Marked Safe: A Disaster Podcast

I Was Born in a Pair of Pants: Sylvestre Matuschka, Disaster Fetishist

This week, Melanie starts a rumor about Brianne's death, the bat dresses come out of the closet, Melanie jinxes everyone repeatedly, the cursed Midwestern food bracket comes to a close, we have merch, Melanie tells us things to make us clutch our pearls, dinosaur length references return to the podcast, Brianne has advice for Netflix, and we complete a Melanie episode bingo board. Content warnings: deaths of family members, terminal illness/hospice care, pregnancy loss, car accidents, train...

Barely Even Friends: Zoo & Aquarium Disasters Part 2

This week, Melanie has a gift and a burden, we reminisce about the smells that wouldn't leave us, the Midwestern food bracket prepares for a savory-ass showdown, Melanie continues her beef with Ohio, Brianne wants a vision board, an article was clearly written by a dude, Melanie buys a book, Brianne's politeness brings Satan into the picture, Binky bites the dinky, Lil Wayne and a polar bear have things in common, we get sleepy about zoo animals, and sharks aren't being carried like princess...

HGTV Ethical Makeovers: Zoo & Aquarium Disasters Part 1

This week, Brianne throws herself a curveball in Midwestern food brackets, Melanie matches energy, some maintenance staff have excessive job responsibilities, playful tigers are not necessarily whimsical, we float a new HGTV show, and a New Year's wish goes wrong. Content warnings: sometimes graphic death of animals from around 30:00 on, brief mention of discussion of suicide/depression 13:20-15:30, aquarium leak, inhumane zoos, tiger attack, limb loss/amputation, death by drowning, structu...

Figure It Out, Amanda!: Apple Watch Survival Stories

This week, Melanie's the ho, the midwest abandons God, Brianne gets a little defensive, Melanie has advice about boning, Captain Nash saves a life, and we're all on the same page about Ohio. Content warnings: pregnancy loss, loss of pet, near-drowning, COVID-related isolation, broken bones. Links: Apple Confirms #TattooGate Problem is Real Apple Watch Apple Watch 4 Adds ECG, EKG, and More Heart-Monitoring Capabilities Apple Watch fall detection helps save life of 92-year-old farmer after f...

Sweet Summer Scientist: Spontaneous Human Combustion

SHOW NOTES This week, we break some news too terrible even for a bat dress, two yummy sandwiches go head to head, Melanie adds to the Quicksand Irrational Fears Hall of Fame and gets aggressive about pancakes. Content warnings: second trimester loss, grief, funeral planning, death by burning, alcoholism, animal experimentation. Links: 06 Jul 1951, 12 08 Jun 1805, 3 13 Jan 1819, 2 15 Feb 1828, 1 20 Apr 1822, 2 31 Oct 2019, T6 A fire within Burn, Baby, Burn: Understanding the Wick Effect De...

You Should Be Panicking: 1999 Bridge Creek–Moore Tornado

SHOW NOTES Melanie isn't nervous but Brianne has stage fright, Melanie doesn't want her sex tape released, Brianne has her most controversial hot take of all time and most upsetting episode of all time, we learn about the Fujita scale together and acknowledge that the world needs thrill-seeking bubbas. Content warnings: tornadoes, missing spouse, severe injuries, brain injury/memory loss, very sad death of mother in front of child at 44:15, injured/imperiled baby who survives, infant death...

Heave and Hump: Niagra Falls Ice Bridge Disaster

This week, we write wedding vows, the battle of the beef goes down, a miniature shantytown full of miniature shopkeepers appears, we briefly achieve moral superiority over Canadians, Brianne plans international crimes, Melanie makes everyone cry, and we really want your bucket lists. Content warnings: death of grandparent, postpartum depression, hypothermia, drowning death, first responder PTSD. Links: 05 Feb 1912 05 Feb 1912 05 Feb 1912 05 Feb 1912 06 Feb 1912 06 Feb 1912 A Dedication Bor...

