Kiss Your Franchise Goodbye
154 episodes - English - Latest episode: 4 months ago -A movie podcast about film franchises, their ups and downs, franchises that worked, franchises that failed, franchises that never were.
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Episodes
A Hard Day's Night
March 21, 2024 01:55 - 1 hour - 62.6 MBIt's the Beatles! And we've been working like a dog! We're all George fans. The evolution of The Beatles as artists and where this movie fits in-- the bridge between Beatlemania/boy band and later Beatles. Monty Python. Elvis movies vs. Beatles movies. Paul's grandfather is a great villain. Next week is HELP! (not to be confused with The Help)
Metropolis (1984 Moroder Edition)
March 16, 2024 06:04 - 1 hour - 75.3 MBIt's JB's birthday pick and he has chosen the 1927 Fritz Lang classic Metropolis, restored and given a new soundtrack in the 80s by the King of 80s Soundtracks, Giorgio Moroder. Felt like homework to Kitt. This is Andy's superhero origin story: the literal zeitgeist of Weimar Germany and what this film was saying. Melissa hated this movie! What songs would we have picked to put in the movie? Studio notes for a remake version?
Crazy Heart
February 12, 2024 06:07 - 1 hour - 68.8 MBIt's a Mark birthday movie-- the very non-franchise-y Crazy Heart which won Jeff Bridges an Oscar. Unlike the Academy, the rest of us hated this movie to various degrees. Andy goes on a 25 minute rant about country music fans and the Fast Car remake. Mark says Andy needs to calm down. Melissa and Kitt still don't like the movie. Alcoholism. Schroedinger's Single Mom. The age difference thing. We do like the music though. JB appears just in time for studio notes. Can we separate art from arti...
Clerks 3
February 10, 2024 17:06 - 1 hour - 57.8 MBIt's the final(?! for now!) Clerks movie and boy is Melissa sorry. Having sex with dead people in heaven. Mark's hot take on Cleopatra: Not Hot. Mark's birthday movie is Crazy Heart starring Jeff Bridges which is streaming on HBO Max. JB's birthday movie is Metropolis: The Georgio Moroder version, which is available on YouTube.
Clerks 2
February 04, 2024 18:32 - 1 hour - 107 MBOnce again-- this episode is even more filthy than normal, because Kevin Smith. It's mostly just the Andy and Melissa show until BAM a wild JB and Mark appear at the very end. So much wrong with this movie. Mark likes Clerks 2 more than Clerks? Name 5 Soul Asylum songs. Sweet Relief: A Benefit for Victoria Williams is the name of the album. Next up we finish off Clerks with the third (and final?) entry. And Mark and JB will announce their birthday movies!
Clerks
January 29, 2024 18:44 - 1 hour - 94 MBWARNING: This episode is extra filthy. Just warning you. Because it's Kevin Smith's debut, Clerks. What is it about this movie? Much of it has not aged well, yet... maybe we shouldn't change a thing about it? Andy's and Kitt's mom introduced Andy to this movie. Perfect time capsule. Dante is a bad person. No, he's worse than a bad person-- he's a neutral person. Dante died! That soundtrack. Berkerzer!!! Handwaving over the Weinsteins. Andy's Kevin Smith phase. Next up, it's Clerks 2 (feat...
You've Got Mail
January 15, 2024 20:55 - 1 hour - 68.6 MBIt's a movie stuck in amber in 1998 - You've Got Mail! How has this aged so well while other 90s movies about the internet have not? Comparisons to Shop Around the Corner. Greg Kinnear. Parker Posey and "Patricia makes coffee nervous." Joe Fox is a bad bad bad bad man. You've Got Product Placement! Our next franchise is... Clerks! See you then!
Sleepless in Seattle
January 04, 2024 06:37 - 1 hour - 62 MBIt's essentially the template for all other rom coms that came after in the 90's-- Sleepless in Seattle. Somehow everyone has lived in or near Seattle except Andy, and he's a bad brother for not visiting even though Tom Hanks reminds us there's like 26 states between there and here! The Rob Reiner-Nora Ephron connection through When Harry Met Sally and how this went from a spec script by a 9th grade English teacher to being re-written by two different Oscar-winners. Swap genders and this is ...
