Journos

Let’s Talk About Why That Adorable Jim from ”The Office” Is Spying on Us

February 17, 2022 22:28 - 23 minutes - 21.2 MB

In this episode, we start by reflecting on the mystery that is "Gazpacho Police." It's either a flub by Marjorie Taylor Greene, or the stunning reveal that the US Capitol Police's jurisdiction includes soups. Mistake or political ploy, it gave the news media something to freak out about, and the Right something new to fundraise around, probably. But we're not here to talk about cold starter dishes. The MTG outburst reminded Brandon and Stephen that the government may indeed be spying on us,...

A No-Fly List for Jerks, Sex Jets, and Other Mysteries of Modern Air Travel

February 11, 2022 17:29 - 21 minutes - 20.1 MB

We've talked about Cucumber Time before: that "silly season" in summer and late in the year when the media decides not much is happening (all evidence to the contrary) and crams its news hole with frivolity. A species of Cucumber Time is on us again: this one we call Horny Time, when outlets scramble to find stories about love and lust to fluff us up for Valentine's Day. NYT served us up a moist one about a Las Vegas airplane charter biz that rolls out the satin pillows for customers to joi...

Will the Next Civil War Be Livestreamed? w/Ronald Weaver II

February 08, 2022 03:43 - 47 minutes - 43.6 MB

On today’s episode, we chat with aspiring documentary filmmaker Ronald Weaver II. Ron’s had an interesting couple of years: He’s attended over 200 Black Lives Matter and, later, Trump-related events (yes, including the one on January 6). During this time he’s meticulously captured this batshit-crazy moment in American history, live-streaming some…pretty tense moments to his thousands of followers on Instagram. We picked his brain, fittingly, just a few days after he returned from filming t...

Spoiler Alerts! Wordle, Chinese Censorship, and the Zen of Knowing the End in Advance

January 31, 2022 18:06 - 40 minutes - 37.1 MB

We talked about memes as "mind viruses" a few episodes ago, but boy, "Let's Go Brandon" got nothing on Wordle. The daily word game has become America's newest pandemic, so it was only a matter of time before someone figured out a way to spoil everything on Twitter. So, we got to thinking about "spoilers." That led us to ideas about "controlling the narrative," which has taken some interesting forms lately: China changing the ending of "Fight Club" and other movies to make sure the state al...

Why Are Politicians Still Embarrassed About Weed? w/Chris Roberts

January 26, 2022 19:53 - 31 minutes - 28.9 MB

This week, we're joined by fellow Journo Chris Roberts to talk about why it took so long for an American politician to finally smoke a blunt in a campaign ad. That man is Louisiana's Gary Chambers, Jr., and he's running for a U.S. Senate seat, and the story went all over the place, because of course it did. Chris wrote about it, too, so we had him on to talk about using stunts to draw attention to bigger issues and why so many politicians claim to support cannabis but never smoke it publicl...

”Let’s Go Brandon” Is Gonna Be America’s Hottest New Money-Making Mind-Virus

January 24, 2022 05:56 - 17 minutes - 16.3 MB

We at JOURNOS believe that art, freed from the author, belongs to the recipient. So art can mean something particular to you, or me, separate from any authorial intention. With that in mind, Brandon reads the "Let's Go Brandon" meme not as a political slight against President Joe Biden, but rather as a constant and enduring message of positivity and reinforcement to Brandon himself. It's uttered by NASCAR fans, Southwest airlines pilots, politicians, and an assortment of hoodies and camoufl...

The Great Los Angeles Train Kerfuffle

January 21, 2022 08:02 - 27 minutes - 25 MB

When the media gets a good story about a TRAIN ROBBERY, why, it's a special kind of glee. Headlines may read things like “Thieves loot freight trains in Los Angeles with impunity” but beneath the newsy professionalism is a childlike desire to write what reporters really feel about trains, crime, & policing: "Choo-Choo's Boo-Boos Are No-Nos for the Po-Po" In other words, some simple-ass storytelling, y'all. Never fear, because our two intrepid news hoboes, Brandon & Stephen, dodge the bull...

”The World’s Deadliest Podcast”

January 15, 2022 19:24 - 13 minutes - 18.6 MB

In this solo outing, Brandon bravely confronts America's fear and hatred of ... the cassowary, "the world's deadliest bird." There's a great study out from Penn State on how humans 18,000 years ago harvested cassowary eggs. It shines a light on how ancient, indigenous humans shaped their environment. News media went nuts over the bird's resemblance to velociraptors, which is a problem not just with media, but with our own dumb brains. Brandon (again, very bravely) looks into how our evolu...