Dry Your Tears with Piles of Cash: The Cocoanut Grove Fire

This week, Ava has concerns about Black Friday, we revisit Momo and raise theories on Jerry's whereabouts, Brianne's villain origin story is finally revealed, fan favorite funeral potatoes appear on the bracket, a man whose name means fox stands up to the mafia, a sexy move with a lightbulb goes terribly wrong, we get mad at hospitals and float some alternatives to blood donation, a young man gets Final Destination-ed, Melanie loves mushy bananas in her mouth, and Brianne has on-air beef wit...

You're Automatically Haunted: Lighthouse Disasters

This week, Melanie does a cemetery crawl, Brianne gets inspired by pettiness beyond the grave, alligator feet present a setback for the anti-smoking lobby, green beans ruin the day, Melanie victim blames and slut shames sheep, and lightkeepers are all haunted. Content warnings: cemeteries/graves/decomposition, drugs, Hurricane Katrina deaths, drowning, boat capsizing, structural fire, burn injuries, adult jokes, depression/psych meds. Links: 13 Jan 1886, 4 16 Tales that Make these Historic...

What Boy Wouldn't?: Urban Legends Part 2

AUDIO DISCLAIMER: Melanie is at it again - she attempted a new recording set-up and the audio did not work out as planned. We've learned our lesson and won't be mixing it up again, sorry for the iffy sound this week! This week, the Midwestern food bracket has two tasty contenders, Melanie forgets this is a family show and is too willing to exhume a corpse, sewer alligators get gaslit out of existence, Brianne faces her phobia head-on for the sake of research, and reptiles encounter labia ye...

Monstrosities Abounded: Urban Legends

This week, Brianne throws a wrench in the Midwestern food bracket on day one, Melanie is forcibly drafted into the world of hot takes, we investigate the secret lives of farm children, Brianne has questions about necking, and we offer legal advice for anyone with a Kyle in their inbox. Content warnings: vomiting/nausea, adult jokes, murder, pigs eating people, violence, robbery, brief mention of rape, decapitation, bugs/spiders laying eggs under your skin, very gross veterinary medicine sto...

Butts to Nuts: Waverly Hills Sanatorium

This week, Melanie wants to listen to the podcast in space with Jeff Bezos, Brianne aspires to chaotic good behavior, the Florida man bracket crashes to an end, TAG continues to pull strings, Melanie wants to suckle a cow, lessons are learned about rabies testing, we pause to fact-check an infamous Marilyn Manson rumor, Melanie has concerning beliefs about dentists, we rank fire safety devices, and Melanie finally misses a dirty joke opportunity. Content warnings: tuberculosis, decapitation...

Happy Birthday, It's an Asylum Fire: Seacliff Insane Asylum

This week, Melanie is WRONG, a bet is made, the Wendy's alligator goes out to pasture, TAG is an evil puppeteer, miners are poetic, history loves insane asylums, gold rushes, and white men, Brianne has hot takes on lobotomies, Robert Lawson ain't shit, and Melanie is doing Count Dante. Content warnings: fictional addiction, alcoholism, housefire, deaths of children, and suicidal ideation, old-timey ableist language, sexism, domestic violence, murder to escape domestic violence, masturbatio...

Here for the Party: Yoshihiro Hattori

This week, we put on our gray business suits and campaign in Ohio, Brianne reveals herself to be a villain, an alligator in someone's pants emerges as a frontrunner, the Midwestern food bracket elicits a strong emotional response, Melanie hopes for a big snake, America is nothing to get excited about, Melanie disrespects the wishes of rougarous and gets spiderwebs in her bush, a self-proclaimed country boy is a reliable employee at Winn-Dixie and not much else, and Lex is in trouble. Conten...

See You Next Week!

You're Not Supposed to Just Manifest This Sh*t: Verrückt

This week, we learn how to be good citizens, an alligator is thrown through a fast food window, we cave to a year and a half of requests, pot gets framed for asshole genius behavior, and we cover the worst amusement park disaster yet. Content warnings: mentions of drugs, domestic violence 18:15-19:00, horrific death of a child which is the topic of the episode but discussed specifically from 39:00 on, decapitation, vague mention of suicidal ideation Links: Behind the Thrills How a Freak Ac...

