45 | Betrayal, Broken Promises, and the Real Reason You're Sabotaging

If you are a woman who has a deep desire for more wealth, more fulfillment and more impact but you are standing in your own way. This show is for you.

For far too long, I felt like I was a jaguar trapped in a domestic cats body...

Gourmet rocky road gelato stuck in a paper box of store brand vanilla...

I wanted so bad to run, spring, leap, climb mountains. Not walk the track.

I wanted to be seen and heard because I am sooo much more than that.

You are too.

You are more.

I see you.

I hear you.

I believe in you.

Today is not your normal episode. I’ve decided to press the pause button for a brief moment. Don’t worry, its only brief.

If this is the first time listening to the show, welcome! I am grateful you are here. There are  44 incredible episodes that are ready and waiting for you.

Her Fearless Hustle began in 2016, I started out solo – sharing with you my thoughts.

In 2017, I switched things up and began delivering weekly episodes (minus some off weeks because I’m human) I’ve been delivering you stories from entrepreneurial women who’ve been hand selected to share with you their experience with self-sabotage. They’ve pushed through and succeeded. They are making an impact and influencing the progression of women across the globe.

There are so many women I talk to that have bigger dreams and stick to playing it small because they are stuck sabotaging.

I really want to help change that.

My mission here is to empower more women to start living.

To stop hiding and start stepping into their power, or as I say at the beginning of the show, get in the driver's seat. 

I created HFH for women who have a desire for more yet they are stuck in self-doubt, they are second-guessing their decisions, seeking approval or permission…you name it.

To show women that, you are not alone and with the right tools and mentors, you can get out of that trap and fast. The truth is, I began HFH for not only for those women but for me too!

Self-sabotage is no joke. I remember telling a story of how my youngest daughter, Janae, closed the door to my room on evening and whispered, “good night mommy, I love you”.  So sweet it was. It was so beautiful, innocent and heartfelt. At that moment though, it tore my heart into millions of pieces.

Because I knew that I was continually letting my family down, letting my kids down.

I knew that I wasn’t stepping up to do what was required of me for my family.

I was breaking promises of a better life

For 11 years, I promised them a home with a yard and a dog or two

For 11 years, I promised things would be different

For 11 years, I promised mommy is working on it

For 11 years, I rode the self-sabotaging cycle, fearing that I would always be where I always was… broke and unhappy.

Deep down, I knew this was not the way my life was supposed to be.

I knew I was meant for more.

I knew I was meant to create an impact.

I knew I had what it takes. Wicked smart, driven and super passionate - I had everything I needed to make it happen for me, for us.

Why was I not allowing myself to do what is required of me for my family (after all, no one is coming to save us…but me!)?

Because I was standing in my own way, sabotaging my own journey – many of us do

We stay stuck in cycles of self-sabotage like self-doubt, procrastination, fear of failing, worrying what others think, second-guessing our decisions, seeking approval or permission, impostor syndrome…and when they get the best of us, they stop us in our tracks or turn us completely around in the opposite direction of our deepest desires. Its life sucking, soul crushing and IT HURTS!

I discovered however, these behavioral and thought patterns stopping us in our tracks - they are not the problem. They are all symptoms.

The real problem is the relationship we have with ourselves.

We can say all the affirmations we want.

We can meditate every day.

Journal until our pen runs dry.

Those are great methods.

But, if you don’t know how to dig straight to the root of problem and release it, they will not help you.

What really needs to be done is deep, deep healing of the relationship we have with ourselves.

When you go back and reflect on previous episodes, you too will see a pattern. It all starts with you.

That's the good news! You’re in control!

Podcasting is something that I love!

It is so freeing putting together material for you, sharing empowering message. It is also something that is a bit lonely. Its not like Facebook/Instagram/Periscope/or even YouTube - where you build a following and gain interaction with your audience. No, not at all. It’s a platform where you share an audible file and that’s that. Its out in the world. I don’t really know who is listening.

So…I need to hear from you. You can email me directly, [email protected], DM me on Facebookor Instagram.

Here is what I would like to learn from you…

What has been your favorite HFH episode?

What social media platform do you want to connect on? @crystallayland on Instagram and @crystallayland1 on Facebook. Do you want more solo episodes? Do you like those? If I were to record on Video and post on YouTube, would you tune in? Is there someone who you’d like to hear/learn from on the show? Am I asking the right questions for my guests? Are there questions I should Add? Drop?

If HFH has impacted you, if you’ve enjoyed the show, please leave a review.  http://bit.ly/herpodcast

I have some really big news…

I’m almost afraid to put it out in the world because then that would mean that I eliminated every option to back out (sabotage!) 

A second podcast is in the works.

In fact, I have 3 episodes ready to record – I am trying not rush things. I want to be super clear on the direction I’m heading. And the niche that I am shifting into is a sensitive one.

The work I do with my current clients helps them release pain from past experiences and deeply heal their relationships they have with themselves leading them to stop their sabotaging cycles and get out of their own way – I love the work I do! Many women need this but....

What I found, and felt drawn to is, much like my own story, many of the women who I had worked with had trouble clearing their emotional pain from an unfaithful partner – they were holding on to resentment, anger, sadness, and burying their emotions inside and moving forward each day as if it will dissolve on its own.

It was costing them emotionally, financially, physically and spiritually, affecting all areas of their life.

Over the past three months, I’ve been designing a transformational program that changes the way women bounce back after betrayal, heal from infidelity.

In addition to that program, I am producing a brand new podcast called Taking Back My Life

...where I will be teaching women, who’ve been betrayed, “how to heal emotional wounds, regain inner strength AND rediscover themselves so they can take back their power”.

If you would like to hop on a call with me and discuss what it would look like for you with further support, go to https://www.crystallayland.com/call

If you want to learn more about the podcast and be notified when its launched, drop in your email at https://www.crystallayland.com/tbml

That is all for today. I look forward to hearing from you. If you’re inspired and have a story to tell, I’d love to hear from you too and perhaps get you on the show.

I’ll be back next week with another interview.

Do your best today.