034: Numbing To the Point of Almost Dying, Finding Yourself Surprisingly Alone, and Getting Over Your Fears to Heal with Plant Medicine with Shanda Catrice

MEET SHANDAShanda Catrice is a fiercely compassionate healer and spiritual mentor who combines practical wisdom with sacred healing arts to guide women through inner transformation. Her work is centered around the integration of the whole self, through radical love and raw authenticity.Shanda encourages women to embrace the love and light, as well as the shadowy parts of their soul. She has over 10 years of experience learning from various cultures and spiritual traditions from around the world and has facilitated workshops, healing circles, guided meditations, and sacred ceremonial retreats that help women align with the deepest parts of themselves and liberate the truth of who they really are.MY THOUGHTSI can’t even. First, go follow Shanda on Facebook because her lives are phenomenal. You will learn so much about yourself…I promise.My heart. This episode is everything that Going There is about. Resilience, surviving and thriving, rebuilding yourself and your entire life, finding your purpose and meaning, laughter, joy, heartache and heartbreak, setting new boundaries, learning to love how you need to be loved…The sheer humanness is off the charts with this one and I cannot WAIT to have Shanda back to share her family of origin stories with us.In the meantime…IN SHANDA’S WORDSalmost dying and having no one help other than her sister “None of the people that I loved showed up in the way that I wanted them to. So from my perspective, that means there were no friends. For me, it was such a painful experience that I felt – here I am – this is the culmination of my life. This is the value and the worth that I have in this world and this planet, that the culmination of 40 years is that when you are going to die, no one cares.”facing her deepest fears “I was essentially forced to face my most deepest fear in the entire world, which is fear of being alone because now I was alone and it had come true.”learning how to receive love and the hard realization that not everyone has the capacity to love in the way you need to be loved “You have to take the love where you get it. You have to receive it where it’s given and you may not get it because some people don’t have it to give. Some people don’t have the capacity to love you at the level that you need to be loved.” painful realizations “The most painful part of this entire journey has been that I had such low self-worth and value for myself that I had put myself in these relationships.”the danger of numbing “It’s a defense mechanism to dealing with trauma and it’s literally killing us!”a quote from Adyashanti  about our origin stories “Could you change your story…could it be possible that you so love the world so much that you came here because you knew that who you were would be the healing balm to the unhealed? That you would be the medicine. And let that be your origin story instead of all the other things you’re telling yourself?”feeling your feelings “You have to feel. Like you have to feel and you have to start to feel your feelings. And I said, okay, how do I feel my feelings? And once again I found the information. I found this tool within psychology to use, which is called the feelings wheel. And you start to practice…”And my very fave…“If you start now, you can make new relationships for 20 more years that now can be with people that can love you the way you need to be loved and the way you want to be loved. And now you’re different. Now you will have the capacity to actually express those needs and communicate those needs and set proper boundariesBecause I was so afraid of being alone that I would never set any boundaries with people that I love because I was just afraid they would leave and I didn’t want to be alone.”CONNECT WITH SHANDAWebsite | Facebook | Instagram | Find Your Love Style | Free Guided MeditationSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.