Sex for Saints
314 episodes - English - Latest episode: 14 days ago - ★★★★★ - 151 ratingsAs a Certified Sex & Marriage Coach, and a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, Amanda Louder helps conservative Christian women love their sex life!
In this podcast, Amanda helps women embrace their sexuality so that they can become the woman they were created to be. She teaches you how to integrate sexuality into your marriage in a loving and healthy way, get rid of the drama and negative emotions around sex in your marriage, and develop a better relationship to yourself, your spouse, and your sexuality.
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Episodes
Episode 312 - Level 2 Sex
April 12, 2024 10:00 - 19 minutes - 15.9 MBIn the last podcast, we talked about Level 1 Sex, what it is, and what we can do about it. So, in this podcast, we are talking about Level 2 Sex, what it is and why you’d want to level up your sex life. Level 2 Sex is not the end of your sexual journey, but rather part of the journey. It’s the zone where you’re not quite at the peak of desire, but you’re certainly not in the valley of disinterest either. It’s like standing at the edge of a pool, dipping your toe in, but not fully diving in j...
Episode 311 - Level 1 Sex
April 05, 2024 10:00 - 16 minutes - 13.3 MBIn this episode, we’re diving into a topic that might resonate with many of you - Level 1 Sex. What is it? What isn’t it? And most importantly, how can we move towards a more fulfilling experience in our intimate relationships? I’ll answer these questions and more as we discuss how each partner might contribute to Level 1 Sex and why it’s hard to break out of it. There is better sex out there my friends! It starts with a willingness to change. So let’s start today!
Episode 310 - Overcoming Sexual Disappointment
March 29, 2024 10:00 - 16 minutes - 13.3 MBSexual disappointment is a complex emotion. Whenever we have expectations and those expectations aren’t being met, it’s natural to be disappointed. But what really matters is how we deal with that disappointment. Do we pretend we’re fine? Do we get angry? Do we avoid the emotion? Or do we talk about it? We are surrounded by examples of what a ‘real’ sexual experience should look like, but they aren’t reality. Having desires and fantasies is wonderful, but once we let in the expectations, tha...
Episode 309 - Are You Using Your Wife for Sex?
March 22, 2024 10:00 - 16 minutes - 13.4 MBWhen asked, “Are you using your wife for sex?”, most men would say, "Absolutely not”! But is that true? Many men use their wives for sex without even realizing they are doing it. They don’t do it maliciously, but that doesn’t mean they don’t do it. In this episode, let’s talk about what it means to use your wife for sex, why you do it, and how to change that habit. This episode is for men and women who want to break out of a sexual habit that isn’t getting you the connection you need or want...
Episode 308 - Relational Listening - An Essential Sexual Conversation Skill
March 15, 2024 10:00 - 21 minutes - 17.7 MBIn this episode, let’s talk about one of the most powerful tools in your relationship toolbox - relational listening. What is relational listening? It’s more than hearing, it’s understanding. So, how do you use it in conversations? Let’s talk about that! Listen to this episode to know what to do before, during, and after having a relational conversation with your spouse. Learn how to create a safe space for both of you to express your desires, fears, and fantasies so that you can have that f...
Episode 307 - 3 Things That Affect Sexual Desire
March 08, 2024 11:00 - 15 minutes - 12.6 MBSexual desire is much more complex than many of us are led to believe. Desire is multifaceted and must be examined from a biological, psychological, and sociological standpoint. Why do I talk about desire so often? Because a lack of desire is the number one thing that women come to me for help with. They tell me that their desire has just disappeared and they have no idea where it’s gone. So, let’s dive into what goes into desire and maybe how to get it back.
Episode 306 - The Four Things We All Want in our Sexual Relationship
March 01, 2024 11:00 - 17 minutes - 14.2 MBI’ve been thinking a lot about what we all want in our relationships and what that means to our relationships. So, today I’m going to share with you the four things that we all want in our sexual relationships. We may call them different things, but everyone wants essentially the same thing. I am also going to talk about what happens when these things we want aren’t happening in our sexual relationships. And what you can do about that. You see, the absence of these foundational values can le...
