New York Magazine's Sex Lives
116 episodes - English - Latest episode: about 7 years ago - ★★★★ - 114 ratingsA weekly podcast about sex, lust, dating, technology, coupling, porn, fetish and freakiness. But mostly sex. With New York Magazine’s sex columnist Maureen O’Connor.
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Episodes
A Quick Programming Note!
July 07, 2016 04:00 - 29 secondsHi Sex Lives listeners - due to some holiday-related scheduling issues, this week's show will come out a bit later this afternoon, instead of our normal morning release. Please check the feed again after 2pm today (Thursday July 7th, 2016) for our new episode. Apologies for the delay! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
The Sexual Self-Inventory
June 30, 2016 04:00 - 38 minutesAfter writing a column about figuring out the optimal number of premarital sex partners, The Cut's Mandy Stadtmiller discusses all the metrics she applies to her life - her sex life, her sobriety, her career, her relationships. But is sex quantifiable? What "counts" as sex, and why do we feel so compelled to count it, anyway? With Maureen O'Connor and David Wallace-Wells. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Porn for the Blind
June 23, 2016 04:00 - 40 minutesIt's real, real weird, and pretty amazing, and this week we talk to Nona Willis Aronowitz about the whole wide world of it - from indie audio porn on Reddit's Gone Wild Audio subreddit to PornHub's new "described video" function. (We also interview PornHub about just how and why they went about narrating Kim Kardashian's six tape). With Maureen O'Connor and David Wallace-Wells. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
The Woman Who Invented Dating
June 16, 2016 05:12 - 28 minutesThis week, we interview Moira Weigel, the author of "Labor of Love: The Invention of Dating," about how crazily recent - and purely American - the whole idea of dating is, why we still talk about it basically like it's the 1950s, and when it got to be so damn much work. (Blame the working-class woman who invented dating in 1896.) Oh, also about the word your grandmother used instead of "motorboating." With Maureen O'Connor and David Wallace-Wells. Learn more about your ad choices. Visi...
The Case for Arranged Marriage
June 09, 2016 19:17 - 40 minutesIs the most rational approach to marriage an arrangement? Guardian data editor Mona Chalabi parses the data on how sex changes over the course of a long-term relationship-- and presents the case for arranged marriages, while Rich Juzwiak presents the case for perpetual versatility. With Maureen O'Connor and David Wallace-Wells. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
The Best Lay in New York Lives in the Trump Tower
June 02, 2016 04:00 - 38 minutesOr so says Amy Rose Spiegel, who discusses her sexual memoir, Action: A Book About Sex, as well as slut phases, trampages, and which founding father she'd most like to fuck (Dolly Madison was a lucky lady). Plus, listener feedback about female orgasm and the agony of a hair-trigger gag reflex. With Maureen O'Connor. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Dating While Semi-Famous And/Or Black
May 26, 2016 14:35 - 32 minutesThis week, a live episode, taped as part of the Vulture festival, in which we go deep into the dating and sex life of Phoebe Robinson of 2 Dope Queens (among many many other comic endeavors). With Maureen O'Connor and David Wallace-Wells. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Falling in Love With Your Anonymous Sperm Donor
May 19, 2016 07:02 - 36 minutesThis week, we interview the sex- and romance-writer Alyssa Shelasky, maven of New York Magazine’s hugely popular sex diaries, who explains how that sausage gets made; how dreamy the Lebanese-American basketball player who donated his splooge to her sounded when she heard his voice; and also how she schedules make-out time in the one-bedroom apartment she shares with her eight-month-old. With Maureen O’Connor and David Wallace-Wells Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices...
Does She Have to Orgasm Every Time?
May 12, 2016 04:00 - 32 minutesIt's the ultimate sign of straight masculinity: the ability to get a woman off. So what happens when he fails? Dr. Ian Kerner, author of "She Comes First," and Vanessa Marin, who wrote "Her Orgasm Is Not About You," debate the relative importance of female orgasm in straight sex acts. How important is the orgasm gap? Who is responsible for fixing it? And are we supposed to be squirting now?! With Maureen O'Connor and David Wallace-Wells. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastc...
Is My Love Life Ruining My Social Life?
