LET’S TALK ATTACHMENTS
121 episodes - English - Latest episode: 2 days ago - ★★★★★ - 12 ratingsWelcome to “Let’s Talk Attachments”, a podcast all about ATTACHMENT THEORY! My name is Jessica Da Silva and I’m a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist & Attachment Coach helping you transform the way you experience love by teaching you the ins and outs of your attachment style in a practical and relatable way.
Website: https://jessicadasilvacoaching.com/
Instagram: @thejessicadasilva
Tiktok: @jessicadasilvacoaching
Email: [email protected]
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Episodes
Four Steps to Connect to Your “Secure Self”
April 24, 2024 18:33 - 18 minutes - 17.4 MBIn this week's podcast episode, I share four practical ways to connect to your “secure self” so that you can make decisions from a place of authenticity versus insecurity. —— Attachment Coaching - Let’s work together - www.jessicadasilvacoaching.com
To Stay or Break-up? Leaving My Relationship of Six Years (Personal Share)
April 04, 2024 15:42 - 35 minutes - 32.6 MBMany of you know I was in a relationship for over six years. Though it was a beautiful relationship and healthy in many ways, some major core differences and incompatibilities made it challenging. In this episode, I share the struggle with navigating fear versus truth in our decisions and the importance of trusting yourself. ——— 1:1 Attachment Coaching - www.jessicadasilvacoaching.com
Overcoming Relationship Jealousy With Shanenn Bryant
March 14, 2024 19:27 - 43 minutes - 40.4 MBToday on the podcast, we have Shanenn Bryant, a relationship confidence expert, and the host of the Top Self podcast. Shanenn has inspired thousands to break up with bogus beliefs, crack the control code, and overhaul their insecure habits. We talk about: -How jealousy can manifest in your relationships. -How to change your relationship to jealousy. -Viewing jealousy as a symptom and solution to your underlying attachment wounds. -Steps to navigate jealousy in a healthy, secure way. ——— Fi...
Trauma Recovery for Attachment Styles With Rowan Garlow
March 01, 2024 13:30 - 51 minutes - 47.2 MBToday on the podcast, we have Rowan Garlow, a trauma recovery practitioner who utilizes Voice Dialogue, Somatic Experiencing, Inner Child, and Soul Retrieval for healing and integrating unresolved trauma. We talk about: -What is trauma recovery work? -What attachment trauma looks like specifically. -How trauma manifests in our behaviors. -Why your “over-reactions” are gateways to your healing. -How to heal attachment trauma. ——— Find Rowan: Website- www.rowangarlow.com Instagram- @rowangarl...
Why We Tolerate Difficult Relationships
February 19, 2024 17:40 - 22 minutes - 21.1 MBIn this episode, I talk about why each attachment style tolerates difficult or painful relationships, why we aren’t stuck to these ways of experiencing love, and tips on how to move beyond our limitations. —— Find me here: 1:1 Attachment Coaching - www.jessicadasilvacoaching.com Instagram - @thejessicadasilva
Simplifying the Four Attachment Styles with Dr. Anita Knight Kuhnley
February 08, 2024 13:00 - 57 minutes - 53.6 MBDr. Anita Kuhnley is an author, esteemed scholar, expert counselor, and speaker who just released a book called “The Four Relationship Styles: How Attachment Theory Can Help in Your Search for Lasting Love.” We talk about: -The breakdown of each relationship style (aka attachment style). -Strengths and challenges of each attachment style. -How knowing the relationship styles help us in dating and relationships. -If incompatible attachment style dynamics can work out for the long haul. -Tips...
Simplifying the Four Attachment Styles with Dr. Anita Kuhnley
February 08, 2024 13:00 - 57 minutes - 53.6 MBDr. Anita Kuhnley is an author, esteemed scholar, expert counselor, and speaker who just released a book called “The Four Relationship Styles: How Attachment Theory Can Help in Your Search for Lasting Love.” We talk about: -The breakdown of each relationship style (aka attachment style). -Strengths and challenges of each attachment style. -How knowing the relationship styles help us in dating and relationships. -If incompatible attachment style dynamics can work out for the long haul. -Tips...
