Japan By River Cruise
137 episodes - English - Latest episode: about 1 year ago - ★★★★★ - 12 ratingsStand-up comedians Bobby Judo and Ollie Horn purport to report on the Japanese river cruise industry each week.
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Episodes
Give Me Pachinko AND Give Me Death! (w/Ayana Wyse)
April 24, 2020 00:00 - 28 minutes - 39.5 MBOn this week's episode, "Black Creatives Japan" founder and Osaka-based river photographer Ayana Wyse joins the boys to discuss the ritualized Japanese social etiquette that has developed under social distancing (ie placing a customers loose change into a ceremonial tray) and the kinds of social pressures applied to those who breach said etiquette (ie punching them in their ceremonial face), as well as how Prime Minister Abe continues to flub his way through his two-mask debacle. If...
Hostess Clubs Are Now Online, But So is Abe (w/Micaela Braithwaite)
April 17, 2020 00:00 - 29 minutes - 40.9 MBTopics discussed on this episode range from: Social media backlash against people posting post-apocalyptic pics/going outside How the lockdown has changed the way we perceive everyday activities and social interactions Chances to improve your Japanese during your self-isolation How to best support your community financially and feed yourself while doing your best to prevent Covid-19 spread How Fukuoka counts as a real, major city in Japan, and we count as a real podcast despite...
Lockdown, Telework, and Other Things Japan Can't Do (w/Rochelle Kopp)
April 10, 2020 00:00 - 28 minutes - 39 MBTopics discussed on this episode range from: Abe's Declaration of a State of Emergency for Tokyo, Osaka, Fukuoka, and four other places besides Nagoya The road leading to that declaration, and the differences between western and Japanese modes of decision making. The lackluster approach to prevention efforts in Japan How Japan might be able to use its culture of shame to slow the spread of the Virus What the current pandemic has done to stereotypes of Japan as clean, polite, ob...
Japan Loses a Comedy Icon to Covid-19 (not Ollie), Plus Embarrassing Places to get Infected (w/Derek Wessman)
April 03, 2020 00:00 - 29 minutes - 41 MBOn this episode, the boys are joined by translator, consultant, and suspected riverboat restaurant arsonist, Derek Wessman (@dwvcd), to discuss all of the latest Covid-19 developments, including: The passing of comedy legend Shimura Ken and how it has affected the optics on the pandemic, people who have been caught (by the virus) in the MOST cliched ways possible, and also 14 Fun Lockdown hacks that that you can do with just two surgical masks! Plus, Ollie recommends a Kobe Cruise ...
Japan Loses a Comedy Icon to Covid-19 (not Ollie), Plus Embarrassing Places to get Infected
April 03, 2020 00:00 - 29 minutes - 41 MBOn this episode, the boys are joined by translator, consultant, and suspected riverboat restaurant arsonist, Derek Wessman (@dwvcd), to discuss all of the latest Covid-19 developments, including: The passing of comedy legend Shimura Ken and how it has affected the optics on the pandemic, people who have been caught (by the virus) in the MOST cliched ways possible, and also 14 Fun Lockdown hacks that that you can do with just two surgical masks! Plus, Ollie recommends a Kobe Cruise that has ...
Bobby Gets Tested for Covid-19 (like, actually); Olympics Gets Postponed
March 27, 2020 01:00 - 31 minutes - 43.7 MBOn this episode, the boys discuss Japan's decision to postpone the Olympics, which was clearly a decision that they totally arrived at on their own because it was the responsible thing to do, and not because their hand was forced or anything like that. Also, speaking of responsible things to do, Bobby talks about how he got tested for Covid-19 FOR REAL, and how doing so has pretty much ruined his life. Plus, Ollie recommends a river cruise that is doing some timely rebranding to le...
Holding Petty Grudges, Buying All the Tickets, and Other Big Ego Problems
March 20, 2020 01:00 - 31 minutes - 43.2 MBThe guys take a look at a baseball fan who was practicing some EERILY prescient social distancing, and also how the coronavirus is causing shortages for men with the opposite of shortages. Plus, Ollie recommends a SUBLIME cruise.... or, wait, was it a SUBLIMATION cruise? And Bobby starts an in-depth look at how Japan executes their own versions of the popular "Tunnel of Love," or as they call it here, the "Tunnel of The Moon is Beautiful, Innit?" If you want to see the video of the...