Joe vs. the Volcano
December 27, 2023 03:13 - 1 hour - 61.5 MBIt's the holidays, so time to celebrate Meg-Ryan-Tom-Hanks-sgiving with the incredibly divisive and weird Joe vs. the Volcano. Next up is Sleepless in Seattle!
Spirited
December 20, 2023 04:18 - 1 hour - 65.6 MBAlright, who hates musicals?!? Then you're going to absolutely be annoyed by Spirited, but we're mixed overall. But those of us who love it still have some problems with it. Is the era of musicals just over? Could you recast this? It's all about Octavia Spencer. Let us see what happens AFTER (even though the movie was too long). Next episode we're back with Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan, starting with Joe vs the Volcano!
Kiss Kiss Bang Bang
December 14, 2023 05:24 - 1 hour - 46.9 MBIt's another alternative holiday movie! This time, neo noir caper from Shane Black Kiss Kiss Bang Bang. Melissa regrets this choice. When you're trying too hard to be cool. Shane Black is actually trying to be able to sit at the cool kids' table. Andy makes three major mistakes: Manute Bol is not Wilt Chamberlain. Deadwood is not Tombstone. Charles Grodin is not John Lithgow. He promises to take his brain pills before next episode. Recasting with John Barrowman or Matt Bomer? This movie vs. ...
Babe
November 26, 2023 06:27 - 1 hour - 48 MBWe're starting our trio of alt-holiday films with the talking pig classic, Babe. Why Brooke chose this movie. 1990s Provo Mormon prohibitions on PG13 movies, so... Babe! We didn't expect the social commentary! CHRISTMAS MEANS CARNAGE! Mrs. Farmer Hoggett is underwritten and the kids are annoying! Are the mice annoying? Be nice to retail workers during the holidays, people! Speaking of being dicks, the controversy between George Miller and credit for this movie. A very gentle film that feels ...
Bull Durham
November 20, 2023 04:12 - 1 hour - 64 MBThere IS crying in baseball, especially for Rangers fans, and especially with this movie. It's Melissa's birthday movie! And Mark is back! The romanticism of minor league baseball. Welcome to Wrexham. And finally, our trio of alt holiday movies! Babe (1995) Kiss Kiss Bang Bang Spirited (2022) -- note: NOT Spirited Away, which we would love to do but is not a holiday movie and Miyazaki is just too much.
Scream VI
November 13, 2023 04:47 - 1 hour - 58.1 MBIt's Scream 6 and the end (for now) of the Scream franchise. Brooke has 30 seconds to summarize all of her problems with this movie. We rank all of the films and Melissa updates us with her Smash or Pass of all the killers. For her birthday we're talking baseball and Bull Durham! Then a special surprise trilogy! Listen for what it is!
Scream V
October 31, 2023 07:39 - 1 hour - 53.8 MBIt's a re-quel, or whatever the kids are calling it these days. Why this movie totally rules, and fixes/elevates some of the problems from Scream 3 and 4. Jack Quaid. Toxic fandom. Nepo babies. And we end it with a game of "Smash or Pass" with all of our spooky season villains, including all the Scream murderers.
Scream 4
October 23, 2023 06:03 - 1 hour - 50.3 MBLike the scream franchise, we're back from a break and ready to talk this return! Isn't this like what Scream 3 was supposed to be? Why do people hate this movie? Who guessed the ending? Lack of progress on racial representation. 2010s and race in Hollywood. Melissa announces her birthday movie for after Scream 3-- and Go Rangers!
Scream 3
October 03, 2023 00:49 - 1 hour - 60.7 MBIt's Scream 3, it's October, welcome to official spooky season! (Also, Go Rangers!) Wes Craven's use of rape, specifically children who are a product of rape being evil. Carrie Fisher! Andy can't remember Clive Barker's Lord of Illusions and starts everyone doing Adam Sandler impressions. Randy sighting! Stab-a-thon! Secret siblings? Dumb trope. Announcing our guided meditation and scream therapy. Circle Stab! Hollywood Stabs-- circle gets the stab! Stab Your Luck! (the biggest giggle fit in...
