Erikka Yancy

Intro: Having the experience of listening and not talking.
Let Me Run This By You: I want to stop doing comparisons.
Interview: We talk to Erikka Yancy about developing an eating disorder, facing the not so nice qualities of her younger self, cutthroat environments, becoming a documentary film producer, going to grad school at AFI, One Flea Spare, being one of only a very few students of color, unlikely hikers.

FULL TRANSCRIPT

Speaker 1: (00:08)
I'm Jen Bosworth from me this and I'm Gina [inaudible]. We went to theater school together. We survived it, but we didn't quite understand it. 20 years later, we're digging deep talking to our guests about their experiences and trying to make sense of it all. We survived theater school and you will too. Are we famous yet? Multiple projects together? I, for some reason it just never hit me.

Speaker 2: (00:34)
We also had that same. I feel like it's because we never felt like, well, I'll speak for myself. I never felt like I fit in there. So, so if you, if I don't fit in somewhere, I'm not going to be like, Hey, so-and-so let's, but, but you're right. I mean, I think the, the resources and the, um, people available to us are the same people that were available to them. You're so right. I think it just, for me, it's psychology. It just comes down to not feeling worthy or, um, interesting or whatever enough to say to someone, Hey, let's do a project together or let's, you know? Absolutely. And it is sad. And, and I think I always it's through graduation, after graduate, I always had the feeling like I, it was a mistake that they let me stay there. It was a mistake that I was ever led in, in the first place I didn't really belong to, you know, so then you'd think, well, but everybody else did everybody, but me deserved to be there. And so they all get to reuse their cohorts. Right, right. Of, uh, of the school. I mean, I use their connections, reap the rewards. I definitely feel the same way. And I also, I also felt like, and I feel like this at grad school too, that I didn't fit in. And so I didn't use use my grad school connections when I was starting out as a therapist. Like, it's just, I didn't use any of my connections anywhere ever. I have never, I have never.

Speaker 1: (02:09)
Yeah. Even when I was a therapist too, Aaron would always be saying,

Speaker 2: (02:13)
Give me like, like an example was, this is a very, this is not related, but it's related. Ah, I remember when we were living in New York and he was in his residency and I needed a doctor's appointment or something like that. And I called and it, and I kind of needed to be seen urgently, but, um, they didn't have any appointments. And so I had to take one that was whatever, in two weeks, and I told them about it. And he was like, did you say that you were married to me? And I said, no, why, why would I do that? He's like, Gina, you have to say, you have to call back and say, I'm Dr. Krasner's wife. And it made me feel icky, but whatever it is, just the way it works, because sure enough, when I called back, they're like, Oh, why didn't you say something? Of course

Speaker 3: (03:03)
You can come in today.

Speaker 2: (03:06)
Just, I guess it just

Speaker 3: (03:09)
Really bothers me that that is the way that the world works. And, and I, and I have never been one to want to, I've never, I've really ushered like the whole schmoozy nature of this business, which is another one of my failings, like in terms of getting, getting what I wanted out of my career.

Speaker 2: (03:32)
Oh, I mean, I think I totally can relate to that. And I, all I can say is like, I totally relate. And also we're given a chance, thank gosh, now, to start over and to do it in a way that isn't smarmy, but it's also, it comes back to confidence, right? It's a confidence game of like, get in there and swing your Dick and, and own your. And so now I did something, um, like two, two weeks ago when I talked to somebody and I told you, you know, it was through a friend. And, but I did say my ask is that you would, I just to the person I just said, my ask is that you'd read my spec and then it's you. And then, and, and, and if you have any feedback on it, I would ask that you give it to me. And I would also ask that you read our original pilot. And if you have agents and managers in your world, that might like our, our work, please, if you would pass it along and no one was like, Oh my God, you know, she wasn't like, Oh, that's crazy. She was like, okay.

Speaker 3: (04:35)
Yeah. Right, right, exactly. Because everybody also knows before the conversation ever happens, if somebody is asking to chat with you, everybody already knows that there's going to be an ask in there. That that's how it works.

Speaker 2: (04:47)
The thing I was going to say is even when, so I was thinking about like, well, is it me? Is it still the common denominator? So I remember when, um, I had just moved to LA and actually someone said, Oh, I told my agent that there was a hot new Latina in town immediately. I felt terrible. Like, I didn't feel like I deserved that label. Right. Whatever the point is, she was trying to be super helpful. And she made an appointment with me, with her agent. And I went in beans and I bombed the meeting. I sabotaged myself, I sabotage the meeting. I downplayed all my, I had been on two TV shows at the time I downplayed the TV show. I ruined it. I ruined the meeting and I wasn't ready. I wasn't, I couldn't take it in. And now we're just starting to be able to be like, yeah, no, we want to do projects. We want to do this. We're worthy. But it took me to be 45. That's what it took.

Speaker 3: (05:45)
And it takes what it takes. I've been talking ab...