Just Asking

What's the secret to happiness?

October 26, 2018 18:30 - 14 minutes - 20.1 MB

The one thing we all have in common is that we’re alive. Besides that, our experiences may vary. So how do we make the best of our time here? This week, we discuss the three things we all need to live a happy, healthy and balanced life. Follow me on Social: Facebook: @StevenIngMFT Twitter: @StevenIngMFT Soundcloud: Just Asking with Steven Ing -Stevening – Dati... Links: Website: stevening.com/ Books: stevening.com/store Speaking engagements: stevening.com/book-steven Consulting: stevening.c...

How can I reduce the drama?

October 09, 2018 18:04 - 21 minutes - 29.7 MB

Drama is the needless escalation of a problem, and there are people who thrive on it. So, how do we handle drama and the people who perpetuate it in our own lives? Follow Steven on Social: Facebook: @StevenIngMFT Twitter: @StevenIngMFT Soundcloud: Just Asking with Steven Ing -https://soundcloud.com/stevening

Does God care if you're gay?

September 19, 2018 04:34 - 38 minutes - 248 MB

Religion’s relationship with sexuality is precarious to say the least, but does God accept us regardless of our orientation? How about religion? This week, we discuss faith, religion, sexuality and community with Kathy Baldock, an expert on the historical religious discrimination against members of the LGBTQIA+ community. She is the author of “Walking the Bridgeless Canyon: Repairing the Breach Between the Church and the LGBT Community” and founder of Canyonwalker Connections, an organizat...

How do we define gender equality?

September 11, 2018 00:56 - 22 minutes - 145 MB

The #MeToo movement has shined a light on sexual harassment and gender equality in the workplace. It has also encouraged some men to step up and demand equality in areas like paternity leave and child support. But what about ladies night at the local bar? Is that worth suing over? Some of these are complicated issues with complicated answers, which we explore in this podcast. Follow me on Social: Facebook: @StevenIngMFT Twitter: @StevenIngMFT Soundcloud: Just Asking with Steven Ing -https://...

How do I talk to my kids about sex?

August 24, 2018 16:58 - 33 minutes - 46.2 MB

Do you remember “the talk”, sex ed, figuring out sexuality and how awkward it all was? Shouldn’t we be able to make it easier for the next generation? This week Steven and Jackie sit down with Nicole Howes from Reno Moms Blog and Jonathan Salkoff from Reno Dads Blog to discuss when, where and how we can do a better job teaching kids about sexuality. Follow me on Social: Facebook: @StevenIngMFT Twitter: @StevenIngMFT Soundcloud: Just Asking with Steven Ing -https://soundcloud.com/stevening/da...

What’s the future of Roe v. Wade?

August 10, 2018 06:33 - 20 minutes - 28.7 MB

President Trump is appointing another judge to the Supreme Court. What will this mean for our reproductive rights? In this podcast, Steven and Jackie discuss the advantages of planning our parenthood and what could happen to our ability to control when we have children. Follow me on Social: Facebook: @StevenIngMFT Twitter: @StevenIngMFT Soundcloud: Just Asking with Steven Ing -https://soundcloud.com/stevening/dati... Links: Website: http://stevening.com/ Books: http://stevening.com/store Sp...

How can I be a better parent to my LGBTQIA+ child?

July 27, 2018 15:25 - 27 minutes - 37.5 MB

Parenting is already a huge challenge, but how do you parent children whose life experience is so different from your own? In this podcast, we bring in members of the LGBTQIA+ community to share their thoughts on how moms and dads can be better parents to their LGBTQIA+ kids. Follow me on Social: Facebook: @StevenIngMFT Twitter: @StevenIngMFT Soundcloud: Just Asking with Steven Ing -https://soundcloud.com/stevening/dati... Links: Website: http://stevening.com/ Books: http://stevening.com/st...

What has social media done to my relationships?

July 14, 2018 01:44 - 20 minutes - 28.3 MB

Social media has changed how we communicate and interact with one another, but is that always a good thing? This week, we talk about how social media might seem convenient and easy, but it may not be the best way to create or maintain any relationship. Follow me on Social: Facebook: @StevenIngMFT Twitter: @StevenIngMFT Soundcloud: Just Asking with Steven Ing -https://soundcloud.com/stevening/dati... Links: Website: http://stevening.com/ Books: http://stevening.com/store Speaking engagements...

Does God want us to have sex?

