A Little Better // Don't Miss the Moment

Transcript

Aaron Hixson:  Hey Northridge, welcome to A Little Better, where our goal is to know God better and to do better, so that we can be a little better. 

Hey everybody, welcome back to A Little Better.  Thank you for joining us for another episode.  I'm coming to you with a very important person.  His name is Drew Karschner, but he is more famous for his ability to help you paint like a pro.  This is our lead pastor, who has some amazing skills that the CW keeps reminding us of. 

Drew Karschner:  Apparently I have bladder issues as well.  So, I don’t know.  I can paint, but I can't hold my pee. 

[Both laughing.] 

Aaron:  That is perfect.  If anybody has been watching on the CW or you check out from time to time the TV guide, a few times that we've been on TV, the CW has put up -- I don't know if these were previously paid, you know, advertisers or whatever it was.  This past week it was how to Paint Like a Pro with Zoom Paint or something like that.  And the first week was literally, what was the actual caption for week 1? 

Drew:  It was like, Trouble with Your Bladder or something like that. 

Aaron:  I got so many funny screenshot text messages of people, they would try to catch you with a funny face, and they're like, "having trouble with your bladder."  I'm sure you got that too. 

Drew:  I have enough trouble, like, on my own of not making funny moments, or you know, dumb moments myself.  Then the CW, obviously would like to help me out as well.  Thank you for that. 

Aaron:  Just a little bit of extra boost as if we needed more opportunities for people to make some memes, but, oh my goodness, that's good.  And by the way, if you do have any painting tips, I'd love to hear from, you know, the Zoom paint method.  Let me know what that is.  I'm doing some painting this week, so I need the help. 

Drew:  Nice. 

Aaron:  Yeah, let's actually go in a little bit more here.  I have a question I think that maybe is related to the way we've been planning our services ever since COVID has hit.  Something that, especially for people that listen to this podcast, they're probably insiders in our church and are familiar with how we do things normally. 

We haven't typically done a lot of, like, at the end of a service, you might call it an altar call or an invitation, where people can raise their hand and put their faith in Christ, that kind of a thing.  We haven't ordinarily done tons of that, but ever since COVID, we've literally done it every week since March the 15th or whatever it was that we went into COVID. 

So I'm just wondering if you can let us know why is that, what's the thinking behind it.  I haven't heard anything negative about it, I just wanna give you an opportunity to cast some vision around that. 

Drew:  Yeah, so the first weekend we had what we would call COVID series.  If you remember, we were in the Unfiltered Jesus series.  I was in a boat talking about storms in your life.  Man, I preached that message and I watched it on the stream. 

I felt really good about it, but there was one major regret that I had.  I know in the season of fear and uncertainty, people have a lot of questions.  I walked away from that service and went, "Man, I didn't give people a chance to respond to the truth of the gospel."  And I felt this overwhelming sense of a little bit of regret, and I just felt like the Holy Spirit was like, “Drew, you need to lean into this moment and you need to go for it and give people a chance to respond to the gospel.”  So, man, I prayed about it, and I just had this sense of confirmation that that's what God wanted me to do and how he wanted me to lead, so I just chased after it. 

So, ever since that weekend, I've given people a chance to respond to the gospel.  There's two reasons why I do that.  One, because I think there's a lot of people out there who haven't experienced the hope of Jesus who need to experience the hope of Jesus.  I want to give them a clear picture of what that is, the truth behind that, and the way you accept that. 

But two, I think just as a Christ follower, for us, man, just because I've accepted the gospel doesn't mean I don't still need the gospel.  And hearing the truth of the gospel, each week, and being able to pray for people in the moment where they're choosing to respond against the spiritual forces of evil I think is a really powerful reminder and a really powerful moment for our church. 

And so, I just feel like it's something really God has led me to do.  And we've seen God move in people's hearts.  There's really no way of measuring salvation.  That's something that only God knows.  But we've seen, I think up to this point, 106 people say, "Hey, I said that prayer, I chose to respond to this message."  And man, I don't know what that number means.  I'll be the first one to be honest and say, man, we've had 106 people let us know they said that prayer.  I don't know what that means.  Only God does.  But man, I'm gonna celebrate that people are responding to that, and I just think it's been really cool to see. 

