Happily Ever After (Without Children!)

Happily Ever After: Challenging the Fairy Tale Narrative

Hi! This is Shannon Vandermark and this is the Happily Ever After Without Children podcast. This is not a new full length episode, but instead an invitation to join me for a live webinar THIS TUESDAY 9 July, 2019 at 7:00pm London time / 2:00pm New York Time / 11:00am LA time. My topic follows the same theme of this podcast and the title is Happily Ever After: Challenging the Fairy Tale Narrative. The webinar will be live and you can anonymously ask questions at the end. This session is n...

Episode 16: Sheila and I Get Frank About Mother’s Day

Today is Mother’s Day in the UK. The chat you’re about to hear with my friend Sheila was actually recorded exactly one year ago on the sofa, in the lounge of my flat. It was the first interview I recorded for this podcast series, which was intentionally done on Mother’s Day. Sheila and I discuss where we are, in our journeys and how we have reclaimed Mother’s Day as a day we no longer feel we have to hide from.   Please e-mail with any comments, or if you have a story to tell yourself at re...

Episode 15: A Chat with Zarina Mahmood About Miscarriages, Unwanted Childlessness and Acceptance

Zarina is so articulate in her pain, so delicate with her words and so achingly honest, I was thinking to myself as I was listening to it just now, ‘why haven’t I put this episode out earlier’?  I owe Zarina a lot for saying things I couldn’t say and grabbing me and holding me close to her story, even though we had only just met.  I want to give you a head’s up that there are parts of this interview that might be difficult to hear.   Please e-mail with any comments, or if you have a story to...

Episode 14: A Chat With Greg Betzwieser About Childfree Freedoms, Self Healing and Being Brought Up Catholic

Most of my guests have tried to have their own children but have now made peace and found happiness in a life that does not involve their own children. My guest this week is Greg Betzweizer, half of the Greg and Kamra couple who are dear friends of my husband and mine. The four of us are usually laughing the entire time we are together and we definitely share quirky sensibilities, which I think comes through in our chat. Greg and Kamra’s decision to not have children was not always a straig...

Episode 13: A Chat With Jo Dale Ford About Living Childfree, Destiny and Finding The One

Here we are, at episode 13. Can you believe it? I am speaking with my friend Jo and if you haven’t listened to episode 12, in which I speak with Jo’s husband Al, I highly recommend you check that one out too. Jo and Al have an incredibly romantic story of how they got together, both living their lives and basically perfecting themselves for the moment when they would get together. Just by chance and circumstance and the fact that neither of them was willing to settle down with a partner who ...

Episode 12: A Chat With Al Ford About Childlessness, Sobriety, and Gratitude At Christmas

I recorded this interview with Al, a very close friend of both my husband and myself. I met Al when I moved over to London from Los Angeles, about 12 years ago and he immediately felt like family. Because Al was single at the time, he, Robin and I used to get together on a Sunday, watch a movie or an episode of Planet Earth, eat a massive roast dinner and drink our body weights in wine. Since then, Robin and I have gotten married and had our struggles with miscarriages, Al has lived in Hong ...

Episode 11: My Family Discusses Legacy at Thanksgiving

After my last episode, I didn’t have any immediate plans for which interview to broadcast next. I always had these interviews in my back pocket with my brother, mom and dad that I recorded two years ago when my family was last together for Thanksgiving. At that time, it was before the birth of the Happily Ever After podcast and I was desperately searching for the meaning of life without children. I started questioning the importance of legacy with anyone who would engage with me, because onc...

Episode 11: My Family Discusses Legacy at Thanksgiving

After my last episode, I didn’t have any immediate plans for which interview to broadcast next. I always had these interviews in my back pocket with my brother, mom and dad that I recorded two years ago when my family was last together for Thanksgiving. At that time, it was before the birth of the Happily Ever After podcast and I was desperately searching for the meaning of life without children. I started questioning the importance of legacy with anyone who would engage with me, because onc...

Episode 10: A Chat With Erika Bertling Covering Themes Related to Infertility, Grief, and October 15th, International Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day

This week I speak over the power of broadband, laptops and conferencing software to my dear friend Erika Bertling in Los Angeles, whom I have known for an astounding 20 years. We met when we were both travelling the world working on TV shows. Erika was an audio engineer and I was a story editor. Erika introduced me to the Oct 15th International Pregnancy and Infant Loss Day and never fails to let me know on this day every year in one way or another that she is thinking of me. So having her ...

