amends really means. TAKEAWAYS: [:35] Do addicts also suffer from fertility issues? [6:00] Whatever you’re ashamed of, tell your doctor. You won’t get the help you need unless you’re honest...
When Do I Know It’s Time to Completely Separate from My Addict?
May 19, 2023 16:36 - 30 minutes - 70.5 MBDr. Rob and Tami walk through someone who is struggling to figure out whether they should pour more energy into their loved one or if they should finally make the tough decision to separate. Dr. Rob understands that the listener wants to make sure they’ve exhausted all their options so that they can leave the relationship ‘with no regret’, but he explains why that’s not always the best approach. TAKEAWAYS: [:30] Should I stay or should I go? [2:45] I want to make sure I’ve exhaus...
My Addict’s Family Blames Me for His Addiction
May 15, 2023 20:18 - 25 minutes - 58.8 MBDr. Rob and Tami talk about why a family might put all the focus and blame on the betrayed spouse and not look at the actual family member (their son or daughter who is the one struggling with the addiction) to put their anger and disappointment on. Dr. Rob shares a bit of a reminder that you’re working with a broken family unit and they will lash out in unhealthy ways to cope. TAKEAWAYS: [:25] How do I concentrate and retain information better? [7:15] It might be beneficial to s...
Can I Learn How to Be Intimate Again?
May 05, 2023 13:27 - 33 minutes - 76.8 MBDr. Rob and Tami answer a question from someone who is struggling to be intimate with their life-long partner. As an addict, it is so much easier to act out and live in a fantasy than live in reality. The reality is, we often do not know how to connect and build real relationships when we’re in active addiction. Dr. Rob and Tami share how you can break this toxic cycle and build true and meaningful relationships now that you’re sober. TAKEAWAYS: [0:25] How do I get over cravings as ...
I’m an Addict and I’m Attracted to My Female Coworker
April 27, 2023 04:00 - 29 minutes - 67.9 MBDr. Rob and Tami dive into what should an addict do if they’re working around the opposite sex. Obviously, quitting is not always an option nor does it solve the core problem. Dr. Rob offers advice on how to set healthy boundaries with female coworkers and how to ensure you’re still respecting your spouse in this entire process. TAKEAWAYS: [:35] Should my husband remain abstinent for 90 days? [6:00] What is a love addict? [8:55] It can take two years to really have a good and int...
I’m in Recovery, but My Partner Is in Active Addiction
April 19, 2023 17:38 - 27 minutes - 63.4 MBDr. Rob and Tami answer a question from someone who is in recovery, but their partner is not. Is there hope for this relationship? Dr. Rob breaks down why you have to focus on your own journey if you want to get the most out of your sobriety. Maybe your partner will come around, maybe not. Dr. Rob and Tami explain what this means for you. TAKEAWAYS: [1:05] How can I get over the betrayal and his relapse? [7:00] One session once a week is just not going to cut it. [10:30] Most add...
I’m in Recovery and I Still Have No Empathy
April 18, 2023 17:33 - 28 minutes - 66.2 MBDr. Rob and Tami answer a question from a man who is struggling to find honesty and empathy during his journey through recovery. His therapist believes he should dive into his childhood traumas, but he’s unsure of the reasoning behind it. Dr. Rob explains that the way we feel as a child is how we treat our spouses when we grow up. So, if we felt unworthy of love, unseen, or completely ignored, we will do the same to those that are closest to us. TAKEAWAYS: [1:05] I’m trying to meet a...
I’m So Hurt. How Do I Even Begin to Process the Betrayal?
April 18, 2023 17:31 - 35 minutes - 81.4 MBDr. Rob and Tami answer a question from a betrayed partner on how to process through everything that has happened to her. She has found out about her addict’s affairs and isn’t sure how to process or begin the journey of healing. Dr. Rob and Tami share some tips to get the process jumpstarted. TAKEAWAYS: [1:05] I’ve been betrayed and my therapist tells me I need to process through the betrayal. What does that even mean? [7:00] Dr. Rob was getting a massage and he started crying. So...