Aaron:  Mmhmm.  Yeah, I agree with all that.  What's your thought, or what is the conversation thus far related to our plan, let's say -- I'm not even gonna throw a date out there.  Let's just say when we're back together, and things are "normal," even though that will likely be a phased approach, what's your guess as to how or when we might continue this, or how long we would continue it? 

Drew:  I don't know if I know the answer to that question.  I feel like I'm gonna just, you know, I think we'll continue to do it.  I don't even know if going forward we'll continue to do it every single week the way we're doing it.  If you've been coming to Northridge church, you know we like to experiment with things. 

Aaron:  Sure. 

Drew:  And we pull things and we add things fast and quick.  And so, I'm gonna do it until I feel like, you know, God tells me to stop.  I know that's kind of a generic answer, but I don't know.  I don't know if we're gonna continue to do it or if we're gonna stop, but I've seen God use it, and I'm gonna celebrate that until we decide to maybe kind of change it or adjust it better for our services. 

Aaron:  Sure. 

Drew:  All that to say, I don't know. 

Aaron:  [Laughing.]  That's an extended answer for the reality of I don't know.  That's funny. 

Okay, cool.  I just think that’s really helpful for people to hear, and even for me, you know, to think it through.  And I'm actually teaching this weekend, so it's good for me to understand some of those dynamics as well, even though we've talked about it some.  Cool. 

So, this past weekend was a cool one on a few different fronts, but getting to baptise Richie was definitely fun for me. 

Drew:  Amazing story. 

Aaron:  Yeah, incredible story.  He worked hard to make sure he could express that clearly.  I'm so thankful for Richie's willingness to share, and share honestly.  I mean, obviously there's details in there that he could have easily told his story without including, and he chose to be honest.  And he had even more that he shared especially about, the importance of Starting Point and the particular leaders who lead in the Henrietta campus Starting Point.  Brad and Karen Files, Mike and Chris Maloney, are people that he shouted out in particular. 

And I just, man, that environment across all of our campuses has been so crucial for people's faith.  And I think he said it best.  He said "they were there to recruit --"  I'm sorry.  Backwards.  [Laughing]

Drew:  Yeah, that's wrong. 

Aaron:  "They were there to inform, not to recruit."  And I love how he said that.  That's the reality of Starting Point.  Now, at the end of the day, we are all kind of low-key recruiting, right?  But the way that you want people to feel is that we're just letting you know the facts so that you can make a decision, and just be praying that God's at work in their lives. 

Drew:  Yeah, we recruit with love.  I like that.  It's not like people are a number to us.  We just love them, and we allow God to do the work that only he can do.  That's what he did in Richie's life.  He used people to inform them of the truth, love him where he was, and God worked on him. 

Aaron:  Yeah.  And if you believe that there's something really good that you're offering to people, even if you're gonna do it in a gentle and kind and loving way, you still are low-key hoping that they'll do it, which is at some level recruiting.  You know? 

So that kind of brings us to that missional relationship thing of living with urgency.  Like, if I genuinely believe that I hold the keys to the truth of reality, especially life after death, then I am going to be at some basic level recruiting, but we don't have to think of recruiting in a negative sense where you're getting, you know, cold sales calls from people that you don't know and who don't care about anything but your money.  Like, it's not that kind of recruiting, but we could be that kind of urgent.  You know, t's a tension to manage, but the fact that he felt as if they were just there to inform, while in the back of their minds they're desperately hoping and praying that he'll come to know Christ, that's why that was so perfect to me.  Because it illustrated how we're trying to come across, while maintaining a deep sense of urgency. 

Drew:  Yeah, I think that's well said. 

Aaron:  And you couldn't even see the gloves that I was wearing, so it really worked.  [Both laughing.]  I was kind of glad they weren't like bright purple surgical gloves, that were up to the elbows or something.  That would have looked a little funny. 

Drew:  Dishwasher gloves. 

Aaron:  Yeah, dishwasher gloves.  [Both laughing.]  Which, by the way, do you ever wear those when you wash dishes? 

Drew:  No.  My wife wears them every time.  She's got, like, purple polka-dotted ones and bright red ones, I'm like, why? You know why I wear them?  I use them for one thing and one thing only.  You ever try to open a jar you can't open?  Those gloves are bomb-diggity for getting jars.  I mean, literally.  I can squeeze my hand, my hand hurts, I put those gloves on, I'm like Hulk.  I become the Hulk with that.  I'm like, [grunts.] 

