Keeping Records
135 episodes - English - Latest episode: over 1 year ago - ★★★★★ - 703 ratingsIn 1977, NASA sent the Voyager into space with two records known as the “Golden Records.” On them were recordings of notable historic music, evocative nature sounds, and murmurs from contemporary life, all used to paint a picture of humanity and the world at large. Things have changed a lot since 1977, so Caleb Hearon and Shelby Wolstein are trying their hand at an update. They're talking with comedians, musicians, and the like about what they would include on their own “golden record” if a new one were sent today. Songs, images, films, and moments are all on the table in this comedic reflection on art, media, and culture.
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Episodes
A Woman With Whimsy (with Blair Socci)
April 09, 2021 07:00 - 1 hourBlair Socci. Comedian. Actress. Writer. Scientist. Totally spur of the moment, out of nowhere, random as all hell, Caleb and Shelby ask Blair what she'd put on her Golden Record. And what Blair creates is a work of art. It's a record that will teach the aliens of how adorable humanity can be, and also of an unparalleled, Grammy Award-winning alternative rock record from 1995. Blair also rebukes those who abandoned Anne Hathaway in her time of need, in the process absolving one of our hosts (o...
A Woman With Whimsy w/ Blair Socci
April 09, 2021 07:00 - 1 hour - 59.6 MBBlair Socci. Comedian. Actress. Writer. Scientist. Totally spur of the moment, out of nowhere, random as all hell, Caleb and Shelby ask Blair what she'd put on her Golden Record. And what Blair creates is a work of art. It's a record that will teach the aliens of how adorable humanity can be, and also of an unparalleled, Grammy Award-winning alternative rock record from 1995. Blair also rebukes those who abandoned Anne Hathaway in her time of need, in the process absolving one of our hosts (...
Ball Saves Lives (with Katie Kershaw)
April 02, 2021 07:00 - 1 hourKatie Kershaw (Mrs. Fletcher, Fargo, Pathetic Woman) thought hard about what to include on her Golden Record. And —truly? honestly?—it shows in its perfection. The aliens need to understand that humans are a species that should not be messed with, and they will learn that through our insane eating habits, eagerness to engage in awkward social interactions, and folk songs about fire. Katie's Artifacts Martina McBride, "Independence Day" (audio-visual) The coffee cup of a keynote speaker at a...
Ball Saves Lives w/ Katie Kershaw
April 02, 2021 07:00 - 1 hour - 65.7 MBKatie Kershaw (Mrs. Fletcher, Fargo, Pathetic Woman) thought hard about what to include on her Golden Record. And —truly? honestly?—it shows in its perfection. The aliens need to understand that humans are a species that should not be messed with, and they will learn that through our insane eating habits, eagerness to engage in awkward social interactions, and folk songs about fire. Katie's Artifacts Martina McBride, "Independence Day" (audio-visual) The coffee cup of a keynote speaker at a ...
I Love Murder w/ Amy Miller
March 26, 2021 07:00 - 1 hour - 64 MBComedian Amy Miller comes to the pod to settle an age-old feud with Caleb (started like a month ago?) and to ignite a brand-new feud with Shelby (over burritos). And there's also her Golden Record, which is loaded like a Bay Area super-burrito with artifacts to communicate to the aliens what they need to know about human life. Caleb and Shelby and Amy also discuss the scariest sound collage of all time, which, incidentally, is what NASA sent to the aliens. Amy's Artifacts Watching a grown m...
I Love Murder (with Amy Miller)
March 26, 2021 07:00 - 1 hourComedian Amy Miller comes to the pod to settle an age-old feud with Caleb (started like a month ago?) and to ignite a brand-new feud with Shelby (over burritos). And there's also her Golden Record, which is loaded like a Bay Area super-burrito with artifacts to communicate to the aliens what they need to know about human life. Caleb and Shelby and Amy also discuss the scariest sound collage of all time, which, incidentally, is what NASA sent to the aliens. Amy's Artifacts Watching a grown ma...
