[REPLAY] Hey ladies, stop apologizing! With Professor Maja

Perhaps at the beginning of the year it was the shift to virtual, the technology, reduction in pipeline but have you considered the effect our language has on our confidence? particularly over-apologizing.

Professor Maja joined me on the K2 Sales Podcast to share her studies, recommendations and findings related to women unconsciously  over-apologizing, particularly using the word “sorry".  It’s not  that men don’t do it, they have a higher threshold.

This is a good reminder as we say goodbye to 2021, what positive habits and  behaviours will be intentional for us in 2022  and beyond.

Apologies help to ease tension, resolve conflict. Don’t take apologizing out of your vocabulary,
bring awareness how often and the reason we say sorry so much.

Hey Ladies, why are you apologizing for needless issues?

Starting or finishing your sentence with “sorry”. Sorry can I ask you a question” Sorry can you
repeat that? Sorry I was on mute”.

Apologies are confidence killers.  We discuss alternatives to saying “sorry” Thanks for
waiting, Thank you for your patience.

Prof Maja breaks down many of the areas women struggle with and suggestions to work
through them from Imposter syndrome, perfectionism, confidence and much more.

[2:36] Prof Maja’s background and curiosity that led her to study sociology
[ 5:40] Internal barriers of self-doubt, second guessing yourself, minimizing our experiences,
downplaying our accomplishments
[7:12] Why are women apologizing so much?
Men have a super high threshold of with they deem worthy as deserving an apology
[10:22] How others perceive us when we say sorry for unnecessary, small things.
1) Not confident, insecure, doubtful
2) Incompetent
3) Weak, passive, not leadership material, “people pleasers”
4) Former apologizers, we see ourselves in them, “common humanity”
[11:42] Genuine apology vs unnecessary apologizing, why we throw it in as a filler word
[14:42] How apologies plant a seed of doubt in your audience’s mind
[17:41] What can we replace “sorry” with? “ Thank you, Excuse me or allow for silence
[23:50] Feminine modesty- under represent or downplay our accomplishments, the need to
justify our accomplishments by luck, timing, right person right term etc.
[26:39] Definition of humbleness- having or showing a low estimate of one’s own worth or
importance
[31:34] How to teach and influence gender equality from a young age
[33:42] Dr. Valerie Young, Imposter Syndrome expert, The 5 Competency Levels
The most primary one is The Perfectionist; it focuses on how something is done. Flawlessness
vs excellence, unrealistic expectation that will set us up for failure
[40:18] How can we destigmatize our relationship with failure? How can we recognize failure is normal, it is part of the process, avoid ruminating and dwelling on it.
[44:45] Automatic negative thoughts
[46:43] Linking an accomplishment to a personal characteristic, prevent yourself from tying it to good luck, right timing etc. own your accomplishments
[52:09] Self-compassion vs your inner critic
[53:44] How mindfulness can help us interrupt our automatic negative voice
[57:58] Demystify confidence myths, confidence is a skill. Take action first and the confident
feelings come much later. Get out of your comfort zone on a regular ba

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