May 05, 2016 16:53 - 37 minutesShould your boyfriend be your best friend? Are you more popular single, or coupled? Is your social life preventing you from settling down? Alana Massey, columnist at The Cut, explains why her boyfriend isn't her best friend, but her cat is. (Even though her boyfriend saved her life, and her cat's life, from near-death in a fire.) Plus: a man who accidentally became an extra in a pornographic orgy tells his amazing tale. With Maureen O'Connor and David Wallace-Wells. Learn more about yo...
How You Choreograph an Awkward Circle Jerk
April 29, 2016 04:59 - 44 minutesThis week, we talk to feature film directors Joey Kuhn and Pamela Romanowsky about all the weirdness of directing sex scenes on screen, especially in an age of ubiquitous porn, why most movie sex is so so so bad, and what makes for an actually-memorable sex scene (like in, um, Cruel Intentions). With Maureen O'Connor and David Wallace-Wells Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
That Time I Dreamt I Blew My Dad
April 23, 2016 00:08 - 35 minutesThis week, everything you ever wanted to know about sex dreams: we talk to the man behind a dream database and take calls from listeners wondering what to make of that dream where they found their ex's dick attached to another man (for instance). With Maureen O'Connor and David Wallace-Wells. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Consider the Handjob
April 13, 2016 14:27 - 29 minutesThis week we're joined by Mandy Stadtmiller (immediately-legendary author of "Move Over Butt Stuff, Hand Jobs Are Back") and Ben Reininga of Vocativ to give the world's least-respected sex act something like its proper due. With Maureen O'Connor and David Wallace-Wells Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
What's the Shittiest Part About Breaking Up?
April 06, 2016 06:01 - 29 minutesShould you be able to register a breakup, like a wedding? Who keeps thefriends? Who keeps the cat? This week Rich Juzwiak helps us break down,from every possible angle, the awful mess of ending things. With MaureenO¹Connor and David Wallace-Wells. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Using Tinder in the Third Trimester
March 30, 2016 04:00 - 24 minutesAnna Davies got pregnant during a foreign fling on her "adult gap year" of world travel-- which is just the beginning of her Tinder-happy version of "Eat, Pray, Love." Nearly a year after her daughter's birth, the writer reflects on the wild journey that got here there-- including the surprising joys of online dating in her third trimester. Also up for discussion: the most popular professions on Tinder, the relative sexiness of firemen, and the world's most poorly deployed SnapChat dick pic. ...
Goodbye, Allison; Hello, Dick Picks!
March 23, 2016 04:00 - 29 minutesThis week we bid a tearful adieu to co-host Allison Davis, which we do mostly by talking about dong shots (with the woman behind the Critique My Dick Pick Tumblr) and taking a slew of listener voicemails. With Allison P. Davis, Maureen O’Connor, and David Wallace-Wells Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
How Loud Is Unusually Loud?
March 16, 2016 05:00 - 34 minutesThis week, we talk to data guru Mona Chalabi about just how much noisepeople actually make during sex, when it's normal to lose one'svirginity, and a ton of other number-crunchy subjects. Also: when is theoptimal time of day to fuck? With Maureen O¹Connor and DavidWallace-Wells. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
What Can't Period Sex Tell You About Someone's Sex Life?
March 09, 2016 15:41 - 25 minutesCarolyn Yates joins us to talk about Autostraddle's massive recent data analysis, which found period sex to be "the ultimate lesbian sexual indicator," among many other things. We also talk about a new study about just when you hit your sexual peak, and when you're happiest in a relationship (turns out, at frustratingly different ages). With Allison P. Davis, Maureen O'Connor, and David Wallace-Wells Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Is Clean Sex Possible (or Desirable)?
March 02, 2016 15:00 - 36 minutesThis week we grill cleanup icon Jolie Kerr (of “Ask a Clean Person”) about how to wash a sex toy, launder semen stains, slyly coverup an accident in bed, and actually a lot more. Also, the word horny: a historical debate. With Allison P. Davis, Maureen O’Connor, and David Wallace-Wells. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
How a Break-Up Can Ruin You
February 24, 2016 17:00 - 25 minutesThis week, Stanford psychologist Lauren Howe explains why some people take break-ups brutally and others really blithely—it actually has nothing to do with the breakup, or the relationship, and everything to do with the person. We also debate the recent "news" about Hitler's micro-penis, and just how much of history it can explain (very little!). With Allison P. Davis, Maureen O'Connor, and David Wallace-Wells. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Our Sex Robot Future (And How One Man Used It To F*** Himself)
February 19, 2016 21:00 - 43 minutesChris Trout has seen the future of sex and it is... trippy. Engadget's executive editor and #ComputerLove columnist describes his adventures with virtual sex, including a virtual stroll up a porn star's anus and virtual sex with himself. Meanwhile, 70 percent of women admit to wanting to bone their personal trainers, but is the gym a good place for hookups? And finally, confessions from a caller who masturbates in public. A lot. With Allison P. Davis, Maureen O'Connor, and David Wallace-Wells...
