3 Bonding Exercises for Groups of Men

#258

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Exercise #1: The Most Interesting Man in the World Exercise

Use When:

You need a non-lame icebreaker for a new group of men You want a light-hearted and fun experience for an established group of men

Time Needed

30-60 minutes (10 mins needed for the setup and the writing)

Tools Needed:

Pen and paper

Recommended Group Sizes:

No group size too small or too big For the readouts, you can keep men in large groups or break into small groups

Structure:

Tell the men they’ll be writing 10 or more “interesting” things about themselves Most men will need “prompts” to get the juices flowing, so read some of the ones below before giving them time to write Share your own list of 10 (don’t skip this step! Hearing these examples really sparks creativity) Give them 5 minutes to write, and slowly read the prompts again while they write After the time is up, have them read out their list to the group Any group member is allowed to stay “Stop! Tell me more!” anytime something piques their interest.

 


Prompts*:

*They don’t need to answer every question…only the ones that spark an interesting tidbit about themselves:

Where have you lived? What have you traveled? What was the worst travel experience you’ve had? What injuries have you sustained? What scars/tattoos/unique body characteristics do you have? When did you get in trouble? What nicknames have you had? Did you ever collect anything? What’s your most prized possession (now, or as a kid?) What was the best birthday gift you ever received? Did you ever run away from home? What’s an achievement you’re proud of? What’s a particularly colossal failure you’ve experienced? What’s an embarrassing moment you’ve sustained? What’s the worst date you’ve ever been on? What’s the best/worst job you’ve ever had? What special skills/talents do you have? What useless skills/talents do you have? What’s a quirk that you have that your partner makes fun of you for?

Exercise #2: Making Your Life Movie

Use When:

You want a group of men to build deeper rapport You have 45 to 90 minutes of time

Time Needed:

At least 45 minutes

Tools Needed:

Pen and paper

Recommended Group Sizes:

No group size too small or too big For the readouts, you can keep men in large groups or break into small groups

Structure:

Have the men imagine they’ve just been called a movie studio who wants to buy the rights to a movie about a particular era of their life, and they need to come up with a story worthy for the big screen. Read each prompt below, and give men 20-30 seconds to journal on each prompt. Once finished, have each man read out their movie to the entire group (or in small breakouts) The role of the listeners = Supportive Movie Studio Agent. Their job is to ask questions and dig for the juicy details to help flesh out the story.

10 Prompts:

What’s the most cinematic era of your life? (could be a period of years, a few days, a particular series of events over a period of time, etc) What were 2-3 standout moments from that era of your life? What adversity did you face? Who’s the villain(s) in your story? Whos’ the unsung hero? Were there any plot twists? What are the biggest insights from this era? What songs/singers/bands would be on your soundtrack? Who would narrate your movie? What’s the working title of your movie?

 

Exercise #3: The Defining Moment Exercise

Use When:

Your group is ready to go deep and vulnerable You want to venture from the head into the heart (feelings and emotions) You feel confident you can safely lead a man into potentially emotionally challenging situations

Time Needed:

At least 45 minutes per man

Tools Needed:

None

Recommended Group Sizes:

For new groups, 10 men or fewer For established groups, 20 men or fewer

Structure:

One man (the Explorer) shares a 3-5 minute story of a defining moment in his life At the conclusion of those 3-5 minutes, another man (the Guide) will thank the Explorer for sharing that story with the group Guide will then ask the Explorer to close his eyes and connect internally with what he’s feeling after having told that story The Guide will spend the next 10 minutes guiding the Explorer into his emotions and feelings by asking probing questions about two things: What he’s feeling/experiencing right now What it felt like during the moments he described in his story Examples:
“What’s coming up for you right now, emotionally?” “Can you feel that emotion somewhere in your body? Where is it?” “How did that feel when you shared about ______?” “If I was in your body right now, what would I be feeling?” “Can you sit with that feeling/emotion for a moment?” NO advice NO problem solving NO fixing STAY AWAY from “what do you think” – the word “think” puts a man in his head
After the 10 minutes of the Guide leading the Explorer, the rest of the group is invited to be Guides and ask similar questions Near the end of the time, Guide lets the Explorer know that he is winding down When time is up, Guide gently invited the Explorer to bring eyes back to open Have the Explorer make eye contact with every man in the room Guide thanks Explorer for what he’s shared Guide asks Explorer for reflections on the experience Guide asks the rest of the Guides to provide reflections on their experiences of listening to the Explorer (no advice, no problem solving)