John Wayne Lied to You
291 episodes - English - Latest episode: about 1 month ago - ★★★★★ - 14 ratingsJohn Wayne Comunale is a bizarro fiction writer and band leader of johnwayneisdead. Join him as he recounts his insane but real life adventures
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Episodes
Episode 63 - I Just Want Some French Fries. Tell Them I Want French Fries!
September 10, 2018 14:59 - 50 minutes - 68.8 MBBack in action this week with another story from the rock-n-roll archives of my resin coated brain. When Kris and I meet up some other friends to see a show in Austin we end up getting a little carried away with the boozin' and poor decisions are made. I wish we would've gotten those french fries though.
Episode 62 - Starter? I Hardly Know Her and the Johnwayneisdead Tour Experience!
September 04, 2018 22:14 - 1 hour - 98.4 MBI just got off the road with johnwayneisdead and mere hours upon my arrival I'm bustin' to tell you all about it! Plus, we recorded new songs in Memphis!
Episode 61 - KillerCon? I Hardly Know Her . . . Con
August 28, 2018 01:20 - 1 hour - 89.1 MBI'm fresh back from my first KillerCon, and I can't wait to tell you all about it! Buckle in for another con-recap, and I loved the shit out of this one!
Episode 60 - Honesty is a Dish Best Smelled at Your Local Grocer.
August 20, 2018 09:53 - 55 minutes - 75.6 MBAs a young lad my first job was sacking your stinkin' groceries at Kroger. I was young, fresh, and far more considerate and trusting of people, so when I found an envelope with over nine hundred bucks in a shopping cart of course my first instinct is to turn it in. Never fear though, It all worked out when my honesty was rewarded with toilet water.
Episode 59 - I Hope You Brought Your Chops Son
August 13, 2018 21:19 - 43 minutes - 60.3 MBThe ancient art of karaoke is as appreciated as much as it is despised. I, however, am a lover and celebrator of the craft. This week I tell of a time I celebrated it hard in fabulous Las Vegas Nevada! Robby C joins me for this caper of glitz, glamor, and Neil Diamond.
Episode 58 - Scares That Care 2018 Recap
August 08, 2018 21:14 - 58 minutes - 80.7 MBI'm back from my second Scares That Care, and I'm bustin' to tell you all about it. It was a great time, a successful con, and super, bad-ass! I'm already excited for next year
Episode 57 - I Didn't Come Here to Hear Your Shit
July 30, 2018 09:24 - 52 minutes - 71.9 MBEver had someone in a bidding war over you? Me neither, except for that one time I did. This week I tell of how I cut my chops doing solo gigs, and all the crazy shit that came along with it. The important thing was the seed of never giving up was planted with help from a drunken stranger.
Episode 56 - All Hail the All Inclusive
July 23, 2018 11:15 - 49 minutes - 67.8 MBAll inclusive resorts are great! You can eat and drink all you want because you already paid for it, and you'll be goddamned if you don't consume your money's worth. This story is about the first time I went to an all inclusive resort, and all the great decisions I made while there. If you've never been I suggest using this as a cautionary tale.
Episode 55 - The Taming of the Shrew in my Pants
July 16, 2018 09:39 - 50 minutes - 69.7 MBShakespeare has never been my favorite, but I tried to convince myself I liked him back in high school when I was a 'serious actor'. Thanks to some lazy costumer I was forced to take the stage in only tights at a time in my life when I lacked the balls, metaphorically and physically, with which to do so. But, the show must go on!
Episode 54 - The Golden Pu$$y
July 09, 2018 11:39 - 47 minutes - 65.1 MBBachelor parties are great! Friends are great! But chanting, chanting is awesome. This episode is about chanting. Oh, and the story of Kris Jett and magical, floating, mystery bachelor party.
Episode 53 - Hey Baby! Can I Have Your Insurance Information?