Piñatas and Two-Steppin’: Companies Dodge Responsibility, Festively

January 13, 2022 20:07 - 21 minutes - 19.6 MB

When you do something wrong, what's your move? To accept responsibility, or to create a dirty little simulacrum who takes the blame while you cavort? If you're an American company, you might go with the Mini-Me approach. Today, we're telling two tales of bankruptcy. In the first, Cyber Ninjas is shutting down. They couldn't assassinate the will of the voters in Arizona, so they are attempting to vanish into the night, having at least pushed The Big Lie of voter fraud a little further towar...

12 Days of JOURNOS, Day 12: Should Society Invest in Brains or Farts?

January 06, 2022 06:14 - 15 minutes - 14.4 MB

On the Twelfth and Final Day of the 12 Days of JOURNOS, Brandon and Stephen reluctantly cover the story about the reality TV star who sells her own farts. Sigh. Not surprisingly, said farts are also available as NFTs. Double sigh. All this gets them thinking about the need to invest in the collective brainpower of humanity, which has apparently dropped to an all time low. It’s time to “buy the dip” and prevent any future “fartrepreneurs” from poisoning the well of civilization any further....

12 Days of JOURNOS, Day 11: Elizabeth Holmes vs. NFTs

January 05, 2022 04:55 - 15 minutes - 14.1 MB

On the Eleventh Day of JOURNOS, we got ourselves a Special Guest: Elizabeth Holmes, fresh from her conviction on four of 11 charges (the ones related to rich folks, not the ones related to regular folks). Brandon & Stephen walk through the rise and fall of Theranos, while newly minted Friend-of-Show Elizabeth looks on the bright side, including croquet with "Mad Dog" Mattis, joining a very exclusive crime club with Martha Stewart, and selling NFTs of herself making ... noises. All this NFT...

12 Days of JOURNOS, Day 10: Let’s Count to a Trillion

January 04, 2022 04:00 - 13 minutes - 12.1 MB

On the Tenth Day of JOURNOS, we’re talkin’ turkey about tech stocks, big bucks, and the jobs of tomorrow. You may have heard that Apple just received the first $3 trillion valuation in history. But you’ve certainly never seen anyone count to a trillion. Why? Would take too long, obv. Nevertheless, in an effort to demystify this astronomical price tag, Stephen walks us through a few somewhat more tangible examples to help us wrap our brains around the company’s mind-boggling market cap. Br...

12 Days of JOURNOS, Day Nine: Bugs, Blood & Other Future Menu Items

January 03, 2022 02:04 - 18 minutes - 17.1 MB

On the Ninth Day of JOURNOS, we remind ourselves that the year 2022 was first popularized in 1973 by the film Soylent Green. That vision of the future of cuisine gets Brandon & Stephen talking about other plans for how and what to feed people that isn't made of people. Turns out one option is ... soylent, the food-replacement drink with the recommended daily allowance of misplaced irony. But for reals, the near-future of food is wild: vertical farming, urban shrimp, upcycled coffee, plus a...

12 Days of JOURNOS, Day Eight: The Color Conspiracy of 2022

January 02, 2022 02:16 - 13 minutes - 12.6 MB

On the Eighth Day of JOURNOS, we unpack Brandon's first conspiracy: the secret marketing machinations that produce the Color of the Year. This year, a hitch: most of the colors were basically the same riff on greenish-gray. With this crack in the facade, Stephen & Brandon discuss the terrible power of the true palette-masters over at the Pantone Color Institute, which exercises considerable sway over the design and marketing choices of all sorts of brands. Pantone's Color of the Year? A sic...

12 Days of JOURNOS, Day Seven: Nature, ah, Finds a Way

January 01, 2022 04:31 - 18 minutes - 16.5 MB

On the Seventh Day of JOURNOS, fish rain down from the heavens into Texarkana, Texas. A Biblical tale rendered unto the news by a blessed waterspout, and a fitting end to a year of nature's oddities. As the fishy heavens open up, we open an umbrella and do some updates to our episode on space, sea, and desert. Even though I reported on the issues with solar-energy development in the Mojave Desert, the Biden administration still opened up more desert land to those panel-lovin' freaks. The n...

