Hops and Box Office Flops
234 episodes - English - Latest episode: 25 days ago - ★★★★★ - 20 ratingsA film podcast dedicated to the underdogs — the disasters, the bombs, the much maligned! So sit back, grab a beer, and enjoy!
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Episodes
Chopping Mall – Slashing Prices and Trespassing Teens
October 08, 2019 13:00 - 1 hour - 84.6 MBThe 1980s were chock full of formulaic horror fare. Many of those involved horny teenagers with questionable morals getting slaughtered by a larger than life antagonist. In that sense, Chopping Mall is not all that unique. The set up: Moronic young adults gather at a mall after hours to engage in youthful frivolity. Unfortunately for them, a lightning storm causes a power surge, frying the mainframes of the mall’s new crack security squad and turning them into Killbots. Sex, alcohol, panic,...
Masters of the Universe – Fried Chicken, a Strip Mall, and a Distinct Lack of Eternia
October 01, 2019 13:00 - 1 hour - 104 MBThere was a time in the 1980s when He-Man and the Masters of the Universe line reigned atop the mountain of kids' toys. Its massive success made this film's production a no-brainer. It was meant to capitalize on the popularity of those figures, as well as the the cartoon series. But it was too late; by the time it was released in 1987, the fervor for He-Man and his heroic, scantily clad exploits had waned, another victim of over supply and diminishing demand. It did not help that his huge ...
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle III – A Not So Tubular Trip through Time
September 18, 2019 13:00 - 1 hour - 108 MBIn the 1980s and into the 90s, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were a legitimate phenomenon. Based on a comic of the same name, the immense popularity of the "Heroes in a Half Shell" would spawn countless action figures, a cartoon series (that ran for 10 seasons!), a concert tour/album, a live-action television show, and, of course, big screen movies. If that sounds like the over-commercialization of something, well, that's because it was. By the time Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III hit s...
Transformers: The Movie – Sub-"Optimus" Receipts
September 11, 2019 00:00 - 1 hour - 125 MBTransformers: The Movie is an interesting study. It's undeniably a flop. Finishing 14th in its opening weekend—behind About Last Night, which was in its sixth week of release—it barely cracked the top-100 for 1986. Carrying a $6 million price tag, its cost was six times greater than the budget used to create 90 minutes of the regular cartoon series. Expectations were clearly high, which is what makes its decision to kill the bulk of the primary characters from the series so odd. Sure, it i...
Superman Returns – A Failure to Launch
August 27, 2019 13:00 - 1 hour - 121 MBNineteen years. That's how long it took for Superman to triumphantly come back to theaters. Yet just as quickly as he flew onto the screen, he was gone faster than a speeding bullet—a victim of low receipts and a distinct lack of enthusiasm for this movie's ponderous take on the "Big Blue Boy Scout." Though decently reviewed—75% on Rotten Tomatoes with a Metascore of 72—and laden with talent (a portion of it admittedly troubled, even if we didn't quite know it at the time), Superman Return...
Part Two of Our Top-10 Films in the MCU Countdown
August 20, 2019 13:00 - 1 hour - 121 MBAfter 11 years, 23 movies, $22.5 billion dollars in global box office (the high being Endgame with $2.7 billion and the low being angsty Incredible Hulk with $263.4 million), the first major arc of the MCU has come to an end. The Infinity Saga brought us many superhero highs and created an integrated cinematic universe that none of us ever dreamed was possible. Thus, we knew we had to assemble to discuss Marvel's incredible achievement. Harnessing the power of the mind stone, we whittled 23...
Part One of Our Top-10 Films in the MCU Countdown
August 14, 2019 13:00 - 1 hour - 87.5 MBAfter 11 years, 23 movies, $22.5 billion dollars in global box office (the high being Endgame with $2.7 billion and the low being angsty Incredible Hulk with $263.4 million), the first major arc of the MCU has come to an end. The Infinity Saga brought us many superhero highs and created an integrated cinematic universe that none of us ever dreamed was possible. Thus, we knew we had to assemble to discuss Marvel's incredible achievement. Harnessing the power of the mind stone, we whittled 23...
