358 - How much control does your toddler need?
Mama's Daily Dose
English - October 19, 2022 08:00 - 5 minutes - 3.74 MB - ★★★★★ - 14 ratingsParenting Kids & Family Society & Culture Relationships Homepage Download Apple Podcasts Google Podcasts Overcast Castro Pocket Casts RSS feed
You want your toddler to have some autonomy, but at the same time you want them to be safe and grow up to be a decent human being.
Control battle with toddlers - it can been seen everywhere from what is for breakfast to what to wear that day to potty training!
How much control should you give up to your toddler? How much control to they need to learn but at the same time be safe?
You want to have some control over your life, you don't like always being told what to do. And neither does your toddler!
Give your toddler choices, allow them to practice their autonomy as well as self control skills. On picture day you may not want them to pick out their whole outfit because you want some decent looking pics. But you can lay out 2 outfits and allow them to choose, that way you both feel like you are exercising some control.
In the Marshmallow Test, the parents that overcontrolled had kids risk undermining their self-control skills and many we unable to wait for the 2 marshmallows. While those parents that encouraged autonomy and problem solving with their children, the children we far more likely to wait for 2 marshmallows.
Allow you children to practice problem solving skills and utilize their autonomy at a younger age when the consequences are far less overreaching then when they are older, in the real world and have to make big decisions with big consequences, they are able to do so.
It may be difficult to imagine your toddler as a full blown adult having to make adult decisions, but it will come at some time. Allow them to practice making choices now, so they can make the big choices in the future.