9| Create Attraction Through Emotional Strength w/ Dr. David Tian

Quote From the Episode: “As long as you treat it [getting good with women] like a hobby, you are never going to get good at it” – Dr. David Tian About Dr. David Tian: Dr. David Tian is the founder of the Aura Dating Academy and a top dating coach in Asia, based out of […]

The post 9| Create Attraction Through Emotional Strength w/ Dr. David Tian appeared first on Men's Dating Mastery.

Quote From the Episode:

“As long as you treat it [getting good with women] like a hobby, you are never going to get good at it”

– Dr. David Tian

About Dr. David Tian:

Dr. David Tian is the founder of the Aura Dating Academy and a top dating coach in Asia, based out of Singapore. His academic background is in Religious Philosophy and Psychology. He holds a PhD from the University of Michigan and has worked as a professor at the Department of Philosophy at the National University of Singapore. In recent years, David has collaborated with top social and evolutionary psychologists in Asia on empirical research in those fields. As such, David takes an empirically grounded approach to dating, women and socializing, that is rooted in social, evolutionary and neuropsychology.

The Highlights:

How mirror neurons impact your emotional state and project onto the emotional state of the woman
A system for cultivating your emotional strength and leveraging “honest expression” to get there
The discipline and work required to achieve success with women
Challenges faced by Asian men dating in North America and some pragmatic advice to overcome them
A wild story about David’s encounter with the Chinese mafia!!!

Show Summary:

This conversation covers a broad range of topics. Dr. David Tian discusses the relationship between neuroscience and a man’s interactions with women, cultivating emotional strength, expressing yourself honestly, the challenges faced by Asian men dating in North America and a wild story about the Chinese mafia, that you won’t want to miss.

We begin the conversation with mirror neurons, which are located in the brain and are responsible for triggering reciprocal feelings based on perceived stimuli. This process causes us to feel what another person is feeling and results in subsequent responses such as fight or flight, for example. This reaction is automatic, meaning that we cannot choose whether or not we have it. And since most guys are completely unaware of their emotions (often confusing them with thoughts), they lack the ability to influence the emotions of a woman while interacting with her.

This leads us into a conversation about one of David’s “systems” that is summarized with the following formula: Attractiveness = Emotional Strength + Honesty (ASH). It means that your attractiveness as a man is determined by how emotionally strong you are and how honestly you are able to express yourself. David then proceeds to explain how you can cultivate emotional strength and how you can leverage honesty to get there.

Later, instead of allowing me to lead the discussing into another one of his systems, David points out that guys tend to obsess too much over various “systems” or “frameworks”. He suggests that any number of “systems” could help a guy get where he wants to go. However, what is more important is to respect the significance of this area of his life and to put in the work. As he so powerfully states, “as long as you treat it [getting good with women] like a hobby, you are never going to get good at it”.

We also talk about the unique challenges that Asian men face dating in North America, due in part to negative stereotypes. David points out that by highlighting a problem you make it larger than it needs to be. He suggests that by cultivating more universally attractive qualities than other men, you can make race a non-factor. He also gives very pragmatic advice by saying that you can work around negative stereotypes by being aware of what they are and demonstrating contrasting characteristics.

To wrap up the episode, David shares a wild story about his run in with the Chinese mafia, which I won’t spoil for you but trust me, you will want to stick around for this one!

Advice:

David explains how the mentality of saying “yes” to life’s opportunities can help you improve with women.

Contact Dr. David Tian:

Aura Dating Academy: www.auradating.com

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Comments:

If you have any comments, questions or suggestions regarding this episode, you can leave them below or email me directly at [email protected].

The post 9| Create Attraction Through Emotional Strength w/ Dr. David Tian appeared first on Men's Dating Mastery.