John Carter – A Box Office Blunder of Red Planet-Sized Proportions
August 07, 2019 13:00 - 1 hour - 118 MB“This is one of the worst marketing campaigns in the history of movies. It’s almost as if they went out of their way to not make us care.” Those words, quoted to Vulture by a former studio marketing chief just prior to John Carter's 2012 release, are harsh. But, in truth, they epitomize where the problems originated for this big budget bomb. From its initial teaser onward, Disney was never able to propel the anticipation for this film to the lofty aerial heights of its titular character. Tr...
Hellboy – Chock-Full of Gobs of Gore, But Not Much Else
July 30, 2019 13:00 - 1 hour - 98 MBRebooting any film is tricky. Doing so barely a decade after the last iteration makes it more so. 2019's Hellboy is a prime example of "Why is this happening?" movie making. Both the original film (2004) and its sequel Hellboy II: The Golden Army (2008) were generally well liked by audiences and critics (81% and 86% respectively on Rotten Tomatoes with audiences scores of 66% and 71%). Were they overwhelmingly successful? Not exactly. That lack of financial boom made the prospect of Guiller...
2019 San Diego Comic Con
July 25, 2019 04:31 - 14 minutes - 19.4 MBWe went. We saw. We conquered! Well, sort of. Capt. Cash and I return with the briefest of brief recaps of this year's huge San Diego Comic Con (SDCC), the 50th anniversary of the convention. We offer our thoughts on Marvel's mic dropping Hall H, HBO's Watchmen trailer, and the new Amazon series The Boys, which is based on the comic of the same name! This episode, as I stated, is not in depth, but fear not, listeners; we will return with our next episode, Hellboy (2019), in short order. D...
Godzilla: King of the Monsters – Headed for Hibernation?
July 16, 2019 13:00 - 1 hour - 108 MBIf there is one thing that the MCU can be blamed for, it's the rush to build a movie universe. DC tried, mostly failed, and had to soft reset; Universal's monsters went back into the vault only one film in; and now, sadly, Godzilla: King of the Monsters may have taken this burgeoning franchise down that same path. Unlike its 2014 predecessor, which was heavily criticized for its reluctance to show the titular monster, King of the Monsters doesn't only double down, it essentially quintuples ...
Starship Troopers – Good Old Fashioned Fascist Fun
July 07, 2019 13:00 - 1 hour - 121 MBSummer is known for popcorn entertainment, boasting blockbuster films that are meant to be enjoyed with little thought about their message or theme. Starship Troopers is not one of those films. Though it was billed as a straight forward, science fiction action shoot-em-up (just watch the trailer)—and it certainly works as one—Starship Troopers is much more. It's an evocative take on the dangers of a society fueled by war and a populace indoctrinated by powerful, omnipresent propaganda. Dire...
X-Men: Dark Phoenix – A Beloved Series Goes Up in Flames
June 25, 2019 13:00 - 1 hour - 117 MBIn 2000, 20th Century Fox’s original X-Men hit theaters. It wasn’t necessarily the only catalyst in the comic book movie boom to come, but it was an important one. It was a proof of concept and demonstrated that as a medium, comic books could translate well to film. 19 years and 11 films later, Fox’s X-Men series has finally come to an end. Its sendoff—X-Men: Dark Phoenix. Like its titular character, Dark Phoenix is a stark turn for the franchise both in quality and in financial receipts. A...
The 13th Warrior – Twelve Norsemen and a Spaniard
June 13, 2019 18:00 - 1 hour - 106 MBTis' the season of big budget movies. The time when theaters play host to all manner of spectacle—featuring films that cost a boatload, but make more in one week than many do in a year. The 13th Warrior is not one of those films. Well, it is and it isn't Costing over $160 million dollars—a result of extended reshoots and compulsive tinkering—it grossed only $61 million worldwide, earning it the dubious distinction of being one of the worst flops in box office history. Based on a Michael Cr...