Red Cross First Date: Hyatt Regency Skywalk Collapse

This week, Melanie puts out feelers for cross-stitching listeners, puppy justice takes over Florida, we petition to bring back the name Constance, Melanie gets catfished by a fake Steve Miller Band, and a tea dance goes horrifically wrong. Content warnings: structural collapse, graphic discussion of death and severe physical trauma, graphic discussion of traumatic rescue and recovery episodes, PTSD, repeated references to dismemberment, explicit death of a child 00:34:40-00:37:31. 45 KILLE...

Nonsense Things Slowly Become Rational: Laura Van Ryn & Whitney Cerak

This week, hurricane life continues, Melanie addresses her fake divorce, a Florida man won't be kink-shamed, and comas are complicated. Content warnings: extensive and descriptive discussion of comas/coming out of comas, severe physical trauma, and the loss of one's child. Car accident, falling asleep at the wheel, memory loss, and adult humor. Links: A Twist of Fate Michigan truck driver convicted in Indiana mistaken identity crash is out of prison Mistaken Identity - Don & Susie Van Ryn ...

Manic Pixie Businesswoman: Hurricane Ida

This week, Tiktok changes the game, Brianne leaves the podcast a bad review, an army of turtles defeats everyone, Melanie takes it all, Brianne will flash anyone, Arby's delivers disaster concierge service, Melanie is the trashy neighbor, we court a Waffle House sponsorship, and Melanie conceals a mohawk. Content warnings: hurricane aftermath, alligator attack, loss of spouse, sinkhole, serious injuries after accident, cow in peril, near drowning of adult and child. Links: A Louisiana man ...

Hurricane Holdup

Ducks Unlimited: Carwash Incidents

This week, Melanie is marked safe, a man is a member of a very important organization, Dave dies, we cover the most horrifying thing we've ever covered, Jeep Liberties become problematic, and Melanie is wooed by scratch-off tickets. Content warnings: one use of the c-word, hurricane damage/evacuation/deaths, carbon monoxide poisoning, death by accidental hanging, extreme gore 50:27-58:50, traumatic loss of spouse in old age, domestic violence ending in murder-suicide 1:02:56-1:08:20, gun vi...

Stop Your Laughing: Minamata Disease

This week, we don our emotional bat dresses, there's an alligator in someone's pants, a corporation is totally upstanding, murderous sludge gets upcycled, fishermen storm a factory, a lot of people die, and we explore possible alternate timelines. Content warnings: maltreatment of alligators, neurological symptoms in animals, eating eels, serious illness/possible death of five year old child, CNS disease, experimentation on cats, miscarriage, stillbirth, infant deformities, community shunni...

Stop Your Laughing: Minamata Disease

This week, we don our emotional bat dresses, there's an alligator in someone's pants, a corporation is totally upstanding, murderous sludge gets upcycled, fishermen storm a factory, a lot of people die, and we explore possible alternate timelines. Content warnings: maltreatment of alligators, neurological symptoms in animals, eating eels, serious illness/possible death of five year old child, CNS disease, experimentation on cats, miscarriage, stillbirth, infant deformities, community shunni...

Still Dear, Suddenly Not Quite So Departed: The Hardin Cemetery Disaster

This week, we have bones to pick with each other, a man goes to extreme lengths to fight for his right to party, the "show me" state shows 'em, a dumpster isn't a dumpster,  and the dead crash the party. Content warnings: unusual meats, turtle murder, fleeting mention of cannibalism, home break-in, gross earwax discussion, flooding, alcoholism, continuous and graphic discussion of corpses and decomposition, grief, cancer, graphic discussion of infant death 45:50. Links: Buried Secrets, S1 ...

