No Crying In Baseball
360 episodes - English - Latest episode: 7 days ago - ★★★★★ - 27 ratingsWhen Patti and her potty-mouthed friend talk baseball, you'll know this is not a baseball podcast for lightweights. This is the real deal, from real fans. Because diamonds are a strong woman's best friend, and there's no crying in baseball.
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Episodes
Manos de Seda
December 03, 2019 17:00 - 45 minutes - 31 MBBefore we kick off the Boyfriends of 2020, we dabble in boyfriends of long ago and just yesterday. Patti’s original baseball boyfriend, Omar “Manos de Seda” (hands of silk!) Vizquel, landed a new gig managing Mexico’s Toros de Tijuana, and our HOF campaign progresses in earnest. Pottymouth’s 2019 Orioles BF Jonathan Villar is waived outright by the Os, and instead of emotional support, she gets a vocabulary lesson on the non-tender deadline. Some friend. We cheat off the smart ki...
Major Rant About the Minor Leagues
November 26, 2019 17:00 - 38 minutes - 26.7 MBPatti and the Pottymouth go off on MLB’s plan to gut the minor leagues, saying things like “Capitalism,” “Sanders,” “Schumer,” and “veiled threats.” Sports isn’t just sports. It is economics, labor, community, family, and politics too. On a lighter note, we bestow the title of Honorary Boyfriend on Gerardo Parra, as he departs to play in Japan. Patti reminds us what this whole “Rule 5 Draft” is about and why you’ve been hearing about which prospects teams have been protecting by p...
Be Better Than This
November 19, 2019 17:00 - 43 minutes - 29.9 MBWe can’t avoid the Astros’ sign-stealing scandal, so we lean right in. Patti and the Pottymouth choose opposite sides of the Darvish/Yelich twitter feud, as well as just how deep Alex Cora and Carlos Beltran are enmeshed in the kerfuffle. How could the Giants think bringing on Gabe Kapler was a good idea? Was it his less than stellar record with the Phillies? Or his inappropriate attempts at covering up an assault scandal while with the Dodgers? Buster Posey knows what’s what. Pottymouth ...
That’s Junior Pottymouth to You
November 12, 2019 17:00 - 43 minutes - 29.9 MBSilver Sluggers are announced and NCiB Boyfriends Ozzie Albies, Ronald Acuna, Jr., and DJ LeMahieu collect their first awards, while Anthony Rendon takes home #2, and Mookie “Pookie” Betts, Christian Yelich, and Nelson Cruz are three-time winners. Once again we miss our chance to vote for the Platinum Glove winners, and once again Nolan Arenado and Matt Chapman are the winners. There must be something in the water, or the infield grass, at El Toro High School in Lake Forest, CA. Which is no...
So Much Crying in Baseball
November 05, 2019 17:00 - 40 minutes - 28 MBWe note once or twice that the Washington Nationals won the World Series. The end of the postseason signals the start of the hot stove season so Patti offers a vocabulary lesson in exercising options. Pottymouth posits that Never Gonna be a Boyfriend Aroldis Chapman did not opt-out of his Yankees contract because there are no other places for abusive relievers. Scott Boras manages all of the top three Free Agents and has Ideas about shortening the season that sound downright reason...
A Capella Means No Shirt, Right?
October 29, 2019 16:00 - 33 minutes - 23.4 MBThe “Calma” in the Nationals clubhouse is so much more delightful than the toxic culture over at the Astros. And that’s not just two Nats fans talking, The Assistant GM of the Astros has been fired, and MLB is investigating belligerence, inappropriate behavior, and outright lies perpetrated by the Astros organization. Never should have brought that Osuna guy on to begin with. And don’t try to fake the news in a room full of journalists. We rant. Jose Andres, chef, humanitarian,...
Dead Balls, Baby Sharks, and the Elusive Shotski
October 22, 2019 16:00 - 44 minutes - 30.7 MBIn an unexpected role reversal, Pottymouth steers us away from shotskis and towards responsible behavior and making amends. Patti, meanwhile, says “balls” too much, and narrowly avoids a shotski situation at a college hockey game. Our postseason boyfriends past and present play some sexy defense (Michael Brantley), and hit some key homeruns (DJ LeMahieu and Jose Altuve). Brantley also hits a scary foul into the dugout, sending a paramedic to the hospital, because dugouts do not, an...