July 02, 2018 09:26 - 46 minutes - 64.1 MBAs you know, distractions come in all forms. If you are able to successfully navigate those distractions you are more likely to succeed. Or, you can make an unprotected left turn while checking out a girl's ass without looking at all for oncoming traffic, which is a form of success on its own. Good Luck I say. Good LUCK!
Episode 52 - Happy Birthday! Now, Who Lives Here?
June 25, 2018 10:03 - 37 minutes - 51.3 MBHoly shit the show is one year old! To celebrate I keep it tried and true, and stick to what works with a story about another momentous birthday, my 21st. I think the take away here is cops hate paperwork.
Episode 51 - Hey Daddy-O, Have a Day!
June 18, 2018 09:30 - 40 minutes - 55.3 MBWhen someone falls down it's funny. It just is, and don't try to tell me otherwise. When it happens to be your father who falls down, well that's just downright hilarious! To celebrate all the fathers falling down to keep us amused I tell a tale this week of my own dear old dad, and his penchant for funny falls.
Episode 50 - Printers Row Recap, Wieners.
June 12, 2018 23:46 - 55 minutes - 76.4 MBI just got back from my first time at Printers Row in Chicago and what a time it was! In this episode I recap the experience of selling books in the rain along with all the salacious details from the weekend. Have you ever been to a Korean spa? I have now . . .
Episode 49 - Hey Man, Art is Not Your Bitch
June 04, 2018 15:30 - 37 minutes - 51.5 MBSo, this past weekend I had a pretty gnarly experience with some audience members at a solo acoustic show I played. Of course, you know your old Uncle Johnny couldn't wait to purge the thoughts on the experience into the microphone for you lovely people. I encourage performers to listen to this, and give feedback on how you would handle this kind of situation. Just for the record, I regret nothing!
Episode 48 - Pinecone Grenades and Why I Hate Axl Rose
May 28, 2018 15:53 - 41 minutes - 56.9 MBIt's been well documented that I am a lover, and most certainly not a fighter. I did, however, engage in one single momentous fight while in elementary school. This is the story of that fight, and a Guns and Roses poster.
Episode 47 - My Adventures at Days of the Dead Charlotte 2018
May 21, 2018 23:52 - 56 minutes - 77.7 MBI'm back fresh from thirty plus hours of driving to Charlotte and back so I could let people know the good news about . . . well, about myself! In this episode I recount the adventures along with the experiences, and the new things I learned from this con.
Episode 46 - Forest for the Pubes
May 14, 2018 09:48 - 43 minutes - 59.8 MBThis week I talk about how the best calendar ever set me on a wondrous journey through life, La Bamba, and boobs. Mind the hair pie, it's time for another first!
Episode 45 - Grandmothered to the Mob
May 07, 2018 11:18 - 48 minutes - 66.8 MBThis week I tell a tale of my dear, sweet grandmother and how she loved to pass the time by playing the number. What's 'playing the number' you ask? Well, you'll have to listen to find out. Just make sure you keep it in the family.
Episode 44 - This Bud's Tattoo!
April 30, 2018 21:55 - 40 minutes - 55.6 MBThis week I tell a tale of a mystical, red-bearded weirdo who had the first tattoo I'd ever seen. After this experience my life was put on a course that would lead to hours and hours under a needle jamming ink into my skin.
Episode 43 - Confessions of a Scaredy-Cat
April 23, 2018 23:49 - 50 minutes - 68.7 MBI love horror, but when I was a kid it scared the bejezzus out of me! I was afraid of anything the least bit related to monsters or evil, and now I can't get enough of the stuff. Love that evil! Anyway, I started thinking about the origins of this fear and try to figure it all out in this week's story. Hail Satan!
Episode 42 - You're Not a Sheriff!
April 16, 2018 09:40 - 40 minutes - 56.1 MBAnd you never will be with that attitude! We've all pissed our pants, but has someone else pissed your pants? Is it possible you just poured sewer water down your pants before going to bed? Have you ever jumped in the pool with your jeans on? Call out the Sheriff, because we've got some piss related mysteries that need to be solved!