Healthy vs. Unhealthy Compromise Within Relationships With Imani Tutt
February 01, 2024 20:26 - 36 minutes - 33.9 MBImani Tutt, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Intuitive Coach talks about relationship compromise, why it’s normal, and healthy versus unhealthy compromising. ——- Find Imani here: https://imaniintouch.com Instagram: @imani.intouch ——- Find Jessica here: www.jessicadasilvacoaching.com Instagram: @thejessicadasilva
Healthy vs. Unhealthy Compromise Within Relationships with Imani Tutt
February 01, 2024 20:26 - 36 minutes - 33.9 MBImani Tutt, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Intuitive Coach talks about relationship compromise, why it’s normal, and healthy versus unhealthy compromising. ——- Find Imani here: https://imaniintouch.com Instagram: @imani.intouch ——- Find Jessica here: www.jessicadasilvacoaching.com Instagram: @thejessicadasilva
Difference Between Relationship Anxiety and Relationship OCD with Dr. Holly Batchelder
January 24, 2024 12:00 - 41 minutes - 38.8 MBIn this week’s podcast episode, Dr. Holly Batchelder, a Seattle-based licensed clinical psychologist, shares her expertise on relationship anxiety and OCD, their major differences, how they manifest in our lives, and how to treat it to experience a fulfilling life. You can find Dr. Holly here: instagram: holly.phd webiste: www.hollyphd.com podcast: twinmindsunwind ——— You can learn more about attachment coaching and e-courses here: www.jessicadasilvacoaching.com
Difference Between Needs and Expectations
January 05, 2024 12:00 - 11 minutes - 11 MBIn this week's podcast episode, I talk about the difference between needs and expectations. Understanding this distinction can alleviate anxiety and create more fulfilling relationships. ————— 1:1 Attachment Coaching - https://www.jessicadasilvacoaching.com/coach-with-me-2 My Secure Self E-Course - https://jessicadasilva.mykajabi.com/my-secure-self-e-course
How To Stop Attracting Toxic People
December 27, 2023 12:00 - 16 minutes - 15.1 MBIn this week's podcast episode, I address the fear many of us hold about why we attract toxic people and the real (transformative) questions we need to be asking ourselves instead. ————— 1:1 Attachment Coaching - https://www.jessicadasilvacoaching.com/coach-with-me-2 My Secure Self E-Course - https://jessicadasilva.mykajabi.com/my-secure-self-e-course
How Alcoholic Parent(s) Influence the Development of Our Attachment Style
December 18, 2023 20:42 - 18 minutes - 17.2 MBPODCAST In this week's podcast episode, I share how having alcoholic parents (one or both) can influence the development of anxious, dismissive avoidant or fearful avoidant attachment style, as well as steps you can take to shift these patterns and learned identity. ————— 1:1 Attachment Coaching - https://www.jessicadasilvacoaching.com/coach-with-me-2 My Secure Self - https://jessicadasilva.mykajabi.com/my-secure-self-e-course
How I Navigate the Distance in My Relationship (Anxious - Avoidant Dynamic)
December 08, 2023 12:30 - 27 minutes - 25.4 MBIn this week's podcast episode, I share my personal experience with navigating the distance in my relationship, as we tend to spend long periods apart due to the nature of his work. I also talk about the challenges of anxious-avoidant dynamics and how we make it work. ————— 1:1 Attachment Coaching - https://www.jessicadasilvacoaching.com/coach-with-me-2 My Secure Self - https://jessicadasilva.mykajabi.com/my-secure-self-e-course
How To Navigate Relationship Ambivalence (Aka, Confusion and Indecision)
November 29, 2023 21:03 - 16 minutes - 15.4 MBRelationship ambivalence (aka, confusion or indecision) is very common for those of us who have an anxious, dismissive avoidant, or fearful avoidant attachment style. In this episode, I help you understand your ambivalence and give you steps to take on how to navigate these complexities with more clarity.
Putting Myself First with Alicia (Client Stories)
November 24, 2023 23:11 - 47 minutes - 44.2 MBToday on the podcast we have a special guest. Alicia is a former attachment coaching client of mine sharing her experience with having an anxious attachment style, learning to let go of control, prioritizing herself and her needs, healing from heartache and abandonment trauma, and understanding how her attachment style impacts so many significant areas of her life. ——————— $300 OFF Coupon Code: FLASHSALE https://jessicadasilva.mykajabi.com/my-secure-self-e-course ——————— 1:1 Attachment Coach...