Episode 305 - What Every Couple Needs To Know About Women’s Hormones - An Interview with Dr. Kelly Casperson
February 23, 2024 11:00 - 55 minutes - 44.8 MBI am so excited for you to hear this interview with Dr. Kelly Casperson. We talk about what you and your partner need to know about women’s hormones. We as women don’t get a lot of information about hormones in general but especially during perimenopause and menopause. Even if you’re not quite there yet, you are going to want to listen to what Dr. Kelly has to say because we will all go through this! This is an episode you are going to want to share with all of the women in your life. Dr. ...
Episode 304 - Female-Centric Sex
February 16, 2024 11:00 - 19 minutes - 15.6 MBI know that some of us, both men and women, feel that female-centric sex is selfish. But it absolutely is not! Let’s talk about why women may not want to transition to a female-centric approach to sex and why men might not want to as well. But when it comes down to it, a female-centric approach to sex can be a transformative journey for couples, deepening their intimacy, connection, and satisfaction. Want to learn how? Listen in!
Episode 303 - The Common Thread Between Money & Sex
February 09, 2024 11:00 - 26 minutes - 21.4 MBAt first thought, money and sex may not seem to have a lot in common. But if you think about it, when you improve something about your relationship, it often extends to all of your relationship. That’s why I asked Ruth Liebel to join me on the podcast to talk about money. Ruth is an amazing financial coach that will help you see that we often come into our marriages with different ideas of what it means to be “good” with money. Listen to get some clarity about how you manage your money in yo...
Episode 302 - When Your Partner Won’t Grow Sexually
February 02, 2024 11:00 - 14 minutes - 11.9 MBSex, intimacy, and personal growth are all tied together. And when your partner doesn’t want to grow sexually, but you do, it can cause a lot of conflict. It’s not uncommon to find yourself in a situation like this, so in this episode, I’m going to share with you three steps to take to understand the situation completely. I’ll even share with you what to say that may help the situation.
Episode 301 - Mature Feminine Sexuality
January 26, 2024 11:00 - 38 minutes - 30.9 MBI recently was a guest on the Live Your Why podcast with Tammy Hill. I thought the episode was so good, I asked Tammy if I could share it with you as well. She was excited to share what we talked about with you too! So listen in as I share some parts of my story that you may not have heard yet, along with talking about what mature feminine sexuality is. And no, we’re not talking about seniors, but all of us. So, let’s talk about why we need mature feminine sexuality and how it actually helps...
Episode 300 - Celebrating 300 Episodes!
January 19, 2024 11:00 - 25 minutes - 20.8 MBWow! Episode 300! I can hardly believe it! I remember nearly six years ago when I started this podcast that I could hardly imagine what 100 episodes would look like, let alone 300. So today's episode is a little different. I asked people to call or write in about an episode that was impactful for them. Join me as I share with you what they had to say.
Episode 299 - Focus On The Journey, Not The Destination
January 12, 2024 11:00 - 14 minutes - 11.9 MBHave you ever been on a road trip and heard the words, “Are we there yet?” That person is just focused on the destination, not the journey itself. The same thing happens in our sexual relationships when we just focus on climax. Our world places so much emphasis on instant gratification that it is easy to let that thought into the bedroom. Are we relishing in all of the minute details and interactions that can lay claim on our body and our heart or are we like the kids in the backseat who ask...
Episode 298 - How To Have Anal Sex Safely
January 05, 2024 11:00 - 23 minutes - 19 MBI have had a lot of questions lately about how to safely have anal sex so I’m going to answer those questions here. Anal sex is often intriguing for many couples, and while there seems to be quite a bit of desire to do it from one or both partners, there’s often a reluctance, which is understandable. So whether you’re a curious individual or a couple looking to add something new to your repertoire, this episode will guide you through the ins and outs of anal pleasure, focusing on safety and ...
Episode 297 - Prioritizing Sex in the New Year
December 29, 2023 11:00 - 24 minutes - 19.4 MBI want you to prioritize sex in the new year. I hear from clients all the time that they just don’t have time to have sex. That’s because you’re not making it a priority. Why have more sex? Because it helps you have a healthier and more fulfilling connection with your partner. Here are my practical tips on how to make sex a priority in the new year! You are going to LOVE number 7! We are almost at episode 300 and I would love to do something a little bit different and special for this epis...
