Non-Monogamy Help artwork

Non-Monogamy Help

140 episodes - English - Latest episode: 4 days ago - ★★★★★ - 45 ratings

Non-Monogamy Help is a relationship advice podcast for people in non-monogamous or polyamorous relationships. With the help of a therapist with over a decade of experience, your host Lola Phoenix, answers the questions your questions about rules, hierarchies, unicorns and more.

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Episodes

Episode 85 - Insecurity and Comparisons

June 24, 2022 15:00 - 25 minutes - 23.9 MB

You want to be non-monogamous but you can’t stop feeling a way about your partner commenting or liking pictures of others. How do you deal? That's what's on this week's episode of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website. Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com and the art was made by Dom Duong at domduong.com! Email [email protected] with your question. --- Send in a voice message: https://pod...

Episode 84 - Disclosure and Outing

June 10, 2022 15:00 - 20 minutes - 19.2 MB

You’re in a not so open minded city. How do you tell people you want to date that you’re currently in a polyamorous or open relationship? That's what's on this week's episode of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website. Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com and the art was made by Dom Duong at domduong.com! Email [email protected] with your question. --- Send in a voice message: https://podca...

Episode 83 - Recycled Dates

May 27, 2022 15:00 - 35 minutes - 32.5 MB

What happens when you’re trying non-monogamy for the first time, but you and your partner can’t come to an agreement on things like not going to the same places they’ve taken a metamour? That's what's on this week's episode of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website. Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com and the art was made by Dom Duong at domduong.com! Email [email protected] with your questi...

Episode 82 - Dating Metamours

May 13, 2022 15:00 - 15 minutes - 13.9 MB

When your shared partner is making you both feel like you’re a triad when you’ve never agreed to that… it can get a little awkward. That's what's on this week's episode of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website. Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com and the art was made by Dom Duong at domduong.com! Email [email protected] with your question. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters....

Episode 81 - Just FOMO

April 29, 2022 15:00 - 18 minutes - 17 MB

Thinking about the things you might be missing out on doesn’t, in fact, make you a jerk. That's what's on this week's episode of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website. Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com and the art was made by Dom Duong at domduong.com! Email [email protected] with your question. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/non-monogamy-help/message

Episode 80 - Trying to Convince

April 08, 2022 15:00 - 15 minutes - 10.5 MB

If you’re trying to convince your partner to be polyamorous, you may not be able to “fix” them wanting monogamy. That's what's on this week's episode of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website. Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com and the art was made by Dom Duong at domduong.com! Email [email protected] with your question. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/sho...

Episode 79 - Outside Veto

April 01, 2022 10:42 - 19 minutes - 13.8 MB

This week's episode is about what happens when a mutual friend is unhappy with the relationship building happening between you and someone else. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on our website. Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com and the art was made by Dom Duong at domduong.com! Email [email protected] with your question. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/non-monogamy-help/message

Episode 78 - Not Good Enough

March 11, 2022 17:00 - 21 minutes - 14.6 MB

Sometimes when your partner wants non-monogamy you can be left feeling like you’ve failed or not done enough. That's what's on this week's episode of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on our website. Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com and the art was made by Dom Duong at domduong.com! Email [email protected] with your question. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/...

Episode 77 - Making the Leap

February 25, 2022 17:00 - 16 minutes - 11.2 MB

If non-monogamy is a no go, should you say goodbye to a five year relationship on a hunch? That's what's on this week's episode of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on our website. Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com and the art was made by Dom Duong at domduong.com! Email [email protected] with your question. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/non-monogamy-help/m...

Episode 76 - No Way Out

February 11, 2022 17:00 - 28 minutes - 20.6 MB

If you feel you’re between crushing emotions and a family breakdown, you might feel like there’s no way out. That's what's on this week's episode of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on our website. Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com and the art was made by Dom Duong at domduong.com! Email [email protected] with your question. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/n...

Episode 75 - Overreacting

January 28, 2022 17:00 - 16 minutes - 12.4 MB

Your short term partner is snapping and says it’s a joke and your long term partner says you’re overreacting. How do you deal? That's what's on this week's episode of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on our website. Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com and the art was made by Dom Duong at domduong.com! Email [email protected] with your question. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spo...

