How to Live in Denmark
134 episodes - English - Latest episode: about 1 month ago - ★★★★★ - 60 ratingsLife as an international in Denmark, one of the world's most homogenous countries, isn't always easy. In Denmark’s longest-running English-language podcast, Kay Xander Mellish, an American who has lived in Denmark for more than a decade, offers tips for enjoying your time in “the world’s happiest country” plus insights on Danish culture and how to build friendships with Danes.
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Episodes
Why Danes Find Compliments So Awkward
March 24, 2024 07:00 - 7 minutes - 9.88 MBA story I’ve heard over and over again when I talk to internationals working in Denmark is this: They thought they were going to get fired. They’d been working for a year or so at professional-level job in Denmark, often one they’d been recruited for, but they’d never heard any positive comments from their manager. They started to worry. They were doing their best, but maybe it just wasn’t good enough. Were they going to lose the job? Were they going to have to go back home, humiliated...
Romance in Denmark
February 06, 2024 07:41 - 8 minutes - 12 MBDenmark’s doing a big recruitment campaign now, trying to get young professionals to bring their skills to Denmark, and a lot of them are single when they arrive. If they want to meet someone and don’t meet someone, and if they want a serious relationship and a family but can’t get started, they often go home again. So, in the name of economic development, here are my tips on romance in Denmark. Bringing your own dating culture I talk a lot in my speeches about how people bring their...
Finding light in the Danish Winter Darkness
January 10, 2024 00:00 - 7 minutes - 9.84 MBMany internationals newly arrived in Denmark struggle with the long Danish winter. The darkness that starts to fall in the early afternoon means that 5pm looks just like 8pm, which looks just like midnight, which looks just like 5am. Dense, inky black sky. During the daytime there’s a dim grey light, sometimes accompanied by a soupy fog of tiny raindrops. It’s tough to handle - even for Danes. Many people living through this time in Denmark describe feeling low-energy – sløj is th...
New Year's Eve Traditions in Denmark
December 26, 2023 07:00 - 6 minutes - 8.79 MBIt’s almost Week 1, in the weekly numbering system that’s widely used in Northern Europe, where the year starts with week 1 and runs through to Week 52 or 53, depending on the calendar. It’s very efficient for planning, so you don’t have to say something messy like “What about that week that starts Monday June 3…” Week 1 starts on January 1, and everything follows that in perfect order. But before January 1 we have New Year’s Eve, a day that fills me with trepidation to be honest, becaus...
How to Handle a Conflict in Denmark
December 18, 2023 07:00 - 6 minutes - 9.49 MBIf you are an international who lives in Denmark, or someone who wants to, you have to learn the Danish way of dealing with conflict. This might be with a colleague, or your upstairs neighbors, or the authorities at the commune. In these cases, it’s very important not to lose your temper or raise your voice. And this can be tricky if the culture you come from, your culture of origin, is a passionate culture. Denmark is not a passionate culture. If you hear someone talking about their pas...
Drugs in Denmark
September 29, 2023 08:31 - 5 minutes - 7.88 MBDenmark is getting rich selling pharmaceuticals to other countries, but within Denmark itself, the approach is inconsistent. Getting illegal drugs doesn't seem to be too difficult, but getting legal drugs from your doctor can be.
Equality and the Electric Bike
August 27, 2023 09:36 - 7 minutes - 10.7 MBWhen I first arrived in Denmark, you could shut down any dispute in Denmark by appealing to equality and the common good. Solidarity - “solidaritet” - and “fælleskab”, or community, or even “samfundssind”, societal spirit, were magic words. They still are with the older generation that built Denmark’s welfare state. If you want to convince this generation of anything, just make a reference to solidarity and community and societal spirit. Works like a charm. I’m often asked if the younge...
How to Meet a Dead Viking: The Mummies of Denmark
August 01, 2023 08:38 - 7 minutes - 10.1 MBMany people who visit Denmark are fans of the Vikings, the colloquial name for Scandinavians before the medieval era, although technically speaking the Viking raiders were at their peak in the years 800-1100. There are plenty of opportunities, especially now during tourist season, to see modern-day Danes dressed up as Vikings, building wooden ships, cooking over open fires, and fighting with swords and shields. Exhibitions like this are very popular with visitors from overseas. What th...