12 Days of JOURNOS, Day Six: Real-Life Ninjas and Our National Security

December 31, 2021 03:09 - 11 minutes - 20.6 MB

On the Sixth Day of JOURNOS, we first look back on a ninja attack on American soil. Well, not really — but a guy in Kern County did dress up as one in September to ambush a special forces unit under a cloak of darkness. But speaking of vulnerabilities, how about that Colonial pipeline shitshow back in May? Among other things, it brought to light the burgeoning industry of Ransomware as a Service (RaaS), where organized crime starts to look a lot more like Salesforce than the Gambino Family. ...

12 Days of JOURNOS, Day Five: The Mental-Health Olympics

December 30, 2021 03:55 - 11 minutes - 15.5 MB

On the Fifth Day of JOURNOS, we sprint, dive, and slalom into the 2020 Summer Olympic Games, held in summer of 2021. We glory at the spectacle of so many controversies, from bribery and shameful resignations to a stadium sourced from endangered rainforests and the traditional procession of vomiting Australians that ends every Olympiad. We linger voyeuristically at that other tradition: how Olympians are going to screw each other. This time around, it was complicated by cardboard no-sex beds...

12 Days of Journos, Day Four: Is Clickbait Bad?

December 29, 2021 03:31 - 11 minutes - 21 MB

On the Fourth Day of Journos we check in on a Denver Area bear that, back in July, got a bucket stuck on its head. The incident made national news, and it wasn’t the only such story involving a rascally Ursus and a bucket that the media picked up in 2021. Needless to say, the bear/bucket saga was far from the most pressing issue that day. That’s right, we’re taking a look at clickbait and why we can’t stop falling for it. Stephen looks into the psychology of it all, while Brandon pulls a f...

12 Days of JOURNOS, Day Four: Is Clickbait Bad?

December 29, 2021 03:31 - 11 minutes - 21 MB

On the Fourth Day of Journos we check in on a Denver Area bear that, back in July, got a bucket stuck on its head. The incident made national news, and it wasn’t the only such story involving a rascally Ursus and a bucket that the media picked up in 2021. Needless to say, the bear/bucket saga was far from the most pressing issue that day. That’s right, we’re taking a look at clickbait and why we can’t stop falling for it. Stephen looks into the psychology of it all, while Brandon pulls a f...

12 Days of JOURNOS, Day 3: Get on the Influencer Bus

December 28, 2021 02:46 - 12 minutes - 16.6 MB

On the Third Day of JOURNOS, Brandon tells the story of three women who met over the social medium of a cheating boyfriend, bought an old school bus, and went on a road trip across the US, scattering feel-good news stories across this great nation and then creating their own content like a bunch of Johnny Appleseeds of the Influencer Economy. Beating back our cynicism, we ask whether this is an earnest voyage of discovery, or just a good opportunity to generate some Intellectual Property, a...

12 Days of JOURNOS, Day Three: Get on the Influencer Bus

December 28, 2021 02:46 - 12 minutes - 16.6 MB

On the Third Day of JOURNOS, Brandon tells the story of three women who met over the social medium of a cheating boyfriend, bought an old school bus, and went on a road trip across the US, scattering feel-good news stories across this great nation and then creating their own content like a bunch of Johnny Appleseeds of the Influencer Economy. Beating back our cynicism, we ask whether this is an earnest voyage of discovery, or just a good opportunity to generate some Intellectual Property, a...

12 Days of JOURNOS, Day Two: The Great Rooster Virility Crisis

December 27, 2021 02:15 - 14 minutes - 26.6 MB

On the Second Day of JOURNOS, Stephen sinks his teeth into a juicy story: What happened to the chicken tenders? Is there really a shortage, or is it just a case of price fluctuations leading to crispy, clickable headlines? Stephen watches with cool amusement as a poorly sourced TODAY story inspires a sampling of imitators, and the occasional sales pitch. It's a game of Southern-fried telephone that leaves out essential ingredients like drought and climate change. Meanwhile, Brandon recall...

12 Days of JOURNOS, Day One: Oh a Sarcasm Detector I’m So Sure

December 25, 2021 16:12 - 11 minutes - 15.2 MB

We kick off "The 12 Days of JOURNOS," a collection of weird stories we loved but didn't get to, and follow-ups to those stories we did. It's short tales told through a phone call or two. On the First Day of JOURNOS, Brandon interrupts Stephen's "Irish Goodnight" with the story of a sarcasm detector funded by the US government's DARPA. The goal? To scientifically determine if that dude on Twitter *really* thinks we're "so f*ckin funny" or if it's all a put-on. We discuss the puzzles and pit...