Support Your Local Chinese Restaurant, and Stop All that Ass Blasting
March 13, 2020 01:00 - 29 minutes - 41.2 MBThe boys discuss the way Japan has come together during the corona virus to show support for the Chinese... restaurant industry domestically, as well as an unrelated workplace incident that begs the question "Just how far from the anus does the "vicinity of the anus extend?"" Also, Ollie recommends a River Cruise for people who love foreplay but hate sex, and Bobby takes a look at a pretty valuable new service for people who want to go on a river cruise date, but are awful. http://...
This Episode Has Been Canceled
March 06, 2020 01:00 - 35 minutes - 48.3 MBOn this episode, the boys take a look at Japan's Covid-19 response measures. Keep in mind, the podcast is recorded one day before it's published, so if Japan's actions sound like they're a month too late, they're actually only 29 days too late. Also, Ollie recommends a cruise that lets you appreciate the finer points of Japanese craftsmanship in your final moments, and Bobby tells us how the River Cruise industry is booming, thanks to an innovative new multi-purpose ticketing optio...
Inkan't believe Japan still uses stamps to transfer money to river cruise operators
February 28, 2020 01:00 - 32 minutes - 44 MBBobby and Ollie discuss how one Japanese bank is trying to move away from the use of hanko rubber stamps, concluding setting up a bank in Japan is only advised if you have a short Japanese name and don't plan to use the services that the bank provides. Also, Ollie has a river cruise recomendation for government officials with a generous expense account, and Bobby has good news for anybody worried that the river cruise industry are not playing their part in stopping the COVID-19 vir...
If You Board the River Cruise, You Will be Expected to Finish the River Cruise
February 21, 2020 12:00 - 30 minutes - 42.3 MBOn this week's JRBC, a curry restaurant bans a customer for not finishing his rice, and the customer questions the legality of said ban. How far will the customer go in his fight to restore his right to eat food prepared by people who now hate him? Also, Ollie recommends a boatless river boat experience (or does he?), and Bobby gets some insight into why Japan will probably lose most of the river related Olympic Events this year. Message numbers have doubled this week! Keep em comi...
Still Mad at the Listener who Asked about KOREAN OCEAN CRUISES
February 14, 2020 01:00 - 31 minutes - 43.7 MBThe boys are joined by Sophie Hardison, Inspector General at the Sanzunokawa River Crossing Certification Authority to decide once and for all which Asian countries are good and which ones are bad. Also, Ollie recommends visitors to Japan take advantage of the super convenient river cruise pass system, and spends 90 minutes walking you through the first third of the application process. Plus, Bobby talks about a new line of Luxury cruises, in a tone that depends entirely on the operators of ...
Still Mad at the Listener who Asked about KOREAN OCEAN CRUISES (w/Sophie Hardison)
February 14, 2020 01:00 - 31 minutes - 43.7 MBThe boys are joined by Sophie Hardison, Inspector General at the Sanzunokawa River Crossing Certification Authority to decide once and for all which Asian countries are good and which ones are bad. Also, Ollie recommends visitors to Japan take advantage of the super convenient river cruise pass system, and spends 90 minutes walking you through the first third of the application process. Plus, Bobby talks about a new line of Luxury cruises, in a tone that depends entirely on the oper...
Ainu This Was Gonna Be a Terrible Pun.
February 07, 2020 01:00 - 32 minutes - 44.4 MBOn today's show, Ollie and Bobby demonstrate how woefully ill-equipped they are to discuss the issues surrounding the Ainu people and the opening of their new culture complex in Hokkaido, plus discuss the spread of Bobby's viral tweet, which, quite frankly, is putting the download numbers of a certain podcast to SHAME. This week's recommended river cruise will finally help young creatives make use of all of that "exposure" they've been trying to live off of, and in our River Cruise ...
Season 2 Hits the Water
January 31, 2020 12:00 - 56 minutes - 77 MBJBRC is BACK after a winter hiatus which was dedicated almost entirely to Japanese River Cruise research. In this episode, we catch up with Ollie and Bobby, touch on the coronavirus (hopefully not long enough for transmission), give props to the first ever Japanese chef working in France to earn a three-star Michelin rating. Also, Ollie recommends a river cruise that hasn't yet shown any symptoms, plus Bobby gives you a long, literal look into the best river cruise adjacent onsen. ...