Episode 41 - The Retainer (Sparkle, Sparkle)
April 09, 2018 13:58 - 47 minutes - 65.3 MBI was a theater kid who participated in those long and lovely, time suck events of most weekends called Speech Tournaments. At one such tournament I was accused of skirting the rules set in place for me regarding my recent ear piercing, which resulted in my expulsion from said tournament. One of the many times I actually didn't do what I was suspected of, and therefore lost my mind over it. Enjoy!
Episode 40 - The Day I Used Up All My White Privilege
April 02, 2018 12:02 - 49 minutes - 67.8 MBSo, I narrowly avoided complete disaster yet again, but this time the reason wasn't so easily explained away. Find out my theories on just why I didn't get arrested that fateful night, and learn what you should more than likely avoid doing in your car if your sticker is expired.
Episode 39 - Zipper Meat
March 26, 2018 09:35 - 45 minutes - 62.7 MBSince the dawn of time man has fought against a mortal enemy: The Zipper. Since we became civilized as a people we have overlooked our differences, and lived side by side with The Zipper (literally) save for a small group who went the way of the button fly, and an even smaller group who wear sweatpants exclusively. Despite this truce we've had with The Zippers they occasionally revert back to their old ways and attack reinvigorating the rivalry once again.
Episode 38 - What Do You Really Do?
March 20, 2018 01:00 - 47 minutes - 65.2 MBYou know when you get kidnapped by a limo that takes you to a bar at the beach while pouring beer down your throat, and then you take your shirt off, and after that the limo takes you a strip club where you become enamored with a stripper, and invent an entire back story for her in which she writes poetry and studies literature, and then you accidentally proposition her on the way out? Yeah, me neither . . .
Episode 37 - TAINT My Wagon
March 12, 2018 11:02 - 42 minutes - 57.9 MBIt's not a given that every time you step on stage the show will go off just as you rehearsed, and without a hitch. Of course, just because things aren't perfect is no reason to tuck your tail between your legs and hide. This week JW relates the particulars of a recent show compared to a show from years ago that both didn't go so great, and how he reacted then versus now after allowing time, experience, and self-growth to inform his perception. Bombing sucks, but don't let yourself go down wi...
Episode 36 - No One Thinks You're Funny
March 05, 2018 11:04 - 48 minutes - 67.7 MBThis week I recount my long weekend, and the festering sunburn I received for my troubles. Of course you all know I like to party, but sometimes it can get away from even me as evidenced in this story. Remember, just because something seems funny on paper, doesn't mean it still will be when you pour it down somebody's shirt.
Episode 35 - I Am Just A Man . . . And So Are You
February 26, 2018 12:40 - 52 minutes - 72.3 MBThey say don't meet your heroes, and I agree in most cases. This week I talk about realizing the importance of being present in the moment, and the impact these type of interactions can have on both sides. I also discuss how we're all just people trying our hardest to do our own thing and be happy, and if you have the tools or knowledge to offer help to someone who asks you should. Within reason, of course . . .
Episode 34 - Hey, We're Ripping You Off!
February 19, 2018 10:52 - 44 minutes - 60.6 MBThis week turns into a rant-a-sode in which the devaluing of art and the flippancy with which it occurs pushes all the right buttons to get your pal JW nice and fired up. Plus, a tale from the early days of Letters to Voltron in which a lesson on scamming is learned.
Episode 33 - Rest In Power BooTown
February 12, 2018 10:51 - 32 minutes - 44 MBNothing lasts forever in the cold November rain . . . and sadly BooTown has come to an end. Grown Up Story Time and Neo-Benshi will go on as separate entities, but the flag of the Unihorned Centaur will no longer fly above them. This week I tell the story of how I came to be involved with BooTown, and how important it will forever be to me.
Episode 32 - Livin' in a Hateful World . . .