July 06, 2018 23:51 - 41 minutes - 57.6 MB

Religion has a lot to say about sex, but the big question is whether or not God wants us to have fun in the bedroom. This week Steven and Jackie talk about religion, many of its rules about sexuality, whether those rules are reasonable, and how our own sex lives are intertwined with our beliefs. Follow me on Social: Facebook: @StevenIngMFT Twitter: @StevenIngMFT Soundcloud: Just Asking with Steven Ing -https://soundcloud.com/stevening/dati... Links: Website: http://stevening.com/ Books: htt...

“How is creativity like sex?”

June 30, 2018 00:17 - 14 minutes - 20.3 MB

We all want to be comfortable with ourselves and our sexuality, but how do we do that? This week Steven Ing talks with Courtney Smith Kramer, author of “21 Reasons Creativity is Like Sex,” about how she became comfortable with talking about sexuality, why she wrote a book about it and the creative industry’s intersection with sexuality. Follow Steven on Social: Facebook: @StevenIngMFT Twitter: @StevenIngMFT Soundcloud: Just Asking with Steven Ing -https://soundcloud.com/stevening Follow Cou...

How does mutual consent apply to other aspects of my relationship?

June 22, 2018 22:29 - 22 minutes - 31.4 MB

Conflict is an inevitable and necessary part of any intimate relationship, but it should never be about destroying one another. Consent is obviously mandatory during sex, but how can it lead to more productive arguments?

Yes, we found the serious in Deadpool 2

June 16, 2018 01:26 - 23 minutes - 32.9 MB

Early childhood trauma can lead us to do some crazy stuff later in life, whether that’s drugs, drinking to excess or blowing up a school with the fire coming out of our fists. How can we help people move on with their lives in a healthy and productive way?

Why are Boy Scouts dropping the word “boy”?

June 01, 2018 23:38 - 19 minutes - 27.3 MB

In this week’s “AskING for a Friend,” we bring the friend into the studio. Kurt Thigpen discusses his experience as a gay youngster in the Boy Scouts and what the Scouts could do to truly celebrate diversity.

I’m in a relationship, but I still feel so alone.

June 01, 2018 20:10 - 18 minutes - 24.8 MB

Do you feel like you’re superior, or inferior, to your mate? In today’s podcast we talk about how equality can affect our relationships. Give it a listen and let us know your thoughts.

How do I get my mojo back?

May 25, 2018 20:58 - 11 minutes - 16.4 MB

Are you ready to proactively take control of your romantic life? In this podcast we talk about Steven Ing’s “30 Days to Reclaim Your Mojo” and how it can help you think more rationally about love and sex.

Is it possible to affair-proof a marriage?

May 25, 2018 20:29 - 22 minutes - 31.5 MB

When affairs happen in 50% of marriages, what can you do to protect yours? The key is intimacy, but probably not the way you’re thinking of it.

Is a fairytale wedding really every little girl’s dream?

May 17, 2018 18:17 - 18 minutes - 26 MB

We love weddings (especially the royal kind!) as much as the next person, but it can be a problem when the wedding becomes more important than the relationship or, eventually, the marriage.

Why am I hearing so much about abstinence-only sex education?

May 16, 2018 19:45 - 20 minutes - 28.4 MB

Congress recently approved spending $100 million on abstinence-only sex education in 2018. This is on top of $2 billion already spent, even though research proves it not only doesn’t work, but it can be downright dangerous.

Did Amy Schumer really make an important movie about body image?

May 16, 2018 19:21 - 19 minutes - 26.1 MB

In this podcast, we discuss Amy Schumer’s new movie, “I Feel Pretty.” What does it mean to be pretty? Is it about how you look? Or how you act?

Great Sexpectations: The pros and cons of the new monogamy

May 11, 2018 19:12 - 22 minutes - 30.4 MB

The age-old concept of “friends with benefits” is now sometimes called “the new monogamy,” but the idea is the same: Find someone you like, but not “in that way,” and agree to a casual sexual relationship. Sounds simple, but it can be fraught with potential problems, most likely that the two people involved are not on the same page. In this week’s podcast, we discuss the pros and cons of casual sex and how to avoid hurting one another in our quest for no-strings relationships.

What are Incels? And why are they so mad?

May 04, 2018 21:40 - 18 minutes - 25.9 MB

In this podcast, we discuss the recent terrorist attack in Toronto, what motivates #Incels (involuntary celibates) and what we can do to help prevent more men from turning to this dangerous and self-defeating worldview. Magic Sex Number: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EUOtDSknAOY Talked about in this podcast: Men and Their Friends: http://stevening.com/blog/men-and-their-friends-why-bros-matter Sex Ed and Talking To Kids About Sex: http://stevening.com/blog/when-it-comes-sex-ed-ignoranc...