We’re Gonna Need a Bigger Bandwagon
October 15, 2019 16:00 - 29 minutes - 20.5 MBPart-way through the AL and NL championship rounds, we welcome bandwagon fans. Come on board, we’ll make room for everyone and don’t let anyone tell you you don’t belong. It’s our job to try to keep you, not disregard you for not being born into a baseball-loving family. Besides, bandwagon fans are the most fun to explain superstitions and rituals to. Same seats! No he CANNOT shave that terrible beard. Yes, I wore that shirt last time too. We thank Dodgers’s fans for their disregar...
That F*%#ing Chop
October 08, 2019 16:00 - 39 minutes - 27.4 MBHaven’t had a rant like this for a while. Pottymouth goes off on that fucking Tomahawk Chop, which got personal for Cardinal’s pitcher Ryan Helsey, but if that is what it took for you to see the problem, what the heck is wrong with you? You cannot simultaneously give your fans foam tomahawks and say you are taking steps to eliminate the chop. Side note, Patti swears for real. Everybody was mad at Ronald Acuna Jr. for not one but two instances of admiring a home run and what turne...
We Say “Groin” Way Too Much
October 01, 2019 16:00 - 35 minutes - 24.6 MBIn the calm between the regular season and the start of the postseason, we review, regroup, revile, and rejoice. Yadier Molina gives us the last bench-clearing conversation of the season. Our baseball boyfriends past and present clean up with the batting titles. Tim Anderson, Anthony Rendon, Mookie “Pookie” Betts, and future BF Pete Alonzo do us proud. Patti reveals that catcher Tony Wolters has been her secret Rockies BF since July, and played an end of season spoiler. Pottymouth’s Range...
Chasing History with Pete, Ronald, and Nick
September 24, 2019 16:00 - 34 minutes - 23.7 MBWith one week left in the season, is there enough time for Pete Alonso to break the record for home runs by a rookie? Can Ronald Acuña, Jr. steal those last three bases to join the coveted 40-40 club? Will Nick Castellanos hit those last two doubles for a season high of 60, not seen since 1936? Add that to the two Central division champions and all the wildcards to be decided and it’s a heck of a week for baseball fans. Eugenio Suarez breaks the record for homeruns by a Venezuelan player i...
Holy Crap, it’s the 100th Episode!
September 17, 2019 16:00 - 33 minutes - 23.4 MBSo many guys are out for the rest of the season. Some from random and heartbreaking injury, and some from preventable mayhem. We mourn the loss of Christian Yelich and ponder the opportunity that Shohei Ohtani’s knee surgery provides to improve his command of Spanish language cursing. We give a hearty WTaF to Kyle Crick’s “I punched my own teammate over music choices” injury and Michael Pineda’s “over-the-counter weight loss pills seemed like a good idea at the time” suspension. The groo...
Wilson Ramos stole that base fair and square.
September 10, 2019 16:00 - 33 minutes - 23.2 MBAfter 3364 plate appearances, Wilson Ramos finally stole a base. Ronald Acuña Jr. stole the very same base to join the 30-30 club. Who gets the base? It’s a boyfriend smackdown. Ketel Marte's slams earns player of the week and proves Pottymouth right. Matt Olson earns some boyfriend love from Patti, even though she’d prefer his Oakland team would please lose just enough for Cleveland to cement that wildcard spot. Aaron Barrett reminds us that it’s hard not to be romantic about ...
Christian Yelich Shows Us a Little Something Extra
September 03, 2019 16:00 - 35 minutes - 24.7 MBChristian Yelich just keeps racking up the points as Patti’s Brewer’s boyfriend. Not one bit of this week’s discussion touches on his baseball prowess. There’s plenty of other characteristics on which to focus, many of which are on display in the ESPN Body Issue. He also ups the humor game with his walk-up song salute to a twitter critic, and we are here for it. We cross-train a little with the Body Issue, focusing on paralympic athlete Scout Bassett, and why these photos of athlete...