The Fullest and Most Intentional Disrespect: Lava Lamp Incidents

This week, MELANIE IS BACK, Brianne is haunted by a koala, Florida man bracket kicks off, Melanie loves chaotic men, everyone is naked, lava lamps cause a lot of trouble, Brianne meets a snake and tries on victim blaming for size, and Melanie permanently loses her right to judge Midwestern cuisine. Content warnings: COVID, unwanted physical contact in the form of a wet willy, passing mention of Glasgow smiles and schizophrenia, extensive and detailed discussion of having alcoholic parents, ...

Angry Angry Lemon Angry: Kim Saenz

This week, The Audio Guy is our final guest star and doesn't want to be a beaver, someone is a loser ghost, a barefoot medieval knight does a somersault, a nurse has two jobs in order to be a nurse and fails at both, TAG wants people to take their destinies by the dick, and a dialysis clinic has the most morbid layout imaginable. Content warnings: divorce, depression, vague mention of suicidal ideation/in-patient treatment. drug addiction/abuse, domestic disputes without explicit violence, ...

The Birthday and the Squonk

Both Allen and the Bear Were Startled: Alaska Disasters

This week, we have our third out of four guest stars, Jo has shady text messages, a town is built on stilts, Alaska proves a point to science, avalanche season gets out of control, Jo has Iditarod connections, a home invader turns out to be furrier than anticipated, somebody gets her booty bit, and Alaskans are stoic as hell. Content warnings: colonialism, tuberculosis, war, tsunamis, mountain climbing deaths, tornado-strength wind, delayed rescue, hypothermia, injury and death of dog, att...

Good News & Bad News

Here is What Happened at the Natatorium: Olympic Diving Tea & Tragedy

This week, Mandi is willing and even ready to fight a chicken to the death, divers attempt the "Dive of Death" with mixed results, a diver finds himself on both ends of drunk driving disasters, someone fails to read the room on a scale never seen before on this podcast, Brianne's mom spills the Olympic tea, and in Melanie's absence we fail to make one single dick joke about the name Steele Johnson. SHOW NOTES Content warnings: theoretical animal murder in the context of a would-you-rather,...

I Bet I Would Have Some Nipples to Point: The Lazarus Phenomenon

This week, we have our first guest star since Melanie got her ultimate disaster relief, Atlantis wants finger nipples and to eat her cat, Marked Safe is on TikTok now, it's time for everyone to get nekkid, we evaluate whether arrhythmia is a verb, a lot of corpses do a little breathing, Brianne is not cooking dinner after six days in a coffin, and we make petty ghost plans. SHOW NOTES Content warnings: CPR/resuscitation attempts, death and near-death experiences, embalming, buried/embalmed...

You're Sorry and I'm Welcome: Titanic Extravaganza Part 3

This week, Melanie records her last episode before maternity leave, TAG (The Audio Guy) chimes in, we ponder what a Florida Man baby would be like, the cryptid bracket comes to a close, Melanie identifies her strengths, the final Titanic episode sets sail, a staffing change sinks the Titanic, Violet Jessop becomes our WCW, James Cameron has a bad trip, we demand an apology from Leonardo DiCaprio, and Melanie has a lot to learn about beverages. SHOW NOTES Content warnings: difficult labor, ...

Disaster Zoomies: Titanic Extravaganza Part 2

This week, Melanie's labor is a disaster, Brianne makes one of the most controversial cryptid hot takes yet, a Carpathia passenger is an unapologetic gossip, the pro-Cal lobby is just three Billy Zanes in a trench coat, dogs get zoomies on the Titanic, a cat sees the writing on the wall, and we unpack two Jack Dawson conspiracy theories. SHOW NOTES Content warnings: burial at sea, death from hypothermia and drowning, fictional revenge porn, deaths of companion animals, deaths of (fictional...

We Are All Wild to Go: The Victoria Hall Disaster

This week, Brianne podcasts on nighttime cough syrup, Melanie poops her pants in Australia, the cryptid bracket gets to the final four, Brianne hates getting possessed, Melanie is aggressively unhelpful, a free gift turns out to just be death, and Melanie tells one of the most upsetting stories we've ever covered. SHOW NOTES Content warnings: Large-scale deaths of children throughout (most graphic and upsetting details are 28:00-40:00, brief mention of vomit. Links: 183 Children Died in a...