Episode 296 - Sexual Responsibility for Those with Responsive Desire
December 22, 2023 11:00 - 12 minutes - 10.3 MBWe have often talked about spontaneous desire vs responsive desire on my podcast. But today, I want to go a little deeper into the responsibility you have if you happen to have responsive desire. Often women, and some men, have responsive desire, but that doesn’t mean that their partner is always in charge of initiating. You can have a high sex drive and even be the higher desire partner with responsive desire. Let me show you how!
Episode 295 - Why You Should Be Using Lube
December 15, 2023 11:00 - 24 minutes - 19.6 MBClients will often tell me that they don’t need to use lube because there isn’t anything wrong with them. This could not be further from the truth! There are many things that will affect your natural lubrication, including stress or dehydration, so having some lube you love at your fingertips will only make sex better. In this episode, we’re going to talk about why we use lube, how to choose the right lube and what lubes I like the best. You should be using lube! Here’s why. Some of my fav...
Episode 294 - Sexy Holiday Gift Guide
December 08, 2023 11:00 - 11 minutes - 9.08 MBThis holiday season, can I suggest a new tradition? Giving, and receiving, sexy holiday gifts! When we’re thinking about gifts for our spouse, we often think about what they need or want, and while that’s great, I think as a couple, it’s important to use this time to give each other something that helps turn up the heat and the desire in the bedroom. It doesn’t have to be elaborate. It can be as simple as a sexy playlist. Join me as I share with you 6 ideas on how to have a sexy holiday this...
Episode 293 - Increasing the Sexual Connection During the Holidays
December 01, 2023 11:00 - 9 minutes - 7.47 MBI have a friend who has 7 kids, all born in September. That means that they were all conceived around Christmas. We’ve often joked about this with her, but it turns out that they aren’t the only ones who get especially horny during the holiday season. In fact, more babies are conceived in December than any other month! Why is this? That’s what we’re talking about in the episode. There are some biological factors, some psychological factors, as well as some social and environmental factors th...
Episode 292 - Embracing All Parts of Us
November 24, 2023 11:00 - 35 minutes - 28.4 MBI’m speaking with therapist Jeff Lundgren, again, today about internal family systems. It’s a therapeutic modality that he uses in his practice that I find fascinating. If you’ve ever seen the movie Inside Out, you’ve had an introduction to this type of therapy. So, in this episode, we talk about where the internal family systems came from, and most importantly, how it can help us in our sexual lives. I invite you to join us for this fascinating look into our minds. Jeff Lundgren is a Lice...
Episode 291 - Using Psychedelics in Sex Therapy
November 17, 2023 11:00 - 40 minutes - 32.8 MBAt times in my coaching career, I’ve been asked by clients about the use of psychedelics in sex therapy. I know that this may be a controversial topic, but I think it’s important to be given all of the information so you can make the decision for yourself. I am excited to have Jeff Lundgren on the podcast today to talk about it. This interview is fascinating! We talk about the history of psychedelics and their use in therapy. And Jeff shares some success stories he has witnessed in clients w...
Episode 290 - What Makes A Marriage Thrive
November 10, 2023 11:00 - 20 minutes - 16.8 MBMost of us will say that our marriage is our most important relationship. Yet we often let things get in the way of making it great and our marriage gets put on the back burner. Whether that is kids, work, hobbies, or church callings, we don’t put enough into our relationship. And that relationship is barely surviving instead of thriving. And when our relationship suffers, often so does our sexual relationship. So in this episode, let’s talk about 11 ways to make a marriage thrive. We’ll...
Episode 289 - Consequences of Sexual Accommodation
November 03, 2023 10:00 - 14 minutes - 11.6 MBI think we all want to have an intimate marriage, but we often miss one important step in achieving that. To have an intimate marriage, we must understand and make room for both partners’ wants and desires, without judgment or shame. But what I often see happening is that one partner thinks their wants and desires matter more than the other partner and they expect their partner to accommodate them. Or, I also see that one partner suppresses their wants and desires or preferences to accommoda...