Aaron:  That's amazing.  I gotta say, I've never had a jar I couldn't immediately open.  Basically I just look at a jar, and it starts opening because I'm, like, incredibly strong. 

Drew:  It's cause Lauren twists them for you. 

Aaron:  Well, what?  No. 

Drew:  It's cause she pre-twists them for you. 

Aaron:  [Laughing.]  Whatever, whatever. 

Dude, I actually -- Lauren somewhere along the way, like, had decided to grab some of those gloves and now I legit, like I don't want to touch anything in the sink if I'm not wearing those gloves.  It's incredible. 

Drew:  I'm not sure I'd let the public know that, Aaron. 

Aaron:  No, seriously bro.  Imagine doing like 15 minutes of dishes --

Drew:  You're not gonna convince me on this. 

Aaron:  Dude, 15 minutes of dishes and there's no wrinkly hands afterwards.  It's amazing. 

Drew:  Aaron, I like tubs.  So that wrinkly feeling is -- I like it. 

Aaron:  Oh my goodness.  Again, there's so much wrong with your whole approach related to water.  I just feel like we need to do a whole segment. 

Drew:  You mean the most important resource in the world and I actually like it?  You know your body is made up of like 75%, so like, right now, you're rejecting 75% of who you are and who God made you to be. 

Aaron:  No, I don't like to sit in my own filth.  That's why I don't like it.  [Laughing.]  Whatever.  The fact that you don't pre-shower before a bath is -- I can't, I'll never be over that. 

Drew:  Just to give a pre-reference, if I work out in the mud, in the field, I do pre-shower.  But when I'm already clean and I wanna relax, I just get in the nice clear water. 

Aaron:  Okay, okay.  Enjoy your lavender bath bomb.  I’ll just -- actually, that would be amazing.  I'll take a lavender bath bomb right now.  I just would pre-shower. 

Okay, so the series A Life That Matters, one thing I wanna lean into, we've gotten some feedback I think is actually really helpful around the name of the series and what people are understanding it to mean. Let me just set some context and have you give some clarity around it. 

The tension is, A Life that Matters sounds as if what we're saying, cause the word matters has multiple meanings, and so if you think of the word matters in our culture, oftentimes it's coming up with like Black Lives Matter or All Lives Matter or Blue Lives Matter and all of the tension surrounding that. 

But what those hashtags are meant to convey, and in particular, Black Lives Matter, is just trying to illustrate that, you know, people in our community are sometimes treated as if they don't matter.  And so this hashtag is meant to highlight the fact that these are lives that actually do have inherent value and worth.  So they're using the word matter to imply, this life has value.  Just in and of itself.  Its existence has value. 

So when we say "a life that matters," we're kind of making it seem as if, when you look at the world, there are some lives that have inherent value and some lives that don't have inherent value, because that's what the word matter can mean at times. 

So, I don't believe we're saying that, and I would love for you to tell us what we mean by the word matter so that we can clear up for people that we're not demeaning the value of any human. 

Drew:  Sure, and I think we brought a little bit of clarity to that this weekend when we talked about relationships and, you know, we made this statement, I made this statement.  I don't know why I said we.  I guess it was just me and that empty room all by myself. 

Aaron:  The royal plural. 

Drew:  You know, we said every life matters.  It has intrinsic value because God made people that way, he put his image in them, and so every life has value.  That's the way God made us.  And so, you can't argue that statement because God already stamped his approval, the truth on it.  And so every life has value. 

What we're really talking about in this series is what you do with your life.  And does what you do actually make it count?  And so your actions have a lot of weight on whether your life has impact, counts, for not just here and now, but for all of eternity. 

And so we're looking at kind of the idea of legacy, of a legacy that you can -- and we're gonna talk about this in the series, so this is a kind of sneak preview of where we're headed - a legacy that lasts here on earth, but also looks towards eternity. 

And so, this is really an action oriented series on what you're doing with your life and how much it can count if you're investing it in the right things. 