First Comes Love, When Comes Marriage?

April 27, 2018 22:06 - 32 minutes - 44.8 MB

The median age for marriage is now 30, compared to 23 in the 1970s. Increased gender equality, advances in technology and different goals are part of the reason younger generations are putting off “settling down,” but what is the rest of the equation? Join our conversation, where we discuss what we can we learn from some new philosophies about commitment — and what elements of love and relationships are consistent through the ages. Magic Sex Number: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EUOtDSk...

WoW! Real Humanity In A Virtual World

April 20, 2018 22:06 - 26 minutes - 35.7 MB

Why are we talking about World of Warcraft on a show about sexuality? If you’ve ever spent time in an MMORPG (massively multiplayer online role-playing game), chances are good you’ve experienced some ugly sexism, homophobia and racism. Dylan Szewczak figured out a way to create an abuse-free oasis in World of Warcraft, and Steven interviews him to find out his secret. Spoiler alert: It’s something we can all do every day to create abuse-free environments in the real world. Magic Sex Number...

Men and Their Friends: Why Bros Matter

April 13, 2018 18:36 - 27 minutes - 37.2 MB

Men need male friends. This seems obvious, yet it’s alarming how many men forgo this important need. But the fabulous men on the newly rebooted Queer Eye have reminded us just how important it is for all of us to have true friends – the kind who will call us out, share sincere and honest feedback and help make us better people. Oh yeah, and teach us some of the intimacy skills we need for our romantic relationships. But first, a brief detour to discuss Dear Abby’s opinion of virginity. Ma...

Sex Addiction and Gay Conversion: The Ugly Truth

April 06, 2018 22:51 - 21 minutes - 30.1 MB

What do sex addiction and gay conversion therapy have in common? Neither one of them is an accepted term used by mental health professionals. While “sex addiction” is sometimes used as an excuse for unacceptable behavior (think Harvey Weinstein), conversion therapy is downright dangerous and should never be used. Topics Talked About in this Podcast: Sex Addiction: http://stevening.com/blog/thank-you-harvey-weinstein-and-james-toback http://stevening.com/blog/are-you-sex-addict Conversion T...

Consent, Sexual Misconduct, #MeToo & #TimesUp

March 26, 2018 16:29 - 36 minutes - 49.5 MB

The #MeToo and #TimesUp movements have shined a critical light on the problem of sexual abuse in the workplace. Why has it taken so long? Will we finally be able to effect critical change and make work environments safer for women and men alike? In this podcast, Steven suggests that the key to solving this universal problem is simple: We need to use our words to ask for and give consent, rather than to rely on the implicit Braille method. Topics Talked About in this Podcast: Sexual Harassme...

What is Normal?, Teens & Porn, Pheramor App

March 16, 2018 20:25 - 32 minutes - 44.9 MB

Most of us have sex (or would like to), but it’s not something we talk about all that often. So how do we know what’s “normal”? That answer — just like the topic itself — is mostly personal. There have been a few articles published lately lamenting our teens’ viewing of online porn. The reality? They’re watching it, but what do we do about it? And is there anything potentially good about watching porn? The answer might surprise you. Have you heard of the Pheramor app? Break down the word,...

The Intentional Interview, Victim Shaming, Shape of Water

March 09, 2018 20:55 - 29 minutes - 39.8 MB

The intentional interview is a critical step on the path to a fulfilling, healthy relationship. We talk about how it works and what part the magic sex number plays in it. And it looks like there’s some victim shaming going on with a local city attorney. What’s that about? And what is it designed to accomplish? Nothing good, we’re thinking. We love that Shape of Water, a movie all about sexuality and relationships, won Best Picture at this year’s Academy Awards! Join us as we talk about how to...

Black Panther, Toxic Masculinity, Drunk Sex

March 02, 2018 23:00 - 42 minutes - 57.8 MB

This week, we talk with our guest Verita Black Prothro, about Black Panther, its evolved gender roles and how those affect the onscreen relationships. We also address the issue of toxic masculinity and how loneliness could be contributing to our nation’s shooting crisis. And then there’s drunk sex, and what we all need to understand about consent. Note: Listen to this podcast only after you have watched Black Panther, unless you love spoilers! Follow me on Social: Facebook: @StevenIngMFT...

