The Day I Realized I had Internalized Racism - Episode 4

Growing up in the south and hearing about racism all the time became a norm.  I didn't know that I was being indoctrinated with the idea that "white" is better by simply being told all the time how things are and how things used to be.  It wasn't until I left and went to a school district that was predominately white that I realized I had internalized this narrative.  

After proving that I belonged not because I was fulfilling the quota but because I was a brilliant teacher, I still felt like that because I was at a 97% white school, that they were better and something to show me.  I felt like I had nothing to offer and that I would be a student of their brilliance.  I soon found out that teaching in the areas that I had taught for over 7 years made me a better teacher because my muscle of creativity, discipline, and meeting kids were they were was stretched to the max.  I didn't know how good I was until I stepped into a space where teachers didn't have to exercise the same "teacher muscles" that I stretched. 

Even with all of that, I still felt like an imposter and did not perform at the level that I knew I could perform.  It was after a "cuss out" from one of my good friends that I got my act together and went into the classroom with the idea that I am equal and I should love all these students no matter if they look like me or not.  That day changed my life and I am forever grateful to my friend Antuan for letting me know the hard truth of my biases. 

Today I am glad I had this experience.  I learned a lot and it made me a better teacher.  We all have biases that handcuff us to lies that we have frame as the truth.  It's good to have people in our life who can tell us the truth and make us deal with what's negatively impacted our progress.  Whenever I share the plight of Black people in this country, I want the listeners to hear the overcoming power of a people who have chosen not to give up instead of the narrative of a people who deserve to be considered less than.  I hope by sharing this it opens you up to some things you need to dismantle in your thought life so you can love all students, all people, no matter their race! 

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I look forward in helping your students, teachers, parents, and any educational stakeholder reach mastery.  #MasteryForAll