One Perilous Pound

I may have been sitting here in my big, manly, comfortable, black leather poppa chair in my living room a little too long. That lying, miserable bathroom scale just said I am one perilous pound short of Dick's Disaster. Dick's Disaster occurs at 190 pounds.
I was 175 pounds at the end of my college career, which consisted of weight lifting, swimming, and vigorous Viagral adventures. Don't laugh. I hear some snickers coming from the more fully evolved but prostate challenged among you. Especially those with nicely decorated fourth fingers on your left hands.
Don't laugh. Viagral adventures are great for a guy's health. In fact a new study done at Duke University, claims that having 200 Viagral adventures a year will add an average of six years to a guys life. I sometimes wonder how you get to sign up for studies like that.