My Brother-In-Law Intentionally Triggered My PTSD. Do I Disown the Family?
March 31, 2023 22:46 - 27 minutes - 63.8 MBDr. Rob and Tami answer a question from a betrayed spouse that experienced sexual assault when she was younger. Her SA partner’s brother was being very disrespectful and chose not to listen to her wishes/boundaries and intentionally triggered her PTSD. When you’re in a situation where you’re with mean or rude family members, what should you do or focus on? Dr. Rob and Tami share their thoughts and advice. TAKEAWAYS: [:25] I have performance anxiety and ED issues due to chemsex. How ...
He Watches Incest Porn. Are My Children Safe?
March 27, 2023 18:10 - 34 minutes - 79.9 MBDr. Rob and Tami answer a heavy question from a listener about whether she should be concerned that her husband is around their children after he revealed some of his porn preferences. Dr. Rob weighs in on his thoughts and what you should do when you find out your addict has been watching very disturbing and “not normal” porn. TAKEAWAYS: [:25] My husband suffers from depression and it’s starting to drag me down. How can I better support myself and him? [3:30] Dr. Rob shares a self-...
His Sexual Fantasies are Out of Control and It’s Turning into Sexual Abuse
March 15, 2023 18:53 - 30 minutes - 70 MBDr. Rob and Tami answer a listener's question who feels very stuck and hopeless. She feels trapped because it seems the aggression in sex with her addict is getting worse and worse. He has intense sexual fantasies throughout the day and wants to keep acting out with them. Is there hope for someone like this? TAKEAWAYS: [:35] I have performance anxiety. I can’t seem to perform now that I’m sober. [2:20] Intimacy is scary. How do you talk about your performance anxiety? [4:45] My S...
My Addict Doesn’t Trust Me! The Audacity. He Thinks I’ll Cheat Back.
March 15, 2023 18:50 - 31 minutes - 72.6 MBDr. Rob and Tami answer a question from a very upset listener. Her partner is accusing her of being unfaithful after the discovery because he feels she will just want to cheat back after finding out about everything this man has done. She is furious that this man is projecting his insecurities onto her. Dr. Rob and Tami share how this woman can protect herself, heal herself, and move forward from this projection. TAKEAWAYS: [:50] Should my SA husband be treated for OCD? [4:45] I ke...
She Had a Ring On, and He Respected It. Yet He Still Cheated in Our Marriage.
March 07, 2023 16:54 - 33 minutes - 77.6 MBDr. Rob and Tami answer a question from a very hurt spouse. Her husband has found himself sexually attracted to amarried woman, and although he was honest with her, she can’t understand why he’ll respect the marriage of a stranger but not his own marriage. What’s going on with this person? Does he have so little care about their own marriage? Dr. Rob and Tami share some insights. TAKEAWAYS: [:25] My SA has no empathy. Is this fixable? [4:40] How do I know if my addict truly wants...
He Cheated. Was My Entire Marriage a Lie?
March 07, 2023 16:51 - 28 minutes - 65.6 MBDr. Rob and Tami share some light into why an addict might betray their spouse’s trust. Was the last 40-plus years of marriage all a lie? The answer is no. Addicts are deeply broken people and, although this is not an excuse, they show love in very puzzling and misguided ways. Dr. Rob and Tami offer some understanding and insight into why an addict might think, and do, the things that they do. TAKEAWAYS: [:25] How do I respond to my addict when he says I don’t appreciate him enough? ...
My Betrayed Spouse Thinks I’m Disgusting. Can We Reconcile?
February 16, 2023 17:41 - 30 minutes - 69.2 MBDr. Rob and Tami get a question from a SA who is experiencing a lot of shame and distress in his current relationship. After disclosing to his wife all the betrayals and hurts he has caused her, she is having a hard time adjusting to this new-found information. She has expressed that she thinks he’s disgusting for having certain sexual preferences. Is there any hope for him to reconcile and have a loving relationship again with his wife? Dr. Rob and Tami offer some insight into what’s really...