Hard and Wet (with Jacquis Neal)
March 19, 2021 07:00 - 1 hourActor, podcaster, and producer Jacquis Neal (Culture Kings, The Cast, UCB) puts together one of the most well-rounded records we here at not-NASA have ever seen. Film, television, music, food, and human experience—it's all on there. We fully endorse Jacquis for President of the United States of America. Jacquis's Artifacts Jay-Z, "Meet The Parents" (audio) Martin (audio-visual) The Truman Show (audio-visual) Skinny Dipping in Provincetown, MA (human experience) Crispy Onion Chicken Recip...
Hard and Wet w/ Jacquis Neal
March 19, 2021 07:00 - 1 hour - 59 MBActor, podcaster, and producer Jacquis Neal (Culture Kings, The Cast, UCB) puts together one of the most well-rounded records we here at not-NASA have ever seen. Film, television, music, food, and human experience—it's all on there. We fully endorse Jacquis for President of the United States of America. Jacquis's Artifacts Jay-Z, "Meet The Parents" (audio) Martin (audio-visual) The Truman Show (audio-visual) Skinny Dipping in Provincetown, MA (human experience) Crispy Onion Chicken Recipe (f...
Shitting Your Pants for Perspective (with Molly Kearney)
March 12, 2021 08:00 - 1 hourComedian Molly Kearney builds a Golden Record full of the things the aliens could never dream of. What will they think of an animated film in which all of the characters are humanoid dogs, some of which are insanely hot? Sure, they could imagine a car, but what about a minivan with the door falling off and all the back benches removed, blaring the best piano rock tunes of the last fifty years? Do they have geode caverns on their planet? Probably not. A hug from Molly's mom? Not in their galax...
Shitting Your Pants for Perspective w/ Molly Kearney
March 12, 2021 08:00 - 1 hour - 60.6 MBComedian Molly Kearney builds a Golden Record full of the things the aliens could never dream of. What will they think of an animated film in which all of the characters are humanoid dogs, some of which are insanely hot? Sure, they could imagine a car, but what about a minivan with the door falling off and all the back benches removed, blaring the best piano rock tunes of the last fifty years? Do they have geode caverns on their planet? Probably not. A hug from Molly's mom? Not in their galax...
Manic Pixie Dream Cop (with Lauren Lapkus)
March 05, 2021 08:00 - 1 hourActress, comedian, writer, and podcaster Lauren Lapkus (The Wrong Missy, Jurassic World, Crashing) creates a Golden Record full of experiences, emotions, and tastes. She will not, however, taste anything called "salad" that isn't an actual salad, because honestly that is a repulsive concept. Lauren's Artifacts Watching the opening credits of Who's the Boss (multisensory experience) The feeling of lost cat being found (multisensory experience) About Time (audio-visual) The sensation of pee...
Manic Pixie Dream Cop w/ Lauren Lapkus
March 05, 2021 08:00 - 1 hour - 68.5 MBActress, comedian, writer, and podcaster Lauren Lapkus (The Wrong Missy, Jurassic World, Crashing) creates a Golden Record full of experiences, emotions, and tastes. She will not, however, taste anything called "salad" that isn't an actual salad, because honestly that is a repulsive concept. Lauren's Artifacts Watching the opening credits of Who's the Boss (multisensory experience) The feeling of lost cat being found (multisensory experience) About Time (audio-visual) The sensation of peeing...
It's Not For You (with Beth Stelling)
February 26, 2021 08:00 - 1 hourComedian and podcaster Beth Stelling ordered some sandwiches...like...an hour ago. They're still not here yet but she's going to go ahead and get started telling Caleb and Shelby her plans for her Golden Record: people falling over and hurting themselves but like not reaaaally hurting themselves, her niece meeting a woodland creature, Ted Danson absolutely nailing it on—oh shit, someone's knocking, brb Beth's Artifacts Falling compilations (audio-visual) Niece meeting a bunny for the first ...
It's Not For You w/ Beth Stelling
February 26, 2021 08:00 - 1 hour - 67.3 MBComedian and podcaster Beth Stelling ordered some sandwiches...like...an hour ago. They're still not here yet but she's going to go ahead and get started telling Caleb and Shelby her plans for her Golden Record: people falling over and hurting themselves but like not reaaaally hurting themselves, her niece meeting a woodland creature, Ted Danson absolutely nailing it on—oh shit, someone's knocking, brb Beth's Artifacts Falling compilations (audio-visual) Niece meeting a bunny for the first t...