Scream 2
September 25, 2023 00:54 - 1 hour - 51.4 MBIt's Scream 2 and Andy, Brooke and Melissa are... talking baseball? Also sequels. And how this is the most stacked supporting cast in the history of sequels... except maybe Sharknado 2. Treatment of Black characters in this movie and franchise. Are there any sequels better than the original? Next week Scream 3-- go Rangers!
Scream
September 20, 2023 03:17 - 1 hour - 67.8 MBNew series! Why this is the most Xennial movie ever. Intergenerational trauma and absent parents, absent adults. Kevin Williamson, Wes Craven, and more horrible tales of how awful the Weinstiens were. Drew Barrymore and that opening scene. The first "meta" film. Queer coding. Goddamn patriarchy. Rated NC-17 for "viscera." Box office and an insane slate of movies playing in its opening weekend.
Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny
September 11, 2023 02:57 - 1 hour - 64.6 MBWe say goodbye to Indy with a few tears but lots of analysis, and tangents about dating and patriarchy and legacy like you wouldn't believe! We also rank the Indy films and you won't believe how much we agree and disagree! Next up we're doing Scream! So pop your popcorn and let's talk about our favorite scary movies!
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
August 29, 2023 08:58 - 1 hour - 110 MBIt's the Indy movie we've been putting off and here we are finally. The film's treatment of its Indigenous people. Indy getting older. What are the elements of an Indiana Jones movie? Shia LeBeouf! Andy's studio notes and Malinche. Next week is the Dial of Destiny which is the most Mark de Leon movie ever. Stay to the end for a "bonus scene."
Barbie
August 18, 2023 03:15 - 2 hours - 126 MBHi Barbie! An all-Barbie episode featuring Brooke, Melissa, Kitt, returning from her previous guest spots Kelly, and Brooke's Skipper-- Pru! Welcome Barbies! Barbie and the Rockers Ken! Opening and closing music from the 1997 Lillith Fair featuring Indigo Girls, Sarah Mclachlan, Jewel, and Meredith Brooks.
The Secret Life of Walter Mitty
August 08, 2023 04:42 - 1 hour - 86.1 MBIt's Kitt's birthday movie pick-- the 2013 Ben Stiller film The Secret Life of Walter Mitty. Why Brooke hates Ben Stiller (but not in this movie). How we Mitty'd out of this movie several times. Major Tom/David Bowie. Danny Kaye and James Thurber. AMAZING stacked supporting cast. Andy's original review from Christmas 2013 where he gave this 3.5/5 stars. Hope you enjoyed! Next episode is our Barbie episode!
Indiana Jones and the Daddy Issues, er, Last Crusade
July 31, 2023 04:26 - 1 hour - 101 MBSpecial guest Christi joins us! How "Isolation Playhouse" script readings kept us sane during the pandemic. Everyone saw this in theaters! Some of us... in MALLS! We loved this movie! Because it's inoffensive? How this movie is about Spielberg's daddy issues. Upside/downside? Great movie about fathers and sons... and no female characters needed. A 20 minute debate about whether Elsa was a Nazi or not, and how complicit she was with acting with the Nazis. But those action sequences! Hat on a ...
Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
July 25, 2023 05:36 - 1 hour - 93 MBIndy's back (and so are we!) and most of the crew is back together fresh off our Barbenheimer viewings. History with this movie. PG-13. The sexism and Willie. The racism. But also? This movie has some great stuff-- the mine cart, Short Round, and more. A tangent about Sound of Freedom and Operation Underground Railroad. Next time back with Last Crusade!