Episode 9: A Chat With Jessica Hepburn Covering Themes Related to IVF, Infertility, Pregnancy Loss and Unwanted Childlessness

I met Jessica through the Fertility Fest; a festival for anyone exploring their fertility journeys. It is a place for both mothers in arms and mothers in their hearts and it is a space Jessica is hoping can be a nurturing environment for all women. We as women are stronger united than divided, and the “haves” and “have-nots” in the fertility community seem unavoidably separated, but they shouldn’t be. We discuss the philosophy behind the Fertility Fest but also Jessica’s endurance challenges...

Episode 8: A Chat With My Husband, Robin Covering Themes Such As Infertility, Pregnancy Loss and Unplanned Childlessness

Finally, I got a man to speak to me. Well, I convinced my husband Robin to get involved. There was a bit of bribery. I won’t lie. We had an honest conversation, which covered our years of trying for a baby and all of the things that make us happy now. Robin is a sound engineer and is the regularly unnamed support staff of one who helps me make all of the thingies work on the recording device and teaches me how to make it all sound even better by using audio editing software that he taught me...

Episode 7: An Interview With Brandi Lytle, Part 2. Overcoming The Grief of Infertility, Pregnancy Loss and Unwanted Childlessness

Episode seven. This week we are wrapping up the interview that I conducted with Brandi, blogger and generally inspiring lady with ten years of infertility struggles now behind her and the surprisingly rewarding childless not by choice life ahead of her. If you haven’t listened to episode six, in which we heard Brandi’s story, I suggest you listen to that first, so that you can get a sense of where Brandi is coming from.  Brandi lives in South Carolina and I in London, so I conducted the inte...

Episode 6: An Interview With Brandi Lytle, Part 1. Overcoming The Grief of Infertility, Pregnancy Loss and Unwanted Childlessness

Episode six, y’all. This week I am speaking to Brandi, who is an inspirational young lady, making lemonade out of lemons after ten years of battling with infertility. We recorded this interview through the marvellous internet, as Brandi is in South Carolina and I am in London. Brandi had so many great things to say about facing life without your own children and how to speak to someone you love who has struggled with infertility, that I decided to make this a two-parter.  This is part one.   

Episode 5: My Story. Overcoming The Grief of Infertility, Pregnancy Loss and Unwanted Childlessness

So, here we are at episode five. Today is an exciting day because my sister is being induced, pretty much as I speak and in only a few hours (hopefully!) I will have a new niece or nephew! She is all the way over in Kansas City and I am here in England and I wish I could be there to share this experience with her but it’s just not possible, due to work and the expense of travel. I will go out to visit in a month or so, so I will be counting the days until then. So perhaps my podcast should b...

Episode 4: Pam. Overcoming The Grief of Infertility, Pregnancy Loss and Unwanted Childlessness

This podcast is for anyone who doesn’t have children and for anyone who loves someone who doesn’t have children!   It is for those who have struggled to conceive but also for those who have woken up one day and realised it is a little bit too late. It is also for anyone triumphant in their decisions to never have children in the first place. Everyone holds a rightful place in this conversation. Everyone. And that means you too, guys!    My guest this week is Pam, who I met through a mutual...

Episode 3: A Chat With Sisters Sheila and Iovana. Overcoming The Grief of Infertility, Pregnancy Loss and Unwanted Childlessness

This podcast is for anyone who doesn’t have children and for anyone who loves someone who doesn’t have children!   It is for those who have struggled to conceive but also for those who have woken up one day and realised it is a little bit too late. It is also for anyone triumphant in their decisions to never have children in the first place. Everyone holds a rightful place in this conversation. Everyone. And that means you too, guys!    This episode featuring sisters Sheila and Iovana is p...

Episode 2: A Chat With Lief. Overcoming The Grief of Infertility, Pregnancy Loss and Unwanted Childlessness

I was fortunate to visit Lief in her seaside home.  Lief and I connected over the local support group I started and over the novel she has published called Flow, which addresses themes such as resilience, survival, pain and loss.    In Lief's words, "for years I battled with excruciating pain (endometriosis) and held on to the desire to fall pregnant.  Whilst on my journey, I kept looking for realistic, engaging, intelligent, unsentimental, non-happy-ending fiction on the subject. I never ...

Episode 1: Introduction Into Helping Yourself Overcome Infertility and Childlessness