Earth is Flat, Paul is Dead w/ Mae Martin
February 19, 2021 08:00 - 1 hour - 61.2 MBComedian, writer, and actor Mae Martin (Feel Good) submits their Golden Record artifacts to Caleb and Shelby. They also discuss nude hide and seek, causing chaos in amusement parks, and bad psychic mediums. Mae's Artifacts The feeling of being about to be discovered in hide and seek (multisensory experience) Blake Lively in The Town saying "How do you know Dougie?" (multisensory experience) Hocus Pocus (audio-visual) The Beatles (audio) Original Voyager Artifact President Jimmy Carter's let...
Earth is Flat, Paul is Dead (with Mae Martin)
February 19, 2021 08:00 - 1 hourComedian, writer, and actor Mae Martin (Feel Good) submits their Golden Record artifacts to Caleb and Shelby. They also discuss nude hide and seek, causing chaos in amusement parks, and bad psychic mediums. Mae's Artifacts The feeling of being about to be discovered in hide and seek (multisensory experience) Blake Lively in The Town saying "How do you know Dougie?" (multisensory experience) Hocus Pocus (audio-visual) The Beatles (audio) Original Voyager Artifact President Jimmy Carter's...
We Are Mops (with Sydnee Washington)
February 12, 2021 08:00 - 44 minutesComedian and podcaster Sydnee Washington (Hobby Hunter, Syd Can Cook) is prepared to show the aliens what they need to know about humans: the power of Rhianna, Earth's laziness, what we're willing to do for horniness, and Queen Latifah. Sydnee's Artifacts Fenty Makeup (tool) Swiffer mop (tool) Strap-on (tool) Set It Off (audio-visual) "Do You Think...?" Listener Picks Mary Kate Olsen's Zoom Divorce (audio-visual) Nicki Minaj calling out Miley Cyrus at the VMAs (audio-visual) sensatio...
We Are Mops w/ Sydnee Washington
February 12, 2021 08:00 - 42 minutes - 39.1 MBComedian and podcaster Sydnee Washington (Hobby Hunter, Syd Can Cook) is prepared to show the aliens what they need to know about humans: the power of Rhianna, Earth's laziness, what we're willing to do for horniness, and Queen Latifah. Sydnee's Artifacts Fenty Makeup (tool) Swiffer mop (tool) Strap-on (tool) Set It Off (audio-visual) "Do You Think...?" Listener Picks Mary Kate Olsen's Zoom Divorce (audio-visual) Nicki Minaj calling out Miley Cyrus at the VMAs (audio-visual) sensation of a...
Night is for the Freaks (with Samantha Irby)
February 05, 2021 08:00 - 1 hourComedian and writer Samantha Irby (Wow, No Thank You; Meaty; Shrill) creates a Golden Record full of artifacts that she hopes the aliens will find life-changing. She also expresses her thoughts on what she would do with Henry Cavill in inappropriate public settings. Sam's Artifacts Gone Girl, the book not the movie (literature) A live Tori Amos bootleg cassette (audio) Mission: Impossible - Fallout (audio-visual) Dlisted.com comment section from 2008 - (web archive) The burn of an excess...
Night is for the Freaks w/ Samantha Irby
February 05, 2021 08:00 - 1 hour - 69.4 MBComedian and writer Samantha Irby (Wow, No Thank You;Meaty; Shrill) creates a Golden Record full of artifacts that she hopes the aliens will find life-changing. She also expresses her thoughts on what she would do with Henry Cavill in inappropriate public settings. Sam's Artifacts Gone Girl, the book not the movie (literature) A live Tori Amos bootleg cassette (audio) Mission: Impossible - Fallout (audio-visual) Dlisted.com comment section from 2008 - (web archive) The burn of an excessively...