Raiders of the Lost Ark
June 05, 2023 15:15 - 1 hour - 59.9 MBDon't look Marion! It's Raiders of the Lost Ark, and we have Joe from Tales from the Comic Shop with us. Indy/Star Wars merch nostalgia minute. Melissa is extra salty this week-- we talk briefly about the Texas Rangers. Is this a James Bond movie? Andy breaks out his weirdo George Lucas impression. The elephant in the room re Indy and Marion. George Lucas wanted her to be 11? Great, so he's a sexual predator tomb raider. But also this movie rules. Maybe artifacts like these should remain bur...
Saturday's Warrior Watch-Along Commentary
May 29, 2023 02:22 - 1 hour - 59 MBWatch along with us on YouTube with the Hard to Find Mormon Movies channel. And we're sorry. We also take a tiny break right before the "Line Upon Line" song and hit pause for a few minutes. But we tell you when we restart. Again, we're really really sorry.
Saturday's Warrior
May 29, 2023 02:13 - 36 minutes - 33.8 MBIt's Brooke's birthday so... we watched Saturday's Warrior? We're sorry. You can hear our entire commentary track, too. But here's the short of it. This is terrible. Pam is all the tropes. The Population Bomb, eco-fascism, and white nationalism. The goddamn patriarchy and its part in this. But join us next time for a movie with slightly fewer Nazis-- Raiders of the Lost Ark!
Evil Dead Rise
May 20, 2023 05:01 - 1 hour - 68.5 MBIt's Evil Dead Rise, which was just in theaters! Weirdly, we end up not talking about it that much, but instead go offf on long tangents about Scream, woodchippers, and then Brooke reveals her special birthday movie choice at the end. It's a doozy, and Andy would like to announce his retirement from the podcast as he has now gone to live in the woodchipper after this episode's studio note.
Evil Dead (2013)
May 09, 2023 18:55 - 39 minutes - 36.8 MBAndy, Melissa and Brooke are OVER this one. How did they make the tree rape WORSE? Diablo Cody? The Final Girl trope. No clever sign off because we're just so done. Next time it's Evil Dead Rise, which is now available on VOD!
The Cabin the the Woods
May 04, 2023 03:36 - 1 hour - 86 MBA quick Evil Dead Rise review! All about Joss Whedon (and Drew Goddard!) Separating art from artist, but... hoo boy. Fran Kranz as Whedon self-insert. MGM's financial troubles and the delays of the movie. Bad test screenings. Harry Knowles, Butt-Numb-a-Thon, and sex pests helping sex pests. Supermarket Sweep. Everything on the whiteboard. Archetypes. Sigourney Weaver is the GOAT. Not a troll-- Dante's Peak. Alt universe versions of this movie made by other directors. Back next time with 20...
Tucker and Dale vs Evil
April 10, 2023 03:45 - 1 hour - 58.7 MBIt's an Evil Dead-adjacent movie, Tucker and Dale vs Evil. The cabin looks like the cabin from Evil Dead! And the inside is like every other horror movie! And coupons for 2 for $3 chili dogs-- no limit! And all the teenagers are dying! Check out this handy list of all the deaths here! This movie is glorious and how did it not make more money? Next week, a continuation of the "cabin in the woods" trope with The Cabin in the Woods! Then back to Evil Dead after that.
Army of Darkness
April 04, 2023 04:22 - 1 hour - 65 MBAll right you primitive screwheads, listen up! It's time for Army of Darkness and boy are people mad! Army of Darkness: "You once found me funny." Andy and JB: "Honey, you got real misogynistic." What does hold up? Practical effects. Zany bits. Skeleton army. Rooting for the skeleton army! Through the power of time travel, Brooke appears! Budget troubles? Box office. Studio notes. Next week, a tangent! Tucker and Dale vs. Evil! The ultimte story of teens going to a cabin in the wood...
Evil Dead II
March 27, 2023 04:52 - 54 minutes - 50.2 MBWhat... what IS this movie? Confusing beginning. Horror vs Horror Comedy. Which do we like better? Sam Raimi's use of women characters. Next week it's Army of Darkness! Groovy!