Episode 288 - How Your Eating Can Affect Your Sex Life
October 27, 2023 10:00 - 31 minutes - 25 MBHave you ever thought about how food can affect your sex life? That’s what I’m discussing today with my guest and fellow life coach Lisa Salisbury. Thinking about what you put in your body and what you want from your body are important. But, let me be clear, we’re not talking about counting calories or macros or anything like that. We’re talking about listening to your body and knowing that if you’d like to have sex tonight, it might be better to not finish your meal and be overly full. I’m ...
Episode 287 - Overcoming Boredom in Sex
October 20, 2023 10:00 - 12 minutes - 10.1 MBMany women tell me that sex is boring for them, which is one of the reasons why they don’t have a strong desire for it. No one craves boredom. We crave pleasure, excitement, novelty, and fun. And if sex is boring, you are probably not having any of those things. But one of the biggest reasons why women are bored is because they often aren’t being an active participant. What does it mean to be an active participant in your sex life? It means communicating your needs, being willing to try ...
Episode 286 - Sexual Myths Learned From Porn
October 13, 2023 10:00 - 14 minutes - 11.5 MBThe lack of sex education is a real issue in our country, so often people turn to pornography to learn about sex, which doesn’t actually help our understanding of sex nor our relationships. In this episode, we're diving deep into the topic of pornography and its impact on our understanding of sex and relationships. We'll discuss why pornography isn't a great way to learn about sex, the misconceptions and myths it perpetuates, and the potential problems it can create in our sexual relationshi...
Episode 285 - How Women Can Have Multiple Orgasms
October 06, 2023 10:00 - 21 minutes - 17.4 MBOrgasms are an amazing experience! For most people, they are the most powerful feeling of pleasure available here on Earth. While men have a recovery period after orgasm, women do not. In fact, having multiple orgasms is something that women can learn how to do. Intrigued? Listen to this podcast to learn 5 ways to overcome any barriers you may have and start experiencing multiple orgasms.
Episode 284 - When Your Spouse Has Had Other Sexual Partners
September 29, 2023 10:00 - 18 minutes - 15.1 MBI often get asked by my clients what they can do if their spouse has had other sexual partners. While the reason behind this can vary, it often leaves the spouse who hasn’t had any other partners feeling jealous, insecure, or even resentful. First of all, these feelings are totally natural, but let’s talk about ways to address them and move forward in a healthy way. Join me as I share 7 ways to work through those feelings.
Episode 283 - Maintaining a Great Sex Life While You Are Apart
September 22, 2023 10:00 - 12 minutes - 10.3 MBYou’ve heard the old adage, “Absence makes the heart grow fonder,” right? While that can be true, being apart from your spouse can really affect your intimacy. So in this episode, I want to give you 11 real life solutions on how to keep your sex life alive even when you’re miles apart. No need to put that part of your life on hold while your spouse is away. You’re going to especially love #9. 365 Connecting Questions for Couples
Episode 282 - Sexual Wellness - An Interview with Holly Henry
September 15, 2023 10:00 - 25 minutes - 21.2 MBOur overall wellness as women is so important for not just our lives, but also our sexual being. So today I’m talking with Holly Henry all about sexual wellness. She is a nurse practitioner who doesn’t just look at the physical symptoms, but the hormonal and beyond to help you live your best life. This podcast is coming out today because we have a very exciting announcement to make! Listen in to find out just what it is. But first, a little about Holly. She is the founder of Lotti Aestheti...
Episode 281 - The Importance of Physical Intimacy in Marriage
September 08, 2023 10:00 - 25 minutes - 21.1 MBWhen I say “physical intimacy in marriage”, what does that bring up? Usually it’s sex. But intimacy is so much more than just sex. It’s eye contact and hand holding. In this episode, we’re going to explore what intimacy is, why it’s important, why it sometimes declines, and how you can keep the flame alive. Or reignite it if it’s gone dim. What level of intimacy do you and your spouse fall into most? Listen in to find out the levels.
Episode 280 - How To Keep The Romance Alive in Marriage
September 01, 2023 10:00 - 29 minutes - 24.4 MBI often get asked how to keep the flames of romance burning after you’ve been married a long time. So, that’s what we’re going to talk about today. How do you keep those flames burning and not get stuck in a roommate situation. I have 10 areas with specific examples in each of the ways that you can keep that romance alive and rejuvenated. Remember, love is a journey, not a destination. Stay committed, stay passionate, and stay connected.
