Monday Motivation - The Inner Critic, Part 2

Last week, I discussed the overall concept of the inner critic. If you missed that podcast, I’d highly recommend going back and getting the basics down. But, if you are too lazy or you need a refresher, here are a few important points. 1) Your inner critic is trying to keep you “safe” by keeping you from doing anything that is risky or has the chance of failure 2) Everyone has an inner critic and 3) to write, you’re going to need to learn how to write through or around the inner critic. The tag line from last week was, “your relationship with your inner critic defines the limits of your writing life.”

We ended last week with a call for you just to awareness to your inner critic. What came up for you? What did you notice about when your inner critic speaks up? Here are some of mine:

1.         My inner critic comes up when I try to start writing

2.         When I want to exercise 

3.         Try to improve myself in any way possible

4.         Lean into something where I’ve already failed and the failure hurt. The worse the hurt, the more subtle and powerful my inner critic’s attempts to shut me down.

So, I’ve come to realize that often these Monday Motivations somehow wind up being my subconscious speaking on a topic before I become aware that the topic is important to me. Oddly, I get tattoos in the exact same way. Which may sound like an awful idea. But, I find I get obsessed about a obsess about a tattoo and then until I finally get it, and then it is about a year before I realize just how important the tattoo is to my story. It is as if I live my way into the tattoo. 

In the same way, I’ve lived my way into this talk. My inner critic has been so sly and powerful it has been almost imperceptible. This highlights just how challenging it can be to “see” your inner critic. I mean, I am coach. That is my livelihood. And I STILL COULDN’T SEE IT. 

So, what am I afraid of? 

I’m afraid of my message. Of THE MESSAGE of How Writers Write. I’m afraid to “market” my stuff and even myself, because I don’t want to look like a snake oil salesman. I’m afraid of people making fun of me. I’m afraid of selling transformation and delivering mediocrity. 

My fears are suffocating me. My fear keeps my story and my message locked inside my ribs. 

Who is saved by me living by my fear and NOT living by my inner guidance? That little light that people call all sorts of things from a soul to God to whatever.

It is my future, failed self. 

NOT my future, successful self. It is the Brian of six months from now when I shout from the rooftops my message and it falls flat and I end in financial failure and existential crisis. 

What does your failed self look like? What is it you so afraid of failing into that it keeps you from your life’s work? 

Take out a piece of paper and a pen. Write down your answers to a few questions.

1.         What does the future failed you look like? What has happened to you? What does it feel like? 

2.         Now, flip it on its head. What if it all worked out exactly how you dreamed it would happen? How would that feel in the future self of success?

3.         Now, meditate for the next week on what separates your failed future and your successful feature. There are two really important questions to ask in living to your .

a.         What do you have to “say yes” to live into your successful future self? 

b.        What do you need to “say no” to live into your successful future self?

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