When one of us suffers, we all suffer. So says our guest, Rachael Jaye. Jaye is a certified Connection Coach and today she’s going to talk to us about her work helping to rehabilitate intimacy lost in separation.

So, exactly what is a Connection Coach, and why might you need one? When we move through divorce, when trust is tested or broken, we might experience a loss of our ability exist in the space of connection or intimacy with other people. And, because relationships tend to break down slowly, over years, it’s not often clear what connection skills have eroded along the way. This week on the show we talk all about this, why relationships break down, how our ability to communicate authentically is dependent on our ability to connect intimately.

About Rachael Jaye

Rachael Jaye is The Connection Coach. Her belief is that when one of us suffers, we all suffer; yet healing is available when we experience genuine connection with others. As a certified Cuddlist and Connection Specialist, she’s a pro at creating a safe space in her connection sessions, and also offers coaching around cultivating authentic relationships. While her techniques apply universally, Rachael specializes in supporting men’s mental and emotional health specifically as it pertains to their relationships. She’s developed support programs designed to meet a client where they’re at, whether simply looking for someone to listen to and accept them, or desiring tools to reignite the intimacy in their relationship. She loves theatre, rooting for her Niners, and engaging intentionally with strangers — but not like a creeper!

Links & Notes

-Find Rachael at HKR Coaching
-Follow Rachael Jaye on LinkedIn
-Follow Rachael Jaye on Instagram
-Follow Rachael Jaye on Facebook


(00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster
(00:29) - Rachael Jaye, Connection Coach
(01:32) - The Loneliest Population
(04:28) - Alone vs. Lonely
(05:55) - Identifying Loneliness in Your Spouse
(08:50) - Sidebar: What is a Cuddlist?
(11:21) - Boundaries and Roles
(13:37) - Techniques for Connection
(17:47) - Work Path With Married vs. Divorced Men
(19:16) - Dos and Don'ts on Post-Divorce Dating
(25:53) - Help for Women
(27:22) - Market for Connection Coaching
(28:40) - Connecting With Rachael & Wrapping Up