No ice cream in July: Scenes from the Danish summer vacation period
June 29, 2023 09:37 - 7 minutes - 10.1 MBIn Denmark, the right to a long summer vacation is enshrined into law - the national vacation law, which states that all employees have a right to three weeks’ vacation between May and September. Shops close, too. An ice cream shop in my neighborhood closed down for the entire month of July last year. You would think this would be peak time for ice cream, but for the owners of the ice cream shop, their own vacation was more important. This year, I noticed that the bicycle store up the st...
Rich in Denmark
May 26, 2023 05:18 - 7 minutes - 10.2 MBDenmark is a rich country, but does it have rich people? It does, but Denmark’s wealthy tend to keep a low profile, due to the informal Jante Law in Denmark that prohibits too much showing off. That said, spring and summer is great time to see Danish rich people in their natural habitat. That’s when they put the roof down on their expensive German cars and drive through the medieval old towns, drink rosé chilled in silver buckets at fancy outdoor cafés, or sail through the harbor on their...
What Newcomers to Denmark Ask Me
April 30, 2023 18:24 - 6 minutes - 9.55 MBWhen you’ve been an international in Denmark for a while, as I have, you sometimes forget what it was like to arrive here for the first time and know nothing. I remember arriving just about this time of year and being astonished by all the public holidays in spring. I’d arrived to work, but the office kept shutting down. Now one of my various gigs is cultural training for newcomers, paid for by the big corporations that bring them here. The questions they ask bring me back to the time wh...
Denmark and Butter: A Love Story
April 10, 2023 10:33 - 6 minutes - 8.71 MBThe hottest competitive sport in Denmark over the past year hasn’t been handball, or football, or badminton. It’s been chasing cheap butter in the supermarket. Recent inflation has doubled the price of butter – in some places, up to 30 kroner – but if you rush, you can get…a package of butter for 10 kroner at one supermarket…wait, only three packages per customer…hey, this competing supermarket has matched the price…look, this other one has it for only 5 kroner…ohhhhhh, it’s sold out for t...
Randers is not a joke
September 21, 2022 10:58 - 7 minutes - 10.8 MBIt seems as if every country has a city or region that it is the butt of jokes. The rest of the country makes fun of the locals’ unattractive accents and supposedly low-end behavior. In Denmark, that city is Randers. Randers is a city in Northern Jutland, about a half hour away from Aarhus. It used to be bigger than Aarhus, and bigger than Aalborg too, but it was a manufacturing town, and when manufacturing fell apart in Denmark after the Second World War, so did Randers. The stereotype ...
The Bridges of Denmark
September 01, 2022 08:00 - 7 minutes - 10.7 MBA country like Denmark, with so much coastline and water, needs a lot of bridges - and there have been 5 new colorful, stylish bridges built in Copenhagen alone in the past decade. And because this is Denmark, and people love design, each bridge has its own special look. You can’t just put up a few bridge supports and a deck on top for traffic. You need style, and you need a colorful name. Consider, for example, the multicolored Kissing Bridge in Copenhagen. It’s not named that because y...
On returning to Denmark: Swimming in Copenhagen harbor, picking wild blackberries, and admiring Danish law and order
August 17, 2022 07:26 - 6 minutes - 8.83 MBAfter some time out of Denmark, Kay returns and finds a whole new list of things to love. Swimming in Copenhagen harbour is a delight - the once-industrial waterway has been cleaned up enough to become a giant swimming zone. The wild blackberry bushes are ready for harvest, and there are plenty in public spaces - like near the railway and S-train tracks - where the blackberries are totally free, first come, first serve. Wash them well and they make for a wonderful blackberry pie, a bla...
Ballad of the Danish Royal Teenagers
May 14, 2022 05:11 - 7 minutes - 10.5 MBIt’s hard to be a teenager no matter who you are or where you live, but spare a thought for the two teenagers of the Danish Royal Family. 16-year-old Christian - the future King Christian XI - and 15-year-old Isabella have to deal with family photo calls and media events, leaked Tik Tok videos, and a TV documentary this week accusing their boarding school of being a toxic environment.
