#252 How to Overcome and Understand Trauma Through Research Satistics and In Life

In this episode of the Spa Life Show, Diane’s guest is Riana Milne. Riana Milne is a professional Relationship Coach, licensed Professional Counselor, and interfaith minister with a Master of Arts in Applied Clinical Psychology. Her own problems with dysfunctional men she loved lead her to discover the exact fundamental issues surrounding disturbed, toxic relationships and to set out the way to greater boundaries, awareness, personal healing, and marital success as a marriage and couples therapist for more than 13 years. Riana's home and therapy practice, Therapy by the Sea, are both in Atlantic County, New Jersey.

Important topics discussed:

What are the distinctions between love over 40?
Childhood Love and Trauma
Research Statistics on the occurrence of Childhood Trauma
Type of Trauma
Childhood events that sabotage you
Childhood traumas being passed down up to three generations
Trauma altering gene expressions
Couples unable to communicate problems
Repetition Syndrome and Codependency
Bullying

Quote:

[00:27] In these times of uncertainty, it's time for you to move past the distractions and start trusting yourself more through your God-given knowingness.
[05:52] I went deep into psychological research; I needed to understand why was I attracting people who had toxic personality types that were sabotagers
[09:13] If there is trauma in your relationship or some dysfunctional patterns that aren't serving you, the marriage, the relationship, or the children, learn what those are and take action to change those patterns.
[09:53] Kids don't have the mental capacity to handle their emotions when they're upset. So they need a trusted adult.
[10:43] A lot is going on in our world that makes our teenagers feel very insecure. So if you see the sign in your kids, please get them help.
[17:36] If your parents were yellers or if they shut down, they were mad at you, they didn't talk to you for hours or days to punish you, then you learn this is how we handle things by being passive-aggressive.
[23:54] You teach them to believe in their dreams. There are too many other people telling them no, that's stupid, or you don't want to do that. When your kids get older and believe in their dreams, they'll find a way.
[27:45] Meditation increases the brain's alpha waves, no matter what your age. So that's more attention and focus and calm. And it lowers the cortisol level, which is the fight-flight or freezes response.
[35:51] You don't settle for less. You build your life first, self-love, self-empowerment, confidence, and self-esteem. You feel terrific about yourself, and when you do, you would never settle for less.
[36:19] Knowledge is power, and that brings freedom.

Links and Resources:
CERT.GLOBAL LIFE & LOVE COACH, CHILDHOOD & LOVE TRAUMA SPECIALIST - https://rianamilne.com/