Sadly, Sawajiri Erika's Guest Appearance has been Canceled. We're Not Sure Why.
November 21, 2019 15:00 - 28 minutes - 39.7 MBOn today's episode, Bobby and Ollie discuss Sawajiri Erika's drug arrest, and ask the question, is drug use really a crime if you're just talking about recreational pot, ecstasy, acid, and cocaine? Who are we, nay, who are YOU to pass judgment? Oh, you're the Japanese police? Cool, nevermind. Also Ollie continues his streak of micro-niche River Cruise recommendations, and Bobby tells you about a Hokkaido river cruise that, had it sailed 60 years ago, would have ended in cannibalism ...
River Cruise Employees Will No Longer Be Required to Wear Wet T-shirts at Work (w/JJ Wakrat)
November 14, 2019 15:00 - 33 minutes - 46.5 MBOllie and Bobby are joined by Tokyo Roast Battle founder and RC Weed sommelier JJ Wakrat to discuss the changes to corporate culture in Japan, like reduced hour work weeks, and the constants in corporate culture, like requiring women to be sex objects. Plus, Ollie has your river cruise recommendation, if he has the time. And Bobby will tell you how one river cruise is letting its passengers earn a little extra AND help bring closure to grieving families. Hit us up on the messag...
River Cruise Employees Will No Longer Be Required to Wear Wet T-shirts at Work
November 14, 2019 15:00 - 33 minutes - 46.5 MBOllie and Bobby are joined by Tokyo Roast Battle founder and RC Weed sommelier JJ Wakrat to discuss the changes to corporate culture in Japan, like reduced hour work weeks, and the constants in corporate culture, like requiring women to be sex objects. Plus, Ollie has your river cruise recommendation, if he has the time. And Bobby will tell you how one river cruise is letting its passengers earn a little extra AND help bring closure to grieving families. Hit us up on the message box: ht...
Rivers are Ever Changing, Radiation Levels are Not
November 07, 2019 15:00 - 29 minutes - 40.4 MBOllie and Bobby try their best not to cry over spilt radioactive waste. Also, Bobby's week consisted of turning 36, getting a letter from Japan's Minister of Finance, and somehow ending up a straight white male diversity hire. Plus Ollie recommends a cruse for English people that may never happen, and Bobby explains why you might have to travel back to 1992 to appreciate Japan's efforts to catch up with the rest of the industrialized world.
Friends with Benefits, where "benefits" means discounted River Cruise Tickets (w/Matt Davies)
October 25, 2019 01:00 - 31 minutes - 43.4 MBBobby and Ollie are joined by internationally traveling comedian and Assistant Director of the Bayankhongor River Yacht Club Matt Davies to discuss some bad beef and answer the question "Is a Bath Friend REALLY any different from a Standard Sex friend, if getting in the bath is just an excuse to have sex?" (SPOILER ALERT: Yes, but mostly in terms of how clean you are after.) Also, Ollie recommends a convoluted new gambling river cruise, that will NEVER EVER CATCH ON, and JRBC make...
Friends with Benefits, where "benefits" means discounted River Cruise Tickets
October 25, 2019 01:00 - 31 minutes - 43.4 MBBobby and Ollie are joined by internationally traveling comedian and Assistant Director of the Bayankhongor River Yacht Club Matt Davies to discuss some bad beef and answer the question "Is a Bath Friend REALLY any different from a Standard Sex friend, if getting in the bath is just an excuse to have sex?" (SPOILER ALERT: Yes, but mostly in terms of how clean you are after.) Also, Ollie recommends a convoluted new gambling river cruise, that will NEVER EVER CATCH ON, and JRBC makes some MA...
The Promotional Material for the River Cruise Orgy MAY HAVE BEEN Slightly Inappropriate
October 25, 2019 01:00 - 33 minutes - 45.9 MBOn this week's episode we discuss the Japanese Red Cross's efforts to collect bodily fluids by showing dudes some boobs, and the related twitter/Shonen Jump controversy/reactions. Exactly how much sexual objectification of women is okay for a humanitarian organization and/or magazine for middle school kids? (TLDL: None.) Also, Ollie recommends a river cruise, but be careful with your Katakana, or you might confuse one objectively awful thing with another equally awful thing. And riv...