Tivoli vs Bakken: How two amusement parks show the two sides of Denmark
April 28, 2022 13:26 - 6 minutes - 8.93 MBDenmark has several amusement parks, including the original Legoland, but the ones I know best are the ones in Copenhagen - Tivoli Gardens and Bakken. Tivoli and Bakken show two different sides of the Danish character. Tivoli is the sleek, confident, high-end image that Denmark likes to present to the world: it has exquisite flower gardens, fancy shops and restaurants, and a theater that hosts world-class performers. Bakken is more homey, more quirky, a little shabby, and a bit more hy...
On the Road: Copenhagen Northwest, beyond the cherry trees
March 19, 2022 10:00 - 5 minutes - 7.7 MBIt’s springtime, and the cherry trees are about to bloom in Copenhagen Northwest, which is usually the only time people who live outside Northwest bother to go there. Northwest is a working class neighborhood, so much so that the streets are named after working-class occupations. While other Copenhagen neighborhoods have streets named after kings and queens and generals, Northwest has brick-maker street, and book-binder street, and rope-maker street, and a barrel-maker street. But th...
The Secret Strategy for Practicing Spoken Danish
March 02, 2022 12:28 - 6 minutes - 8.41 MBNewcomers to Denmark often complain that the locals aren’t chatty. Danes don’t want to converse on the bus, or on the train, or in line at the supermarket, or really anyplace that isn’t a designated social zone. Like the company canteen at lunch, or a dinner party at home to which they have invited a precise number of people to match the number of chairs that they own. In general, Danes rarely talk to strangers unless they are drunk, but there is one exception: Danish people over 75 years old...
Queen Margrethe, Denmark's good-humored, much-loved monarch
January 14, 2022 08:58 - 6 minutes - 8.23 MBNo matter how they feel about the institution of royalty, almost everyone likes Denmark’s Queen Margrethe, who is celebrating 50 years on the throne this week. Every New Year’s Eve, the streets of Denmark go quiet as the Queen makes her annual televised speech to her subjects. I find the speeches pretty much the same every year, they’re about being kind to each other, taking care of the environment, and such. The real entertainment is in the Queen’s wardrobe - she designs her own clothes...
The Non-Drinkers' Guide to Danish Christmas parties
November 11, 2021 10:19 - 6 minutes - 8.32 MBDrinking, and drinking heavily, is common in Denmark at holiday time. Whether it's the traditional "gløgg" - hot spiced wine with nuts, orange peel and a little brandy - or the specially-made (and specially-strong) Christmas beers, you'll be offered a great deal of alcohol at almost every seasonal social event. But what if you're a nondrinker, or a light drinker? In this episode we'll tell you how to enjoy Christmas in Denmark while avoiding alcohol.
Denmark's Big and Wonderful Second Hand Economy
October 18, 2021 12:11 - 7 minutes - 9.91 MBDenmark has a thriving second-hand economy, in part because people generally don't look down on second-hand goods here. The Danes are practical people – why should something be thrown out when it can be used again? And their passion for sustainability means it’s cool to reuse something that already exists instead of manufacturing something new. There is a network of “genbrug” (recycling) stations all over all over the country, where people can leave stuff they don’t want and other people...
How to Live in Denmark on the Road: The Tunnel to Germany
September 26, 2021 17:05 - 6 minutes - 9.47 MBGetting to Sweden from Copenhagen is easy: you take a quick trip across the Øresund Bridge in your car or on the train. Getting to Norway from Copenhagen isn’t too hard: there’s a ferry that runs every day from Nordhavn. Getting to Germany from Copenhagen, on the other hand, is a headache. But in 2029, a new direct tunnel will open between Denmark and Germany. The Danes are building it with very little help from the Germans, who originally weren't too interested in a tunnel that went throu...
On the Road: The Tunnel to Germany
September 26, 2021 17:05 - 6 minutes - 9.47 MBGetting to Sweden from Copenhagen is easy: you take a quick trip across the Øresund Bridge in your car or on the train. Getting to Norway from Copenhagen isn’t too hard: there’s a ferry that runs every day from Nordhavn. Getting to Germany from Copenhagen, on the other hand, is a headache. But in 2029, a new direct tunnel will open between Denmark and Germany. The Danes are building it with very little help from the Germans, who originally weren't too interested in a tunnel that went throu...