Can't Hardly Wait – A Love Burger with a Side of 90s Nostalgia
June 06, 2019 13:00 - 1 hour - 96.9 MBIt’s fitting we end our “Coming-of-Age” month of movies with Can’t Hardly Wait. In every sense of the term, it is a teen cult classic. Oozing with 90s nostalgia, its setting will feel familiar to anyone who grew up in that highly confused and musically challenged decade. More important, it’s just a heck of a lot of fun. Featuring Jennifer Love Hewitt—who was at the peak of her stardom—an instantly relatable Ethan Embry (Capt. Cash's high school doppelgänger), a dynamo performance from Charl...
She's All That – She May Be All That, But the Plot is Not
May 30, 2019 13:00 - 1 hour - 117 MBFrom roughly 1997 to 2002, Freddie Prinze, Jr. was a legitimate thing. The peak of that thing, in terms of overall success and his place in the billing, was She's All That, an overtly misogynistic tale of a popular, athletic guy who falls for a not-so popular, nerdy girl. She wears glasses; he wears a letterman's jacket. She enjoys art; he frets about actually getting accepted to great colleges (no, really). That is the depth of this dichotomy. The catch: He only falls for her after betting...
The Series Finale of Game of Thrones – I Drink and He Knows Things
May 21, 2019 04:52 - 39 minutes - 54.2 MBCaution: This brief podcast is dark and full of spoilers. Capt. Cash and I (@Writer: TLK) return for a solemn look at the final episode of Game of Thrones, The Iron Throne. We offer our overall impressions, as well as share our favorite episodes and characters. We also shed light on the things we found to be disappointing as we say goodbye for the last time. Though this season may have underwhelmed, we both agree that this was a tremendous, groundbreaking series, and we will miss it dearly....
Take Me Home Tonight – Crank the Wayback Playback for a Totally Awesome Trip to the 80s
May 17, 2019 13:00 - 1 hour - 98.1 MBIf you would, take a trip with Wolfgang MacLeod and myself (@WriterTLK). Where are we headed? To the magical, whimsical, and musically fantastic era known as the 1980s! Take Me Home Tonight is a tale primarily centered around a guy's last chance to find love with the girl he pined over in high school, but it's also about growing up. Listen, I know. "Coming-of-Age" movies are not exactly unique. The angst of our teenage years is something that is instantly relatable to a great percentage of ...
Episode 5 of Game of Thrones' Final Season – I Drink and He Knows Things
May 16, 2019 03:52 - 36 minutes - 49.6 MBCaution: This brief podcast is dark and full of spoilers. Capt. Cash and I (@Writer: TLK) break down The Bells, the penultimate episode of Game of Thrones‘ final season and perhaps its most controversial one. We offer our overall impressions, pose lingering questions we may have, and speculate on what should be an absolutely bonkers finale. "Fire is the champion of House Targaryen..." Enjoy the show? Check out all of my reviews for the episodes so far. Episode 1 – The Dragon and the Wolf ...
Episodes 3 & 4 of Game of Thrones' Final Season – I Drink and He Knows Things
May 08, 2019 04:06 - 34 minutes - 47.6 MBCaution: This brief podcast is dark and full of spoilers. Capt. Cash and I (@Writer: TLK) break down the third (The Long Night) and fourth (The Last of the Starks) episodes of Game of Thrones‘ final season, offering our overall impressions, posing lingering questions we may have, and speculating wildly on what’s to come. Enjoy the show? Check out all of my reviews for the episodes so far. Episode 1 – The Dragon and the Wolf Episode 2 – A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms Episode 3 – The Long...