How to Measure Your Progress in Developing a Secure Attachment Style
November 16, 2023 12:00 - 10 minutes - 9.82 MBDismantle misconceptions about developing a secure attachment style and learn how to measure your progress accurately. ——— Coach with me: jessicadasilvacoaching.com
How Each Attachment Style Experiences 5 Stages of a Relationship
October 26, 2023 19:43 - 21 minutes - 20.3 MBLearn about how each attachment style moves through the 5 relationship stages. This episode focuses highly on the insecure attachment styles (anxious, dismissive avoidant and fearful avoidant). ——— Coach with me: jessicadasilvacoaching.com
Normalizing “The Icks” in Dating and Relationships with Kelsey Wonderlin
October 10, 2023 11:54 - 49 minutes - 45.9 MBToday on the podcast, we have Kelsey Wonderlin. Kelsey is a licensed therapist and a dating and relationship coach. She helps women who struggle with anxiety attract & HOLD ONTO a healthy relationship. She is also passionate about debunking the myths many of us have been taught about what a healthy relationship looks like. In this episode, we dive deep into relationship anxiety, the realities of dating, and how to better differentiate what is our insecurity versus what is our truth. Kelsey ...
Navigating a Break-Up As Someone With an Anxious Attachment Style with Alexa (Client Stories)
October 02, 2023 15:57 - 50 minutes - 46.8 MBToday we have a special guest, Alexa. She is a mother, a humanitarian, a leader, a former client of mine, and just a beautiful soul who was willing to come onto the podcast and share her story of navigating love with an anxious attachment style, how understanding attachment theory brought so much clarity to her marriage, the challenges that come with anxious-avoidant relationship dynamics, her grieving process with the recent separation of her marriage and the lessons she has learned through ...
Can We Change Our Attachment Style? (The Honest Truth)
September 26, 2023 19:57 - 12 minutes - 11.5 MBIn this episode, I share what research says about whether we can actually change our attachment style. ——— Coach with me: www.jessicadasilvacoaching.com
Realities for Insecure Attachers in Relationships
September 07, 2023 20:43 - 11 minutes - 10.6 MBIn this episode, I share some hard truths about how insecure attachments (anxious, dismissive-avoidant, and fearful-avoidant variations) experience relationships in hopes of cultivating more self-acceptance and realistic expectations for themselves and others. ——— Coach with me: www.jessicadasilvacoaching.com
Normalizing Insecurities and Relationship Anxiety
August 23, 2023 23:35 - 13 minutes - 12.4 MBIn this episode, I share my experience with relationship anxiety in hopes of normalizing the ebbs and flows that naturally occur in relationships, especially those with insecure attachments. ——— Coach with me: www.jessicadasilvacoaching.com
Why Anxious and Avoidant Attachment Attract Each Other
August 15, 2023 21:29 - 14 minutes - 13.8 MBIn this episode, I share why anxious and avoidant attachments are attracted to each other from an attachment lens, and how they can work towards creating a secure bond. These tips apply for all attachment style dynamics. ——— Attachment Coaching: https://jessicadasilvacoaching.com/coach-with-me-2/
How Understanding Attachment Styles Can Help Your Relationships
August 08, 2023 18:24 - 12 minutes - 11.9 MBIn this episode, I share how understanding attachment styles can help your relationships in a multitude of ways. This includes relationships with partner, friends, family, and colleagues. ——— Attachment Coaching: https://jessicadasilvacoaching.com/coach-with-me-2/
Differences Between Coaching and Therapy
August 02, 2023 19:42 - 13 minutes - 12.9 MBIn this episode, I share some major differences between coaching and therapy, in order to help you identify which approach is best for you. I also share why I transitioned from working as a Mental Health Therapist to an Attachment Coach. ——— Attachment Coaching: https://jessicadasilvacoaching.com/coach-with-me-2/