The Evil Dead (1983)
March 21, 2023 13:51 - 1 hour - 67.9 MBNew season, new franchise! It's The Evil Dead, Sam Raimi's splatterfest cabin in the woods original! Why did Melissa want to do this franchise? What is everyone's experience with these movies? Content and Trigger warning: discussion of sexual assault and rape. The violence towards women in this movie. The production history of this movie. Raimi family connections! Xena! SeaQuest! Introducing our new award: Best kill/death! Next week, the remake/sequel: Evil Dead 2 - Dead by Dawn.
69th Episode Nice Princess Season Wrapup Awards and Oscars Presented by Jeffrey Katzenberg, Co-Founder of Quibi
March 14, 2023 06:01 - 1 hour - 71.2 MBIt's our 69th (nice) and final episode of Season 2! Oscar predictions and thoughts. Why Brooke didn't and JB did like Top Gun: Maverick. JB's Top "a-Ha!" moments! JB's best and worst movies -- one of which makes Andy's head explode Andy's Best Dogs JB's Best Sports Moment Brooke ranks the franchises Brooke's bests and worsts, including ranking all the birthday/special movies Andy ranked ALL of the movies on Letterboxd: https://letterboxd.com/whillice/list/kiss-your-franchise-goodb...
Creed III
March 08, 2023 02:51 - 2 hours - 114 MBIt's Creed 3 baby! It's NOT spoiler-free! Please don't listen unless you've seen the movie. How we watched this movie: Cinemark vs. Regal vs. Alamo Drafthouse. Mr T's Treat Your Mother Right Brooke's take via the power of editing! Again, not spoiler free. This doesn't feel like a "Rocky" movie because it isn't and feels weirdly disconnected. Can non-fans understand this movie out of context of the franchise? Why do we have to fridge another female character to motivate a main character? Am...
Creed II
February 28, 2023 07:13 - 1 hour - 77.7 MBCreed vs Drago, and the winner is all of us! Again, we all love this movie. Dinner scenes. Phylicia Rashad, Tessa Thompson, and BRIGITTE!! Dads and babies. Embarrassing Russian lessons with Andy. Weird tangents at the end about running/kinesiology/mental toughness, Nile Rogers, watching movies with Andy and Kitt's parents (these are all separate tangents). Next week Creed III comes out! We'll have a new episode early the next week after it comes out with no spoilers to give everyone a chanc...
Creed
February 22, 2023 05:53 - 1 hour - 69.4 MBIt's Creed! Is the best Rocky movie actually Creed? Ryan Coogler. Check out the Patreon for our discussion on Fruitvale Station. Check out Roy on Yours, Mine, and Theirs. Creed II is next!
Grave of the Fireflies
February 13, 2023 14:46 - 1 hour - 64.8 MBOne of the saddest movies we've ever covered- perfect for JB's birthday! In the waning days of World War II, two siblings, Seita and Setsuko, are orphaned and struggle to survive. Melissa offers a specifically spicy take on the film, and it devolves into a discussion about creeping fascism globally and in the United States. This is all about humanity and how we treat each other, which is generally badly. Next week we're back with Creed, which is far more fun! Check out The Patreon where we...
Rocky Balboa
February 06, 2023 06:20 - 1 hour - 77.5 MBIt's the sixth and final Rocky film, and we have another fight on our hands! Is it just boring, or is it artsy? Is it just trying too hard to be artsy? (Don't worry, kids. We all still love each other very much, even when we fight like this.) "Little Marie." Next week we're taking a break before the Creed movies and watching a JB birthday pick, "Grave of the Fireflies." Get ready to cry! Also, check out our Patreon where we talked about The Lodger! You can "buy that for a dollar!" and hav...
Rocky V
February 02, 2023 18:16 - 1 hour - 81.9 MBWe've got a fight on our hands as Brooke kind of loves this movie and Roy, Andy and Melissa do NOT. By the end we're comparing it to other famous turkeys we've covered like Demolition Man, The Power of One, and Moonraker and whether we liked Rocky V better or worse than those movies. Go vote in the Yours, Mine and Theirs poll about which wrestling movie they should watch (unless it's Foxcatcher) Next week we catch up with what Marie has been doing all these years in Rocky Balboa.
