Listen, Learn & Love Hosted by Richard Ostler
792 episodes - English - Latest episode: 8 days ago - ★★★★★ - 812 ratingsWelcome to our podcast!
My name is Richard H. Ostler and I am a native of Salt Lake City, small business owner, married father of six with several grandchildren. I believe in and am deeply committed to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and want it to work for a wider group.
I am the author of three books:
“Listen Learn and Love: Embracing LGBTQ Latter-day Saints” published in 2020 available at Deseret Book (deseretbook.com/product/5248297.html) and Amazon (amazon.com/dp/1462135773)
“Listen Learn and Love: Improving Latter-day Saint Culture” published in 2022. The book explores who we can do better to help all Latter-day Saints feel more welcome, needed and a feeling of belonging in our congregations. Available at Deseret Book (deseretbook.com/product/6003149.html) and Amazon (amazon.com/dp/1462139566)
“Listen Learn and Love: Building the Good Ship Zion” released in Sept 2023. The book explores additional topics to help all Latter-day Saint feel welcome and needed on the Good Ship Zion. Available at Deseret Book (deseretbook.com/product/6026921.html) and Amazon (amazon.com/dp/1462145280)
The purpose of all three books is to help us better create Zion by helping more feel welcome, a sense of belonging, and needed in our congregations.
Proceed from the books go the Stockton Power Memorial Scholarship (www.standingforstockton.com) in honor of Stockton Powers a gay Latter-day Saint teenager who died of suicide in 2016. Everything I do is a self-funded labor of love ❤️
I am the author of two Ensign articles:
‘How the Savior’s Healing Power Applies to Repenting from Sexual Sin’ (August 2020/YSA Digital Only) www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/2020/08/young-adults/how-the-saviors-healing-power-applies-to-repenting-from-sexual-sin
‘7 Tips for Overcoming Pornography Use’ (October, page 72) www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/2020/10/young-adults/7-tips-for-overcoming-pornography-use.
This podcast is designed to discuss some more complicated issues in our church to help all of us better “listen, learn and love” so we can minister in a more effective way to all of our Heavenly Parents’ children.
Podcasts are indexed by category at listenlearnandlove.org/podcasts
Thank you for joining us. You can't donate to this podcast. There are no sponsors. But you can leave a review/rate the podcast on the platform you are listening and/or leave a review at Deseret Book/Amazon on my books.
With love, Richard 'Papa' Ostler ❤
Twitter: twitter.com/Papa_Ostler
IG: www.instagram.com/papa_ostler
Facebook: facebook.com/richard.ostler.5
E-mail: [email protected]
Homepage Apple Podcasts Google Podcasts Overcast Castro Pocket Casts RSS feed
Episodes
Episode 179: Xian Mackintosh and Karson Phippen, Married August 10, 2019, Great Family Support
September 30, 2019 05:04 - 1 hour - 71.1 MBMy friends Xian Mackintosh and Karson Phippen share they journey as gay Latter-day Saints. Both served missions (Detroit and Philippines, respectively) and are moving forward in their lives. Xian has a Master in Social Work and Karson is looking forward to Medical School. They share staying close to Heavenly Father and the great support they are receiving from family and friends especially for their wedding in August 2019. Xian and his parents Scott and Becky Mackintosh joined me on E...
Episode 178: Mikal Bitter, Gay Latter-day Saint, In Grad School, Great Family
September 27, 2019 05:14 - 1 hour - 62.1 MBMy friend Mikal Bitter, age 21 working on a Master’s at Utah State in HR, shares his life story. He talks about coming to terms with being gay, excellent family support, moving forward in his life, respect for the LDS church and hopes/dreams for the future. Thanks for sharing your story, Mikal. Great podcast for helping to keep the family together. Thanks for being on the podcast Mikal. You are a good man and have a great life ahead of you.