Mortal Kombat: Annihilation – A Koin-Op Kalamity
April 30, 2019 16:47 - 1 hour - 115 MBFor years, Hollywood has struggled in vain to crack the code of translating popular video games to film. Most simply have not worked at all. Worse, they’ve also failed to pay their due respect to the property that inspired them. Neither Mortal Kombat movie has that issue. The first—which is vastly superior, even if it does have its own set of problems—represented the game in a way that most felt was fair. It was less violent, to be sure, but there was almost not way it wouldn’t be. The foll...
Episode 2 of Game of Thrones' Final Season – I Drink and He Knows Things
April 25, 2019 20:07 - 32 minutes - 44.2 MBEach week, Capt. Cash and I (@WriterTLK) will convene to unite the Seven Kingdoms, breaking down each episode of Game of Thrones' final season. In our kickoff episode (because the one covering the premiere of the season warged into another internet somewhere), we tackle A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms, offering our impressions of the episode, posing lingering questions we may have, and speculating wildly on what's to come. Some topics we covered: Our ongoing consternation over the mystery ...
Sudden Death – Absurdity Goes Into Overtime
April 19, 2019 21:03 - 1 hour - 99.9 MBIn 1988, Die Hard—a story of an off-duty cop tasked with seemingly insurmountable circumstances—was released to both commercial and critical acclaim. Though it featured a relative unknown (at the time) Bruce Willis, the film went on to gross over $140 million on a budget under $30. Aside from is wild success, its lasting impact was the template it set. It was an incredibly simple formula; and Hollywood execs—who are never afraid of running an idea into the ground—knew it. Thus, Die Hard cl...
Suburban Commando – Not Even Hulk Hogan Skateboarding in Zubaz Could Save This Movie
April 13, 2019 00:59 - 1 hour - 113 MBFew wrestlers have transcended the sport of professional wrestling. Sure, you've got the Rock and Batista now, but during the 80s, the business was still an oddity. It was a culture within itself. Then came the boom of the World Wrestling Federation (now WWE). Their rise was a swift one, but it could not have come without stars. And in the 80s—even into the late 90s—there was no bigger star than Hulk Hogan. In the early 80s, Hogan had appeared in the box office behemoth Rocky III as "Thunde...
Major League II – There’s a Mediocre Moon Rising on the Cuyahoga River
April 05, 2019 20:13 - 1 hour - 129 MBMajor League II is not a terrible movie. It certainly is a derivative one, though. It never really has its own story to tell. The plucky and charismatic underdogs from the first film return, mostly, but their journey here has nothing to say. They stink, and it’s up to Jake Taylor—in a managerial role this time—to figure out why. For a team that is only a year removed from advancing to the American League Championship Series (ALCS), their struggles never feel earned. And the fact that their ...
Batman & Robin – The Iceman Cometh! But Not for the Box Office Receipts
March 30, 2019 05:53 - 1 hour - 133 MBIn 1995, a revamped and reformatted Batman made his comeback to the big screen in Batman Forever, a film that presented a stark contrast to the grim Gotham of Tim Burton’s Batman and Batman Returns. It was a campier—and certainly more kid friendly—take on the “Caped Crusader.” That, in and of itself, means almost nothing. What mattered was the movie was a huge hit, grossing over $184 million at the domestic box office and besting the diminishing profits of Returns. Thus, the natural course w...
The Last Stand – A New Sheriff's in Town, But It Ain't Arnold
March 22, 2019 05:21 - 1 hour - 107 MBFrom 2003 to 2011, the action world mourned. The King—Conan, John Matrix, the T-800—had officially relinquished his crown. The fabled Terminator had transitioned to Governator. Instead of hunting down Sarah Connor with no remorse or reservations, he was balancing budgets and removing soda pop from school vending machines. In the halls of my house, those were dark days. A cinema landscape sans-the hulking presence of Arnold Schwarzenegger was not one I wanted to experience. But then, he retu...
