#51 - 3 Minute Thursday: Kids & Happiness

Welcome to our new segment, "Three Minute Thursdays" where I highlight a piece of wisdom I’ve come across from my own readings over the past week, or share with you an inspirational anecdote that can help you lead a more calm, free and full life.

This week a very thoughtful, friend of mine, a mom like me with two young kids here in the bay area, shared an IG post from a company called Little Renegades that sells products to help children cultivate mindfulness. The post had a graphic on it which read “I want my kids to be happy” but “to be happy” was crossed out. In its place it read “to feel comfortable experiencing all kinds of emotions without judgement”.

The post went on to say that we often times inadvertently emphasize happiness, not just with our kids, but with ourselves, not realizing that sustainable joy – long term joy doesn’t come from chasing happiness. In Buddhist philosophy it is taught that happiness comes not from pursuing it, but instead from understanding that feelings - good and bad – come and go. That’s simply the nature of our existence. Ups and downs come and go. Nothing stays. Nothing is permanent. So instead of asking your child “did you have a good day?” which wires their brains to think “good” is something to covet and bad is something to avoid, you can say “tell me about your day” which de-emphasizes the importance of the fleeting feeling of happiness and instead creates an opportunity for your child to freely accept and welcome the highs and lows of their day.

By teaching ourselves and our kids that we aren’t our feelings…and to accept people and experiences as they are without judgement...we lay out the best path to cultivating joy that actually does last. 

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For more from Host Pooja Mottl:  www.PoojaMottl.com

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Special Thanks to Kris Kosach of the TPR Podcast for lending her VO for our Podcast Intro!