Episode 177: Travis Steward (Gay, former Mission President) and his dear wife Margaret Steward
September 23, 2019 03:58 - 2 hours - 130 MBMy friend Travis and Margaret Steward, active LDS, parents of 6 children, Mission President in Houston from 2005-2008, share their story with Travis coming out as gay to his wife in 2014 and then more broadly to trusted friends and family members. Travis bravely shares the 40+ years of shame and self-loathing being in the closet as a gay Latter-day Saint and how this shame is now gone. Travis shares how he now has a much deeper relationship with Christ and sees himself worthy of God’s love....
Episode 176: Leanne Payne Tressler, Active LDS, Husband and Oldest Son Died by Suicide
September 20, 2019 02:45 - 1 hour - 47.2 MBMy friend Leanne Tressler (mother of 7 children) joins us to talk about her journey ‘living her worst nightmare’ with her husband Spencer (age 39, died Oct 2015) and her old son Kaden (age 16, died April 2019) both completing suicide. Leanne has been sharing valuable lessons and insights on her Facebook page. Check out these posts: https://www.facebook.com/leanne.paynetressler/posts/10157779753572022 https://www.facebook.com/leanne.paynetressler/posts/10157659894277022 Please listen ...
Episode 175: Ray, Bisexual Latter-day Saint, RM, BYU Student
September 17, 2019 02:00 - 1 hour - 59.5 MBMy friend Ray shares her journey as bisexual Latter-day Saint. She served a mission in Florida (came out to her Bishop and Stake President before serving). Ray also came out to her Mission President and companions. It’s a wonderful story and Ray has excellent insights for queer Latter-day Saints … especially those who are considering serving missions. Ray is at BYU with a strong testimony of our Restored Church and a unique life mission to reach and help others to Christ through our Res...
Episode 174: Paul and Shannon Clawson, Active LDS, Introverts
September 14, 2019 04:50 - 1 hour - 72.2 MBMy friends Paul and Shannon share their journey with Paul being an extrovert and Shannon being an introvert. Shannon, mother of four and professional coach, shares how being an introvert can make her experience with the church culture difficult. She shares brave and thoughtful insights. She is now at peace being an introvert and shares her unique ability to reach and lift others in ways that are different that typical Latter-day Saints. Paul, who serves as EQ President in his Heber Ci...
Episode 173: Becky and Scott Mackintosh and Their Gay Son Xian.
September 09, 2019 04:10 - 1 hour - 65.5 MBMy dear friends Becky and Scott Mackintosh (active LDS, Recent YSA Bishop) join me on the podcast with their wonderful son Xian (recently married to his husband Karson). Xian offered a wonderful prayer before we recorded and I hope you feel the spirit of love and understanding. The Mackintosh family is featured on this church produced video from 2017 https://mormonandgay.churchofjesuschrist.org/videos?id=11549365994538963301&lang=eng This good family talks about Christ’s doctrine and p...
Episode 172: Patrick Risk, Active LDS, RM, Survivor of Childhood Sexual Abuse, Same-Sex Attraction
September 05, 2019 02:46 - 1 hour - 56.3 MBMy friend Patrick Risk joins me to update us on his journey (earlier podcast is episode 45). Patrick, who is a survivor of sexual abuse (age 6-12) from male cousin, bravely shares his journey of his marriage (fall of 2018) being annulled, coming to terms with his same-sex attraction and moving forward in this life. Patrick talks about trying to end the ‘what if’ cycle on how his life would be different without the sexual abuse and moving forward with a ‘what now’ framework. Patrick w...
Episode 171: Amber Richardson, Late 20’s, LDS, Sexual Assault Survivor, Queens in the Scriptures
September 02, 2019 04:00 - 1 hour - 68.3 MBMy friend Amber Richardson, BYU graduate in theater, bravely shares her journey as a survivor of childhood sexual assault. Amber started a podcast called ‘On Sovereign Wings,’ so that other women could share their stories of reclaiming their power after sexual assault. Amber has great insights into the difficulty our members on this road encounter, and how to help them heal and have more hope. Amber knows this desert and hopes to help others find their way out as she makes her own journey int...