Episode 74 - Dating Family

January 14, 2022 17:00 - 18 minutes - 13.1 MB

In starting out in polyamory, most people want to make rules — like no dating friends or family. It’s worth thinking more about that rule. That's what's on this week's episode of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on our website. Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com and the art was made by Dom Duong at domduong.com! More about Non-Monogamy Help: Read the column Subscribe to the newsletter Become a patron ...

Episode 73 - Caveat Emptor

January 01, 2022 17:00 - 19 minutes - 14 MB

It’s easy to think you might be interest in non-monogamy, but what if you have some conflicting feelings when theory becomes practice? --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/non-monogamy-help/message

Episode 72 - Caveat Emptor

January 01, 2022 17:00 - 19 minutes - 14 MB

It’s easy to think you might be interest in non-monogamy, but what if you have some conflicting feelings when theory becomes practice?

Episode 72 - Problematic Pedestal

December 17, 2021 17:00 - 22 minutes - 15.8 MB

When you put one partner on a pedestal, it can cause a lot of constant anxiety. That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/non-monogamy-help/message

Episode 71 - Feelings and Friends

December 03, 2021 17:00 - 19 minutes - 11.5 MB

We create rules sometimes about what our partners can do because we’re afraid of losing them, but sometimes the rules we make don’t actually change anything. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/non-monogamy-help/message

Episode 70 - Half Ghosting

November 12, 2021 17:00 - 19 minutes - 8.91 MB

What happens when your mutual partner ghosts you, but not your partner? Rejection sucks, but this feels a bit different. That's what's on this week's episode of Non-Monogamy Help. Discussion Topic - What happens when your partner and your best friend don’t get along? --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/non-monogamy-help/message

Episode 69 - Self-Sacrificing Too Much

October 29, 2021 17:00 - 25 minutes - 17.4 MB

If you’ve given a partner 10 years in monogamy, but they expect you to be happy and feel compersion after deciding to be polyamorous, you might be self-sacrificing  a little too much.  That's what's on this week's episode of Non-Monogamy Help. Discussion Topic - What’s one major way your values have changed in the last 10 years? --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/non-monogamy-help/message

Episode 68 - Mismatched Ideals

October 15, 2021 17:00 - 21 minutes - 15.2 MB

If your partner is polyamorous but you are non-monogamous is your relationship doomed? That's what's on this week's episode of Non-Monogamy Help. Discussion Topic - What is your ideal polyamory or non-monogamy set-up? --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/non-monogamy-help/message

Episode 67 - Mismatched Ideals

October 15, 2021 17:00 - 21 minutes - 15.2 MB

If your partner is polyamorous but you are non-monogamous is your relationship doomed? That's what's on this week's episode of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on our website. Discussion Topic - What is your ideal polyamory or non-monogamy set-up? Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com and the art was made by Dom Duong at domduong.com!  More about Non-Monogamy Help: Read the column Subscribe to the n...

Episode 67 - Temporary Monogamy

October 01, 2021 17:00 - 34 minutes - 31.3 MB

Can an aversion to non-monogamy come from relationship anxiety and trauma? Discussion Topic - What have you changed your mind about in terms of how you want to live your life? --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/non-monogamy-help/message

Episode 66 - Hidden Metamour

September 17, 2021 17:00 - 15 minutes - 14.1 MB

Even if you have confusing boundaries and you’re not “official”, lying by omission can still feel like cheating. Discussion Topic - What is a non-monogamous setup that wouldn’t work for you? --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/non-monogamy-help/message

Episode 65 - No Longer Primary

September 03, 2021 17:00 - 20 minutes - 18.9 MB

How do you force yourself out of apathy if you feel the partner you want to settle down with is slipping away? Discussion Topic - How has your ideal lifestyle changed over time? --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/non-monogamy-help/message

Episode 64 - What Rules to Have

August 20, 2021 17:00 - 18 minutes - 14.5 MB

Will the rules you want to put in place prevent what you think they will prevent? That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website. Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com and the art was made by Dom Duong at domduong.com! Email [email protected] with your question. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/non-monogamy-help/message