Aaron:  Got it.  So it's more about the cumulative result of your life's efforts.  And I love that word legacy.  I think that's.  A perfect description because that's what we're leaning into.  If you get to the end of your life and you were to just tabulate what you've accomplished and who it will impact, and for how long it will impact them, will you be able to say your life matters? 

And there's people who have accomplished a lot, but it's stuff that won't ultimately matter for eternity, like whatever, a sports legend who invests their entire life in sports and they get to the end of it, and they're like, "Okay, you got 6 MVPs" or whatever, but that's not gonna matter for eternity.  That's not to say that the only thing that has -- the only thing you're allowed to do with your life, like if you're an accountant, you need to quit and become a missionary because you're crunching numbers and that doesn't matter.  Of course that's not what we're saying. 

But that's what A Life That Matters is meant to imply, is are you investing your life, whether you're an accountant, a pastor, an NBA star, whatever you're doing, are you using that platform and those opportunities to have a result of your life that you're gonna say, man I'm so glad that I was a basketball player this way, that I was an accountant who operated this way at work?  You know?

Drew:  Yeah, and I think it goes back to what Paul said this weekend, making the most of every opportunity so, it's learning to invest your time into the right things that not only have impact here, but have impact for forever. 

Aaron:  Got it.  So, I think that we'll, if there are folks either struggling through that or trying to figure out if we're making it seem as if someone matters or doesn't -- in fact, I think it's important to say, no matter how you spend your life, it will not impact in any way your inherent worth.  You can't make yourself more or less valuable to God by the way that you live your life. 

Drew:  Isn't that the great thing about God?  How awesome is that.  That truth is amazing, that no matter what you do with your life, doesn't change the value God has placed on your life, but it has significance for where you spend your eternity. 

Aaron:  Yeah.  So, if people have questions about that, if you're still struggling through that, trying to figure out either what we mean, or if there's anything in this that brings up a tension in your own life, feel free.  Of course, always reach out to any of us, anybody on our staff, any of our social media, we've made that clear.  We want to be as accessible as possible.  And we would love to bring up specific questions or tensions if you've got them. 

One thing that we even talked about, Drew, as we were, I guess, sorting through this tension was -- something that came to my mind right away was a line from the book Don't Waste Your Life by John Piper, which, if you haven't read it, it's kind of like a Christian classic at this point.  John Piper makes some really strong points about how to invest our lives, and I think it has really impacted a generation of Christianity.  

But there's a moment -- John Piper's father was an evangelist.  At one of his evangelism meetings a guy came forward, placed his faith in Christ, he was in his late 60s or something.  John Piper has a vivid memory of this man in what felt like -- John Piper's a kid, so this guy felt really old.  And he was at the end of his life and had just placed his faith in Christ.  The refrain he kept repeating after placing his faith in Christ was, "I've wasted it, I've wasted it, I've wasted it."  The guy, looking back on his life and realizing, "I have nothing to show for these 60-plus years of my life because I've spent it all on myself.” 

So that person, this guy, he doesn't not matter to God.  Of course he matters to God.  He has an inherent worth.  But he was self-declaring, "I've wasted my life.  I've spent it on stuff that doesn't matter, and now I wish I could invest in something that does." 

Drew:  That reminds me, Aaron, this is kind of a sneak peak into this weekend is, we've got a story we're gonna share that is very similar to that.  I think it's gonna be really powerful in your message.  I can't wait.  I just watched it.  Man, it'll charge you up.  It'll cause you to reevaluate what you're doing with your life. 

Aaron:  No doubt. 

Drew:  It's so powerful.  Make sure you're inviting your friends.  What a great story. 

Aaron:  It's an incredible story. 

Drew:  By the way, shoutout to Connor Ellsworth, who is actually in our Zoom call right now.  Dude, you did an incredible job with the video. 

Aaron:  It came together really well.  I've watched it, I don't know, a number of times, and each time, I keep thinking, the first time I listened to it I was like, "Wait, why am I preaching?  Can we just play this?"  It's like a four and a half minute video and I'm like, let's just play this and be done.  I have nothing to contribute. 

Yeah.  It's so good.  And his sentiment, this guy from the book Don't Waste Your Life and what you're gonna hear from Michael this weekend, it's just the idea that, "Man, I wish I had done this differently.  I don't feel like my life had mattered until I started living this way." 