This is Gonna Be Awkward, Let's Break the Ice: Titanic Extravaganza Part 1

This week, Melanie is gonna have a baby and the southerners are unimpressed, The Audio Guy requests a specific head in a box, Chicago Mothman battles The Jersey Devil, we embark upon the maiden voyage of a Titanic extravaganza, women care for each other, someone dies standing up, and Brianne's inner 10 year old is having the best day of her life. SHOW NOTES Content warnings: death of an adolescent and teen from their mother's perspective, loss of various spouses, death of a child 1:01:00, ...

Legs Crossed, Knives Up: Labor & Delivery Compilation

This week, Melanie ventures into the worst part of 2007 internet, the wendigo finally gets his day in court, Brianne would rather get eaten than deal with someone crying but Melanie loves the aesthetics of it, we get a classic “I didn’t know I was pregnant” story at 42,000 feet, someone jumps out of a moving train, Melanie introduces a different kind of birth canal, someone has a baby up a tree with crocodiles, Brianne nearly walks out on the job over a nightmarish story, and Melanie is mark...

Life is Just a String of Detour Montages: Meeley's Life and Death

 This week, we complete each other, dingbats go up against melon heads, a little girl wants to smash a glass ceiling, Brianne has some unresolved gifted child issues, MELANIE IS HILARY SWANK, forensic anthropologists sling mud, we maybe start a book club, and our house tools get an upgrade. SHOW NOTES Content warnings: brief mention of stillbirth at 13:50, alcoholism, transportation accident. Links contain spoilers: . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Amelia Earhart Amelia E...

A Smash Cake for Your Ear Holes: Marked Safe by the Numbers

We've officially been a podcast for ONE YEAR! To celebrate, we wanted to record a little rundown of our first year in numbers, from ghosts in the studio to animals attacks to decapitations to conspiracy theories. From the bottom of our hearts, thank you for listening and making every single day of it so fun.

Panic at the Ballet: 807 Walnut Street

This week, we enter Jeremy Bearimy time, Bigfoot faces off against sentient pants, Melanie gets high-brow on us and continues with her favorite chaotic men theme, ballerinas catch fire, firefighters eff around and find out, a man hacks his way through a crowd, 807 Walnut Street is hit by disaster after grandiose disaster, and Melanie rolls out the exclusive new $20 Patreon level. SHOW NOTES Content warnings: extensive animal cruelty, slavery/dehumanization, animal attacks, amputation, raci...

The Limits of the Possible: Scuba Diving

This week, discombobulation abounds, we start the hairdo pocket revolution, cryptid teeth arrive in the mail, Brianne does not want a head in the box, the wendigo and selkie face off, Melanie has an alarming conspiracy, we struggle to be mature, and a whole bunch of scuba diving disasters happen. SHOW NOTES Content warnings: brief reference to gore from last episode, sexual innuendo, brief mention of suicide in a legend at 34:03, drowning, death of adult child from parent's perspective, de...

Descending Into Worse Stuff: Saturation Diving

This week, Melanie and Brianne contemplate mortality, Melanie crosses her legs to keep Baby John Mellencamp in, a cryptid has an elaborate backstory, we're joined in the studio by fourteen badass ghosts drinking beers, Brianne loves atmospheric trains, we all learn about saturation diving together, YouTube crowns the most gruesome death imaginable, and Melanie has disaster-themed maternity photos. SHOW NOTES Content warnings: death/mortality, claustrophobia, drowning deaths, very vague men...

The Details of How She Lived: See You Next Week

We aren't able to record this week, but we have an older episode you should check out today.

Do You Have That Sinking Feeling?: The Kentucky Compilation

This week, Brianne plans a chair operation, the cryptid bracket continues with another lake snake versus an angry mountain monster, Melanie denies her taxidermy derby hat energy, a real life dryer fire crisis is averted, Brianne is underwhelmed by a drug syndicate, a villain falls from the sky, a black bear stumbles upon the stash of a lifetime, an unexpected snack rains down on Kentucky, a museum gets eaten, science and creativity win the day in Disaster Relief. SHOW NOTES Content warning...