On the Road: Riding Copenhagen's big yellow "Harbor Bus" ferry
August 08, 2021 18:26 - 18 minutes - 24.9 MBOne of Denmark’s cheapest and most colorful vacations is a few hours riding back and forth on Copenhagen’s big yellow Harbor Bus, or “Havnebussen”, a commuter ferry designed to transport ordinary citizens between downtown and the urban islands of Christianshavn and Amager. For visitors to Copenhagen - or residents who need an inexpensive adventure - the harbor bus can take you from tourist trap to high culture to party culture, from shabby little wood shacks to neighborhoods of chic glass ...
On the Road in Denmark: Esbjerg, Ribe, and Fanø
May 19, 2021 13:36 - 6 minutes - 9.29 MBWhen I mentioned going to Esbjerg for a few days off this spring, many of my friends in Copenhagen said - why? Esbjerg doesn’t have a reputation as a vacation spot, even though its fifth-largest city in Denmark and the youngest big city. For Copenhagen snobs, Esbjerg is a fishing town, which it was 50 years ago but isn’t really anymore. It’s an oil and wind energy town, industrial but very modern. I like Esbjerg, perhaps because it is a very masculine town. If you’re a woman who likes m...
Saving money in Denmark: How to get around for less
April 26, 2021 12:30 - 7 minutes - 10.3 MBNo matter what the tourist brochures suggest, you probably won’t go *everywhere* on a bike in Denmark. And along with food and housing, getting around is a big part of the cost of living in Denmark. Here are a few tips to save money on trains, buses, cars, and even bike maintenance.
Saving money on food in Denmark
March 24, 2021 17:20 - 8 minutes - 12 MBAnyone who has spent time living in Denmark knows that it’s one of the most expensive countries around. That’s true when it comes to food shopping, too. One Dane who had lived in the US explained it this way: “In Denmark, every supermarket is priced like Whole Foods.” For those of you who haven’t visited the States, Whole Foods is a high-end grocery chain nicknamed “Whole Wallet” or “Whole Paycheck.” But there are a few creative ways to save money on food in Denmark. Danes hate food ...
Books about Denmark from the second hand store
February 27, 2021 06:56 - 6 minutes - 9.01 MBI love old books. I love the kind of old books you get at antique bookstores or on the Internet Archive. And I have a good collection of old books about Denmark. I like old travel guides, most of which are still pretty useful because Denmark doesn’t tear a lot of things down the way they do, in say, Los Angeles or Hong Kong. In Denmark you’ll pretty much fine most castles and monuments right where somebody left them hundreds of years ago. If you want to see a famous church or square or ...
Practical tips for moving to Denmark
February 21, 2021 11:00 - 6 minutes - 8.69 MBWhile I’m not an authority on the Danish visa or immigration systems, I’m often asked for practical tips about moving to Denmark. So here are a few things to think about when you’re packing your suitcases or, if you’re doing a corporate move, packing your shipping container. Number one, make sure you bring money. Denmark is an expensive place to live where you will own less stuff, but better stuff. That said, there’s no need to bring much furniture, even mores if your furniture is nothin...
Gender equality in Denmark
February 13, 2021 11:00 - 5 minutes - 6.96 MBDenmark has had two female prime ministers and about forty percent of the people elected to the Folketing, the Danish Parliament, are women. But when it comes to private industry, Danish women have one of the lowest participation rates in management in Europe. According to the OECD, only 26.5% of managers in Denmark are female, compared to 39.8% in the US. It’s not unusual to see a senior management team made up entirely of Danish males, with perhaps a Swedish or German male thrown in f...
Danish beaches in winter
February 10, 2021 14:59 - 3 minutes - 4.96 MBIt might seem like a counterintuitive time to talk about beaches, in the middle of a long, very cold winter. But in these times of COVID, beaches are one of the few places in Denmark you are currently allowed to meet up with family and friends. Beaches, parks, frozen-over lakes: these are the big social meeting points at time when cafés, restaurants, bars, shops, gyms, schools, theaters, museums, places of worship, and hairdressers, barbers, and nail salons are all closed. But getting...
Driving in Denmark
February 06, 2021 11:00 - 4 minutes - 5.89 MBI like to drive. I like to be on the open road, like in the American Southwest - Arizona, Nevada, Utah. Put your pedal to the metal, no one in front of you, no one in the rear view mirror. Just you and the road. You will not get that experience much in Denmark, a small country with a lot of people packed into a small area. There’s not a lot of open land here, not much living off the grid. Which doesn’t mean drivers don’t long for it. You’ll see those open roads in Arizona and Nevada in a l...
