Jud's heart is blackened. Charred by the devil's grill marks. But he wants to turn the page and summon the spirit of Christmas. Can this be done? Or is it simply a fool's errand? Let's find out.

"Wake Up (Feat. Project Pat)" by DJ Paul from the album, YOTS (Year of the Six), Pt. 1, used with permission. Listen to him wherever you morons listen to music.

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See Jud perform at The Comedy Store on Friday, January 11.

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I deleted Snapchat. If I wanted to see pussies for 5 seconds, I'd drive next to a bike lane.

Special Thanks: mom, Dove at DJ Paul management, DJ Paul, Project Pat