Episode 170: Allison Dayton (mom of a gay son), Kirk Richard (painter of ‘Jesus Said Love Everyone’)
August 28, 2019 04:32 - 1 hour - 68.9 MBMy friends Kirk Richard and Allison Dayton (both active LDS) join me to talk about Kirk’s painting and its message for our LGBTQ members. Allison gave this painting to her gay son Jake for Christmas in 2018 and shares how their family is navigating this road. It’s a beautiful family love story. Allison also talks about her new organization called Lift and Love (check it out on IG at @liftandloveorg). Kirk talks about why he did this painting including the 7 perfect sides. Kirk also...
Episode 169: RJ Risueno, RM, Music Chair in YSA Ward, Gay Latter-day Saint.
August 24, 2019 02:11 - 1 hour - 80.7 MBMy friend RJ joins me to share his story as a gay Latter-day Saint. RJ served a mission in Bolivia, graduated from Utah State and served as an EQ President. RJ then stepped away from the church for about 8 months. RJ received a scholarship to ASU (Speech-Language Pathology) and decided to give his new Tempe YSA Ward a chance in the Fall of 2018. RJ shares the two things that needed to happen (which did occur) that week for him to become active in the Ward. RJ shares meeting Bisho...
Episode 168: Dr. Michael Secrist (Interventional Radiologist), Mid 30’s, Gay Latter-day Saint
August 20, 2019 03:52 - 1 hour - 75.3 MBMy friend Michael Secrist joins us to share his 20 + year journey as a gay Latter-day Saint. Michael starts with the Stake Conference talk he gave in the Long Beach East Stake on Saturday, January 19th 2019 where he came out as gay to the whole Stake. I was at this Stake Conference and it was a deeply moving experience. After the meeting, there was an hour long line to greet him. Michael then shares more of his journey including some wonderful experiences and some very difficult experi...
Episode 167: David Ostler, Former Mission/Stake President, Ministering to Those Who Question
August 16, 2019 04:59 - 1 hour - 74.2 MBMy brother David Ostler joins us to talk about this new book ‘Bridges: Ministering to Those Who Question’ (available at Deseret Book, Gregg Kofford Books and Amazon). Dave shares why her wrote the book, findings, implications and what we can do differently. Please see Dave’s page at https://www.bridgeslds.com/. Dave shares how members who question need three key things: 1) Trust 2) Belonging and 3) Meaning. This book (currently #1 in Mormonism at Amazon) gives better pastoral t...
Episode 166: Marsha (mom) and Aiden (transgender son) Aizumi
August 12, 2019 03:00 - 1 hour - 57.6 MBMy friends Marsha and Aiden Aizumi share their 20 year journey with Aiden being a transgender man. It is a beautiful love story of learning, growing, listening and now sharing their story. Marsha and Aiden (who are not LDS) spoke at the CCEJ interfaith breakfast in 2018 that was sponsored by President and Sister Fersch (Stake President of the Long Beach East Stake). It was here the Fersch’s first heard the Aizumi’s story. President and Sister Fersch were so moved that they invited them...
Episode 165: Alyssa Edwards, Seminary Teacher at Lehi High School, RM, Age 26
August 10, 2019 04:03 - 1 hour - 61.9 MBMy friend Sister Alyssa Edwards joins us to talk about issues facing our High School LDS members and her deep testimony of our Restored Church. Alyssa shares her journey as an early release missionary (which gives her added skills to connect with her students), discussions with her students about LGBTQ, role of women, overcoming sin and faith crisis. Alyssa gives wonderful insights in how to meet these students where they are and point them towards the hope and healing of the Gospel of Je...
Episode 164: Elder Tad R. Callister, Former Sunday School General President, Author
August 08, 2019 05:01 - 50 minutes - 40.6 MBElder Callister joins us to talk about his book ‘A Case For The Book of Mormon’. See: https://deseretbook.com/p/a-case-for-the-book-of-mormon?variant_id=171322-hardcover. Elder Callister shares wonderful insights about the truthfulness of this book, answers to critics and the restored doctrine it teaches. I’m grateful to my wife Sheila who gave me a copy of the book which I enjoyed reading. This book is a key part of my testimony of the truthfulness of our Restored Church, the Prophet...