Dammit Hamate
August 27, 2019 16:00 - 44 minutes - 30.3 MBPatti, Pottymouth, and Big Papi all took kids to college last week, and everyone lived through it. Players Weekend gave us some fashion statements we loved, and some we really didn’t appreciate. Mookie Betts honoring Big Papi with his cleat design, and Aaron Judge having all 200+ Little League World Series players sign his cleats? Definitely in the plus column. Tributes to Tyler Skaggs? We’re here for it. But those monochrome, unreadable unis that made some players look like umpir...
Put Us in, Paige, we’re Ready to Play
August 20, 2019 16:00 - 42 minutes - 29 MBPatti and the Pottymouth may be updating resumes after our conversation with Paige Hegedus, Manager, Special Events and Affiliate Programming for Minor League Baseball. Paige oversees the official employment service of Minor League Baseball, which organizes job fairs and networking opportunities at baseball’s Winter Meetings, conducts recruitment events on college campuses, and develops outreach and ongoing support systems for women and other underrepresented populations. Considerin...
“When Guys Shirts Come Off…”
August 13, 2019 16:00 - 40 minutes - 27.7 MBAll the young dudes, okay, many young dudes, get some attention from Patti and the Pottymouth this week. Our Atlanta Boyfriends, Ronald Acuna Jr. and Ozzie Albies, are tearing it up. Bo Bichette (not Boba Fett), of the Blue Jays, is so shiny we aren’t even talking about Vlad Jr. Patti takes a field trip to the Single A Ironbirds to scout first-round draft pick Adley Rutschman and is not disappointed. Pottymouth’s Nationals BF, Juan Soto, can’t stop hitting them out of the park. T...
Copa de la Diversión: The Hot Fun Cup
August 06, 2019 16:00 - 35 minutes - 24.6 MBPatti and the Pottymouth finally attend a Copa de la Diversión game with the Cangrejos Fantasmas. Once more, in English: we went to a Bowie Baysox game on a “Fun Cup” day, celebrating Hispanic culture, where the Baysox played as their alter-ego, the Ghost Crabs of the Chesapeake. And was Patti ever surprised to find that one of the Ghost Crabs was her Orioles boyfriend, Cedric Mullins, who was bumped down to AA to “get his Mojo working.” In other Boyfriend news, old guy makes histo...
It’s always Shark Week with Gerardo Parra
July 30, 2019 16:00 - 35 minutes - 24.5 MBMuch to Pottymouth’s delight, Patti finally embraces “Baby Shark.” Not as a song, of course, but as a builder of fan unity. This leads to a whole slew of rules, suggestions, and musings about fan participation (the Stretch is compulsory, but leave your Chop at home). Patti’s Cleveland BF Jose Ramirez is on a tear, making that early-season pick of league MVP not so ridiculous. Pottymouth’s Os BF Jonathan Villar is knocking it out of the park, showing off sexy defense, stealing ba...
Gaylord Perry’s Moonshot
July 23, 2019 16:00 - 27 minutes - 19.2 MBPatti and the Pottymouth celebrate the 50th anniversary of the Moon landing by sharing the story of Hall of Fame pitcher Gaylord Perry and one of the greatest coincidences in baseball history. You just can’t make this stuff up. Patti tries to add the story to her collection of anti-DH evidence, but timing is on Pottymouth’s side as the 2019 Hall of Fame induction ceremony, which happened moments before recording, included Edgar Martinez. So there. The announcement of the Heart and ...
We Actually Rooted for the Yankees
July 16, 2019 16:00 - 34 minutes - 23.7 MBThe Pulaski Yankees, that is. Patti and the Pottymouth road-tripped again, this time to Pulaski, VA (as Patti says, go to Roanoke and then keep going). After her interview in Episode 77, “Puig Fuels the Fracas,” GM Betsy Haugh invited your hosts to enjoy Ag Night at Calfee Field. She promised cows, and cows there were. Betsy was gracious enough to chat with us again after our day at the Best Rookie-level Ballpark in the country to check in on her first year as GM, almost halfway th...
Party at Napoli’s
July 09, 2019 16:00 - 26 minutes - 18.5 MBPatti and the Pottymouth fangirled in Cleveland over the All-Star Break. Patti cried meeting Omar Vizquel (“I love Omar”) and Pottymouth stammered during the No Crying in Baseball / Mike Napoli sandwich photo. Mike “Human Rain Delay” Hargrove demonstrated his moves. Your hosts danced at a Killers’ show and provided structural support to their fan base. Evidence of this and more on all of our social media sites. We tried to pull silver linings out of a lot of terrible situations ...