Can Balls Be Beautiful?
February 10, 2016 05:00 - 27 minutesWe debate the question at length with Brian Sloan, the veteran of the World’s Most Beautiful Vagina Contest who recently ran a much less attractive sequel with balls. We also debate quarterback Russell Wilson’s reliance on Bing to compliment the girlfriend he does not have sex with, and a female listener's voicemail about orgasming when she pees. With Allison P. Davis, Maureen O’Connor, and David Wallace-Wells Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
A New Emoji for Butt Play
February 03, 2016 05:00 - 29 minutesAmber Rose invented an emoji protocol for discussing butt play-- but is Kanye's relentless slut-shaming of his ex reason enough for her to butt-shame him? Meanwhile Nicholas Tana, director of masturbation documentary "Sticky: A (Self) Love Story," offers a cultural history of masturbatory shame-- and explains why Pee Wee Herman is an American hero. And finally, a challenge: Can you dream up a pornographic idea so depraved that it breaks Rule 34 of the internet? We can. Learn more about...
Where (and When) Is It OK to Jerk Off In Public?
January 27, 2016 05:00 - 32 minutesAlso, why are we so much more comfortable with public sex than public masturbation? We ask these and many other sex-etiquette questions to etiquette guru Mallory Ortberg (aka Dear Prudence). With Allison P. Davis, Maureen O’Connor and David Wallace-Wells Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
THE INCREDIBLE RISE OF INCEST PORN
January 20, 2016 05:00 - 25 minutesLast year, over the holidays, the number of searches for incest-themed videos on Pornhub and its competitors spiked dramatically, hundreds of percent in a single month, and only continued to grow all through 2015. So…what the f**k is that about? We asked Jesse Bering, author of "Perv: The Sexual Deviant in All of Us." We also talked about other data, just released this month by PornHub, surfacing a whole new set of super-interesting proclivities (like that the Italians are really into foot fe...
A Sex Ed Curriculum Built Out of Porn
January 13, 2016 05:00 - 31 minutesThis week we talk with Tristan Taormino about just what kids learn from PornHub—and how some sexually-explicit (and maybe even hot) video could make its way into American classrooms. Plus: Why are American women so unbelievably into furniture makers these days? And: Voicemails from listeners about the scourge of sex droughts.With Allison P. Davis, Maureen O’Connor, and David Wallace-Wells Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Your Penis is Disgusting
January 06, 2016 16:44 - 27 minutesThis week, a deep-dive into dirty voicemails (and return to racism in sexual preference, among other long-time obsessions). With Allison P. Davis and Maureen O'Connor. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Finally Paying Attention to Vagina Size
December 30, 2015 05:04 - 33 minutesThis week, a long talk with Kevin Allison, host of the expansive sex-heavy storytelling podcast Risk, about kink, the retreating horizon of outre sex, and whether having a thing for Asian guys is ok. Also, a new study suggests evolutionary biologists have spent way too much time thinking about dick. Probably true! With Maureen O'Connor and David Wallace-Wells. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Everything You Ever Wanted to Ask An Online Dating Ghostwriter
December 23, 2015 15:28 - 33 minutesThis week, we interview, at length, Lisa Hoehn—actually a genuine and full-time professional Tinder Cyrano. We also discuss a new paper arguing that women like being sexually objectified, so long as its by loving partners. Which is a finding that does not surprise Maureen in the least. And voicemails! With Maureen O’Connor and David Wallace-Wells. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Guys We F*****d
December 16, 2015 05:01 - 29 minutesThis week we interview podcast superstars Corinne Fisher and Krystyna Hutchinson about their project to interview all the men they’ve slept with, High Fidelity style. We also talk about the people using airbnb as a hook-up app (and whether this is what the company had in mind all along). With Allison P. Davis and David Wallace-Wells. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
What Drives Someone to Castration?