Dining in Denmark: From crispy fried pork to flower juice with champagne
January 30, 2021 16:46 - 5 minutes - 9.98 MBWhen visiting Denmark, you’ll be offered Danish food, and expressing enthusiasm for it will go a long way towards generating harmony with your Danish friends. The good news is, Danish cuisine offers something for everyone. If you’re a carnivore, don’t miss the Danish pork dishes, particularly "flæskesteg". That’s a crispy, fatty fried pork that’s the official national food. For people who prefer fish, there’s a great selection in this country surrounded by water. Curried herring and f...
Denmark and the Coronavirus Summer
July 13, 2020 07:01 - 5 minutes - 10.7 MBIt’s a funny kind of summer this year in Copenhagen, quieter than usual, and more like a family event than a cosmopolitan city. Coronavirus came early to Denmark, the borders were shut down early, but they’re mostly open now to other Europeans. But the change came too late for many people to make summer vacation plans, so many of the usual tourist attractions are slightly forlorn. There are a few Europeans around the Little Mermaid and the Royal Palaces, but not many. And there are no...
Animals and Denmark: Swans, pigs, and horses
May 08, 2020 15:08 - 7 minutes - 13.2 MBAmong the many cultural questions I ask audiences during my How to Live in Denmark Game Show is “Which animal represents Denmark best?”? There never seems to be an obvious or generally agreed-upon answer. Sure, the bear represents Russia, the elephant Thailand, and the bald eagle the United States. But what about Denmark? Denmark does have a national animal – the mute swan (Cygnus olor) – but an image of a swan doesn’t provoke the kind of immediate association with Denmark that, say, a k...
The Danish Alcohol Culture
March 17, 2020 07:13 - 8 minutes - 14.7 MBAlcohol has a long history in Denmark. The Vikings brewed four types of beverages: ale, mead, fruit wine, and syra, a fermented milk – and for many centuries Danish babies have eaten øllebrød, which is a mix of old bread scraps and beer. Fast forward a few centuries, and alcohol is still part of almost every Danish gathering. Early in 2020, the EU Commission reported that Denmark placed an unhappy first in Europe in binge drinking and that it was one of the reasons Danes have the shortes...
Debt in Denmark
January 22, 2020 14:45 - 6 minutes - 9.1 MBJanuary, February, and March are some of the dreariest months in Denmark – it’s dark, with no Christmas lights to pep it up – and many people are dealing with a heavy load of year-end debt from traveling, parties, dining out, and gifts. Along with religion, personal finance is a topic that is rarely discussed in Denmark. But the country has one of the highest rates of household debt in the world. And once you get into debt in Denmark, it can be very difficult to get out. Mortgages...
Making Danish friends: A few tips based on experience
December 01, 2019 11:00 - 7 minutes - 13.5 MBIf you’re newly arrived in Denmark, making Danish friends is not easy – in fact, surveys show that one of the main reasons internationals end up leaving is the difficulty of building a network. The irony is that Danes are actually very good at friendship. Their friendships are strong, reliable, and deep-rooted. Friends can count on each other. But because Danes take friendships so seriously, they like to keep their number of friendships under control. They don’t want to take on more frie...
Nudity in Denmark: The naked truth
November 02, 2019 11:00 - 5 minutes - 10 MBThe relaxed approach to nudity in Denmark can be a surprise for many newcomers. It’s something they’re often confronted with at the local swimming hall, where a very large and strong attendant insists that they take off their entire swimsuit and shower thoroughly before going into the pool. Stripping off in front of strangers is new for a lot of internationals, and some try to place it a larger context of Danish morality. It hasn’t been entirely forgotten that Denmark was the first cou...
Politeness in Denmark: Some thoughts on Danish etiquette
October 12, 2019 12:26 - 5 minutes - 10.1 MB“Is there politeness in Denmark?” That was the question I was recently invited on a national TV show to discuss. The implication was that I was supposed to say that Danes were not at all polite, because effusive praise and cheerful agreement make for a rather dull TV show. But Danes are not impolite. They have their own version of courteous behaviour, which is based on reinforcing aspects of their culture that they care about.