What does it mean to be transgender?

August 01, 2017 16:27 - 17 minutes - 15.7 MB

With all the attention on the issue of transgender rights, it's important to know what the term "transgender" really means. As Steven Ing says: "Let's make friends with the truth." What a concept.

Kids have sexual needs — and that's less shocking than it sounds

July 14, 2017 22:49 - 20 minutes - 18.8 MB

Fact: your children are sexual beings (scary thought, I know). We're totally comfortable guiding them in pursuits as they pertain to school, work, athletics, friendships, hobbies and any other aspect of their lives but the minute it relates to sexuality, we freeze up. Unfortunately, we can't just ignore that piece of them. We have a role in nurturing their ability to have healthy sexual relationships.

When the Abuse Needs to Stop (Part Three)

June 14, 2017 16:14 - 35 minutes - 32.1 MB

You're ready for an abuse-free life and you know how to do it yourself, but what if your partner has some abusive tendencies? Note: If your partner is physically abusive it's time you got in touch with a women's center and start planning your escape without delay.

Meeting real people in real life? What a concept.

June 09, 2017 00:07 - 18 minutes - 16.9 MB

If you've been catfished one too many times, maybe it's because you're trying to date online. Subscribe to my podcast to stay part of the conversation.

Now You're Ready for a Life Without Abuse (Part Two)

June 01, 2017 21:03 - 23 minutes - 21.1 MB

Abuse-free life? Sold. Now, how do I manage my life in an abuse-free way?

The Abuse - Free Life (Part One)

June 01, 2017 21:03 - 26 minutes - 24.5 MB

What is the abuse-free life?

What should you expect from a relationship? First, look inside yourself

May 23, 2017 18:33 - 36 minutes - 33.5 MB

Here's part two of the conversation on deal breakers. We cover how to come up with that 'list' for yourself.

Deal-breakers in a relationship: Turns out, there are some non-negotiables

May 23, 2017 17:55 - 33 minutes - 30.4 MB

Beware of the so-called 'List' of must-haves when dating. It's ok to have non-negotiables, but they should be about your needs and not about the things you think you want. Want to know why? Listen and find out.

Dealing With Sexual Harassment

May 18, 2017 19:06 - 54 minutes - 49.6 MB

If you're facing sexual harassment in the workplace or even in school, learn from Steven Ing on how to deal with it. Some of the choices will be difficult, but these tools will give you the confidence to make that necessary leap from just surviving to thriving.

Sexual Harassment In The Workplace

May 18, 2017 18:54 - 46 minutes - 42.9 MB

Sexual harassment in the workplace is a huge problem and to begin to tackle this issue we first need to understand it. This is the first part of our two-part series on this topic where we will try to unpack and understand it first. If it makes you sad, know it makes us sad too. Check out the next podcast on dealing with sexual harassment to feel better and give yourself the tools to solve it.

What Handmaid's Tale Can Tell Us About Sexuality

April 21, 2017 23:37 - 21 minutes - 19.9 MB

Steven Ing discusses themes and elements from the book and shows us how we can better understand human sexuality through the upcoming show.

The Difference Between Sex and Sexuality

April 13, 2017 00:04 - 22 minutes - 20.9 MB

What exactly do we talk about on Just Asking? That's a great question. I'll tell ya.

How To Balance Being A Parent With Romance

March 28, 2017 23:57 - 17 minutes - 16.2 MB

'Threading the needle,' so to speak, can seem daunting when you're balancing raising your children with sowing the seeds for a fulfilling romantic and sexual life. If you proactively set some ground rules it can make this far less daunting, and even far more empowering for your children.

I Can Tell If Your Marriage Is Over

March 28, 2017 22:40 - 34 minutes - 31.8 MB

Sometimes, I can tell very quickly when a relationship is not going to last. If there is contempt or resentment it becomes quite impossible to overcome, not because we aren't capable, but because it would require sacrificing a part of ourselves we don't want to change. What we need is a partner who loves us for who we are while we love them for who they are. Contempt and resentment does not come from love.

Know Thyself - Let Your Passions Be Your Guide

March 28, 2017 21:40 - 21 minutes - 19.5 MB

If you're looking for love here's a tip: stop. Stop looking for love and start looking for life. Life is meant to be shared, if you aren't happy with your life it's irresponsible to try to share it with someone you want to care about. "If you can't live without her then you can't be with her." - Steven Ing

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