ShouldaWouldaCoulda - How to Motivate Your Coaching Clients to Take Action (Micène Fontaine)

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I should do this. I should do that. Are you hearing a whole lot of “I should” from your coaching clients, but they’re not making progress on their desires and dreams? Have your clients been should-ing themselves to death? Have you? How do you motivate your coaching clients to take action and follow through? And what's the harm in engaging in a little should-ing anyway?

In this episode of Just Between Coaches, senior coach and host Melinda Cohan invites her coaching colleague, Micène Fontaine, an entrepreneur at Designarts.org, and a former ACES coach at Mirasee, to address this common coaching challenge. During this session, they’ll discuss how coaches can help their clients tackle the very common habit of should-ing.

In this episode we discuss:

Why do we “should” all over ourselves?Whose story are you telling when you “should” yourself? How does it help to take the BMW (bitch, whine, moan) around the block?Does the habit of should-ing differ depending on demographics?

“It's a very cathartic way of letting go of those stories that are not ours.” – Micène Fontaine

Guest bio: After a chance encounter with a yellow elephant, Micène Fontaine left his role as an ACES Business Coach and shifted his focus inward to explore creativity, its role in business and personal development. When he is not doodling, writing, running, or baking blueberry pies, Micène runs a lifelong learning organization (Design Arts Seminars, Inc.) that helps design professionals leverage the power of design and architecture to solve today’s most pressing societal and environmental challenges. Micène writes a blog on Change by Design and occasionally appears on Podcasts such as this one :-) You can connect with Micène on  LinkedIn or nurture your own yellow elephant on Instagram or at micene.com.

Resources or websites mentioned in this episode:

Micène Fontaine @ Designarts.org 

Mirasee 

Coaches Console  

Credits:

Guest - Micène FontaineHost - Melinda CohanProducer - Cynthia LambExecutive producer - Danny InyWriter - Melinda Cohan, Michi Lantz,  and Cynthia LambAssembled by - Geoff GovertsenAudio Post Supervisor: Evan Miles, Christopher Martin Audio Post Production by Post Office SoundMusic soundscape: Chad Michael Snavely 

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Music and SFX credits:

Track Title: Clouds

Artist Name(s): Acreage

Writer Name: Marshall Usinger

Publisher Name: BOSS SOUNDSTRIPE PRODUCTIONS  

Track Title: Coastline Dream

Artist Name(s): Wild Sky

Writer Name: Adam Simons

Publisher Name: BOSS SOUNDSTRIPE PRODUCTIONS  

Track Title: Coo Coos

Artist Name(s): Dresden, The Flamingo

Writer Name: Matthew Wigton

Publisher Name: A SOUNDSTRIPE PRODUCTION 

Track Title: Stars & Trees

Artist Name(s): Outside The Sky

Writer Name: Dustin Ransom

Publisher Name: A SOUNDSTRIPE PRODUCTION 

Episode transcript: ShouldaWouldaCoulda - How to Motivate Your Coaching Clients to Take Action (Micène Fontaine)

[00:00:01] Melinda: Mirasee,

 

[00:00:06] Micène: I think it's part, it's hard wired into our behaviors as human beings, but we can make peace with it, we can let it be and say it's not helpful and that's not aligned with who I am, what I want to do and it's not my story.

 

[00:00:22] Melinda: Hello and welcome to Just Between Coaches, the podcast that tackles difficult coaching conversations head on, My name is Melinda Cohen, my company, the coaches console has supported more than 50,000 entrepreneurs in creating their own profitable coaching businesses. Today we're going to talk about a very common and equally important topic that all coaches have to deal with. Mm it's a tendency, even a habit of so many of us I'm talking about should ng, I should do this, I should do that. What's the harm? And engaging in a little shooting? My coaching colleague, Micène Fontaine, an entrepreneur and an aces coach at mere seat will explain in just a few minutes, but to start off the episode, I'm going to read an email that we received from a listener, it's from a coach who wants to remain anonymous and a little side note here. Unless you tell me otherwise, any email that you send me that we read on the air will be anonymous. We want to encourage you to be open about what's troubling you without worrying about what your clients might think. Mm Hi Melinda. I'm having trouble with a client of mine staying on track and trusting the process. He perceives that he should be ahead of where he actually is. He's very determined and devoted to his businesses vision. But there's a gap between his vision and reality. He's constantly in the mindset of I should be at such and such a level by now or he'll say something like if I had only gotten 10 more students in my course, I would be seen as an expert. His constant should've woulda Coulda is getting in his way. He's losing his motivation and momentum and what can I do to help him anonymous? I understand I have experienced this a lot. My clients, my students, other coaches, everybody, we all should all over ourselves. My very first coach, which was 19 years ago now very directly pointed it out to me, Melinda. She said you're shutting all over yourself. But is this a problem that is fixable? Or is this just an inevitable human behavior? What is this should-ingthing about? Why do we do it? And is it always a harmful thing? Yes and no. Let me explain when we're stepping out of our comfort zone, going for a goal or our desire. We start to talk about the things we should do to get there. The kind of should-ingkeeps us in forward motion. We feel like we're making progress even when we may not be making as much progress as we like. That can be helpful. Should that Should is also a way to set intentions. If we have awareness, we can say let's move from a should intention to an action item. So this should can become a reality. However, if we're not careful and we live in the land of ambivalence for too long, that's when the should-in...