Don’t Pull a Puig in London
July 02, 2019 16:00 - 29 minutes - 20.2 MBPatti and The Pottymouth are packing their bags for All-Star Weekend in Cleveland, the land of Patti’s birth. There’s a happy dance for Anthony Rendon finally making the team and a check-in on who we are looking forward to seeing in the Big Game. The Cleveland Team and MLB are investing long-term in the community — it pays to host the All-Star Game. But before we leave, there’s a grooming segment. Fernando Tatis, Jr. is coming along nicely, thank you very much. Russell Martin is...
The White Sox and The Nationals are in First Place
June 25, 2019 16:00 - 46 minutes - 31.7 MBBreaking up is hard to do. Cleveland broke up with Leonys Martin, and so must Pottymouth. Patti and the Nationals say goodbye to Trevor Rosenthal, he of the formerly infinite ERA. The Chicago White Sox and the Washington Nationals are the first to take the next step in extending protective netting. In the same week that another fan seated just beyond the dugout netting in Dodger Stadium was hit in the head by a foul ball, this one off the bat of the hottest hitter in the league, ...
Pottymouth Votes for Mike Trout. Because of Weather.
June 18, 2019 16:00 - 25 minutes - 17.8 MBWhen did stealing home get to be a thing? Current boyfriend Leonys Martin just did it, and so did former boyfriend Elvis Andrus, and even never-gonna-be-a-boyfriend Rougned Odor. We can’t get enough of that. Patti can totally get enough of home runs, however. The pace is scary, and too much of a good thing is boring. The ball is juiced and she can prove it with just one statistic. Baseball science. Er, math. Pottymouth’s David Ortiz update includes mystery and intrigue, a surpri...
Keuchel and Kimbrel Keep Their Beards
June 11, 2019 16:00 - 35 minutes - 24.4 MBThe Nationals do Pride right, but Patti may still write a letter about rainbow jerseys. Big Papi, David Ortiz, heads to Boston for medical care after the shooting in Santa Domingo. Elvis Andrus gets in one more head rub, and a bathrobe, as the Rangers retire Adrian Beltre’s number. The long strange trip of this year’s Free Agency season has finally come to an end. It only took until the Draft. Craig Kimbrel signs with the Cubs thanks to the thriftiness of having Zobrist on the rest...
Thoughts, Prayers, and Protective Netting
June 04, 2019 16:00 - 41 minutes - 28.5 MBIs it drafty in here? Pottymouth 1) overviews the MLB draft process in which >1200 high school and college boys get a shot at their dreams, 2) plays the tiny violins for the Orioles yet again, and 3) explains why this is the week Dallas Keuchel and Craig Kimbrel will finally get signed. Patti goes on a rant just this side of PG-13 about protective netting. Yet another child was sent to the hospital after being struck by a 90 mph line drive foul ball. Tragic, and easily preventable....
Barack Obama is the Best Baseball Boyfriend
May 28, 2019 16:00 - 31 minutes - 21.7 MBFormer President Barack Obama hits a first-pitch double, completes a touchdown pass, buys organic produce and recognizes greatness in the children attending after-school programs at the Nationals Baseball Academy. Damn, he sets the Baseball Boyfriend bar high. Christian Yelich cross-trains hard, attending a Milwaukee Bucks game with some Green Bay Packers and chugging arena beer like a native son. Josh Bell is hitting homers hard and often. Patti’s Phillies BF Jean Segura went 16 ...
Ian Kinsler Out-Pottymouths the Pottymouth
May 21, 2019 16:00 - 39 minutes - 27.1 MBToday’s baseball math includes Victor Robles + Matt Grace = Patti, and Patti + Matt Grace = Gerardo Parra. Yes, it is a birthday / no GoT spoilers show. Matt Olson proves the hamate is the appendix of the hand. Leonys Martin says thank you and Ian Kinsler says F-you, much to Pottymouth’s delight. SI typecasts Patti, with Jason Heyward on her fantasy team. Your hosts propose expanding “hit for the cycle” to include mathematical and wildcard cycles. We celebrate Diamilette Quiles as s...