The Opposite of Addiction Is Healthy Attachment
February 15, 2023 17:34 - 36 minutes - 83 MBDr. Rob and Tami answer a question from someone who is struggling with their ambivalent emotions against their addict. Dr. Rob senses this betrayed spouse has too much investment in the addict and not enough care or compassion for themselves. It’s important as a betrayed partner to practice self-care and to get a support group for your journey also! TAKEAWAYS: [:25] My SA has had a couple of slips since his recovery. Is this normal? [6:25] You don’t have to be nice when he is hurti...
Help! I Want to Relapse!
February 02, 2023 13:58 - 30 minutes - 68.6 MBDr. Rob and Tami understand that when you’re going through recovery and begin hitting milestones, you start to question why you’re really doing all of this. The journey to recovery is often hard and challenging, but it is worth it. If you’re starting to get that itch to relapse, you need to connect with your community. There is so much healing in your community! TAKEAWAYS: [:35] I’m relapsing on porn due to work stress and anxiety. How do I fight back? [5:50] What are you currently...
One Month Sober and I Want to Flip Tables and End It All
January 31, 2023 18:14 - 31 minutes - 71.7 MBDr. Rob and Tami understand that when you're going through recovery and begin hitting milestones, you start to question why you’re really doing all of this for. The journey to recovery is often hard and challenging, but it is worth it. If you’re starting to get that itch to relapse, you need to connect with your community. There is so much healing in your community! TAKEAWAYS: [:35] I’m relapsing on porn due to work stress and anxiety. How do I fight back? [5:50] What are you curr...
My Boundaries Keep Getting Violated. Do I Need to Just Accept It?
January 26, 2023 17:49 - 32 minutes - 44.4 MBDr. Rob and Tami answer a question from a listener who seems to have their boundaries constantly pushed and violated. If you feel like you have to accept something unacceptable, take a step back and remind yourself that you don’t! Dr. Rob and Tami offer some perspective on this situation. TAKEAWAYS: [:40] What’s the difference between a trauma therapist vs. a trauma coach? [4:35] You should always get the most qualified person to help you through your issue or problem. [6:20] My ...
He Emotionally Abuses Me, Is He a Sociopath?
January 19, 2023 19:07 - 28 minutes - 38.4 MBDr. Rob and Tami talk about whether someone can be a sociopath as well as a sex addict. This betrayed partner is being verbally abused and is wondering if the addict is suffering from some sort of disorder. Dr. Rob and Tami get real and share why someone might just be plain abusive and not have sociopathic tendencies. TAKEAWAYS: [:40] My partner gets triggered and I never know what to do. How can I help her? [4:30] Can I get my betrayed partner to also help him/her manage my trigge...
My Addict Keeps Accusing Me of Cheating. I'm Not! What?!
January 09, 2023 19:36 - 23 minutes - 54.4 MBDr. Rob and Tami answer a troubling question from a listener. Her husband is accusing her of cheating and he even called her a nasty name because he found out someone had a high school crush on her over 40 years ago. What is going on with this person? He’s the one with the addiction, not her, so why is she getting so much heat? Dr. Rob and Tami dive into what might be causing such a phenomenon. TAKEAWAYS: [:30] I need to get organized. I need some sort of structure. How can I do this...
How Does Addiction Affect The Family Unit?
January 09, 2023 19:33 - 24 minutes - 55.2 MBDr. Rob and Tami explain to the listeners how addiction has ripple effects on family dynamics. Many addicts think they’re great parents to their children, but that could not be further from the truth. If you’re not a great partner to your spouse, you are causing ripples of trauma not only in the way they show up but in the way your children are parented. Dr. Rob and Tami explain how addiction affects more than just the addict in this week’s episode. TAKEAWAYS: [:30] How does sex addi...