Drew:  And that's what this series is all about.  We talk about death brings perspective.  When you're facing death, it doesn't matter how well you lived your life.  There's gonna be things you look back and be like, "I did a great job with this."  But there's also gonna be areas where you're like, "I wish I would've changed things.  I wish I would have done things differently." 

It's crisis and death that actually give us the clarity that we need to see things accurately. 

Aaron:  I love that.  Let's actually talk about that related to the different categories of relationships.  What would you do differently, where do you think we tend to go wrong?  This is related to everyday relationships, intimate relationships, missional relationships, and our relationship with God.  Those are the four categories you talked about, and you even did a little bit of, you know, confession or honesty with us about phone-snubbing your kids or whatever and having regret around that, as we all have. 

How have you processed this just since Sunday related to making the most of every opportunity and relationship? 

Drew:  I think the big things I was challenged by my message was, one, I want to have more boldness.  I feel like I'm seeing that in this crisis.  I've had way more boldness just to invite anybody and everybody.  I've been, like, scrolling through my contacts being like, "Who haven't I talked to in a while and how can I invite them to the live stream?"  And I'm realizing, the worst thing that can happen to me is someone ignores my text or says "I'm not interested." 

This crisis has given me this, like "Dude, why haven't you been this bold before?  What has stopped you?"  And it's just creating a boldness in me.  And I want more of that.  I want that to continue to grow.  I don't want that to fade as the crisis fades.  I want to keep that, this urgency of, man, I can come up with all the excuses.  But what urgency does is it just tears down all my excuses and says "Let's go for it."  I'm learning a little bit of that with my missional relationships. 

Then, with my everyday relationships, obviously I don't want to talk too much about my dad, because we've talked about him, but whew.  Yeah.  There's just some moments I regret,  I wish I could get back.  [Emotional.]  So that's all I'll say about that cause I'm not gonna make it through. 

Aaron:  Yeah.  And as much as sometimes we'll make it seem like you're the emotional one and I'm the nerdy one, I am a super sappy person when it comes to certain relationships, in particular with Lauren.  Like, we legit can't watch -- even like romcoms are sometimes on the edge for me, like if there's breakups or spouses passing away or stuff like that.  I'm always just like, "Oh, Lauren I love you so much, don't ever leave me" and "I'm gonna miss you."  I don't know,something about seeing other people's tragedies that makes us realize that this relationship matters, but an hour ago I thought it was more interesting to be watching some YouTube video.  We've all had that moment where either you're talking to your spouse or a friend or something, and the phone starts to creep in and now you're looking at your phone.  I've done this a million times where I have to admit to Lauren, I'm like, "I gotta be real with you, I didn't hear a word you just said” because I was too busy doing something stupid.

You talked about how we replace the meaningful with the meaningless.  I'm watching a YouTube video on how to set up dust collection in a woodshop and the love of my life is talking to me about something.  Even if it's insignificant, and I've somehow decided in that moment that I'm gonna prioritize the dumbest video.  And as you said, those are the moments that I'm just gonna say, "What was I thinking?"  You know?  We can't live our lives full of regret, like "Did I literally maximize every second of our relationship?" and I know that. 

Drew:  Right, right.   

Aaron:  But at the same time, I don't wanna lose seconds, you know?  I want to make the most of every opportunity.  Paul uses that in particular with missions.  In both Ephesians and Colossians, those are specific to people who are far from God.  He's saying, make the most of every opportunity, but I love that you applied it more generally to even just either your barista or the people that we know the most.  Make the most.  Why would you not make the most?  We have such a short life.  These people mean so much to us, and these people will be around for eternity, so catch every moment.  You know?  

Drew:  Right, and I just think, you know, we've all worked a job where someone's a jerk to us.  And we've all worked a job when someone was kind and appreciative.  Sometimes it's as simple as that with your waitress or the person serving you coffee or whoever, your coworkers.  It's just like, "Hey, I appreciate you."  That goes a long way.  Or, "Hey, thanks for my coffee.  It was amazing."  Or "Hey, how's your day going?" 

