超濃縮！やさしい英語会話 (9) Stay Foolish ...?

Download MP3



８月の５週間は、恒例の「超濃縮！やさしい英語会話」です。この８年間に配信した259本の「やさしい英語会話」よりエピソードを厳選し、毎回４本分を濃縮してお届けします。ナチュラルスピードの会話をスクリプトとともにお楽しみください。



今回は"Stay Foolish ... ?"をテーマに、この1年間にお届けした中から、ちょっと常識ではあり得ない行動に出る人々の登場する会話を４本選びました。かれらのあまりに「ぶっ飛んだ」言動に、夏の暑さも吹き飛ぶかも…!?



（初級〜中級）The Excitement of a Zoo



M: Finally, we made it to the zoo! I wanna go see the T-Rex exhibit first!



W: Robbie, how many times do I have to tell you: dinosaurs went extinct millions of years ago. There're no T-Rexes in the zoos.



M: And how many times do I have to tell YOU that that's just a government conspiracy fabricated to keep people from using dinosaurs as weapons.



W: (Puts her palm over her face and sighs) OK, Robbie, OK. I believe you. Just stop talking about it already. I actually wanted to enjoy this trip to the zoo, and you're making that pretty difficult.



M: Hey look! Lions!



(Robbie grabs Regina's hand and makes a dash for the lion enclosure.)



M: Wow! Lions are awesome!



W: (giggling) I'm glad to see you've taken interest in an animal that actual exists.



M: I always wished I could've been raised by lions. Living in the mountains, living off nothing but the flesh and blood of rhinos!



W: Um, I don't think that's where or how lions live, Robbie. (Regina looks down at her phone to distract herself from how badly this date is going. Regina then looks up.)



W: Hey Robbie what do you think of--. (Robbie is no where to be found.)



W: Robbie? Robbie?! Where are you?



(A few seconds later)



M: I'm over here, Regina!



(Regina looks over to see Robbie cuddling with one of the lions within the enclosure.)



W: WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THE LION ENCLOSURE ROBBIE!? THATS SUPER DANGEROUS!



M: Just following my heart Regina, just following my heart.



(Written by David Shaner)





A Halloween Prank



Situation: It's Halloween and Robert and Carla are setting up for their annual Halloween party.



W: And... done! The hallway decorations are done. This is gonna be the best Halloween party yet!



M: Yeah, I totally agree. And this year's prank is gonna be twice as spooky as last year's!



W: Hey, wait, wait, wait.... you're gonna do a prank AGAIN this year?



(Robert is drilling holes in the ceiling, and is setting up some strange thing.)



M: Well, yeah. You can't have Halloween without spooky surprises!



W: Just so I'm clear: this whole prank thing isn't gonna end up like last year's, when Lenny was hospitalized for 3 months, is it?



M: Of course not.



W: Good.



M: Yeah, I've stepped up my game from last year. Look: when the guests walk in the door, they'll trip this switch, which deploys a can of pepper spray! The can of pepper spray will spray them in their eyes, rendering them unable to see. Then, I turn off the lights and beat them up with this baseball bat!



W: OK. There are TWO huge problems with this "prank". First, why turn off the lights if they already can't see because of the pepper spray? Second, how is blinding someone and then beating them with a bat a Halloween prank?? Sounds like something you'd do to your worst enemy!



M: Oh, whatever. Someone like you could never understand. You never did have a good sense of humor with these things!



W: That's because someone always ends up seriously hurt and/or permanently disfigured! In fact, how are you not in jail yet?



M: Well, it might have something to do with the fact that I'm 12?



W: Oh, yeah!



(Written by David Shaner)





Special Medicine



M: Alright Kimmy. I drove you to this pharmacy store. Can I go home now?



W: Ha Ha Ha! Don't make me laugh! You thought that was the end of your duty? That was merely the first phase!



M: I don't like where this is going. Is this another one of your crazy schemes?



W: Hey, if you didn't want to help me with this, you shouldn't have volunteered! You're gonna have to see my plan to its end!



M: Volunteered? I volunteered because you told me we were going to go help your hot sister move into her new apartment. I didn't volunteer to get myself arrested, which is definitely going to be the result if this is anything like your other schemes.



W: You have too little faith in me. We only get arrested if we get caught!



M: So, this IS illegal then?!



W: Just let me do all the talking.



(Mark and Kimmy walk up to the pharmacy counter.)



W: Hello! My name is Kimmy and this is my severely mentally impaired brother, Keith. We would like some very expensive medications so he can get better.



M: (whispering) Mentally impaired? What're you talking about?



W: (whispering) Just go with it... If we get these drugs for your "condition", we can sell them for twice the price or more on the black market!



Pharmacist: Do you have a prescription or doctor's note with you?



W: Ahem... Um, no we don't. But can't you just see how mentally impaired he is? Isn't that enough to warrant the medication?



Pharmacist: Without a prescription, I can't do anything for you.



W: (whispering) Mark, you're not selling this well at all, you've gotta at least try to act the part!



M: This is ridiculous, Kimmy. I'm going home. If your hot sister ever DOES actually need help moving in, you know where to find me!



W: Ah! Mark, you ruined everything!



(Written by David Shaner)





Fire Alarm

Situation: Troy and Amanda are hanging out in a dark corner of their local library.



W: So, I was, like, "It's totally YOUR fault, Christie, because Johnny Ferrerie would've never kissed Suzie unless Kathie Davis had been... (Troy cuts off Amanda)



M: Yo-- hold that thought! Check out this fire alarm over here!



W: What? You're not actually considering pulling a fire alarm in a public library, are you? The sprinklers will go off and it'll ruin my hair!



M: Think of it this way: if I pull this fire alarm, everyone in here is gonna get soaking wet. Ha ha ha... (Troy has a mischievous smile)



W: Yeah, exactly! Meaning: my hair and my new Louis Vuitton bag will both be ruined!



M: Amanda, think about it. EVERYONE in here will be soaking wet! That includes the girls! The combination of water and a white shirt really suits a girl in a situation like this, if you know what I mean. (Starts laughing)



W: Oh my gosh, Troy, you're such a pervert!



M: Genius? Yes. Inventive? Yes. Pervert? No way. Um... watch this!



(Troy puts his hand on the alarm, poised to pull it.)



W: Hey! You better not!



M: Come to me, my drenched vixens!



(Troy pulls the alarm and everyone in the library starts screaming as tons of water fall upon them.)



(Written by David Shaner)