114: Opposing & Shared Views of Grief - a Debate

When Melissa sat down to speak with Jon, what came out was not what she expected. But it was perfectly perfect.

Jon and Melissa have different perspectives on grief. While they find a middle ground during this conversation, their experiences and lessons from grief contrast with one another.

So this episode shows that it’s okay to have different views. You can still respect each other. And even on emotionally-charged topics like grief, love, finances, and life’s purpose - multiple truths can exist.

And while we can’t allow others to make us wrong, it’s important to take a step back from the idea of right and wrong. And step into the choice and freedom to align with what authentically works for us. In that alignment, massive co-creation, learning, and evolution occur. 

Melissa’s beliefs have evolved since the start of this podcast. If we do not recognize that we may see things differently one day, we are not leaving room for growth, discovery, or curiosity.

Jon Connelly recently published Grief is Not Sacred and created Rapid Resolution Therapy®. In this episode, Jon shares why he doesn’t believe the way to get over feeling bad is feeling bad, how the mind causes grief, and why his first job as a therapist is getting past the objections to being okay. Jon dispels what he views as some of the myths of grief and why he doesn’t believe emotions need to be released. This episode may challenge how you think of grief, but it may also show you a new way to move through difficult times.

Highlights

3:52 - How Rapid Resolution Therapy is different8:31 - Why Jon doesn't agree with "It's okay not to be okay."11:46 - How the dysfunction of the mind creates grief17:57 - What grief is (according to Jon)20:07 - Why people believe (incorrectly) it's important to grieve23:49 - Taking the first step when you’re actively hurting27:29 - How shame plays a role in grief30:34 - Grief is not one-size-fits-all32:27 - A powerful way to connect with Jon 34:45 - The life-changing possibility of Jon's ideas

About Jon

Jon Connelly first founded the Institute for Survivors of Sexual Violence, a non-profit 501(c)(3) organization engaged in the research and development of cutting-edge treatment for trauma survivors. 

His early career experiences as a child protective service worker and clinical supervisor in a program for traumatized teens helped shape the creation of Rapid Resolution Therapy®. RRT offers innovative training programs designed for people looking to relieve suffering. Doctors, dentists, mental health professionals, teachers, coaches, nutritionists, lawyers, caregivers, nurses, business owners, and others have become Rapid Resolution Therapy members to learn and apply the fundamentals of Rapid Resolution Therapy to themselves and their field. Jon Connelly is licensed as a clinical social worker and holds a doctorate in Clinical Pastoral Counseling.

Jon is the author of Life Changing Conversations with Rapid Resolution Therapy which demonstrates the power of a single session to resolve ongoing trauma and turmoil and dramatically improve well-being. His latest book is called Grief is Not Sacred.

Find Jon

Visit his websiteConnect on InstagramJon’s LinktreeWatch the TED talk mentioned in the episode

About the podcast

Grief and Guts is for anyone navigating:

Bereaved parentsAging parentsDivorceEmpty nestFertility journeyJob lossRelationship endingMovingThe loss of sense of selfThe loss of life envisioned

Meet the host

When Melissa Dlugolecki lost her daughter Leyden, in a case termed a catastrophe, she didn't want to live...never mind love life, again.

As a bereaved mother, when Melissa lost my daughter Leyden, she never thought she would be happy again. Melissa felt guilty when she started to smile.

​As a former educator, Melissa felt trapped by the politics, paperwork, and constricting schedule of the education system.

Yet after building a 7-figure business, traveling the world, launching a podcast, writing a book (more to come), and coaching thousands of individuals, she has found one thing to be true for all of us…

We have the power to create our own happiness, regardless of circumstances. And there are certain processes and strategies effective in doing so.

It’s not just a “think positive” method or a “go harder” approach. I intertwine a dance of intangibles around our energy management with tangibles such as action steps, communication strategies, and ways to feel our best.

Growth isn't always forward progress. It's messy. It's hard. But it is worth it. And while you work your way to whatever goal you are pursuing, just keep showing up. Life is too short to feel stuck.

Connect with Melissa

Learn more at Melissa’s websiteJoin the conversation on Instagram

Credits

The podcast was edited and mixed by Andrew at 51 features. Connect at andrew {at} 51features {dot} com.

Catch up with me on socials!

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/melissadlugolecki/

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