The Only Hazing on This River Cruise is Due to Inclement Weather (no refunds)
October 17, 2019 15:00 - 28 minutes - 38.9 MB"The boys" discuss a hazing incident involving out of control school teachers, and Bobby meets some progressive dinosaurs. Also, Ollie uses a story about harrasment to remind us that he went to Oxford. Not forgetting that this week Ollie recommends a great Cruise for JLPT takers who want to practice their Mandarin, and Bobby gets his Oricon chart statistics a little confused.
Sadly, The Potentially Deadly Typhoon May Delay your Japanese River Cruise
October 10, 2019 15:00 - 36 minutes - 50.7 MBToday, Ollie continues his Southeast Asian comedy of errors and becomes a record-holding comedy pioneer in Jakarta, the guys continue their miraculous two-message per show streak, and we talk typhoon-destruction and technology-based stalking. In our regular segments, Ollie recommends a throwback cruise that might be a little TOO committed to historical accuracy, and Bobby tries to crowdfund some River Cruise related bribery. As always, please look at our message box on japanbyriverc...
Fix that River Cruise Sunburn with JBRC Brand Bleach!
October 04, 2019 01:00 - 34 minutes - 47.7 MBApologies to Jackie, Brian, and Darrell, and thanks to Baye Mcneil who writes awesome stuff like this: https://www.japantimes.co.jp/community/2019/09/30/our-lives/say-bad-thing-read-boilerplate-apology-can-better/ ★ Support this podcast ★
Tax Exemptions for Brians
September 27, 2019 01:00 - 29 minutes - 41.2 MBIn this Episode, a Brian stops by the studio to listen to us talk about Japan's insanely convoluted consumption tax hike, and guess what? Because he listened in the studio instead of at home, he actually owes us more money. Plus Ollie is doing comedy in Nepal now but... How? Why? He'll talk for ten minutes and answer neither of those questions. And, we recommend a cruise that takes you through a pretty contentious political riverscape, and turn the pages of one of the seminal works of JRC Ing...
Tax Exemptions for Brians (w/a Brian)
September 27, 2019 01:00 - 29 minutes - 41.2 MBIn this Episode, a Brian stops by the studio to listen to us talk about Japan's insanely convoluted consumption tax hike, and guess what? Because he listened in the studio instead of at home, he actually owes us more money. Plus Ollie is doing comedy in Nepal now but... How? Why? He'll talk for ten minutes and answer neither of those questions. And, we recommend a cruise that takes you through a pretty contentious political riverscape, and turn the pages of one of the seminal works o...
All Non-Tokyo River Cruises are Garbage. Here's the order in which they are garbage.
September 21, 2019 01:00 - 26 minutes - 36.4 MBIn this episode we talk a look at the recent ranking of which Japanese cities you can settle for, if you're not good enough for Tokyo, and Ollie and Bobby talk about the difficulties of performing with a certain type of Japanese entertainer, and dealing with being boxed in as a foreigner, especially linguistically. Plus Ollie recommends a river cruise that really illustrates the greatest paradox of "Ninja Tourism," and Bobby tells us how this year's River Cruise Mascot Character Des...
You know, River Cruises are pretty much Guaranteed to be Road-Rage-Free
September 13, 2019 01:00 - 30 minutes - 41.8 MBIn this episode we discuss what the aori unten, or road rage epidemic is teaching Japan about itself, and how a simple pointer about why you shouldn't call toddlers sexy turned into a horrifying examination of why that pointer was necessary. Plus Ollie recommends you figure out a way to climb onto an amphibious vehicle mid-launch, and Bobby is not inciting a goddamned thing, 公安調査庁, you can't prove shit. As always, find our message box at http://japanbyrivercruise.com and stare at ...
Abe to Trump: "Don't Dishonor our River Cruises."