”Don’t Look Up” Reviewed + Asteroid Mining and a Great End-of-the-World Chicken Recipe

December 24, 2021 22:12 - 1 hour - 67.3 MB

Brandon and Stephen dig into Adam McKay's new climate-change-apocalypse parable Don't Look Up and spin out on the state of journalism, satire, and whether American comedy can handle existential threats (or even the quietly sad). Brandon goes in search of answers about how big a business asteroid mining might really be, and Stephen shares a favorite chicken recipe for when it all falls apart. Find a spot at the table, grab the wine, and remember that the future is somewhere else. Notes ...

It‘s the JOURNOS Holiday Spectacular, Charlie Brown! Stories of Oil Scandal, Helium Shortage, and American Consumer Theater

December 18, 2021 21:51 - 53 minutes - 49.1 MB

A few weeks ago, we performed an experiment: a live report on the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, with deep dives into which beloved balloon has ties to Mussolini's fascists, why Snoopy is a hero of existentialism, and what we'll do when we run out of helium. In this episode, we revisit the parade and how it embodies the best and worst of the holidays. We at JOURNOS wish you a Happy Red Snapper Season and hope a giant runaway balloon lands at your doorstep this year. (It's worth a hundred b...

Audio Short: Let the Music Save You! AI Will Build You the Secret Playlist of Your Soul

December 15, 2021 21:59 - 12 minutes - 22.2 MB

Brandon tells a story about how companies like Spotify are using artificial intelligence to learn all kinds of things about us from the music we listen to — and how one company is using AI to (maybe) turn our own playlists into a kind of stress-reducing medicine. But this is also a story about how tech journalists tell tech stories, particularly the one about how "AI knows you better than you know yourself." It's a little bit sci-fi, a little bit wishful thinking, and a little bit of a gues...

What Could Go Wrong? The Big Business of Exploiting Space, Sea, and Tortoises

December 06, 2021 19:20 - 54 minutes - 99.5 MB

From deadly space sprinkles to undersea Faberge eggs to the risks posed by flying tortoise shells, we're talking about unintended consequences in distant places. The recent lunar eclipse has us looking to the sky, where we see ... a ton of debris. A Russian anti-satellite test gifted Earth's orbit with a lot of shrapnel. Astronauts on the International Space Station had to hide out in "lifeboats" probably trying not to imagine that scene from Gravity. The whole affair got us thinking abou...

Audio Short: What Fixing Your iPhone Means for !!FREEDOM!!

November 27, 2021 00:28 - 10 minutes - 18.3 MB

Apple just announced a huge change: The company is finally going to stop big-timing us and let us fix our own i-Things. This is a significant piece of business for the Right-to-Repair movement, which we talked about in our Nov. 12 episode, "An Inside Look at the Yogurt Cup Mafia and The McFlurry Racket." In this Audio Short, Brandon gives us an update on what Apple's move means for the Right to Repair and what it means for Big Concepts like "ownership," "freedom," and God's own feelings on ...

A Trip to Toronto — the Nexus of Identity, Baseball, and Sexual Exhibitionism

November 23, 2021 20:09 - 43 minutes - 40.1 MB

Brandon reports in from a hotel in Toronto that hides an amazing mystery, which gets our heroes thinking about the nature of pilgrimage, memory, and why people apparently can't stop themselves from boning whenever a TV camera is around. Plus, Stephen tells the story of searching for his father's childhood home in Honolulu and a wild story of the attack on Pearl Harbor. So open your curtains wide and go on a journey with us. Notes - All about the Rogers Centre, aka the SkyDome - P...

Future Cities and the Inevitable Doomsday Yacht (with a Good Wine Selection)

November 19, 2021 21:00 - 55 minutes - 50.9 MB

We dive into some utopian city concepts. Brandon walks us through Saudi Arabia's NEOM, Marc Lore's Telosa, and a big ole boat for billionaires to escape pandemics and poverty, plus some failed utopian projects of yore. Meanwhile, Stephen obsesses over slime molds, finds out his dream home is actually an 18th-century prison, and frets over the duo's job prospects after the apocalypse.

An Inside Look at the Yogurt Cup Mafia and the McFlurry Racket

November 12, 2021 20:04 - 46 minutes - 85.3 MB

Today, we're talking about stuff — the stuff we don't want that we can't get rid of, and the stuff we do want that we can't quite keep. Two big stories clutter our minds: one is about a new report on how organized crime controls the lucrative, and corrupt, recycling market; the other is about the "Right to Repair" movement, a struggle to give consumers the ability to fix our own damn smartphones, dishwashers, and million-dollar agricultural equipment. What we learn is that there are powerf...