Gerardo Parra is Our New Best Friend
May 14, 2019 16:00 - 38 minutes - 26.4 MBWhere was Michael Brantley when Patti had a flat tire? Turns out he was rescuing other strangers in distress closer to Minute Maid Park, as boyfriends do. Pottymouth’s old Dodger BF Kiké Hernandez works some magic for her new BF Justin Turner. Addison Frickin’ Russell is back. The Panda = Mudcat+Bees. Albert Pujols historic RBI mark set off a new set of NCIB Rules, this time on catching baseballs in the stands. Gerardo Parra announces his arrival with the Nats with sexy defense and ...
Getting Fancy with the Stats
May 07, 2019 16:00 - 42 minutes - 28.9 MBPatti and the Pottymouth welcome Jenn Rubenstein of @QueerFancyStats to talk using gmLI, wOBA, and spreadsheets in the service of good. Through Jenn, the mad baseball skills of MLB homophobes generate donations to local LGBTQ organizations, as do successes of exemplary community leaders like National’s closer Sean Doolittle. This week’s cross-training segment looks at gender, and gender equity, from court decisions about Olympian Caster Semenya’s testosterone level to the #forthegam...
Carter Kieboom and Vlad, Jr.: The Kids Get to Play!
April 30, 2019 16:00 - 45 minutes - 31.3 MBTwo #1 prospects got the call this past weekend and Vladimir Guerrero, Jr. and Carter Kieboom did NOT disappoint. The Youthquake hit Nats Park as Juan Soto and Victor Robles joined Kieboom in homering in the same game, making history. Patti and the Pottymouth check in on their predictions a month in, and learn they are Not Good At This and perhaps should have thought about Cody Bellinger some more. In the occasional NCiB rules segment, we offer helpful hints on dressing for ballgame...
All Flip, No Drill: Standing with Tim Anderson
April 23, 2019 16:00 - 44 minutes - 30.6 MBPatti and The Pottymouth set up the context around the Tim Anderson fracas/ruckus/bruhaha. Can’t ignore that he’s the only African-American player on the White Sox. Shockingly, we come out on the side of Kids Today, and agreeing with Trevor Bauer. We welcome very special guest Emily Jaenson, General Manager of the Reno Aces, who tells us what it takes to run a Triple A affiliate. By the end of the show, our to-do list includes shopping for “Los Corazones de Reno” swag, calling South...
“If Trevor Rosenthal Pitches to Chris Davis” is So Last Week
April 16, 2019 16:00 - 33 minutes - 22.8 MBTrevor Rosenthal records three outs and Chris Davis has a three hit game, and all the best memes are over. It turns out that Ozzie Albies’ team-friendly extension is not just about his choices, but the ripple effect changes how other players are valued. Patti and Pottymouth have a friendly homerun smackdown over their picks for National League RoY, Pete Alonzo and Fernado Tatis, Jr, respectively. Pottymouth provides a rundown on the Trailblazer Series, where MLB is actively encourag...
Puig Fuels the Fracas
April 09, 2019 16:00 - 40 minutes - 27.6 MBPatti comes This Close to swearing like a sailor when Trump calls off MLB’s agreement with Cuba. Boyfriend Ronald Acuña, Jr. signs a deal for life-changing money, Christian Yelich becomes a spokesmodel for good in the world, and David Price wants to see Mookie Betts’ face everywhere. This week’s baseball math takes us to infinity and beyond with Trevor Rosenthal’s impossible ERA. Yasiel Puig clears the benches, fuels the fracas, and re-ups the ruckus. Not sure when it is permissible...
Pottymouth Keeps it PG-13
April 02, 2019 16:00 - 33 minutes - 23.1 MBPottymouth has the power to break up no-hitters while eating pizza, but Patti can’t get out of walk-up music hell. Christian Yelich just keeps hitting home runs, Yandy Diaz doesn’t need no stinkin’ launch angle, and catcher Russell Martin pitches a 1-2-3 inning for the Dodgers. Did Patti put him in the wrong category in the Fantasy Boyfriend League? Your hosts offer their playoff and award predictions. Surprising no one, Pottymouth says “Red Sox” a lot, but not as much as Patti says...
How many Margaritas can I get for this Chihuahua?
