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Casey is Solo talking about how we influence the iceberg
Joyful Courage for Parenting Teens
English - March 05, 2019 08:10 - 28 minutes - 38.5 MB - ★★★★★ - 189 ratingsEducation Kids & Family education etertainment inspiration interviews parenting Homepage Download Apple Podcasts Google Podcasts Overcast Castro Pocket Casts RSS feed
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How we influence the iceberg
Clients come to me to talk about kids behavior
Battles over homework Power struggles Screen time addiction Getting out the door We are mega focused on fixing those problemsThe iceberg- behavior we see is a solution to a problem that we may or may not know about
Example that we played with a few weeks ago in parenting class:
Child won’t get ready to go in the morning and family is late getting out the door
Two options for response: What do I have to do to this kid to get her to cooperate? Bribes, threats, punishments What is happening for this child that is getting in the way?Go to the source
Tell me about the mornings…. I notice that…. How are you feeling….. With new information you can make a plan together to support the child (and you)n in doing betterTransparency
Rowan talking about the future Agitated, closed off, defensive Often my response is irritated that she cant “have” the convo We both are discouraged and the convo is over Maybe I am engaging the wrong conversation Helpful to know what shows up for her when the invitation is to talk about future What is the experience? IS it only with me or others? Might there be a benefit to talking with someone else if not me? What would be useful about having a vision of the future? Deeper even still I notice when this is the conversation you….. I am curious about that? How does it feel when…..?Sometimes our kids refuse to go there….
How do we let go? What do they need? Recognizing/acknowledging our tendency to hold on/get rigid/ let fear or our agenda drive us…. Mutual respect – respect for child and for self and the situation Honor who they are and their temperament I am ALL IN, lets go deep and swirl around and grow and learn and be super transparent and get it all out – don’t hold back. I process out loud and in the moment…. This is not the way of everyone, def not my daughter.Summing it up:
Recognize how we are contributing to challenges Own it, and get curious about your child’s experience. Identify the ACTUAL problem Be an open, nonjudgmental listener Look for solutions (related respectful reasonable helpful) Be respectful Honor who you child is in word and actionBefore I go….
I have a really exciting update on my BOOK!!
Joyful Courage: Calming the drama and taking control of your parenting journey
This is all about how to show up as a Joyful Courage parent so that you have better access tot eh tools you need in hot parenting moments – tools that are helpful and maintain connection with your child.
Presale is April 10th – as many of you as possible buying presale would be FABULOUS. I am going to have some special bonuses TBD for my presale buyers.
Official launch date is May 20th – OMG – so so exciting!!!
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Thank you to everyone that has been so encouraging on this journey!!! I appreciate you and we are ALMOST THERE!!!!
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The Parenting Teens With Positive Discipline Audio Summit is a deep dive into the messiness of parenting through the teen years and beyond. Each of the featured guests speaks candidly from both their wisdom as parent educators, as well as their real life experience of raising their own teens.
Check it out – www.joyfulcourage.com/teensummit
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