Episode 163: Ryan Kelly Shares the Story of Jerry Kelly (who died in WW II).
August 06, 2019 04:05 - 1 hour - 62.8 MBMy longtime friend Ryan Kelly (active LDS, married, mid-30’s) shares the story of receiving deep promptings following Elder Cook’s Oct 2011 talk about those who died in the Titanic (https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2011/10/the-songs-they-could-not-sing?lang=eng) to find and then tell the story of his great-uncle Jerry Kelly who died in World War II age 20. Jerry (who was Senior Class President at Granite High in 1942) left no posterity to share his story. Ryan a...
Episode 162: Scott Osmond, Gay, Age 51, RM
August 04, 2019 04:49 - 2 hours - 121 MBMy friend Scott Osmond bravely shares his story as a gay Latter-day Saint. Scott, who lives in Long Beach and has his own financial systems consulting business, shares growing up as a gay Latter-day Saint and staying active until his early 30’s. It was a difficult road and Scott courageously did the best he could. For the last 18 years, Scott has not been active in the Church until his Stake President Emerson Fersch and his Bishop Jeff Perry knocked on his door one Sunday morning in Januar...
Episode 161: Trey Brockbank, Age 19, Gay Latter-day Saint, Active LDS
August 02, 2019 03:45 - 1 hour - 55.9 MBMy friend Trey shares his story as a gay Latter-day Saint. We start with growing up in San Diego and coming out to his family (good experience), church leaders and friends. Like all my LGBTQ friends, it’s a difficult road. Trey shares going to BYU Idaho and coming out to his five roommates (good experience and they sincerely wanted to understand Trey’s experience). Trey is transferring to the University of Utah. Trey shares thoughts on ending stereotypes about our LGBTQ friends. T...
Episode 160: Shelby Hintze, Active LDS, Disabled, Producer at KSL, Former YSA RS President
July 31, 2019 04:52 - 1 hour - 68 MBMy friend Shelby Hintze shares her insights into a number of topics including being disabled, how to better value women’s voices at church, what she tried to accomplish as a YSA RS President and her role as a producer at KSL (Doug Wright show at 9 am Sunday). There are so many incredible nuggets of ‘Shelby Wisdom’ shared to help us better meet the needs of all of God’s children. I encourage everyone to listen to the podcast and connect with Shelby on Twitter @ShelbyHintze. Thanks for b...
Episode 159: Luke Warnock, 18, Gay, Corner Canyon Class of 2019 SBO President and Basketball Player
July 28, 2019 04:00 - 1 hour - 79.1 MBMy friend Luke Warnock bravely shares his journey of coming to terms with his sexual orientation during his time at Corner Canyon (High School in Salt Lake City area) while serving as SBO President and a starting member of the State Championship Basketball team. Luke shares coming out to close friends, his family and eventually broadly at Corner Canyon. It’s a remarkable and courageous story. Luke talks about the great support he is receiving from the Corner Canyon community and his hopes ...
Episode 158: Carlos Barbagelata, Gay, Friend, Undergraduate/Master’s Degrees University of Utah
July 27, 2019 01:20 - 1 hour - 54.7 MBOur family friend Carlos Barbagelata shares his journey moving forward in life as a gay man. Carlos came out at age 14 to friends and family and has received amazing support. Carlos went on to the University of Utah where he earned an undergraduate degree and a Master’s degree (Health Promotion and Education). He now works for IHC. Carlos also was at concert during the Las Vegas mass shooting and shares that horrible experience. You are a good man and friend, Carlos. Thanks for h...