It Shouldn't Have Happened: ValuJet Flight 592

This week, the cryptid bracket kicks off, Brianne plans to catch a lonely meshekenabek from a local lake, an elderly airline fleet causes catastrophic problems, disaster relief needs its own disaster relief. Content warnings: Extreme corporate greed, stabbing murder at 48:57, fire, in-flight catastrophe, plane crash, snakes, alligators, relatively graphic recovery of remains discussed periodically from 1:01:45 on, exceptionally sad details from 1:13:00-1:18:00, death of a child 1:19:00-1:20...

The Best Strip Mall Castle You've Ever Seen in Your Life: The Count Dante Story, Part 2

This week, the true cure for hiccups is unveiled, somebody spots a flying baby, the king of animals is crowned, listeners have a chance to win a cryptid, Count Dante bankrolls his own prize money and reports his own death, the martial arts community is sick of his shit, our friendship is torn apart dream-casting Count Dante, Brianne enables Melanie to harass Mark Wahlberg, feuding dojos implement The Ten Duel Commandments, a dude gets killed, Melanie is hot for Count Dante, and a judge rules...

Count Dante Walked So Joe Exotic Could Run: The Count Dante Story, Part 1

SHOW NOTES Content warnings: Vague old-timey racism, particularly violent martial arts, one joke about drugs, poor treatment of exotic animals, bombings/explosions, violence against bulls, testicle injury Links: A history of bomb attacks Adult Bookstores, theater insist on right to do business here Black & White Black Belt Black Belt Chicago Lion Sinks Teeth in Quincy Visit Clipped from Chicago Tribune Count Dante Count Dante Count Dante – The Deadliest Man Alive Dante I heard that a Quinc...

Headlights Rained From the Sky: The Skyway Bridge Collapse

SHOW NOTES Content warnings: Child abandonment, possible rabid animal, bridge collapse, severe weather, ship collision, car accident(s), threatened drowning, animal abuse (dog) 1:16:50-1:17:36, animal abuse (birds) 1:28:00-1:29:15 Links: 39 years ago, Skyway bridge crash changed lives forever Anderson: Sarasota’s connections to the Skyway bridge disaster Couple on the run raced into disaster EX-SHIP PILOT SEEKS TO TELL STORY OF CRASH Florida is installing a suicide prevention net on the Su...

Pancake Houses Between 1 and 6AM: Nine Heroes

SHOW NOTES Content warnings: Snakes, wasps, animals killing each other in nature, violence in war, IED, fire, human being on fire, graphic description of severe burn injuries, hypothermia death, drug dealing, hurricane, interactions with the police, incarceration, gross media depictions of black men, racism, child in peril (abduction) who survives 51:10-53:53, brief and non-explicit mention of sexual assault of a child 52:00-53:53, child in peril (drowning) who survives 54:50-58:36, mass sh...

A How-to Guide for Boomers and Melanies: Death by Coconut

SHOW NOTES Content warnings: Death by accidental gunshot wound, vague discussion of shark attacks, death by falling projectile, a couple euphemistic dirty jokes (younger kids would not understand, adolescents might), specific description of gross food, cannibalism, starvation, death of infant 45:21-45:44, death of child 47:44-50:45, animal exploitation, brief mention of sex lube at 56:53 and 57:00, death of infant 57:49-58:30, death of infant 01:01:05-1:01:33, Links: Baby Dies After Being...

Answered in the Dark: Five Heroes

SHOW NOTES Content warnings: Racism in the military, stereotype of black men as sexual predators, gun violence in the context of war, grenades, bludgeoning death, stabbing death, disembowelment, coma/near-death, traumatic death/c-section, poor treatment of veterans, death from myocarditis, PTSD, alcoholism, poverty, death from blood loss, torpedoes, death by explosion, sucking chest wound, death in car accident, impalement, diabetes, depression, death of adult child from mother's perspectiv...