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Recently I felt as if some underground compartment opened up within me and out came all kinds of awful feelings. There was even some shock and surprise at the power of them. The more I tried to run from them the stronger they became and overtook me, and "slew me."  


I realized that the more I tried to wrestle them back into the underneath soul-compartment the more they rose to the surface with force. I felt depressed and wondered why I could not have freedom from them. I arose "a great while before day and went out into a solitary place and there prayed." A few days before I was releasing in prayer some old pain and hurts from long ago.   


This time though it was if I could not pray like I normally have on a daily basis. I knew that the Lord was not interested in anything else. As if He was saying to me, "Out with it!" I wept. I sobbingly confessed what was in me all these years. I mean I dug down deep and held nothing back until my soul became "quiet like that of a weaned child."  


Like when Joshua went to war against Ai (Judges chp 7), they were immediately defeated, many died including thirty-six of his most valiant warriors. They all ran back to camp. "Joshua rent his clothes, and fell to the earth upon his face before the ark of the Lord until the eventide, he and the elders of Israel, and put dust upon their heads."  


Then God spoke to Joshua saying, "Get thee up; wherefore liest thou thus upon thy face? "Israel hath sinned, and they have also transgressed my covenant which I commanded them: for they have even taken of the accursed thing, and have also stolen, and dissembled also, and they have put it even among their own stuff." (vs.10-11). The sin in the camp was buried in a man's tent.   


God wants us to dig up the filth and garbage out of our own soul-tents. And to cast everything into His awaiting fires to burn them up forever. This will make us fit for the Kingdom of God. To give full reverence, submission and subjection to Him completely with eternal joy.  


“Can Christ be in thou heart and thou not know it? Can one king be dethroned and another crowned in thy soul and thou hear no scuffle?” ― William Gurnall

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