Episode 157: Thomas McConkie, Active LDS, Author of ‘Navigating Mormon Faith Crisis’
July 25, 2019 04:28 - 1 hour - 66.3 MBMy friend Thomas McConkie shares his story stepping away from the LDS faith for about 20 years (age 13 – 32) and then returning. While away Thomas lived around the world and developed a deep spirituality as he connected with and learned from the good in other faiths. About 7 years ago while in Salt Lake City, Thomas shares spiritual experiences that led him back into the LDS faith. Thomas started a nonprofit called Lower Lights to heal and bring hope to others. Check out: https://lo...
Episode 156: Rebecca Buffington, Active LDS, Husband Jeb Not Active, 4 Kids, Staying Close
July 23, 2019 04:02 - 1 hour - 61.4 MBMy friend Rebecca Buffington (living in the Atlanta area) shares her journey in a ‘mixed-faith marriage’. Jeb (a RM) and Rebecca were married 20 years ago in the Mount Timpanogos Temple. 5 years into their marriage with two young children, Jeb told Rebecca he no longer believed. They have been on this road for the last 15 years. Jed still doesn’t believe. Rebecca shares valuable lessons to keep their marriage together based on personal revelation and common goals. The principals she...
Episode 155: Madi and Miles Robertson, Active LDS, Newly Married
July 21, 2019 03:43 - 1 hour - 77.5 MBMy friends Madi (bisexual) and Miles (straight) share their journey as active Latter-day Saints. They talk about their journey to love and accept all of Heavenly Father’s children as taught by Christ. Madi also bravely shares her journey as a bisexual Latter-day Saint coming out to her husband during the first year of their marriage and how this has brought them closer together. It’s a deeply touching story of honesty, vulnerability, and real communication resulting in a healthy marriage ...
Episode 154: Dale Larsen (gay, served as Bishop) & Unhui Larsen (straight, convert)
July 19, 2019 02:04 - 1 hour - 71.4 MBDale and Unhui Larsen, who have been married 42 years, have 4 children and 11 grandchildren, share their story. It is a love story. It’s a story of personal revelation. It starts with Dale and Unhui falling in love, starting a family and then Dale shares how he almost left that marriage and two little kids but receiving personal revelation to stay. Over the next 25 years, Dale and Unhui raised their family and served in the Church. When Dale’s Stake Presidency assignment ended in 2009 ...
Episode 153: Tekulve Jackson-Vann and James Jones, RMs, Temple Workers, Black Latter-day Saints
July 17, 2019 06:01 - 1 hour - 72.2 MBMy friends Tekulve and James share their journey as Black Latter-day Saints. We start with Tekulve sharing his recent experience as a Payson Temple worker where we was released (and then reinstated) because of his hair style (locs). Tekulve and James felt impressed to share this story as an important ‘inflection point’ where we can look inward as a people to see how we can do better with this FB post that went viral https://www.facebook.com/james.c.jones.31/posts/10105074268611999. They ...
Episode 152: Megan Lagerberg, Active LDS, Celebrating 12 Years of Marriage, Infertility
July 16, 2019 06:11 - 54 minutes - 43.9 MBMy friend Megan Lagerberg bravely shares her journey with infertility. It’s a difficult road emotionally, physically, and financially. Megan shares how she and her husband Todd have navigated a road of various unsuccessful treatments and their eventual success with IVF. After 3 years of treatments, they finally had a daughter (they now have two daughters). Megan shares her journey of feeling broken, depressed and attending church while working to overcome being angry with Heavenly Father. ...
Episode 151: David Doyle, Gay Latter-day Saint, RM, Stake Executive Secretary, Age 48
July 13, 2019 04:44 - 1 hour - 72.5 MBMy friend David Doyle calls in from the Tampa Florida area to share his story as a gay Latter-day Saint. It a beautiful and sometimes difficult story. David talks about the years before his mission, the years after his mission until age 40, and then coming out to his Ward/Stake leadership and family. David shares some of the wonderful things his Stake President has done to help LGBTQ members feel welcome. David also shares his positive interaction Elder Joaquin E. Costa (see https://...