March 26, 2019 16:00 - 33 minutes - 22.9 MBPatti cross-trains for Opening Day by rocking her March Madness bracket. Pottymouth warms up with early morning baseball in Japan (thanks for everything, Ichiro). Fernando Tatis Jr is Johnny Hustle, but he doesn’t make the Opening Day roster. Matt Olsen was set to be Patti’s starting 1B, until he had hamate surgery. Yes, that’s a real thing. We’re all about fun facts and contract extensions this week, for superstar Mike Trout, for on-the-verge-of greatness Alex Bregman, and for Eloy...
MLB Makes Teams Hock Up Their Loogies
March 19, 2019 16:00 - 37 minutes - 25.9 MBPottymouth is in Ted Williams heaven and Patti wallows at the top of the Misery Index as we kick off the St. Patti’s Day show. The Blue Jays make some excellent promises around minor league pay. Astros manager AJ Hinch wins the dubious honor of the first premature ejection of the (pre)season, Bryce Harper makes news by falling down and getting back up, and both Adam Jones and Carlos Gonzalez land safe and sound. We share our starting lineups for our Fantasy Boyfriend Baseball League...
We Say “A-Rod” and “Mets” Way Too Many Times
March 12, 2019 16:00 - 32 minutes - 22.4 MBDaylight Savings Time and breakfast beer render us incapable of avoiding Alex Rodriquez’s engagement to Jennifer Lopez. We send our best to Tom Seaver of the Miracle Mets. Omnivore Patti explains to vegetarian Pottymouth why it is totally reasonable for Joe Kelly to suffer back problems after staffing a five-hour crawfish boil. We raise our breakfast beer to our girl, Jessica Mendoza, on her new gig with the Mets. Pottymouth claims the Cardinals pitching squad for her Fantasy team, ...
Patti Wears her Bryce Harper Shirt for the Last Time
March 05, 2019 17:00 - 42 minutes - 29.4 MBWe get past the feels to discuss the bigger picture of Bryce Harper’s record-setting agreement with the Phillies. Nolan Arenado also breaks contract records this week with his 8-year extension with the Rockies. What do these deals mean for other superstars? Ronald Guzman adopts a condor and starts a trend. Pottymouth uses her “keep one boyfriend” card on Mookie “Pookie” Betts, and Patti owes her a Jackie Wilson tutorial after selecting Jackie Bradley Jr. for her Red Sox boyfriend. T...
#71 - Spring Training for the Pitch Clock Guy
February 26, 2019 17:00 - 40 minutes - 27.8 MBPatti and the Pottymouth bask in the glow of watching our boys in the first spring training games. The dying embers of the hot stove bring us a Machado Free Agency object lesson, and a soft landing for Mike Moustakas. Predictably, Patti chooses Dr. Smooth, Michael Brantley, as her Astros boyfriend, while Pottymouth goes for young superstar Carlos Correa, of the World Series marriage proposal. Pottymouth makes Patti’s head spin by how fast she changes sides on the “stupid loser” twit...
#70 - Pottymouth Just Keeps Apologizing
February 19, 2019 17:00 - 44 minutes - 30.5 MBIn just one episode, Pottymouth apologizes to Carlos Asuaje, C.C. Sabathia, and Francisco Cervelli, and says “interpretive dance” and “papiamentu” while Patti condones inspirational quotes and uses “Cutie Pie” in a sports context. Hell has indeed frozen over. Max Scherzer, Jake Arietta, and Christian Yelich call foul on the free agency season. Yankee Boyfriends are not an easy sell to NCiB, so Pottymouth selected a Curaçaoan with a kickass mom, Didi Gregorious, and Patti chose barel...
#69 - Patti Wants to Pick a Fight
February 12, 2019 17:00 - 46 minutes - 31.9 MBFrank Robinson was a hero to your NCiB hosts, for Cleveland, for Baltimore, for Washington, and for Puerto Rico. RIP, Frank. MLB makes an excellent wording change. Pottymouth won’t let Patti pick a DH fight, yet. Maybe next week. Pottymouth continues building a Curaçaoan-heavy boyfriend team with her pick of A’s shortstop Jurickson Profar. Patti counters with Oakland’s breakout home run king Matt Olsen. Farther South in Dodgerland, Pottymouth shows generous Ginger Beard Justin Tur...