Set Boundaries & Reclaim Your Power with Arnie Chin (Client Stories)
June 20, 2023 18:11 - 51 minutes - 47.5 MBWhat you'll learn… * The challenges of co-parenting and how to navigate it in a secure way * The importance of setting boundaries to reclaim your power * How to identify red flags in a relationship * Overcoming toxic relationships * Dating as a single mom ——— 1:1 Attachment Coaching - www.jessicadasilvacoaching.com
Set Boundaries & Reclaim Your Power with Arnie (Client Stories)
June 20, 2023 18:11 - 51 minutes - 47.5 MBWhat you'll learn… * The challenges of co-parenting and how to navigate it in a secure way * The importance of setting boundaries to reclaim your power * How to identify red flags in a relationship * Overcoming toxic relationships * Dating as a single mom ——— 1:1 Attachment Coaching - www.jessicadasilvacoaching.com
How Attachment Styles May Self-Sabotage Dating & Relationships
June 12, 2023 11:17 - 21 minutes - 19.7 MBWhat you'll learn… * Defining relationship self-sabotage. * How each attachment style (including secure attachments) may sabotage dating and relationships. * Why they behave in these unhealthy ways. * How to stop pushing those you love away. ——— 1:1 Attachment Coaching - www.jessicadasilvacoaching.com
Unhealthy Vs. Healthy Ways Attachment Styles Communicate Needs
May 26, 2023 19:07 - 24 minutes - 22.9 MBWhat you’ll learn in this episode: -Why we have difficulty communicating our needs. -The consequences of not communicating our needs directly. -How each attachment style communicates their needs. -Healthier ways of communicating your needs to create relationship satisfaction. ———— 1:1 Attachment Coaching: https://jessicadasilvacoaching.com/coach-with-me-2/ My Secure Self E-Course: https://jessicadasilva.mykajabi.com/my-secure-self-e-course
How Each Attachment Style Parents Their Children
May 19, 2023 20:23 - 19 minutes - 18.5 MBWhat you’ll learn in this episode: -How each attachment style parents their children. -How to form secure bonds with your children. -Why you shouldn’t feel bad about your parenting style. -Why it’s important to break these generational patterns. ———— 1:1 Attachment Coaching: https://jessicadasilvacoaching.com/coach-with-me-2/ My Secure Self E-Course: https://jessicadasilva.mykajabi.com/my-secure-self-e-course
Navigating Relationship Anxiety For Fearful Avoidant Attachment with Bouket (Client Stories)
May 02, 2023 15:00 - 45 minutes - 42.5 MBIn this episode, former client, Bouket, shares her experience navigating her fearful avoidant attachment style. We touch on relationship anxiety, intuition vs. fear, finding secure love, managing triggers, balancing the masculine/feminine, and so much more. ———— 1:1 Attachment Coaching: https://jessicadasilvacoaching.com/coach-with-me-2/ My Secure Self E-Course: https://jessicadasilva.mykajabi.com/my-secure-self-e-course
Navigating Relationship Anxiety with Bouket
May 02, 2023 15:00 - 45 minutes - 42.5 MBIn this episode, former client, Bouket, shares her experience navigating her fearful avoidant attachment style. We touch on relationship anxiety, intuition vs. fear, finding secure love, managing triggers, balancing the masculine/feminine, and so much more. ———— 1:1 Attachment Coaching: https://jessicadasilvacoaching.com/coach-with-me-2/ My Secure Self E-Course: https://jessicadasilva.mykajabi.com/my-secure-self-e-course
Navigating Relationship Anxiety (specifically for fearful avoidant attachment style) with Bouket
May 02, 2023 15:00 - 45 minutes - 42.5 MBIn this episode, former client, Bouket, shares her experience navigating her fearful avoidant attachment style. We touch on relationship anxiety, intuition vs. fear, finding secure love, managing triggers, balancing the masculine/feminine, and so much more. ———— 1:1 Attachment Coaching: https://jessicadasilvacoaching.com/coach-with-me-2/ My Secure Self E-Course: https://jessicadasilva.mykajabi.com/my-secure-self-e-course
What If Your Relationship Needs Change?