Episode 279 - The Mind-Body Connection
August 25, 2023 10:00 - 13 minutes - 11.4 MBYour brain is your biggest sex organ. Have you noticed what you’re thinking about sex? In this episode, we’re going to talk about the mind-body connection when it comes to sex. We’re going to look into gaining sexual thought awareness and how those thoughts shape our most intimate experiences. By cultivating awareness around our sexual thoughts, we can open doors to more mindful and fulfilling experiences.
Episode 278 - Teaching Your Kids About Sex, Shame Free
August 18, 2023 10:00 - 25 minutes - 20.8 MBIn Come Follow Me this coming week, we read about Paul’s sexual purity letter to the Corinthians. Because of this, I think it’s a great time to not only talk to your kids about sex, but also talk to their teachers about how they will teach this lesson. We need to break the cycle of shaming our kids into not having sex. And that can start with you. Listen to this episode to learn about how to teach your kids about sex, shame free, so they can have a healthy relationship with sex throughout th...
Episode 277 - The Importance of Foreplay
August 11, 2023 10:00 - 17 minutes - 13.8 MBIn the last episode, we spoke about erogenous zones. But if you are focusing solely on these areas without any warm-up or creating the right context for sex, you are missing out on a crucial piece - the importance of foreplay. In this episode, let’s talk about what foreplay means and how important it is for both men and women to have an amazing sexual experience. It is the bridge that allows us to transition from the outside world into an intimate space where we can be fully present with eac...
Episode 276 - Erogenous Zones
August 04, 2023 10:00 - 15 minutes - 12.6 MBYou may remember when Monica taught Chandler about erogenous zones on the TV show friends. (If you don’t remember this iconic scene, the link is below) Chandler was surprised to learn that there were more than 3 erogenous zones. Are you surprised too? In this episode, we’re going to talk about where the erogenous zones are and how best to stimulate them for enhanced pleasure and intimacy. Ready? Let’s go! Friend’s Clip: https://youtu.be/3NLVior-nLs
Episode 275 - Sexual Validation & Rejection
July 28, 2023 10:00 - 17 minutes - 14.3 MBWanting sex so you can feel closer to your spouse or because you want to connect with them is great. But sometimes, we start to seek validation through sex. When we’re seeking validation through sex, we see it as our partner not loving us when we aren’t having sex. We also feel rejected, which can cause a lot of hurt and anger. So, what can we do if we are starting to notice that we need sex to validate us? Listen to this episode to find out.
Episode 274 - Sexual Conditioning Guilt
July 21, 2023 10:00 - 13 minutes - 11.3 MBI often hear from my clients that they feel guilty about certain sexual things. When we really look into it, I question whether they’re feeling guilty, which to me means that they are doing something outside of their integrity, or are they internalizing someone else’s emotions about the subject. So in this episode, we’re going to talk about naming the emotion we’re feeling and if it really is guilt, how to change that feeling.
Episode 273 - Overcoming Triggers - An Interview with Crystal Haitsma
July 14, 2023 10:00 - 32 minutes - 26.2 MBIn this podcast, I’m talking with Crystal Haitsma about triggers. We hear the word all the time nowadays, but what does it really mean and how is it affecting our relationships? Listen in as Crystal and I define what triggers are and how self regulation can help us get over them. This is a great episode! Crystal, The Parenting Coach is a Certified Life Coach and Canadian homeschooling mother of 4. She combines her background in Psychology with helpful mindset tools, somatic work and emotio...
Episode 272 - Decision Not Desire
July 07, 2023 10:00 - 9 minutes - 7.81 MBSo many women I’ve talked to have said that they don’t have any desire to have sex anymore. It’s just gone. Now, I’ve talked about desire a lot on this podcast, but today I want to talk to you about one thing that I haven’t talked about before and it just may blow your mind. So, listen in while we talk about desire and how it’s affecting your sex life.