December 09, 2015 16:28 - 30 minutesThis week, we talk to Alexa Tsoulis-Reay, who's spent the last year interviewing men who've castrated themselves to "cure" their "sex addiction," women in relationships with their fathers, men in love with horses, and many other human outliers for her "What It's Like" series. We also check back in with William Lloyd, the man who took an Internet stand against cunnilingus. With Allison P. David, Maureen O'Connor, and David Wallace-Wells. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastch...
Orgasmic Childbirth Is A Thing
December 02, 2015 05:01 - 25 minutesAnd we go super deep on it, talking at length with Debra Pascali-Bonaro, who made a whole documentary about it (you may never forget these clips). We also speak about orgasms that make you deaf, with Sophie Saint Thomas, who speaks from experience, and debate what euphemisms for vagina a man can actually safely use. With Allison P. Davis, Maureen O'Connor, and David Wallace-Wells. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Whatever Happened to the 69?
November 25, 2015 05:01 - 27 minutesIt's the closest you can get to an orgy with just two people-- but has 69ing gone out of style? Also up for discussion: the joys of lazy sex, the terrors of vagina-spanking, controversial views on lubricants, and the most psychotic ex-boyfriends of all time, as ranked by Jennifer Wright, author of It Ended Badly: 13 of the Worst Breakups in History. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
How to Make Me Come Again
November 18, 2015 05:01 - 26 minutesWe’re joined by “Sylvia,” the anonymous creator of the blog “How to Make Me Come,” which is now a podcast as well. She tells us about the impetus to create an online compendium of real women sharing exact instructions for how to get them off, as well as her hopes that the project will help people get over their eternal fear of being honest about sex. Plus: what’s the deal with men who refuse to go down on women? With David Wallace-Wells, Maureen O’Connor, and Allison Davis. Learn more ...
How to Be Popular at an Orgy
November 11, 2015 05:01 - 24 minutesYou know that thing when you go to a party and nobody talks to you? The same can happen at orgies. Special guest Anna Pulley explains the agony of awkward orgy-going and how to troubleshoot it. Meanwhile, a new 3-D sex movie features a history-making cumshot. And why does Justin Bieber call his penis "she"? With Allison P. Davis, Maureen O'Connor, and David Wallace-Wells. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
All Pickup Artists Are Now Male Feminists
November 04, 2015 05:01 - 30 minutesNow that Neil Strauss and Tucker Max have found feminism (and grappled with sex addiction) is the age of pickup artistry dead? Or are gender, sex, and love dead -- as a new generation of agender, asexual, and aromantic college activists argue? And what's up with this Zola thing on Twitter? With Allison P. Davis, Maureen O'Connor, David Wallace-Wells, and guest Tim Murphy. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
HOT DOG VS. EGGPLANT VS. WHALE-BONE DILDO
October 28, 2015 04:01 - 27 minutesWill anything ever unseat the eggplant emoji as the ideal cartoon dong? And with all the R&D money at emoji HQ, can’t they do better than a taco for vagina? We also talk about Nantucket’s amazing history of whaling-industry-era dildos and just how much of a capital offense it is when an ex keeps using your Netflix password. With Allison P. Davis, Maureen O’Connor, and David Wallace-Wells Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Why Rihanna Gets Depressed After Sex
October 21, 2015 04:01 - 24 minutesThis week, we talk about the odd phenomenon of men trying to re-stretch their circumcised foreskins, whether post-sex blues says more about the fucking or more about you (it’s you!) and about how millenials (including Allison!) aggressively edit their social-media networks after a breakup. With Allison P. Davis, Maureen O’Connor, and David Wallace-Wells. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Why Do I Still Fantasize About My First Boyfriend?
October 14, 2015 04:01 - 22 minutesThis week, Maureen offers what she swears is the absolute last and final word on dating apps (her mantra: the tech doesn’t matter, just the people). We also discuss a new study about the way in which sexual types may be the result of early relationships actually imprint themselves on us as permanent preferences (offering an explanation for why everybody you’ve ever dated looks exactly the same, if that happens to be the case). And we applaud a recent spate of super-hot interracial lesbian sex...
Peak Sexual Satisfaction
October 07, 2015 02:12 - 29 minutesIs dating a lopsided numbers game in which women are screwed? We talk to Jon Birger, author of Dateonomics (who says, yes, totally). We also debate when in a relationship the sex is best (wondering why it takes people so long to figure out how to fuck each other properly) and whether it's possible to extract yourselves from a friends-with-benefits situation without kissing friendship goodbye. With Allison P. Davis, Maureen O'Connor, and David Wallace-Wells Learn more about your ad choi...