April 18, 2023 19:46 - 18 minutes - 17.5 MBIn this episode, I share how common it is for our relationship needs to change, how that impacts our life, how to identify what those needs are, and how to navigate those insecurities in a healthy way. 1:1 Attachment Coaching: https://jessicadasilvacoaching.com/coach-with-me-2/ My Secure Self E-Course: https://jessicadasilva.mykajabi.com/my-secure-self-e-course
Saving My Relationship Through Saving Myself (A personal share on meeting my needs)
January 16, 2023 00:34 - 28 minutes - 26.7 MBWhy did I move away from my fiancé after getting engaged? In this episode, I share my personal experience with saving my relationship through saving myself. Also, how to know the difference between self-sacrifice versus self-neglect. ______ My Secure Self E-Course: https://jessicadasilva.mykajabi.com/my-secure-self-e-course —— 10% discount code: MEETMYNEEDS
Anxious Attachments & Long Distance Relationships with Zahirah Evitt
December 27, 2022 20:52 - 49 minutes - 45.6 MBFree 5-Day Series Attachment Style Guide: https://jessicadasilvacoaching.lpages.co/attachement-guide/ My Secure Self E-Course: https://jessicadasilva.mykajabi.com/my-secure-self-e-course Find me at: Instagram: @thejessicadasilva Tiktok: @jessicadasilvacoaching Coach with me: www.jessicadasilvacoaching.com Free Attachment Style Quiz: www.jessicadasilvacoaching.com
Attachment Styles and Hook-Ups
November 18, 2022 13:00 - 19 minutes - 18.1 MBFree 5-Day Series Attachment Style Guide: https://jessicadasilvacoaching.lpages.co/attachement-guide/ My Secure Self E-Course: https://jessicadasilva.mykajabi.com/my-secure-self-e-course Find me at: Instagram: @thejessicadasilva Tiktok: @jessicadasilvacoaching Coach with me: www.jessicadasilvacoaching.com Free Attachment Style Quiz: www.jessicadasilvacoaching.com
Honoring Your Anxious Attachment Style and Creating More Security with Chris Rackliffe
October 27, 2022 17:33 - 53 minutes - 49.5 MBToday's guest is Chris Rackliffe. Chris is an author and Anxious Attachment Coach who shares his personal story, wisdom, and tips to guiding anxious attachers into more joy and fulfillment. Book: It’s Good To See Me Again Tiktok: @crackliffe Instagram: @crackliffe ------------- My Secure Self E-Course: https://jessicadasilva.mykajabi.com/my-secure-self-e-course Find me at: Instagram: @thejessicadasilva Tiktok: @jessicadasilvacoaching Coach with me: www.jessicadasilvacoaching.com Free Atta...
Benefits of Dating Each Attachment Style
October 18, 2022 11:00 - 20 minutes - 18.5 MBMy Secure Self E-Course https://jessicadasilva.mykajabi.com/my-secure-self-e-course Find me at: Instagram: @thejessicadasilva Tiktok: @jessicadasilvacoaching Coach with me: www.jessicadasilvacoaching.com Free Attachment Style Quiz: www.jessicadasilvacoaching.com
How Attachment Styles Cope With Relationship Anxiety (Activating & Deactivating Strategies)
October 08, 2022 12:00 - 15 minutes - 14 MBIn this episode, I talk about how the insecure attachment styles (anxious, dismissive avoidant and fearful avoidant) cope with relationship anxiety. ---------------- My Secure Self E-Course: https://jessicadasilva.mykajabi.com/my-secure-self-e-course Find me at: Instagram: @thejessicadasilva Tiktok: @jessicadasilvacoaching Coach with me: www.jessicadasilvacoaching.com Free Attachment Style Quiz: www.jessicadasilvacoaching.com
How To Reverse The “Caretaker Role” (for anxious and fearful avoidant attachments)
October 01, 2022 15:27 - 18 minutes - 16.8 MBIn this episode, I talk about how (and why) anxious and fearful avoidant attachments identify as “caretaker”, “savior” and/or “fixer” in their relationships and how to shift these roles in order to promote more balanced relationships. ---------------- My Secure Self E-Course: https://jessicadasilva.mykajabi.com/my-secure-self-e-course Find me at: Instagram: @thejessicadasilva Tiktok: @jessicadasilvacoaching Coach with me: www.jessicadasilvacoaching.com Free Attachment Style Quiz: www.jessic...
The Feminine and Masculine Polarity of Attachment Styles with Natalie Kennedy
September 21, 2022 02:10 - 1 hour - 63 MBIn this episode, Relationship Anxiety Coach and founder of Anxious Love Coach, Natalie Kennedy, shares her personal experience with relationship anxiety, her process for managing this anxiety, the multidimensionality of attachment styles, as well as how she uses feminine and masculine polarity to create balanced relationships. ______________ Natalie Kennedy: Instagram @anxiouslovecoach Website: www.anxiouslovecoach.com ---------------- My Secure Self E-Course: https://jessicadasilva.mykajabi...