Fugue Chicken State (with Zoe Lister-Jones)
January 29, 2021 08:00 - 1 hourActor, writer, director and producer Zoe Lister-Jones (How it Ends, The Craft: Legacy, Life in Pieces) creates a Golden Record to educate aliens on human sexuality, food, and reckoning. Also about the power of diffuse lighting. Zoe's Artifacts Liz Phair's Exile in Guyville (audio) Chicken (food) Michaela Coel's I May Destroy You (audio-visual) Mask Fashion (human ephemera) Jennifer Lopez's lighting package (human ephemera) Follow the show @keepingrecordspod Advertise on Keeping Records ...
Fugue Chicken State w/ Zoe Lister-Jones
January 29, 2021 08:00 - 1 hour - 59.5 MBActor, writer, director and producer Zoe Lister-Jones (How it Ends, The Craft: Legacy, Life in Pieces)creates a Golden Record to educate aliens on human sexuality, food, and reckoning. Also about the power of diffuse lighting. Zoe's Artifacts Liz Phair's Exile in Guyville (audio) Chicken (food) Michaela Coel's I May Destroy You(audio-visual) Mask Fashion (human ephemera) Jennifer Lopez's lighting package (human ephemera) Follow the show @keepingrecordspod Advertise on Keeping Records via G...
Riot Mentality (with Caitie Delaney)
January 22, 2021 08:00 - 1 hourWriter and generally amazing human Caitie Delaney (Rick and Morty) creates a Golden Record of various elements of Earth pop culture. Caitie's Artifacts Livestreams of Disney Adults (audio-visual) French Montana, "Pop That" (audio) Richard Linklater's Before Sunset Trilogy (audio-visual) Paparazzi Photos (image) Original Voyager Artifact Demonstration of Eating, Licking and Drinking (image) Follow the show @keepingrecordspod Advertise on Keeping Records via Gumball.fm See omnystudio.com/...
Riot Mentality w/ Caitie Delaney
January 22, 2021 08:00 - 1 hour - 60.7 MBWriter and generally amazing human Caitie Delaney (Rick and Morty) creates a Golden Record of various elements of Earth pop culture. Caitie's Artifacts Livestreams of Disney Adults (audio-visual) French Montana, "Pop That" (audio) Richard Linklater's Before Sunset Trilogy (audio-visual) Paparazzi Photos (image) Original Voyager Artifact Demonstration of Eating, Licking and Drinking (image) Follow the show @keepingrecordspod Advertise on Keeping Records via Gumball.fm See omnystudio.com/l...
Vibing Out Mankind (with Steve Hernandez)
January 15, 2021 08:00 - 59 minutesComedian and podcaster Steve Hernandez fills his Golden Record with vibes. It's not just the items, it's the feelings. Steve's Artifacts Eating chips and dip with family on holidays (multisensory experience) Receiving enjoyable anal sex for the first time (multisensory experience) When the Holy Spirit drops during "Pour Out My Heart" (multisensory experience) First time being permitted to feel a breast (multisensory experience) Follow the show @keepingrecordspod Advertise on Keeping Reco...
Vibing Out Mankind w/ Steve Hernandez
January 15, 2021 08:00 - 57 minutes - 52.7 MBComedian and podcaster Steve Hernandez fills his Golden Record with vibes. It's not just the items, it's the feelings. Steve's Artifacts Eating chips and dip with family on holidays (multisensory experience) Receiving enjoyable anal sex for the first time (multisensory experience) When the Holy Spirit drops during "Pour Out My Heart" (multisensory experience) First time being permitted to feel a breast (multisensory experience) Follow the show @keepingrecordspod Advertise on Keeping Record...
Beer for the Children (with Jake and Amir)
January 08, 2021 08:00 - 1 hourJake and Amir, AKA Caleb and Shelby's Headgum bosses, check in on how the Golden Record project is coming. Inadvertently they are tricked into compiling their own list of artifacts to send to outer space. Jake's Artifacts "Wounded" by Third Eye Blind (audio) Making out (multisensory experience) Cold swim on a hot day (multisensory experience) Parents laughing at his sister's wedding (image) Amir's Artifacts A fart (audio) McDonalds in your car (multisensory experience) Rubik's Cube (h...