Episode 150: Maggie Slighte, Convert, Trauma Survivor, Asexual
July 11, 2019 04:59 - 1 hour - 49.8 MBMy friend Maggie Slighte (in her early 50’s) shares some of her life story growing up having been sexually abused at a very young age. About 6 years ago, Maggie found and joined the Church which has brought her great spiritual healing. She is now has a calling as a Temple and Family History consultant in her Ward. Maggie shares her journey with ‘complex PTSD’ including the therapy she continues to receive. She also talks about doing starting to do Temple work for her abuser (who has p...
Episode 149: Kelleen Potter, LDS, Mother of 5 including 2 LGBTQ, Mayor of Heber City
July 09, 2019 05:46 - 1 hour - 60.7 MBMy friend Kelleen Potter shares her journey of her oldest son coming out as gay at age 14 (about 8 years ago) and her third child coming out as transgender who identifies as female (about 4 years ago). Kelleen also has a son on a LDS mission and two younger daughters. Kelleen shares finding resources, therapists (including Lisa Hansen) and community with Mama Dragons. Kelleen talks about why both of her LGBT children have stepped away from the Church and why she is at peace with that d...
Episode 148: Briant Carter, Active LDS, Gay, In His 60’s, Single
July 06, 2019 16:21 - 1 hour - 91.3 MBMy friend Briant Carter bravely shares his story as a gay Latter-day Saint who has been navigating this road for approximately 50 years. Briant, who has served in Bishoprics and Stake Presidencies, has only recently been able to set aside the shame for being gay including feelings of not being equal, broken, and less worthy. He now knows how to love himself and see himself as a wonderful son of Heavenly Parents. It’s a remarkable journey. Briant’s story will be helpful for our younger LGBTQ...
Episode 147: Kurt Nielsen, Age 59, RM, Active LDS, Gay, Married, 3 Children
June 30, 2019 19:29 - 1 hour - 92.9 MBMy friend Kurt Nielsen calls in from Yorba Linda California to bravely share his story as a gay Latter-day Saint. Kurt has come out to his dear wife Mary, three children and some trusted friends. Kurt has been following deep impressions his whole life and now feels called to share his story more broadly. Kurt shares his journey as a gay man growing up in Northern Utah, serving a mission, getting married and having a family. Unlike our younger LGBTQ members who have some support netwo...
Episode 146: Heidi Tucker, LDS Author, Bringing Hope in the Struggle
June 29, 2019 01:41 - 1 hour - 57.6 MBMy friend Heidi Tucker shares her story of having her world rocked when her wonderful son Austin come home from his mission early. Heidi had to go deep with Heavenly Father and the Savior to deal and come to peace with this difficult situation. This journey led to personal revelation to write a book called ‘Finding Hope in the Journey.’ Heidi’s book is designed to give hope when difficult things happen in our lives of which many are outside of our control. She shares principles and pe...
Episode 145: Darren Parry, Active LDS, Chairman Northwest Band of the Shoshone Nation
June 27, 2019 03:42 - 1 hour - 66.2 MBMy former missionary companion shares the story of his people, the Northwest Band of the Shoshone Nation. This group of Native Americans lived in Utah when Brigham Young arrived and their tribal leader Sagwitch visited with Brigham Young. This group helped the first Mormon settlers in the Cache valley but then most of their tribe was massacred in the Bear River Massacre in 1863. This was the largest massacre of Native Americans in history (around 400-450). Sagwitch later converted to t...
Episode 144: Jana Spangler, Active LDS, Expert of Faith Transitions
June 25, 2019 00:19 - 1 hour - 79.2 MBMy friend Jana Spangler, married mother of 3, talks about how to understand and minister to those in a faith transition and in a mix-faith marriage. Jana also talks about Fowler’s stages of faith a framework to help all of us better understand our differences and create common group. Jana, a Life Coach, shared these insights recently at North Star (a LDS LGBTQ support organization) and a Ward fireside. This will be a very helpful podcast for those looking for added insights and tools t...