Episode 63 - Visualising Your Partner

August 06, 2021 19:00 - 22 minutes - 18.7 MB

What if you can’t see your partner with someone else in your head without feeling terrible? That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website. Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com and the art was made by Dom Duong at domduong.com! Email [email protected] with your question. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/non-monogamy-help/message

Episode 62 - More Metamour Toxicity

July 23, 2021 17:00 - 18 minutes - 14 MB

Your partner’s partner’s partner doesn’t seem like they’re good for your metamour, but what can you actually do? That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website. Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com and the art was made by Dom Duong at domduong.com! Email [email protected] with your question. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/non-monogam...

Episode 61 - PTSD and Polyamory

July 09, 2021 17:00 - 27 minutes - 18.9 MB

A previous abusive experience of a polyam relationship is causing floods of emotions on your second try. Should you stop? That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website. Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com and the art was made by Dom Duong at domduong.com! Email [email protected] with your question. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/no...

Episode 60 - Temporarily Open

June 18, 2021 17:00 - 22 minutes - 15.7 MB

Can opening your relationship temporarily work to address an incompatibility? That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website. Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com and the art was made by Dom Duong at domduong.com! Email [email protected] with your question. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/non-monogamy-help/message

Episode 59 - Feeling Disconnected

June 04, 2021 17:00 - 18 minutes - 12.6 MB

If COVID caught a relationship when it was just forming, is it worth picking back up again if you’re feeling disconnected? That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website. Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com and the art was made by Dom Duong at domduong.com! Email [email protected] with your question. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/n...

Episode 58 - Sexual Incompatibility

May 21, 2021 17:00 - 25 minutes - 18.3 MB

After more than a decade, your partner wants to open up because he’s not happy, but you think things are going too fast. What do you do? That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website. Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com and the art was made by Dom Duong at domduong.com! Email [email protected] with your question. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify....

Episode 57 - Begging For Time

May 07, 2021 17:00 - 21 minutes - 14.9 MB

You’ve started in a new triad but you’re feeling like the third wheel and no one is spending time with you. What do you do? That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website. Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com and the art was made by Dom Duong at domduong.com! Email [email protected] with your question. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/...

Episode 56 - Escalating Past a Metamour

April 23, 2021 17:00 - 17 minutes - 12.2 MB

Your partner is escalating your relationship and it’s making your metamour jealous. What can you do? That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website. Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com and the art was made by Dom Duong at domduong.com! Email [email protected] with your question. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/non-monogamy-help/message

Episode 56 - Escalating Past a Metamour

April 23, 2021 17:00 - 18 minutes - 16.5 MB

Your partner is escalating your relationship and it’s making your metamour jealous. What can you do? That's what's on this week's episode of Non-Monogamy Help. Discussion Topic - What does an “escalation” in a relationship mean to you? --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/non-monogamy-help/message

Episode 55 - How Much is Too Much

April 09, 2021 17:00 - 25 minutes - 18.1 MB

How much is too much to know about your partner’s other relationships? Where is the line? That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website. Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com and the art was made by Dom Duong at domduong.com! Email [email protected] with your question. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/non-monogamy-help/message

Episode 54 - Sacrificing Too Much

March 26, 2021 17:00 - 31 minutes - 22.1 MB

When you're trying your best with polyamory but it feels like if you don't get it right, you may get divorced. That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website. Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com and the art was made by Dom Duong at domduong.com! Email [email protected] with your question. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/non-monogamy-...

Episode 53 - Forgiving Mistakes

March 12, 2021 17:00 - 28 minutes - 21.3 MB

You have a metamour who thinks someone you're dating is a bad person. What do you do? That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website. Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com and the art was made by Dom Duong at domduong.com! Email [email protected] with your question. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/non-monogamy-help/message

Episode 52 - Anxious After Marriage

February 26, 2021 17:00 - 20 minutes - 15.4 MB

Anxiety that's so overwhelming can make you feel like non-monogamy isn't for you at the time. That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website. Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com and the art was made by Dom Duong at domduong.com! Email [email protected] with your question. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/non-monogamy-help/message

Episode 51 - Conversion Therapy

February 12, 2021 17:00 - 20 minutes - 14.3 MB

When you don't want to be polyamorous anymore and you're considering therapy to convert yourself back. That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website. Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com and the art was made by Dom Duong at domduong.com! Email [email protected] with your question. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/non-monogamy-help/mes...