One thing my wife is so good at, and honestly this is where I get convicted in my everyday relationships.  We're checking out and I'm ready to go, and my wife is sitting there talking to the cash register.  And I'm like, "Babe, shut up!  Let's go!"  Like, Drew, this is a person.  And they're talking to me.  And I'm like, dang.  I'm a jerk.  I am a jerk.  I'd rather get on with my day than make the most of the opportunity in front of me.  And my wife is so good at this.  She'll sit there and, 30 minutes talk, even if there's people behind her.  I'm like, "Babe, these people hate you back here, and this person loves you." 

Aaron:  Every cashier that's ever talked to Ashley loves her.  Everybody who's behind Ashley hates her. 

Drew:  Like, just keep moving.  My wife knows the people at where she goes, where she shops.  She knows the name.  When she shows up, they're like, "Hey, Ashley, good to see you," and I'm like, "Who are you?"  And I'm convicted.  I do, I view these people as a means to an end.  Your job is to check me out, give me it as fast as you can so I can get the heck out of here. 

Aaron:  Mmhmm.  Yeah.  And it's very difficult when people serve a utilitarian purpose in our life, it's very easy to begin to ignore them, to not even see them.  And you mentioned it, we right now care about these "everyday relationships" in a way we don't normally because, at the moment, your interaction with the cashier at Wegmans is now like  --

Drew:  Vital. 

Aaron:  It's also one of your only interactions with somebody that's not your family. 

Drew:  Can we talk, please? 

Aaron:  You're chatting it up with everybody. 

Drew:  Except there's a screen there.  Back away sir.  I'm like, "I just need a hug!" 

Aaron:  It's bulletproof glass and they're just like, "Please back away from the barrier." 

But yeah, so we notice these people and we are grateful for these people, but, you know, life will go back to normal, just like a year after a funeral we go back to how we were operating.  Months down the road after this crisis is over, we're gonna start ignoring people again. 

And so, that's what this series, the essence of it is, you know, it's better to go to a house of mourning, learn the lesson there, and concentrate it into your life such that it won't take crisises in the future to make you care about people, to not miss moments with your family. 

I know we keep coming back to what this series is all about, but I guess that's just what feels, that's the heart of it. 

Drew:  That's why we do this, cause they're so important.  Everybody wants to go back to normal, which I get, at some level I do.  But I think we would be missing what God's trying to do if we just go back to the old normal that we had.  Maybe we create a new normal that is actually more effective and actually, with our lives, counts even more. 

Aaron:  Yeah, that's beautiful.  Let's push toward that.  

Anything we need to know about this coming weekend? 

Drew:  Um, the man with the beard is preaching.  

Aaron:  Mmm, Nate Miller. [Laughing.]  No.  

Drew:   You're preaching, which I'm excited.  One, I'm thankful.  I just needed a break emotionally and spiritually and physically, so thank you for that.  I'm excited to hear.  We're gonna be talking about investing our resources, and so it's gonna be incredible, awesome. 

We're gonna look at two stories, so I'm pumped about that.  It's gonna be a great weekend.  I've loved this series, and I think it's having some impact on people's lives. 

Aaron:  Agreed. 

Drew:  Do you have anything to say about this weekend? 

Aaron:  Um, well, other than, if you love it, then I did some tweaking.  If you hate it, then it was Drew's original message.  That's all I have to say.  Whatever credit there is to have, I want it.  Whatever blame there is, I'm dishing it. 

Drew:  I'll take it for you, bro.  You're preaching for me, I'll take your blame. 

Aaron:  [Laughing.]  Hopefully the CW, dude, if they give me -- I can't wait for what caption they give.  

Drew:  You know it's gonna be perfect because I'm not there.  You won't get any pictures, no awkward faces with the bladder out of control, it'll be like, the title's gonna be Aaron Hixson is better than Drew.  That's what they're gonna put. 

Aaron:  No, it's gonna be, like, a modeling agency or something.  It'll be like, "Don't you wish you looked this good?"  [Laughing.] 

Oh my goodness.  Okay.  Well, we'll just wait and see.  I don't wanna get too excited about what the CW labels me. 

Thanks everybody for listening.  Seriously, we would love to have a conversation with you.  Send in comments, questions, concerns.  We wanna alleviate tensions and help everybody the way that we can. 

So, we'll see you this weekend on the chat stream or the correctly labelled CW.  Thanks guys. 

Transcript lightly edited for readability.