Is Absolutely Everyone Sexually Frustrated?
September 30, 2015 04:01 - 26 minutesIn this episode, we go long with Sex Myth author Rachel Hills, who argues that sex-soaked culture has given us sexual standards that literally no one’s sex life matches up with. With Maureen O’Connor and David Wallace-Wells. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
What Can’t the Pullout Method Do?
September 23, 2015 04:01 - 24 minutesIs monogamy over? A new Time magazine story says it should be, and we wonder just how much influence Dan Savage has had on our sex lives. We also discuss the (reliable) glories of the pull-out method, and how relationships change birth-control strategies. And: What an ENFP discovered about Myers-Briggs dating (avoid INTJs!). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
The Cultural History of the Bionic Dong
September 16, 2015 04:01 - 25 minutesWhen is the best season for boning? We debate the essay “Towards a Theory of Fall Fuckability" by Jamie Lauren Keiles. Also: a new study says the ideal dick for women is only barely bigger than average (Maureen and Allison disagree). And: we talk about Allison’s fantastic cultural history of the bionic cock. With Maureen O’Connor, Allison P. Davis, and David Wallace-Wells. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
How to Make Me Come
September 09, 2015 04:01 - 26 minutesThis week, we go long on sexual stamina—how long is too long, how long is just right, and when did we start taking an egg-timer to bed? The answer: very recently! You know, about the time men started actually caring about women’s pleasure. We also talk about whether masturbation can ruin your dick (or vagina!) and a blog soliciting sex-instruction manuals from women. With Maureen O’Connor, Allison P. Davis, and David Wallace-Wells Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices....
ALL RELATIONSHIPS LEAD TO ANAL
September 02, 2015 04:01 - 22 minutesHow did Ashley Madison build a billion-dollar casual-sex site without actually arranging any actual casual sex? We discuss the company’s insane fembot army and the pathetic gullibility of 22 million male users. Also: a new study says people in relationships bone in the butt more often. With Maureen O’Connor, Allison P. Davis and David Wallace-Wells. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
The World’s Most Beautiful Vagina
August 19, 2015 04:01 - 28 minutesA new “study” of sext-selfies makes the case that prettiness comes in all shapes and sizes (so long as the selfie, and the vagina, are well-lit). But how much can we trust this study, and how gross do we feel talking about ranking women’s bodies like this? We’ll also discuss Kevin Bacon’s crusade to get more penises into motion pictures, and some new data showing that relationships between sexters are actually stronger than more prudish texters. With Allison P. Davis, Maureen O’Connor, and D...
Why, When, and How Straight Men Have Sex With Each Other
August 12, 2015 04:01 - 27 minutesMaybe they’re not actually straight? We discuss a new book on the historyof clandestine same-sex coupling and a new dating-app-alarmism classic,“Tinder and the Dating Apocalypse.” With Maureen O’Connor, Rich Juzwiak,Jesse Singal, and David Wallace-Wells. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
The Secret History of the Glory Hole
August 05, 2015 04:01 - 28 minutesIt includes one with multiple holes in a single wall! Merely one of many amazing things we learn from talking to the man behind the new Museum of Sex history of hard-core and we go long on just how much sex goes on behind the scenes of the Bachelorette (and how this season finally broke the show's prudish code of sex etiquette). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
What Makes a Penis Beautiful?
July 29, 2015 04:01 - 28 minutesA team of scientists have determined universal penis beauty standards-- but do we agree with their findings? A heated debate about grooming, size, and male locker room culture follows. We also discuss a new study about race and online dating, and anthropological findings that suggest fewer than half of the world's cultures engage in romantic kissing. With Allison P. Davis, Maureen O'Connor, and guest host Rich Juzwiak. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Could You Date in the Nude?
July 22, 2015 04:01 - 31 minutesThis week: First you fall in love, then you get naked-- but what if it was the other way around? Maureen learns how nudists flirt, and Allison interviews the stars of her favorite TV show, Dating Naked. Plus, a visit to the Hooters of dicks. With Allison P. Davis, Maureen O'Connor, and David Wallace-Wells. More at thecut.com and nymag.com.This episode is sponsored by Showtime's "Masters of Sex." The critically acclaimed series "Masters of Sex" returns Sunday. New episodes air on Sundays at 10...