Episode 143: Adam Durfee, BYU Professor, Age 30, Directs Y Digital at BYU
June 23, 2019 04:03 - 1 hour - 62.6 MBMy friend Adam Durfee talks about his career in digital marketing including starting a digital ad agency, being named social media innovator of the year, and leaving his agency to teach at BYU to help students be better digital marketers. Adam also advises the Church on its digital marketing efforts. Yes, Adam (married) is a Professor at BYU at the age of 30. But most of the podcast is Adam sharing insights into our LGBTQ siblings, bringing voice to our talented women (his favorite topi...
Episode 142: Nelson Lee, Active LDS, RM, Solving OCD, Anxiety and Depression
June 21, 2019 04:42 - 1 hour - 57.7 MBEpisode 142: Nelson Lee, Active LDS, RM, Solving OCD, Anxiety and Depression by Richard Ostler
Episode 141: Allan and Kattie Mount, Mixed Faith Marriage, 4 Kids, Staying Close
June 19, 2019 15:28 - 1 hour - 65.5 MBMy friends Allan and Kattie Mount share their journey of both being active LDS (both Barcelona Spain RMs) and then in Allan have a faith transition in 2017 that led him out of the church. In spite of his best efforts and wonder local leaders, Allan is no longer able to believe. Allan and Katie bravely share how they are navigating this space. Allan no longer attends on Sunday, but helps gets the kids ready for Church and participates with his EQ in service projects as he loves his church ...
Episode 140: Roxanne Kennedy, Active LDS, Divorced from Porn Addict, Mother of 4, Author
June 17, 2019 04:35 - 1 hour - 61 MBMy friend Roxanne Kennedy bravely shares her story of a 20 year marriage to a pornography addict (the marriage ended about 4 years ago). It’s a deeply touching story of how she turned to Heavenly Father for guidance and the atonement of Jesus Christ to heal and give hope. Showing great courage, vulnerability and acting on Heavenly Father’s impressions, she wrote a book called “Cutting Ties. Healing from Betrayal Trauma as the Spouse of an Addict.” See her web site to order the book an...
Episode 139: Ken & Sue Hansen (married parents of 3, LDS) & their son Hank (22, gay, less active)
June 15, 2019 02:02 - 1 hour - 71.5 MBMy dear friends Ken, Sue and Hank Hansen share their family story. Ken and Sue (a convert) have served the Church their whole lives outside of Utah (Illinois, Connecticut and New York). They talk about making their Wards loving and inclusive. Ken and Sue talk about the pain of the November 2015 Policy Statements and how that almost broke their testimonies but how they remain committed members. Ken and Sue now live in Utah and share the differences in Ward culture. Ken, Sue and Han...
Episode 138: Willy and Kristy Donahoo, 60 Pride Flags with a Neighbor to Neighbor Ask
June 13, 2019 02:23 - 1 hour - 67.9 MBMy friends Willy and Kristy Donahoo, who don’t have any immediate LGBTQ family members, share their story of becoming LGBTQ allies. It started with Willy’s talk in Church (Sept 2015) about owning the ‘visitors welcome’ message at our buildings when he mentioned the need to welcome our gay friends. Willy and Kristy then connected with Encircle (they serve on their advisory board). They talk about the need to proactively ‘act’ to be accepting versus a passive statement of acceptance. In A...
Episode 137: Amelia Hepworth, Active LDS, In Recovery from Eating Disorder, Bi-Sexual
June 11, 2019 05:25 - 1 hour - 48.9 MBMy good friend Amelia Hepworth (age 22 and in a serious relationship with her friend Greg) calls in from Kansas City, Kansas to bravely share some of her story. Amelia has bravely dealt with and mostly solved her eating disorder (anorexia) including a deeply spiritual experience at the Kansas City Temple giving her the courage to seek treatment. Amelia talks about how her eating disorder is not a sign of weakness or spiritual deficit, but a mental illness that needs clinically trained peopl...
Episode 136: Brothers Ian Calk (28, RM, in faith journey), Gareth Calk (25, RM, stepping away).