February 06, 2018 23:02 - 54 minutes - 74.5 MBI'm back fresh from Days of the Dead in Atlanta where I shared a table with two very delightful gentlemen: David W. Barbee and Mike Lombardo, and this week's story is about that very trip. What a time was had in which I learned many things, gained new perspective on art and life, and turn into a big softy when it comes to kids and reading. I hope you enjoy listening to these adventures as much as we did having them. In sadder new, we really miss our Uncle Charles . . .
Episode 31 - Mom, What Happened?
January 29, 2018 10:41 - 42 minutes - 57.7 MBThis special episode features the first ever guest on John Wayne Lied to You: my very own Mother. I decided to go to the source on this one and get both sides of the story this week. In high school I gave the ultimate push back on some teachers who thought they knew what was 'best for me'. Well, nobody puts John Wayne in the corner . . . they just make him sit out in the hall.
Episode 30 - We're All Rejects
January 22, 2018 10:50 - 32 minutes - 45 MBAnytime you put yourself out there you face the possibility of rejection especially if you're creating something. This week is the two year anniversary of my first book, The Porn Star Retirement Plan, so I wanted to talk about the rejections and limbo I went through before having it published a well as few other tales of rejection I've faced in this writer's life I live.
Episode 29 - Golden Guacamole
January 15, 2018 12:19 - 45 minutes - 62.8 MBI've been playing in bands for twenty years, and while the perks have been great there's nothing like the privilege of an 'All Access Artists Pass' to really ruin you for normal life. This week's story follows Kris Jett and myself of johnwayneisdead on an all access adventure through Houston's Free Press Summer Fest courtesy of Jack White and his magic guacamole recipe.
Epiosode 28 - SuperUnboned
January 08, 2018 10:29 - 36 minutes - 49.7 MBWhen a celebrity dies it seems like everyone in the world needs to weigh in via social media making a spectacle of who can cry the loudest thereby taking attention off the death of the person, and putting it onto themselves by expressing to how much that person meant to them. This week's story isn't about a dead celebrity though. It's about a girl, music, and the experiences in life that stick it in, break it off, and build some character along the way.
Episode 27 - That Bitch Tried to Poison Me!
January 01, 2018 18:42 - 44 minutes - 61.5 MBWhat a time it is to be on tour! This week I recount a tale from johnwayneisdead's first long-ish tour in which we break a cardinal rule, and get a little too tipsy on the first night out. Our one-time road manager, Bobo, tries his luck with the ladies, and I maintain to this day I was actually poisoned by one of those very ladies.
Episode 26 - The Best Worst Christmas Ever
December 25, 2017 15:42 - 30 minutes - 42.3 MBThe spirit of the holiday season should not be something relegated to only a few short weeks. We should be trying to help each other out at all times regardless of what the calendar says, or how many poinsettias we happen to be surrounded by. It took me a pot of soggy wieners and a good friend to realize this myself. What a time for the Holidaze!
Episode 25 - See You at the Crossroads
December 18, 2017 10:21 - 42 minutes - 58.2 MBKris and I ran into some trouble trying to find a practice space in Denton the day before we were going into the studio to record the new johnwayneisdead record. Luckily our new friend Bianca saved the day by letting us play in her drag bar that Sunday afternoon. It's an Easter miracle, and the birth of a new tradition!
Episode 24 - Why You Trippin'?
December 11, 2017 10:26 - 34 minutes - 47.5 MBI like to party, and there's nothing wrong with going hard every once in a while as long as you know your limitations. However, the two of those things aren't mutually exclusive, and no one is taking stock of themselves in the midst of a good time. In this week's story I put those things to the test, and was glad I had new and old friends around to help me out.
Episode 23 - Funny Money
December 04, 2017 10:25 - 44 minutes - 60.8 MBWhen your weed dealer always has top-notch product, and delivers to you without contact or conversation the last thing you want to do is rock the boat. Unintentionally paying said dealer in counterfeit money is a sure fire way to not only rock that boat, but sink the shit out of it. Not the best circumstances under which to meet for the first time face to face, but it could be worse. Right?