Rocky IV
January 23, 2023 02:41 - 2 hours - 136 MBIt's Rocky IV and Andy doesn't understand Roman numerals. The whole gang is back including Roy Fillmore and he and Andy promise not to talk about the Director's Cut too much. We break that promise over and over. But seriously, watch the theatrical cut. Roy's sexual awakening. Paulie. The sex robot. Drago isn't Soviet enough. "Oh no, it's Brigitte!" We re-enact a 1990 SNL sketch of Sly Stallone and other Hollywood stars giving hockey ideas to Wayne Gretzky. It's propaganda. Disagreement over ...
Rocky III
January 16, 2023 08:21 - 2 hours - 116 MBOur prediction? PAIN as Roy Fillmore from Yours, Mine and Theirs joins us again. This is the template movie for everything else. Adrian is the best. Carl Weathers' shoulders. Andy's rant about why 1982 was the best summer of movies ever. Watch Rocky IV for next week-- probably the theatrical cut but if you want to watch the new Director's Cut you can do that too.
Rocky II
January 09, 2023 07:08 - 1 hour - 97.1 MBRoy is back for a rematch talking Rocky II! The nueroscience of changing from southpaw to righty. Stallone's injury. "You're great!" subtitle. Twitter mail to Creed! Socioeconomics and gender norms of "the man provides." A birdwalk about Mormonism, women having careers, LGBTQ acceptance, etc. Roy is The Best Mormon. The Catholic Church robbed Melissa of her ambidexterity. International Rocky II posters ("Revanche!") and merch. NIGHTHAWKS! Watch Sylvester Stallone on The Muppet Show. Pity ...
Lords of Flatbush Trailer - Listen on Patreon!
January 07, 2023 17:12 - 2 minutes - 1.39 MBWe're launching our Patreon with movies too spicy for the main feed. Hear this two minute preview as Andy and Brooke talk the Rocky-adjacent film The Lords of Flatbush, but we also talk about the history of condoms, the Gilmore Girls, crying fetishes, and Andy's dalliance with screenwriting during the LDS cinema boomlet in the early 2000's. https://www.patreon.com/kissyourfranchisegoodbye
Rocky
January 01, 2023 14:12 - 1 hour - 105 MBWe're joined by Roy from Yours, Mine and Theirs, where he and Andy also talked about Rocky two years ago! Roy, Brooke and Andy think this is probably the best live action franchise ever. JB disagrees, as there's a lot of clunky character stuff at the beginning: you want to just put on Rocky 3 or 4. It's hard to separate this movie from the later films. It's even harder to separate it from the filming process itself and what it meant culturally. Apollo Creed RULES. The politics of this thing ...
Lady Vengeance
December 31, 2022 15:00 - 1 hour - 111 MBThe two old boys are back to talk about Lady Vengeance? (Everyone is back next time for Rocky-- we promise!) It's a Christmas movie? Decision to Leave and Hitchcock. The visuals of this film and use of color. A long weird side conversation about the filmography of David Koepp. Back next time with Rocky!
Oldboy
December 13, 2022 18:48 - 2 hours - 124 MBIt's just Andy and JB this time-- two old boys talking about Oldboy. Expanding the horizons of our understanding. Are the Koreans ok? The American myth that violence can fix anything. How do you live post vengeance? Does Dae-su have any agency? The use of mirrors as a visual motif. Park pulling from Hitchcock. What we would have liked from the Spike Lee remake. Could a female director fix this movie? Giving female characters any agency at all. Calling out mid-2000s movie sites who hyped this...
Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance
December 06, 2022 06:54 - 1 hour - 109 MB"F*** you, JB!" The panel is upset about this movie. It gave Brooke soul cancer. This episode is extra swear-y and full of even more adult content, so be forewarned. Also of this movie. Depictions of disability in the movie. Are we going to go watch Duets? Nothing is worth that. Next week is Oldboy! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/kissyourfranchisegoodbye/message