Part Two of the Epic Science Fiction/Fantasy Film March Madness Showdown
March 18, 2019 14:43 - 1 hour - 118 MBEvery March, there is a basketball tournament that I never watch. To celebrate said tournament, I—the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK)—and a special guest co-host filled out i09's Best Sci-Fi/Fantasy film of the last decade bracket. Going matchup by matchup, we broke down who we chose and why, eventually crowning an overall winner per region. In this episode—the second of two—we discussed the right side of the bracket (the number one seeds were Arrival and Attack the Block). We also dove into...
Part One of the Epic Science Fiction/Fantasy Film March Madness Showdown
March 17, 2019 21:45 - 1 hour - 124 MBEvery March, there is a basketball tournament that I never watch. To celebrate said tournament, I—the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK)—and a special guest co-host filled out i09's Best Sci-Fi/Fantasy film of the last decade bracket. Going matchup by matchup, we broke down who we chose and why, eventually crowning an overall winner per region. In this episode—the first of two—we discussed the left side of the bracket (the number one seeds were Mad Max: Fury Road and Edge of Tomorrow). Upsets...
Last Action Hero – The "Big Ticket" That Somehow Sold No Tickets in '93
March 09, 2019 00:38 - 1 hour - 129 MBIt’s #ArnoldActionMonth and were starting things off with a bang by bringing out the “big gun”—Last Action Hero! With the combined talents of John McTiernan (the director of Die Hard and Predator), Arnold Schwarzenegger (perhaps the biggest star on the planet after Terminator 2), and Shane Black (the writer of classics like Lethal Weapon and The Monster Squad), what could possibly go wrong? Turns out, for Last Action Hero, quite a bit. A movie born from two writers geeky admiration for the...
The Perfect Weapon – This Pod is Gettin' Kinda Hectic
February 25, 2019 21:10 - 1 hour - 125 MBThe 1980s and 90s were littered with action vehicles. Each was meant to serve as a springboard for a multitude of stars that never were. Jeff Speakman is the embodiment of that era. Thought to be a budding movie star in the making, the plans for his career quickly derailed; not before he graced us, though, with this classic of all things Kenpo Karate — The Perfect Weapon. Akin to most of the action films of this era, it’s more brawn and less brains. As a viewer, that’s great; we’re in it fo...
It's Podcastin' Time: An Investigation of the Fantastic Four Movie That Never Was
February 19, 2019 19:33 - 2 hours - 180 MBThe tragic tale behind the making of Roger Corman’s The Fantastic Four is one that truly must be seen and heard to be believed. A finished product—fully shot, edited, and cut—abandoned to the scrap heap. But why? Well, a few reasons actually. For starters, the film itself was just a bargaining chip—a way for a production house to extend its creative license on what could potentially be a lucrative property. It was also seen by some as a probable franchise killer—a film whose suspect quality ...
Ready to Rumble – This Pod Will Rule You!
February 08, 2019 05:33 - 1 hour - 107 MBIn our second episode, my co-host and I grapple with the much-maligned big time wrasslin’ extravaganza Ready to Rumble, starring David Arquette, Scott Caan, and a host of late 90s wrestling superstars. If you’ve ever wondered why WCW went belly up, look no further. This movie is illustrative of WCW's fading star. From its tone-deaf humor to its utter disdain for sports entertainment and its fans, there are reasons abound demonstrating why this was a bomb and failed to again ingratiate the co...
The Altogether Strange Journey through the Making of the Island of Dr. Moreau
January 22, 2019 02:17 - 34 minutes - 47.6 MBWhat exactly went wrong with this film? In short: everything. Yet that succinct explanation is not enough. There are too many stories behind the miserable experience of shooting this movie. So not only do I cover the film itself, but also the documentary about this monumental failure — Lost Soul: The Doomed Journey of Richard Stanley's Island of Dr. Moreau. So sit back and grab a beer! The truth of all the on-set drama is indeed stranger than the fiction.