Owning Your Anxious Attachment Style with Rikki Cloos
September 14, 2022 12:00 - 1 hour - 56.7 MBIn this episode, writer and content creator behind @anxiousheartsguide, Rikki Cloos, shares the healing power of owning your anxious attachment style. She also gives tons of helpful insights and tips on how to become more securely attached yourself. ______________ Rikki Cloos: Instagram @anxiousheartsguide Book: The Anxious Hearts Guide ---------------- My Secure Self E-Course: https://jessicadasilva.mykajabi.com/my-secure-self-e-course Find me at: Instagram: @thejessicadasilva Tiktok: @je...
How To Soothe Your Anxiety with Gabrielle Gonzalez, LMFT
September 08, 2022 12:00 - 51 minutes - 48 MBIn this episode, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist + Mindfulness Expert Gabrielle Gonzalez shares her challenges with having an Anxious Attachment Style and how self-soothing has helped her cultivate more security within herself and her relationships. Gabrielle shares the benefits of emotional regulation on the brain overt time, as well as some quick tips and strategies for all attachment styles to use when they're feeling anxious. ————————— Gabrielle Contact: ggonzalez@mindfulrevampinc....
How We Restored Our Fearful Avoidant Mother/Daughter Relationship with Jessica and Denise Da Silva
September 01, 2022 21:09 - 54 minutes - 50.7 MBMy goal with this podcast is to give you guys an inside look into my relationship with my mother. If you’ve been listening for a while, you know my mom has played a huge role in my prior fearful avoidant attachment style. Even though we have our rough patches till this day, we’ve both learned to become more secure in our own ways, thus helping us maintain our relationship. ______________ My Secure Self E-Course: https://jessicadasilva.mykajabi.com/my-secure-self-e-course Find me at: Instag...
How Each Attachment Style Manages Financial Insecurity Within Relationships With Ed Coambs
August 23, 2022 19:44 - 1 hour - 56.7 MBIn this episode, Ed Coambs, a Marriage and Family Therapist and Certified Financial Therapist & Planner, talks about how each attachment style experiences financial anxiety within a relationship and insights on how to approach it in healthier, secure ways. ————————— Find Ed Here: Website: www.healthyloveandmoney.com Book: The Healthy Love & Money Way: How The Four Attachment Styles Impact Your Financial Well-Being. Course: The Couples Guide to Financial Intimacy Instagram: @healthylovea...
Healing My Avoidant Attachment Wounds with Ren Russ
August 16, 2022 11:00 - 1 hour - 74.2 MBIn this episode, guest speaker Ren Russ talks about her challenges in dating and relationships with having an avoidant attachment style. Ren speaks to the complexities and the multidimensional nature of our attachment style(s). If you’re ready to understand the fears that drive the avoidant’s behaviors and how to become more secure, definitely tune into this conversation. ————————— Ren Russ Contact: [email protected] Instagram: @blondelobotomy ______________ My Secure Self E-Course:...
What To Do When Your Needs Are Not Being Met
August 11, 2022 11:00 - 16 minutes - 15.5 MBIn this episode, I talk about some key essential elements for deciphering whether your needs are or are not being met in your relationship and what to do. This episode will give you clarity moving forward. ————————— Values List: https://drive.google.com/file/d/16wyOMzM749bJVtWIAi1dNX89qvxWB_0c/view?usp=sharing My Secure Self E-Course: https://jessicadasilva.mykajabi.com/my-secure-self-e-course ______________ Find me at: Instagram: @thejessicadasilva Tiktok: @jessicadasilvacoaching Coach w...
The Relationship Survival Kit w/ Jessica Da Silva and Jemma Joel
August 03, 2022 19:27 - 57 minutes - 53.6 MBTodays podcast episode is a little different as I am sharing an interview in which I was a guest on Jemma Joels The Dating Diaries Podcast. I loved our conversation so much that I asked her if I could share the episode on my personal podcast as we touch on a lot of commonly asked questions: —How to create a healthy and happy relationship considering our attachment styles?—How to tell someone’s attachment style in the early stages of dating? —The difference between self sacrifice and self ne...