The Lance Of Doom

I was sitting here in my big, comfortable, black leather poppa chair in my living room last night, watching a stink bug crawling up on the wall toward the ceiling. I knew that if I mentioned this to my Lady Wonder Wench, who was sitting in her usual spot on the couch...right under the bug...she would run right out of her socks into the kitchen, and she'd trip and hurt herself. I didn't want that to happen. On the other hand, I was a bit concerned that if I didn't tell her about it, the bug might fall down from the ceiling, and land in her lap. In which case she would skip the running part, pull a Star Trek move...and just kind of beam herself into some parallel universe, leaving only her t shirt, skirt, socks, and hair, behind on the couch, as sad reminders of the wonderful, sexy, happy life we had when she lived here in this universe with me.