June 08, 2019 17:23 - 1 hour - 85.3 MBMy friends Ian and Gareth Calk (brothers) share the journey as Latter-day Saints navigating their faith. Ian has gone through a faith crisis and is currently active LDS. Gareth has stepped away. While neither brother is inviting others to follow their path, I believe it is helpful to hear their story so we can better understand why some of our members step away giving us better insights to minister to them. I believe the Good Shepherd knows His sheep well enough to know why one left and where...
Episode 135: Kurt Francom, Founder of Leading Saints, Active LDS, Ministering Insights
June 07, 2019 03:42 - 1 hour - 64.8 MBMy friend Kurt Francom, married father of 2, former Bishop and Stake Presidency member, joins me to share insights into effective local leadership. In 2010 Kurt founded Leading Saints (https://leadingsaints.org/) a non-profit to provide additional tools for local leaders including podcasts and virtual summits. This list of guests is impressive (Anthony Sweet, Tom Christofferson, Patrick Mason, Bruce and Marie Hafen and my brother Dave Ostler). The tag line of Leading Saints is ‘Be a L...
Episode 134: Matt Easton, RM, BYU Grad, Valedictorian
June 05, 2019 04:27 - 1 hour - 80 MBOur family friend Matt Easton shares his journey as a gay Latter-day Saint. Matt came out as gay during his BYU Valedictorian Speech at BYU for the College of Family, Home, and Social Sciences. Since that speech on April 29th, Matt has been features in thousands of stories and done hundreds of interviews including appearing on the Ellen DeGeneres show on May 6th. We are honored to call Matt a close family friend particularly our daughter Emily who is a fellow BYU Student. Glad to ha...
Episode 133: Dallon Smith & Taylor Winget, RMs, Engaged, Trying to Stay Engaged with the Church
June 02, 2019 01:40 - 1 hour - 68.1 MBMy friends Dallon Smith and Taylor Winget share their journey serving missions (Chile and Argentina, respectively), coming out as gay, graduating from college (Utah State and BYU respectively), starting to date, now getting married (Aug 2019) and continuing to attend church as best they can. They were featured by ABC4 last April https://www.abc4.com/…/same-sex-couple-choosing-…/1903886065. Dallon and Taylor share how their active and wonderful LDS families are supporting them in their upcom...
Episode 132: Kate Toronto, Active LDS, RM, Mid 20’s, Masters from Columbia with Thesis on LDS LGBTQ
May 30, 2019 04:25 - 1 hour - 68.5 MBMy friend Kate Toronto joins us to talk about stepping into the space of active LDS and understanding/supporting our LGBTQ friends when she felt impressed to do her thesis on this subject as part of earning a Master’s Degree in Psychology in Education from Columbia University in New York. As part of her thesis, she conducted research with 450 LGBTQ Latter-day Saints (mix of active/not active). She shares her findings, conclusions and pastoral implications for our LDS LGBTQ members. Kate...
Episode 131: Clare Marshall, LDS, Lives in England, Works for LGBT Foundation, Ward RS Presidency
May 26, 2019 23:02 - 1 hour - 66.9 MBMy friend Clare Marshall calls in from Warrington, England (one of my mission areas) to share her journey as an active Latter-day Saint and supporter of our LGBTQ+ friends. Clare, a life-long member in her 20’s, talks about a transgender ward member and her friendship with a transgender man during her youth, her mission in Frankfurt Germany, returning from her mission to study a masters in MSc Art Psychotherapy and final completing her dissertation and training year at a LGBT Health Centre be...
Episode 130: Brett Hales, Married Father of 5, Active LDS, Has MS, Kindness to All
May 23, 2019 22:40 - 1 hour - 62.5 MBMy friend Brett Hales shares his life story of growing in Magna, serving a mission in Alaska, marrying Cindy Ulrich (37 years ago), raising 5 kids (all married with 7 grandchildren), serving as a Bishop (sharing very tender stories involving priesthood blessings), being diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis and serving on the Murray City Council. Brett also shares his thoughts about our LGBTQ friends and people of other faiths and seeing the goodness in everyone.