Audio Shorts: Havana Syndrome, TikTok Tics, and When Mass Hysteria Goes to War

November 09, 2021 19:52 - 10 minutes - 14.1 MB

Brandon reads his latest for WhoWhatWhy: Throughout history, social stresses manifested as strange afflictions, from dancing plagues to fainting spells. But now we may be seeing one that goes from tremors to saber-rattling. Music by Nathan Readey!

Audio Short: Havana Syndrome, TikTok Tics, and When Mass Hysteria Goes to War

November 09, 2021 19:52 - 10 minutes - 14.1 MB

Brandon reads his latest for WhoWhatWhy: Throughout history, social stresses manifested as strange afflictions, from dancing plagues to fainting spells. But now we may be seeing one that goes from tremors to saber-rattling. Music by Nathan Readey!

Unfriending the Metaverse

November 03, 2021 01:30 - 45 minutes - 83.4 MB

In this episode, we take a look at Facebook's algorithmic missteps and giant, exploratory leaps into the metaverse. But will Zuck's new plane of digital existence be an open-source nightmare or a high-def utopia? Probably neither. But maybe a bit of both. Let's take a look.

Psychological Capitalism

September 16, 2021 02:46 - 54 minutes - 99.5 MB

WFH woes? Why, you might just be lacking in psychological capital. Also, the rapacious and ostentatious lives of hummingbirds. Oh, And! We changed the name to JOURNOS. Lot's to unpack. Now hurry up! You're late to your home office.

Making Adult (Content) Decisions: Fact-Check

September 08, 2021 00:36 - 48 minutes - 44.2 MB

Brandon & Stephen talk to York University psychologist Suzanne MacDonald about animal intelligence ... and whether urban raccoons will evolve to run Silicon Valley. They also dig into whether the Nirvana Baby's child porn case has a chance in hell and ask Brandon's mom whatever happened to his 70 Hawaiian shirts. It is an episode for collectors, obsessives, raccoons, and people whose parents throw stuff away. What's trash is treasure again. Notes: - All about Dr. Suzanne MacDonald and...

BONUS Shortie: ”What Is Cud?”

September 07, 2021 21:48 - 2 minutes - 2.7 MB

Ruminating on grasses and running out of gas.

Making Adult (Content) Decisions

September 07, 2021 21:46 - 48 minutes - 44 MB

Two stories about two court cases about pornography~~ One man sues his parents for throwing out his porn collection, and another man sues the band Nirvana for (allegedly) turning him into collectible porn ... or, possibly, for not participating in his art show. In this episode, Brandon & Stephen are talking about VALUES, with some light conversation on raccoon traps and keeping time capsules in your garage.

Endless Bummer: Fact-Check

August 27, 2021 22:28 - 54 minutes - 49.8 MB

Last week's episode was a bummer because Climate. But it also raised some questions about how we know what we know. Brandon & Stephen's worries about speaking out of their asses in the previous episode leads them on a journey for truth. They go searching for answers to such questions as: did Stephen really flap like a pennant during an earthquake? and how much did he weigh (in metric)? and what was the name of the bar where Brandon rode out the apocalypse? Along the way, they'll discover ot...

Endless Bummer

August 18, 2021 16:27 - 1 hour - 139 MB

Earthquakes, hurricanes, hunkered-down drinking, and a few musings on Rudy Giuliani's recent foray into the world of bespoke celebrity performance. Oh, and he might also be a bat. Oh, and Earth is dying and it's our fault. Plus: Advertising!

Deep into Cucumber Time

August 05, 2021 19:27 - 1 hour - 83.7 MB

Our dog days of summer episode explores the phenomenon of "Silly Season," that hot time of year when news suspiciously and conveniently runs dry as everyone heads to the nearest inflatable floating chair with a drink thingie. That doesn't slow us down from considering the deeper implications of light news, like the death of "ice" beer and the rise of Surveillance State Barbie. Also, Stephen feels vulnerable, Brandon shares tales of booze-slinging, and a neighbor's hot jams intrude on the rec...

Palimpsest

August 05, 2021 02:03 - 1 hour - 84.3 MB

A fanfare of sullen middle-schoolers announces this episode! In which Peru gets recognized, Liverpool is shamed, a farmer becomes president, and we discuss the beautiful ugliness of evolving monuments. Also, the best article of the year (so far), a story about a man who wants people to see the light in 2,000 years, depending on the expansion of the universe.

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