Beer for the Children w/ Jake and Amir
January 08, 2021 08:00 - 1 hour - 55 MBJakeandAmir, AKA Caleb and Shelby's Headgum bosses, check in on how the Golden Record project is coming. Inadvertently they are tricked into compiling their own list of artifacts to send to outer space. Jake's Artifacts "Wounded" by Third Eye Blind (audio) Making out (multisensory experience) Cold swim on a hot day (multisensory experience) Parents laughing at his sister's wedding (image) Amir's Artifacts A fart (audio) McDonalds in your car (multisensory experience) Rubik's Cube (human eph...
A Return to Modesty w/ Naomi McPherson
January 01, 2021 08:00 - 1 hour - 69.2 MBMusician and producer Naomi McPherson (of MUNA) plans their Gold Record with Caleb and Shelby. Naomi's Artifacts Robyn's "Dancing On My Own" (audio) Kim Cattrall Scatting (audio-visual) Teenage emotions and forgetting what it's like to have them (human experience) Original Voyager Artifact Chuck Berry, "Johnny B. Goode" (audio) Follow the show @keepingrecordspod Advertise on Keeping Records via Gumball.fm See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
A Return to Modesty (with Naomi McPherson)
January 01, 2021 08:00 - 1 hourMusician and producer Naomi McPherson (of MUNA) plans their Gold Record with Caleb and Shelby. Naomi's Artifacts Robyn's "Dancing On My Own" (audio) Kim Cattrall Scatting (audio-visual) Teenage emotions and forgetting what it's like to have them (human experience) Original Voyager Artifact Chuck Berry, "Johnny B. Goode" (audio) Follow the show @keepingrecordspod Advertise on Keeping Records via Gumball.fm See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Aliens Aren't Just Boys w/ Sabrina Jalees
December 25, 2020 08:00 - 48 minutes - 44 MBSabrina Jalees joins Caleb and Shelby and to build her Golden Record. The theme? Use it to create a Sabrina Jalees space colony/megachurch. Sabrina's Artifacts One of her frozen embryos (biological sample) Tushy bidet (tool) Her dad's curried shrimp crepes recipe (document) Her son's DNA (biological sample) A flip book of all her headshots (image) Follow the show @keepingrecordspod Advertise on Keeping Records via Gumball.fm See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Aliens Aren't Just Boys (with Sabrina Jalees)
December 25, 2020 08:00 - 50 minutesSabrina Jalees joins Caleb and Shelby and to build her Golden Record. The theme? Use it to create a Sabrina Jalees space colony/megachurch. Sabrina's Artifacts One of her frozen embryos (biological sample) Tushy bidet (tool) Her dad's curried shrimp crepes recipe (document) Her son's DNA (biological sample) A flip book of all her headshots (image) Follow the show @keepingrecordspod Advertise on Keeping Records via Gumball.fm See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Porn is Over Party (with Holmes Holmes)
December 18, 2020 08:00 - 55 minutesCaleb and Shelby invite Holmes Holmes over (digitally) to build their Golden Record. Holmes's Artifacts Janelle Monáe, "Make Me Feel" music video (audio-visual) Laughing hard with friends (human experience) Shrill, S01E04 "Pool" (audio-visual) Original Voyager Artifact Diagram of Vertebrate Evolution (image) Follow the show @keepingrecordspod Advertise on Keeping Records via Gumball.fm See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Porn is Over Party w/ Holmes Holmes
December 18, 2020 08:00 - 52 minutes - 48.5 MBCaleb and Shelby invite Holmes Holmes over (digitally) to build their Golden Record. Holmes's Artifacts Janelle Monáe, "Make Me Feel" music video (audio-visual) Laughing hard with friends (human experience) Shrill, S01E04 "Pool" (audio-visual) Original Voyager Artifact Diagram of Vertebrate Evolution (image) Follow the show @keepingrecordspod Advertise on Keeping Records via Gumball.fm See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Keeping Records — Launch Imminent
December 14, 2020 22:49 - 1 minuteJoin Caleb Hearon and Shelby Wolstein as they attempt an update of NASA’s 1977 “Golden Records.” Each week, Caleb and Shelby are talking with guests about what art, cultural artifacts, and personal memorabilia they’d send into space; or what would make their “Golden Record.” Episodes dropping weekly December 2020. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.