Shared Bodily Warmth

I'm recording this podcast while I'm sitting here in my big, manly, comfortable, black leather poppa chair in my living room…by the fireplace. I've got the kindling in place, and a couple of logs stacked on top. When I am finished recording this podcast I am going to start a big, beautiful, warm, cozy fire, and I may try to interest my Lady Wonder Wench in an experiment that has to do with shared, bodily warmth.
It is so cold out that when somebody says "Hello," you can see his lips move, and a little puff of cloud comes out of his mouth, but all you hear is a little clunk because the frozen sound of the word hits the ground. You've got to pick it up and thaw it out to hear it.
It is so cold, flocks of chickens are trying to break into the KFC so they can warm up in the fryer. Male dogs are getting stuck to fire hydrants in the most embarrassing way. Guys are no longer accepting phone calls from funny relatives in Florida. People are shivering like donuts at a weight watchers meeting.
When I came into the house from getting the mail this morning, I spent a few minutes standing in front of the refrigerator to warm up. Playboy magazine can't publish because there's no amount of money that could make a girl take her clothes off. Hitchhikers are holding up pictures of their thumbs. The optician down the block is giving away free ice scrapers with every new pair of eye glasses. Over by the town hall a while ago, a streaker froze in mid streak. The town council decided to just stick a plaque on him and pretend he was a Greek statue until spring. My buddy Randy next door said he chipped a tooth on his coffee.