Episode 271 - Not Liking the Sex You're Having ||Embracing You Teaser||
June 30, 2023 10:00 - 36 minutes - 29.7 MBDo you not like sex or do you just not like the sex that you're having? Oftentimes, we actually just don't like the sex that we're having. Listen to this teaser Embracing You podcast episode as I coach Quinn on how to make the sex that she is having more enjoyable so she can like it more. Are you subscribed to my private podcast, Embracing You!? If not, you should be. Three times a month, you can listen in as I coach actual clients on anything from making sex more enjoyable to how to navi...
Episode 270 - Sexual Compatibility
June 23, 2023 10:00 - 19 minutes - 15.4 MBDo you worry that you aren’t sexually compatible with your spouse? I think truly being sexually incompatible is rare. But in this episode, we talk about those questions you may be having. What makes for sexual compatibility and what we can do to work on ourselves to make our relationships that much better? If you both are willing to look at yourselves and grow, ultimately you can have that honest conversation you need for both of you to be happy.
Episode 269 - Emotional or Physical Intimacy First?
June 16, 2023 10:00 - 14 minutes - 11.8 MBOne of the most common disagreements I hear from couples about sex are about emotional and physical intimacy and which goes first. In my mind, it looks a lot like a tug of war between the couple to show which is the right kind of intimacy for a marriage. It’s time to drop the rope, and find a better way. Listen to this podcast to hear why we need to find a better way and how to do it.
Episode 268 - Affection Without Expectation
June 09, 2023 10:00 - 14 minutes - 11.4 MBWhen I was first married to my first husband, it felt like he ALWAYS wanted sex. If I showed him any affection at all, it had to lead to sex. I, like a lot of women, didn’t want it to always mean I had to have sex. I missed what it was like when we were dating, when we could be affectionate and that’s as far as it went. So, why does this pattern of expectation start and what can we do about it in our relationships? That’s what we’re talking about in this episode. If that pattern is happening...
Episode 267 - Sexual Overfunctioning and Underfunctioning
June 02, 2023 10:00 - 19 minutes - 15.4 MBLet me ask you a question. Are you overfunctioning or underfunctioning in your sexual relationship with your spouse? Taking a look at yourself and honestly answering this question can help you have a better relationship. We often get into patterns and dynamics that seem helpful but end up causing more problems in the end. So let’s define what it is and what we can do about it.
Episode 266 - The Sexual Conditioning of Young Adults that Keep Them From Great Relationships - Pt. 2
May 26, 2023 10:00 - 29 minutes - 23.6 MBThis is part two of an amazing interview I did with fellow life coach Julie Balkman. This week we’re talking more about our young adults and how they are really struggling in dating and moving into relationships and into sexual relationships. Whether you're a young adult, either single and dating or newly married or you have young adults, even if you have been married a long time, I think you're going to find some really good, valuable insights into why things are the way they are for you in...
Episode 265 - The Sexual Conditioning of Young Adults that Keep Them From Great Relationships - Pt. 1
May 19, 2023 10:00 - 32 minutes - 26.5 MBThis is part one of an amazing interview I did with fellow life coach Julie Balkman. I really wanted to do this interview with Julie because I think a lot of our young adults are really struggling in dating and moving into relationships and into sexual relationships. Whether you're a young adult, either single and dating or newly married or you have young adults, even if you have been married a long time, I think you're going to find some really good, valuable insights into why things are th...
Episode 264 - Igniting Passion In Your Sex Life
May 12, 2023 10:00 - 47 minutes - 38.3 MBHave you noticed that the passion in your sex life has disappeared? It’s time to ignite it again, don’t you think? I was recently on Ashlee Sorenson’s podcast called A Bit Better Everyday and I loved our conversation so much that I asked Ashlee if I could share it with you and she graciously said yes. So, join us as we talk about how we ignite that passion again both in our lives and in the bedroom.
Episode 263 - How Do You Define Sex?
May 05, 2023 10:00 - 10 minutes - 8.31 MBOur definition of sex can really affect how much sex we’re getting. So, how do you define sex? Is sex just penetration and orgasm? Or are there other activities that you define as sex? This isn’t a one-size-fits-all answer but it’s important to ask yourself how you define it and why. Listen as we discuss what a broad definition of sex can do for your sex life.