#68 - You Had Me at Baby Dahl
February 05, 2019 17:00 - 45 minutes - 31.1 MBPatti and the Pottymouth enjoy a civilized baseball conversation just hours before the football screaming begins. Nolan Arenado’s one year deal at the arbitration deadline sets a new record, and talks of a contract extension may save him from free agency drama. Our hometown Nationals get props for stellar execution of the offseason, no matter what Harper decides, while many teams just don’t seem to care. Pottymouth puts the Red Sox on notice that even diehard fans like her have thei...
#67 - Butts and Biceps
January 29, 2019 17:00 - 37 minutes - 25.5 MBA.J. Pollock signs before those other guys. The Tampa Bay Rays tell their shrinking fan base that their cash is not welcome at Tropicana Field. The Red Sox kick their White House visit further down the road. “Utility player” doesn’t mean what it used to mean, in the new world order of the shift, no ground balls, and a big fat bullpen. In a surprising turn of events, Pottymouth picks a nice guy, Daniel Robertson, and Patti goes for Cuban defector and “most jacked player in baseball”...
#66 - Babe Ruth, Deion Sanders, Thor and Loki
January 22, 2019 17:00 - 37 minutes - 25.9 MBIn her continuing quest to encourage the watching of winter baseball, Pottymouth teaches Patti Spanish baseball words. Adam Ottavino throws shade at Babe Ruth. Will Kyler Murray listen to Deion Sanders? The hot stove has cooled so much we pay attention to a “stupid loser” spat. We forget one or two of the five tools, but Pottymouth’s Mariner’s boyfriend, Mitch Haniger, has six. Patti did not pick J.P. Crawford just because he named his dogs after Marvel superheroes, but she could ha...
#65 - Pottymouth finds a Dream Job
January 15, 2019 17:00 - 34 minutes - 23.9 MBPottymouth’s Twittertale finally makes Patti stop defending Trevor Bauer. Yasmani Grandal puts a spark to the hot stove, and Kyler Murray brings back memories of Bo Jackson and Dieon Sanders. We both abandon our initial inclination to bend the rules for Shohei Ohtani and instead select Andrelton Simmons and Justin Upton as Angels boyfriends. Pottymouth gets to flaunt her Curaçao chops and Patti gets to say “I love Omar” and “hockey” in the same segment. Pottymouth’s pick of Juan So...
#64 - Redemption
January 08, 2019 17:00 - 33 minutes - 23.4 MBToday’s vocabulary word is “cazatalentos” as MLB scouts visit the Cuba finals for the first time. Nearly 200 free agents are waiting for Harper and Machado to get on with it already so they can have a turn. Both our Twins boyfriends have been suspended for drug use, PED or otherwise. Kinda Pottymouth’s wheelhouse, but Patti? Come, on! Eddie Rosario wins Pottymouth over with hurricane relief and visiting his teachers in Puerto Rico. Nelson Cruz hits the Patti trifecta with Boomsticks...
#63 - We Warned You, Sabathia
January 01, 2019 17:00 - 38 minutes - 26.3 MBCC Sabathia gets that unearned bonus and almost has a heart attack. We were THIS CLOSE in our predictions. We can’t completely shake our Dominican infielder boyfriend rut, but we add the Dad factor. For the Rangers, Pottymouth selects Yankee-killer Ronald Guzman, and Patti goes with super nice dude Scott Heineman. Closer to home, Pottymouth gets Phillies catcher Jorge Alfaro for real this time, and Patti takes newly-acquired All-Star Jean Segura, forcing her to say nice things about...
#62 - You Throw Like a Girl
December 18, 2018 17:00 - 44 minutes - 30.6 MBPatti and Pottymouth find a soulmate in Cami Kidder, director and producer of the upcoming documentary, “Throw Like a Girl.” Any story that starts in Red Sox fantasy camp and moves on to 11-year-old girls taking on the baseball patriarchy is okay by us. Before the interview, Patti defends Wyoming, for the first time ever, and later fesses up that Wyoming native Brandon Nimmo, that Smile Guy, is her Mets boyfriend. Luke Maile replaces Benny as her BF from the Greater Cincinnati area ...