What I say when I'm welcoming newcomers to Denmark
September 01, 2019 16:53 - 7 minutes - 14.6 MBOne of my favorite types of speaking engagement is introducing Denmark to some of the smart, motivated young people arriving from around the world to study at Danish universities. Since the publication of my first book, How to Live in Denmark, I’ve been speaking regularly to audiences of new arrivals, and I probably learn as much from them as they learn from me. Among the things I’ve learned is that the aspects of Danish culture that the Danes are most proud of can be troublesome for new...
Summer Vacation in Denmark: The Agony and the Ecstasy
July 02, 2019 12:01 - 4 minutes - 8.49 MBPlanning your summer vacation in Denmark is like playing the lottery. You could hit it lucky, with golden days and long, warm evenings, when you can sit with friends in the soft light and drink hyldeblomst cocktails. Or you could get grey day after grey day, interspersed with a little rain whenever it is least convenient. The weather could be chilly, leaving your cute new summer clothes to sit disappointed in your closet while you wear your boring long trousers again and again. I find th...
April Fool's in Denmark, and the rough game of Danish humor
March 31, 2019 22:01 - 7 minutes - 13.1 MBApril 1st is April Fool’s Day – Aprilsnar in Danish – and each Danish newspaper will feature a clever but false story for the unwary to be fooled by. To some extent every day is April Fool’s Day in Denmark, because Danish humor is a rough humor. Danes show affection by making fun of each other. And, as an international, they might make fun of you too. This is a good thing: that means they have accepted you into the circle of Danishness. But it doesn’t mean that the intersection of non-...
Motivating Danish employees: Tips for Foreign Managers
March 03, 2019 11:00 - 6 minutes - 11.8 MBMotivating Danish employees is very different than motivating other groups of people because there are two big factors missing – hierarchy and fear. We don’t like to talk about the fear part in our various countries of origin, but the fact is true that in the US, UK, China, India, and in parts of Europe, someone who loses their job can be in a lot of trouble. They may have trouble paying their bills, might lose their house, might not have access to health care, might not be able to send t...
The sound of Denmark? Quiet. Very quiet
February 07, 2019 07:09 - 6 minutes - 12.7 MBDenmark is a quiet country, even within the cities. Especially this time of year, February, when it’s too cold to do anything but scurry from place to place, when the street cafés are closed and no one wants to eat their lunch in the park. The Danes are hibernating in their homes until the spring. And especially when a blanket of snow covers the cities and countryside. Then everything around you will be beautifully, peacefully, totally quiet. This Danish quiet can freak out a lot of inte...
Tips for Living with a Danish Family
January 09, 2019 09:17 - 7 minutes - 14.5 MBAs the new academic semester starts up, some of you may be planning to live in a Danish home. It could be you’ll rent a room in a household, maybe you’ll be part of a Danish host family, or maybe you’ll just be staying with Danish friends. I thought it might be useful to have some tips on living with a Danish family. First of all, if you’re used to having your parents or domestic workers do most of the household chores – things are about to change. Danish families generally don’t have ...
Alone for the holidays: What to do for Christmas in Denmark when you're on your own
December 15, 2018 07:50 - 7 minutes - 13.1 MBBeing alone for Christmas in Denmark can be tough – one of the downsides of Danish "hygge" is that people who are not inside the "hygge" circle can feel shut out and very alone. Here are our tips for having a good holiday anyway.
Christmas gift giving in Denmark: Package games, Almond Gifts, and Why It's OK to Exchange Whatever You Get
December 02, 2018 18:47 - 8 minutes - 14.7 MBLike so many other aspects of life in Denmark, gift giving in the holiday season comes with dozens of unwritten rules and unspoken expectations. Should you give a gift to your boss? What about your colleagues? Will you and your Danish friends exchange gifts? And why does almost every store in Denmark ask if you want a “gift sticker” when you buy something? Here are a few basic tips about gift giving in Denmark.
Autumn in Denmark: The slow fading of the light
September 21, 2018 06:30 - 5 minutes - 10.9 MBAutumn in Denmark actually starts in mid-August, when the kids go back to school. Danish kids have a very short holiday – usually only about 6 weeks. By late August, you can definitely feel a little fall crispness in the air. By September the leaves start to turn color, and by the end of October many of the trees are already bare for the winter. But what really defines fall in Denmark is the slow fading of the light.