Episode 50 - What Is Love?

January 15, 2021 17:00 - 20 minutes - 14.7 MB

Your partner expects you to commit to monogamy eventually but you're not sure if you've ever been in love. That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website. Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com and the art was made by Dom Duong at domduong.com! Email [email protected] with your question. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/non-monogamy-help...

Episode 49 - Wanting Monogamy

January 01, 2021 17:00 - 20 minutes - 13.4 MB

A partner comes to you asking if you'd consider monogamy and then changes their mind later on, but you're still stuck on wanting it. What do you do? https://anchor.fm/dashboard/episode/e1s4f46 --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/non-monogamy-help/message

Episode 48 - Too Much NRE

December 18, 2020 17:00 - 33 minutes - 23.7 MB

Is 18 months enough time to give someone to decide if they want polyamory?  That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website. Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com and the art was made by Dom Duong at domduong.com! Email [email protected] with your question. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/non-monogamy-help/message

Episode 47 - Harem Boy

December 04, 2020 17:00 - 29 minutes - 20.8 MB

Should you judge a guy who says that all men want a harem of submissive women? That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website. Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com and the art was made by Dom Duong at domduong.com! Email [email protected] with your question. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/non-monogamy-help/message

Episode 46 - STI Risks

November 20, 2020 17:00 - 32 minutes - 22.6 MB

How worried should you be about STI risk as an immunocompromised person? That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website. Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com and the art was made by Dom Duong at domduong.com! Email [email protected] with your question. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/non-monogamy-help/message

Episode 45 - Sex Work and Polyamory

November 06, 2020 17:00 - 15 minutes - 10.3 MB

What resources are available for someone who asks about dating a sex worker? That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website. Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com and the art was made by Dom Duong at domduong.com! Email [email protected] with your question. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/non-monogamy-help/message

Episode 46 - Sex Work and Polyamory

November 06, 2020 17:00 - 15 minutes - 13.8 MB

What resources are available for someone who asks about dating a sex worker? That's what's on this week's episode of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on Patreon. Discussion Topic - What do you blame your parents for? Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com and the art was made by Dom Duong at domduong.com!  More about Non-Monogamy Help: Read the column Subscribe to the newsletter Become a patron F...

Episode 44 - You Don't Need 5 Partners

October 23, 2020 17:00 - 17 minutes - 11.8 MB

What happens when you struggle to find partners but your domestic partner does not? That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website. Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com and the art was made by Dom Duong at domduong.com! Email [email protected] with your question. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/non-monogamy-help/message

Episode 43 - What if It Ends?

October 09, 2020 16:59 - 26 minutes - 19.3 MB

What happens when our biggest fear is losing our current relationship? That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website. Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com and the art was made by Dom Duong at domduong.com! Email [email protected] with your question. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/non-monogamy-help/message

Episode 42 - The Dreaded Veto

September 25, 2020 17:00 - 32 minutes - 22.4 MB

When you've conceded to many rules but your partner demands you dump another, what do you do? That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website. Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com and the art was made by Dom Duong at domduong.com! Email [email protected] with your question. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/non-monogamy-help/message

Episode 41 - No Rules Just Wrong

September 11, 2020 17:00 - 31 minutes - 21.8 MB

In trying establish rules, does that make you less "ready" for non-monogamy or polyamory? That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website. Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com and the art was made by Dom Duong at domduong.com! Email [email protected] with your question. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/non-monogamy-help/message

Episode 40 - Polyam is Valid

August 14, 2020 16:55 - 16 minutes - 11.9 MB

What if you're struggling to see the relationship you have as valid if they're married to someone else? That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website. Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com and the art was made by Dom Duong at domduong.com! Email [email protected] with your question. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/non-monogamy-help/me...

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@nonmonogamyhelp 76 Episodes