Our Society is a “Mother Venerated, Women Phobic” Paradox with Erin Lane
Outside The Studio with Tessa Tovar
English - January 29, 2023 02:30 - 55 minutes - 104 MBAlternative Health Health & Fitness Homepage Download Google Podcasts Overcast Castro Pocket Casts RSS feed
Ever felt a bit of shame or guilt pinned on you when admitting you don't want to have kids? Erin Lane and Tessa Tovar chat on how not all women feel the "baby fever" craze that is so often assumed. Listen for the discussion on adoption, abortion, personal accomplishments, and
what it means to not have biological children.
Erin S. Lane is a writer, theologian, and someone other than a mother. She is the author of Someone Other Than a Mother and Lessons in Belonging from a Church-Going Commitment Phobe.
Timestamps
(01:00)
Moderation and Margins
(04:00) Watching our parents
(05:25) Why did Erin write her book?
(10:10) How Erin adopted
(22:00) The biological urge
(28:10) End of life without children
(34:30) Blue zones
(37:10) Abortion in the US
(44:25)
What do you imagine is the best possible outcome from this book
(47:00) When is it appropriate for privileged women to speak up?
(51:50) Connect with Erin Lane
Key Takeaways
1. Our society is a "mother venerated, woman phobic," paradox.
Childless women have a sense of shame towards them, especially if proud of it. Mothers begin to have celebrations such as baby showers, however, women who don't have children, don't typically have any standard celebration for their own accomplishments. This isn't to minimize
the celebration of mothers, but reveres them as something of the highest achievement. Society ignores women, but loves mothers.
2. "Your biological clock is ticking, that baby fever is going to kick in!" is something many women have been told. However, on the individual
scale, this is not a thing for every person. Many women have no such feelings or urges ever in their life and should be treated as a normal thing, rather than unusual or selfish.
3. You can have children without having children. Through adoption or not, it is more about the connections
and influences we have on each other, rather than the biological ties. Good government and good friendships will take better care of you than your kin.
Connect with Erin Lane
Website: https://www.erinslane.com/
Her book, Someone Other Than a Mother
https://www.erinslane.com/books
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/heyerinlane
Twitter: https://twitter.com/heyerinlane
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/heyerinlane
Connect with Tessa Tovar
Website: https://tessatovar.com/
Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/tessamarietovar/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tessa-tovar-baa27613
Twitter: https://twitter.com/TBenedicktus
Ever felt a bit of shame or guilt pinned on you when admitting you don't want to have kids? Erin Lane and Tessa Tovar chat on how not all women feel the "baby fever" craze that is so often assumed. Listen for the discussion on adoption, abortion, personal accomplishments, and
what it means to not have biological children.
Erin S. Lane is a writer, theologian, and someone other than a mother. She is the author of Someone Other Than a Mother and Lessons in Belonging from a Church-Going Commitment Phobe.
Timestamps
(01:00)
Moderation and Margins
(04:00) Watching our parents
(05:25) Why did Erin write her book?
(10:10) How Erin adopted
(22:00) The biological urge
(28:10) End of life without children
(34:30) Blue zones
(37:10) Abortion in the US
(44:25)
What do you imagine is the best possible outcome from this book
(47:00) When is it appropriate for privileged women to speak up?
(51:50) Connect with Erin Lane
Key Takeaways
1. Our society is a "mother venerated, woman phobic," paradox.
Childless women have a sense of shame towards them, especially if proud of it. Mothers begin to have celebrations such as baby showers, however, women who don't have children, don't typically have any standard celebration for their own accomplishments. This isn't to minimize
the celebration of mothers, but reveres them as something of the highest achievement. Society ignores women, but loves mothers.
2. "Your biological clock is ticking, that baby fever is going to kick in!" is something many women have been told. However, on the individual
scale, this is not a thing for every person. Many women have no such feelings or urges ever in their life and should be treated as a normal thing, rather than unusual or selfish.
3. You can have children without having children. Through adoption or not, it is more about the connections
and influences we have on each other, rather than the biological ties. Good government and good friendships will take better care of you than your kin.
Connect with Erin Lane
Website: https://www.erinslane.com/
Her book, Someone Other Than a Mother
https://www.erinslane.com/books
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/heyerinlane
Twitter: https://twitter.com/heyerinlane
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/heyerinlane
Connect with Tessa Tovar
Website: https://tessatovar.com/
Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/tessamarietovar/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tessa-tovar-baa27613
Twitter: https://twitter.com/TBenedicktus