September 06, 2019 15:00 - 26 minutes - 36.4 MBIn this episode, we discuss all the latest in Japan-US relations, including travel advisories, and EVEN MORE EXCITING, agricultural trade deals! What WILL Japan do with all those US grown soybeans? Plus, Edinburgh Fringe? More like Edinburgh CRINGE. Ollie relives his latest on stage disaster for your listening pleasure. Plus, guess who's stoked for the Rugby World Cup/River cruise collaboration? Not Ollie! Also, add your voice to our totally unbiased survey: What is it about bein...
Beat the Heat (before you die) on a Japanese River Cruise!
August 09, 2019 05:10 - 28 minutes - 39.6 MBPlush "Yuru-kyara" mascots are super hot in Japan right now, mostly because the temperatures are well up into heat stroke range. What does the lethal heat wave look like on the ground and how is Japan dealing/not dealing with it? Also, Bobby has stopped drinking alcohol! Message us via Japanbyrivercruise.com to place your bets on how long you think it'll last! Ollie recommends a themed river cruise that once again showcases how skilled Japan is when it comes to capturing the essenc...
Aziz Ansari's Apology Tour Didn't Include Even One Single River Cruise
August 02, 2019 05:00 - 32 minutes - 44.9 MBIn this episode, we talk about Aziz Ansari's latest special and how the Netflix version differs from when he did it Tokyo (ie the lighting, the camera work, and the EXPLICIT RACIAL DISCRIMINATION). Also, Ollie kicks out a 7th of his audience at his Fringe Preview. Plus, we introduce a river cruise in Kobe that's perfect for cruise enthusiasts looking for a big change in their life, plus, the singularity: what does it mean for river cruise seating capacity? Extra note: Japanbyriver...
It's like the Olympics of River Cruises, Except without the River Cruises... So Just the Olympics
July 26, 2019 07:00 - 33 minutes - 45.9 MBYour #1 source for River Cruise-related Japan travel info. In this episode, we discuss the Japan 2020 Olympic Ticket Lottery, and why we both couldn't care less about the Olympics, unless it would help us get a job, in which case, we're aficionados. Also, Bobby climbed a mountain twice, and Ollie alienated the UK comedy community (and not just with his jokes). Plus, Ollie recommends a River Cruise that, let's be honest, is probably generating electricity for brothels, and Bobby tak...
Brought to you by Kim Kardashian's "River Cruise" (Trademark Pending)
July 19, 2019 17:00 - 31 minutes - 43 MBYour #1 source for River Cruise-related Japan Travel Info and News. In this Episode, Ollie gets to put his extensive background in Japan-related copyright law into practice for the first (and likely only) time EVER, as we discuss that whole Kim Kardashian kimono #kimohno thing that you've already forgotten about, plus Bobby finds himself involuntarily caught up in the WORST part of a company night out. Also, Ollie's got the scoop on a Tokyo-adjacent River Cruise that the terrorists...
So, 11 Japanese comedians, a mob boss, and a navy rapist walk onto a River Cruise...
July 12, 2019 07:00 - 34 minutes - 47.3 MBJapan By River Cruise is the premier source of news about Japan's burgeoning river cruise industry, with top tips about how to make the most of your cruising. In this episode we talk about the Japanese entertainment industry, and discuss the story of 11 Japanese comedians who broke strict rules by mixing with the wrong people. Also, Ollie has a river cruise recommendation which has a special appeal to cash-carrying science fiction fans, and Bobby puts on his consumer champion hat...
Is there a Doctor on the River Cruise?（No, Not You, Ma'am)
July 05, 2019 07:00 - 30 minutes - 42.5 MBBobby's Japanese Mistakes: "Nama" (raw) is an acceptable way to order ramen noodles. "Sekkai" is better defined as "lime," while "sekkaika" is "calcification." ★ Support this podcast ★
The First Ever Japan By River Cruise!
June 28, 2019 07:00 - 31 minutes - 43.8 MBJapan By River Cruise is your number one source for River Cruise-related Japan Travel Info and News. In this Episode, you'll meet your hosts Bobby and Ollie (non-Japanese stand-ups with extensive experience in both the River Cruise, and Japanese entertainment industry), and hear their thoughts on just one of the latest kimono marketing disasters. We discuss why a 2016 ad campaign has recently popped up on the Japanese social justice radar, and larger issues surrounding cultural and g...